by Body, Heart
“If I had known,” he dug his finger into his scalp, “Oh Kira, I wish I could say it wouldn’t have mattered, but I would have run. I would have run so far, so fast, you never would have found me, but it’s only because I’m horrified I’ll annihilate you. I’ll take your heart and your soul, devour them without conscience and leave you an empty shell, reeling from your experience with one Devlin Kiersen, devil incarnate.”
She watched tears fill his eyes, placed her palm firmly against his warm cheek and waited until his gaze met hers.
“If you didn’t have a conscience, we wouldn’t be having this conversation, and you can’t take what I won’t give you.”
He smiled then. Not one of his big beautiful ones that stole her breath, but it was just a relief to see anything that wasn’t pain and regret.
“Even your virginity?”
She looked away shyly.
“Especially my virginity. It was mine to give, Dev. You couldn’t have had it otherwise. It’s not like I hadn’t had plenty of opportunities before this to lose it. This was my choice, not yours. You can’t take responsibility for everything in the world, you know.”
His breath came out on a deep sigh pulling her attention back. He took her palm still on his cheek and kissed it.
“I’ll admit, there’s a primitive caveman inside me that’s stomping around, beating his chest right now because I was your first.” He laughed, “Though I didn’t give you much to write home about.” He licked his lip, shifted again and added, “But given the opportunity, I’ll change that. Gladly.”
It was her turn to laugh, “I don’t care how great it is, I’m not writing home about it. My mother would die. Well, after she spent ten hours in church praying for my soul.”
“Thank God you don’t have any brothers, because I plan to thoroughly debauch you, Kira.”
He pushed her back on the sofa, coming down on top of her, but before his lips could take hers, she turned her head to the side and Dev froze.
“Oooh, universal brush-off. I’m crushed.”
Kira laughed, caressed his cheeks and gave him a quick kiss.
“I want to be debauched, I do. But not here. Can we go some place else? Please, Dev.”
“Yeah, of course.” He sat back up, apparently lost in thought. She watched him while he stood up to pace and took his current distracted state to really take in his body. Everything from his muscles, to his tattoos, to his body hair excited her. She couldn’t wait to leisurely explore his entire body. She couldn’t wait for him to explore hers.
“I have an idea. Pack what you need, you won’t be coming back.”
She bit her lower lip looking around her, completely missing the dark scowl growing on Dev’s face.
“You want to come back? To Miguel perhaps!”
Kira narrowed her eyes and strode over to him. Anger palpitating on his skin, she wondered at how stupid men could be. She gave him a little shove and stared up into his eyes as if completely fearless, of course, with Dev she was, but that was beside the point.
“Look, I’ll come back to Miguel if I damn well feel like it. If you can’t handle that, then just leave right now, Devlin Kiersen, because I won’t be dictated to like some fifties housewife.”
He backed down immediately, running a hand through his hair and looking decidedly sheepish now.
“Please don’t come back here, Kira. I can handle other men, other women, you walking out of my life completely, but I can’t stand the thought of you here, not with them.”
She softened, giving him a sensual smile while running her finger over his dragon’s tail.
“Well, since you asked so nicely.”
Before she could take another breath, he had her mouth prisoner. When he finally released her, she began to wonder if here wasn’t as good a place as any to be debauched.
“Dev, I don’t want her clothes, but I hardly have anything of my own.”
He kissed her one more time, then started putting the rest of his clothes back on. “Just take what you want, I’ll buy you anything you need, and if that bothers you too much, Miss Independent, you can pay me back.” He manipulated the disabled door and stood there for a minute watching her. “But I’d really like to buy you things. I have the money.” He winked at her. “Stay here once you’ve packed, I’ll be back for you in forty-five minutes, not one minute later.”
She’d just had time to do a graceful pirouette when his head popped back in the door.
“Kira.” His voice held a tremor she didn’t like, and it sobered her instantly. “If I am later then that, have Maurice arrange a ride for you into town and get on the first ferry available and don’t look back. Do you understand me?”
