Wasted (Kenshaw Ranch Book 5)

by Piper Frost

  "You sure about that?" I whisper to Grant, panicked because the last time I had Tommy's dick inside me, Grant fucking flipped his lid.

  I...I don't think I want that. I don't think I want to see him fucking anyone else. Even if it is Affton! My eyes flash to hers and she's masked whatever look I thought I saw on her face at first. I refuse to be the clingy one, though. I can be what Grant thinks he needs.

  I watch Tommy look at Affton with a look I crave from Grant but I'm starting to think I'll never get it.

  "Bean?" he whispers, casing her face in his hands. "You want that?"

  She stares at me a minute. "I'm okay with it if Carter is." She looks at Grant and he quickly pulls me to my feet.

  Turning my head, holding my chin, he kisses me. "Go fuck Tommy, good girl."

  God, sometimes I wish I could hate this man.

  I nod. "Yes, sir," falls from my lips and I turn and walk over to Tommy smirking.

  Whatever game Grant thinks he's playing, I'll make him regret it.

  "You okay with that?" Affton asks, a sweet smile on her lips.

  "Why wouldn't I be?" I look down at Tommy. "It's kind of an upgrade." I bite my lip and laugh. "Hey."

  "Hey." He laughs, stroking himself as he watches Affton then turns his gaze to me as I straddle his lap and sink onto him.

  Tommy fucks hard. Not as hard as Grant and not near as rough, but when we came I'm sure you could hear our screams outside the walls of the house. No wonder I could always hear him and Affton at night. Before I can catch my breath I hear Affton's moans, cutting through my own haze, and as jealousy rips through me I have to clench my fists that were twisted in Tommy's hair. He flinches, shoving my grip of his hair off, then a worried look crosses his face before he watches his wife come undone by Grant.

  How the fuck does he do this without jealousy? Because right now I can't tell if I want to cry because of it or scream at Grant for obviously not being enough for him. Fuck!

  Affton and Grant start murmuring to each other and his thrusts eventually stop.

  "You sure?" she asks quietly and he shakes his head no before kissing her cheek and slapping her ass lightly so she gets up. She stands on wobbly legs a minute before chuckling and walking toward us. "Time to shower." She grabs Tommy's hand. "Night, you two." She kisses my cheek and pulls Tommy behind her.

  My heart's hammering in my chest and I can't even look at Grant right now. I find my clothes, yanking them on then fixing my hair before I even chance a glance at him.

  "I'm going to head to bed," I murmur, hating myself for falling for a man I never should have fallen for.

  "Yeah. I'm leaving." He walks toward me grabbing my hand and starts dragging me toward the front door. When I step out, he spins to face me. "Fuck!" he barks, his fist hits the house.

  "What the hell is your deal tonight?" I shove him back a step and cross my arms in front of me.

  "You came harder for him than you do for me." He can't even look at me as he paces the front porch.

  "No I didn't," I blurt, hating that guilty feeling that seeps in so easily. I knew that back there wasn't a good fucking idea! "Hey, stop." I grip his elbow and try to force him to look at me.

  "I couldn't even fucking come." He pushes against me, pinning me to the house, his chest heaving like he's been running. "You get under my fucking skin. The fucking noises, your screams. Fuck." He exhales a shaky breath and guides my hand to the erection in his jeans.

  "You didn't like the sight of me coming?" I stroke his hard length and he lets out a low growl. "No?" My fingers undo his buckle, push his zipper down, then slide into his jeans. "But you seemed pretty turned on when my pussy was sliding against Affton's." I nip at his neck and grip him, stroking slow. "It's just another dick inside me you don't like, then?"

  "Fuck," he growls, slamming his mouth to mine, kissing me like he wants to steal my breath. His hips thrust hard and my grip around him tightens. "You're my fucking whore," he grunts, his hips start to slow. "Fuck." His mouth presses against mine. "My good girl," he moans before his hips stop completely.

  I let out a giggle, come dripping down my shirt and his, then swipe at it and bring my finger to my lips, tasting him. "You mean your dirty girl?" I pop my finger out of my mouth and grin at him.

  He holds my face and stares into my eyes. There's something going on in his head and the look on his face is almost sad.

  "Hey, Grant," I whisper, my heart rate picking up because even after everything tonight I know what I have to do.

  His tongue traces my bottom lip before a soft kiss. "I should go home." Moving quickly, he tucks himself away.

  "What are we?" I blurt. Just saying those words out loud feel wrong. Like I'm pushing him. And from the look on his face, I'm pushing him in the wrong direction. "I mean..." I shake my head, still being held between his hands. "What's our future?"

  "I'm a wolf and you're a stupid little lamb." He presses a hard kiss to my lips. "Go plan fairytales with someone else, Carter," he says as he heads down the steps and I feel my heart fracture.

  "What?" I whisper, unable to follow him because while I should have seen that coming...I didn't honestly expect it.

  He gets on his motorcycle and pulls his helmet on. Kicking his foot it starts up but he stops to stare at me a minute. "Go inside, good girl. There are wolves out here."

  He speeds away into the dark night and I can't catch my breath. Like the ground underneath me is crumbling. There's no air and the further he gets the more it hurts.

  But I refuse to cry.

  I storm into the house, slamming the door behind me and pass Tommy's wide eyed gaze on the way upstairs. Locking my door behind me, I head straight for the shower to wash all trace of tonight off me. I refuse to cry over that jerk. The jerk I went and fell in love with.

  Falling to my bed, I grab my phone to type out a text to him when I see a text from Eric from a couple hours ago.