She nodded that she did, though she hated even the thought of leaving here without Dev and wasn’t sure she could do it.
“Do you need money?”
Fear shimmied down her back, but she refused to acknowledge it. She nodded again and he put several bills in her hand. He gave her another smile, and this time when he closed the door, she didn’t pirouette, she let that fear make her shiver instead.
Chapter 11
“So is it safe to presume Kira has lost her precious maidenhead now?”
Dev walked into the room with measured calm, carefully closing the door behind him. He moved to the closet, intent on getting his suitcase and ignoring Barbara entirely.
“Was she good, Dev? Did you like the feeling of stripping the innocence from her? Did you cum just from having your cock ram through her hymen? I take it, it was intact.”
Her insidious voice slid right under his skin, stoking the fire of his anger until it was raging full force again.
“Did you want to see her blood on my cock?”
That would have been the end of it—if he hadn’t seen lust flare in her eyes. With one swift movement, he had her slammed against the wall so hard that she actually lost her famous composure and cried out.
“You set me up, Barbara. Why? You knew how I would feel, taking that girl’s virginity.” Grief began to steal his anger. Despite what things had obviously come to, there were many, many years of his life he owed to this woman. “Why would you do that to me?”
He released her, somewhat displeased with the red mark around her throat. Her hand went to soothe it. He waited, wondering if anything she said would be the truth. She, of all people, knew what taking Kira’s virginity would do to him. If he hadn’t had all these feelings for her, if it had been just within the pretext of the game, it would have destroyed him.
It nearly did anyway, only Kira had been his saving grace. Her attitude, her assurances that he hadn’t taken advantage of her. Of her youth, her innocence. The same as his father. His greatest fear. The fear that only Barbara knew. He looked into her eyes, wanting to understand what had happened. Had she been playing him all these years? Had nothing between them ever been real?
“Remember when I found you?” She moved away so he couldn’t see her face. “How insatiable you were? Going through all those girls and nothing ever filled you, not until me.”
She turned back and he knew she was being honest, for what it was worth at this point.
“Not until I showed you my world.”
He looked away, sickened by the memory. Somehow with this latest play, Barbara had taken everything that had gone before and twisted it.
She moved closer, but wasn’t stupid enough to touch him, for which he was thankful.
“But why destroy me? Why destroy Kira? You didn’t even know her.”
She turned, angry steps carrying her to the open balcony doors. “I didn’t have to know her to see how beautiful she was. How young and sickeningly naïve. She answered my ad without one ounce of work experience. How stupid of her.”
When she looked at him, he realized he’d never really seen her before that moment. Where he’d always seen a woman secure in herself and her sexuality, now he only saw a woman controlled by her insecurities.
“She needed to grow up.”
Dev didn’t need anymore, didn’t want anymore. He knew nothing she said would make sense. She was sick. He wondered if the years of game playing—of keeping herself shut off from everything good, from any emotional connections—had withered her soul. Wondered if that’s what would happened to him, because as much as he intended to enjoy Kira for as long as she’d have him, he wasn’t stupid enough to think she wouldn’t eventually see through him. See the real him. And how could she possibly want to stay after that?
“Don’t walk away from me, you ephebophile. I know about you. I know your heart, your very essence, and I embraced you anyway. Do you honestly think some little holier-than-thou priss, who probably won’t even say the word pussy, let alone grind it against you like some wild cat in heat the way I know you need it, is ever going to accept you for who you really are?”
Dev flung the suitcase on the bed, opened it slowly while Barbara’s words sliced their way through his skin, over his heart, and into his soul.
“No. I don’t.” He stared throwing clothes into the open case. “And I’m a fucker for it, but I don’t care, so long as I get to be with her for a while.” He stopped, realizing the truth of what he was about to say before saying it. “She makes me want to be a better person, and maybe she’s the fool for thinking it’s possible. I don’t know what the hell she sees in me, but my life isn’t worth jack shit if I don’t take this chance. And I don’t need her to be a whore to satisfy me, I’ll sit at her goddamn feet and just soak up who she is and it’ll be enough.”
He looked at her again and pity swamped his heart, for her and for himself.
“Too bad you and I are too devoid of a soul to be anything more than we are.”
He threw in a few more pieces of clothing and pulled the bag from the bed, he’d gotten all the way to the door before Barbara said a word.
“I’ve spent too much time and too much money going after her not to have her. And you know me, I never lose. So enjoy your interlude while you can, Devlin. It won’t last.”
Dev walked through the door without looking back, though deep in his soul, her words had hit their mark.
* * * *
Dev held out his hand to Kira to help her balance on the floating pier. It was a beautiful sunny afternoon with a signature sea breeze that blew right through the light gauze top Kira had paired with old comfortable jeans that she’d had forever. She was thankful when she saw Dev, that he hadn’t dressed back up.
She took his hand thinking they were headed for the ferry, but when they kept on passed it, she shot him a curious look, he simply squeezed her hand and told her not to worry.
Momentarily distracted by a group of seagulls diving into the sea beside the pier, squawking and pecking at one another as they dove for fish, she nearly bumped into Dev as he stopped.
“Mr. Kiersen. Everything is ready per your instructions.”
A man of medium height and build with graying curls held his hand out to Dev as they reached the end of the pier. Kira thought he looked a little like the actor who’d played the creator of the Titanic and wasn’t sure this was at all a good idea.
Standing in front of a sleek yacht with a dark blue hull, the man was dressed casually in navy shorts and a white polo shirt. Kira assumed he was the owner of the boat and was maybe giving them a lift somewhere. She allowed her eyes to wander over the impressive vessel and thought she would have been just as happy with the ferry, but this craft was unbelievable.
She’d never seen anything quite like it—well, not outside of a movie, anyway. It seemed large enough to house a small community, and she wondered where everybody else was because from where she stood, there wasn’t another soul in sight and an old Nicole Kidman film came back to her where she’d been terrorized at sea.
She reprimanded herself for watching too much cable and turned her head in time to watch a pair of dolphins surface then quickly disappear under the blue gray water.
“I’m very impressed, Banfield. I knew it was asking a lot to have her readied so fast.”
“It really wasn’t any problem. Sarah and Dodge are already on board. We’re just waiting for you, and instructions, of course.”
Dev winked at Kira and patted the man’s shoulder.
“We just want to be out at sea, Banfield. Take us anywhere you want to go.”
Dev put his foot up on the first step, holding his hand back for Kira who was still a little stunned and hung up on the word anywhere. Didn’t the man believe in a plan? But her admiration for the ship overrode all her uneasiness as she took one last look before climbing aboard.
“She’s stunning.”
Dev beamed. “She is.” He seemed to be taking her in for the first time. “Wait ’til you see her with her sails up. Now come on, beautiful. Let’s get aboard so we can get away from this place.”
She followed him up a sturdy set of stairs onto a side deck. Dev held her hand and led her to the back of the ship, she knew there was a name for that, but couldn’t think of it and wasn’t about to ask and look stupid.
Seating was built into the rear in a half circle, there was a table with chairs and four lounge chairs with side tables. She imagined sitting here when they were out to sea and a surge of freedom coursed through her veins making her giggle inanely.
“Dev.”
Another man, much younger than the first, came from inside the cabin and exchanged a hug with Dev. Both men seemed very happy to see one another, so Kira hung back, trying to affect a casual air.
“Damn, Dodge. It’s been a long time.”
“Too long. Now who’s the pretty lady?”
Dodge took two steps towards Kira before Dev pulled him back with a growled warning. “Back off.”
Dodge laughed as he took a step back on his own, hands up in a universal show of innocence.
“Not to worry, mate. I’ve got my own lady and you know it.”
Kira watched Dev banter, agog. This was not anything like the Dev she’d been with for the past two months. This Dev was relaxed, playful, happy. As he reached for her to introduce her, she felt the ship’s engines roar to life and the deck begin to vibrate beneath her feet.
“Kira, this is Dodge. A good friend.”
Kira shook the man’s hand. He was younger than Dev, but not by much, she thought. His blond hair was cut military short, a gold hoop in each ear, and a Celtic knot much like Dev’s tattooed on his right shoulder, which his navy tank showed to perfection.
“You’ll meet his wife, Sarah, later.” Dev looked at Dodge as if checking his assumptions. “I assume she’s below fixing something or another.”
“No surprise there.” Dodge took Kira’s hand and held it tight. “I can’t tell you how nice it is to meet you, Kira. I’ve waited a good many years for this old sod to bring a woman aboard.” He winked at her. “Guess he was just waiting for the cream to rise to the surface.”
She blushed and smiled and said thank you, but was completely baffled as to what was going on. She decided right then and there if she ever had children, she would expose them to everything—age appropriately, of course—before they went into the world as green as she was.
“Dev?”
“Yes, love?”
He was smiling. No, not smiling, he looked like the Cheshire cat.
“Whose boat is this?”
He tugged her close to his side and looked over the deck, the cabin with that same proud smile she’d seen ever since they’d arrived at the pier. “She’s a yacht, the Alexa Dream. And every fragment of her hundred and thirty feet is all mine, beautiful.”
* * * *
Kira stepped out of the marble shower still stunned over Dev’s announcement. He owned this boat. And was obviously very proud of the fact. Ever since they left Barbara’s, it was as if a dark cloud had lifted from Dev. He seemed years younger, free and playful. That had been the biggest shock. She wasn’t sure what to do with a playful Dev. She was used to a brooding, scandalous Dev, who only smiled when he shocked her.
> She rubbed the thickest towel on the planet over her wet hair, then combed through it. Not only had Dev arranged to have their things brought aboard, someone had unpacked for her—in the master suite—putting her stuff right alongside Dev’s. She guessed it was official. For the duration of this trip, they were effectively living together.
“What do you think so far?”
She screamed and jumped, placing her hand over her heart, meeting Dev’s glance as he came through the cabin door. He’d changed, white, knee-length shorts and an aqua T-shirt that looked big and comfortable. She wanted to burrow into it herself.
If the bedroom décor was any hint, she decided blue was Dev’s favorite color. Cream-colored carpeting led to an enormous raised bed with a blue quilt and more pillows than the local Wal-mart held all in varying shades of blue. The curtains over the windows were blue and the towels in the bathroom were cream and aqua.
“What’s not to like? This is better then anything at Barbara’s.”
He pulled her towel so she had only two choices, go closer or stand naked, she chose closer. When his lips came down on hers, she knew she’d chosen wisely.
“Sweet, sweet Kira. I want you so bad my teeth hurt.”
“Your teeth?”
She laughed and wrapped her legs around his waist as he picked her up.
“Its just an expression.”
He looked as if he wanted to say more but stopped himself. When they got close to the king-sized bed, he set her on the ground. Looking intently into his eyes, she finally figured it out.
“Devlin, you can’t hurt me by giving me what I want. I want you to make love to me. I want you to teach me all the things I don’t know. All my life, I’ve imagined having sex.” She gave him a one-shoulder shrug and a shy smile. “Granted, the man in my fantasies was my husband, but that’s a whole other kettle of fish, and we don’t need to go into that.”
He sat down on the bed and drew her to him. Spreading his legs, placing her between them and pressing a sweet kiss to her belly through the towel. He held her hands and for the first time, Kira really noticed the rings he wore. A solid gold band on his right hand, another with a big pink stone on his pinkie and one that looked like a wreath of olive leaves around his thumb.