  ERIC: I'll be in your general area later this month. Want to meet for drinks?

  My stomach plummets. I...I didn't want this. But I don't ever see Grant coming around and I can't wait around praying he changes his mind. My heart can't take that.

  CARTER: Sure! You're more than welcome to stay here, we've got plenty of room ; )

  I hit send with trembling fingers then lay back in bed, trying to fight the demons in my mind before drifting off to sleep.

  I can't say this isn't partially my fault. I'm a charming motherfucker, but she put on a good front, acting like she could handle what I had to give.

  Why the fuck would I want to settle with one woman? Why the fuck would I suddenly have the effort it takes to put forth. I don't. I don't want it. Not for her or any woman. What we have going is a good thing. Yeah I care about her, but I care about all my friends. Actually falling in love with her is the furthest thing from what this was. I just want to know why she thinks we should fuck this all up with figuring out our future. Our future is me fucking her senseless and her liking it. The end. We live happily ever after without having to commit.

  I like options. I like opportunities. Why the goddamn fuck would I let all that go for a fucking girl!

  I'm sick of having to lay low because of her, but I do because when I walked away, I saw how hurt she was. Stupid, stupid girl. I let her cool off a few days.

  I should call her. Maybe say sorry. Ask her if we fuck will she feel better. But I actually can't stomach the thought of seeing that look on her face again. She'll get over it. I know she will, and that's why I'm distancing myself until I think it's safe.

  I'm a little surprised I don't get any texts or calls. She has a hard time resisting me, but I'm sure she's punishing me for not doing this her way. How hard is it to accept friendship and great sex? Sounds like a goddamn win to me! Sounds like in the end no one gets caught up in emotions and feelings and confusion and everyone walks away thoroughly fucked and happy.

  "Sup?" I answer Affton's call after my client walks away for a smoke break.

  "You
busy tonight? Come by for dinner? I want to talk to you."

  I sigh. Hopefully she's finally giving me my job back. It's either that or her and Carter talked and Carter tattled on me, but I don’t think she’s that kind of girl. I'm really hoping it's my job. I can go over. Get my planes back. Get fucked. Leave happy.

  "Yeah, what time?"

  "Eight?" She sounds happy so I really don't think Carter's told her I was a dick to her.

  "Want me to bring anything besides my sexy self?" I smirk, looking forward to tonight.

  "Check your ego at the door please." She hangs up.

  When I leave the shop, I go home for a shower. Knowing I wouldn't be seeing Carter for a few days, I haven't groomed, so I take my time in the shower to shave my balls. More than likely she's still upset; after all, I haven't received a text or call yet, so I actually take time to put effort into how I look. She's got good taste, obviously, she fell for me, so I need to remind her why she wants to let go of the stupid feelings of love and continue to use me for good sex like I've been her.

  Looking good, beard trimmed, balls shaved, I smell good enough for her to eat me -her words in the past- I head to Tommy's.

  The first person I see is Carter as she's setting the table. I walk up behind her, my hands sliding over her thick hips and my dick getting instantly hard.

  "Hey, bad girl." I breathe her in as I push my lips to her neck.

  She shoves out of my grasp and walks to the other side of the table. "How's it going, Grant?" Her eyes won't even look my way.

  I chuckle and reach into my pocket, glancing around, pulling out our toy for tonight. I hold out my palm. "I brought you something." I smirk at her and glance around again, making sure we're still alone. I can bend her over the table real quick, lift her skirt and have this inside her through dinner so by the time we're done she'll be dripping for me.

  My cock jumps.

  Her eyebrows furrow and she reaches her hand out, pulling the jade egg from my grasp to inspect it. It's a funny story why I have this egg. It's my birthstone technically. Peridot or jade. So my grandmother, God rest her loco soul, had this jade stone that she said brought her good luck. When she gave it to me, I didn't know what it was, and I know the old woman didn't either. She just thought it was a stone. So did I, up until I became a kinky bastard and noticed my 'stone' was actually what's called a jade egg. I've never used the egg on anyone. It's been kind of special to me. I like to pretend it brings me luck like my bat shit crazy grandma said it would. Well, tonight I need some luck with Carter, so I brought it for her. Specifically for her pussy, but it's a nice peace offering.

  "Hmm," she says, then her eyes finally hit mine and she slides it into her fucking pocket. "Thanks."

  "Thanks?" I start circling toward her and she starts backing away. "Thanks? That's it?" As I move closer, she picks up the pace to get away. I always catch my prey. Snatching her wrist, I press her against the wall, rubbing my hard cock against her hip. "How about you bend that sexy ass over the table and let me taste what I've been missing." I drag my nose up her jaw and she exhales a shaky breath. She closes her eyes, slowly breathing in as her head finally gives a small shake.

  "I'm good. Thanks," she whispers.

  I bite my lip, not moving from keeping her pressed against me and the wall. Her head's down and turned away from me now. She's not good. Not at all. She's pissed. She's hurt. And she's going to play hard to get.

  "You're not good, baby." I slide my finger down her chin, her neck, to her cleavage. "I've missed you, Carter Dawn." Softly nipping her flesh, I rock my hips again.

  "Grant, I'm serious." She shoves me off her. "I need to finish setting the table." She moves to walk away from me, her eyes twirling with the lust/anger combo I used to crave.

  "Carter," I say but she keeps walking toward the kitchen.

  Fuck. I was hoping she'd be over the hurt part and just be onto the pissed off part. She's still hurt and that's worse. I don't like to see the hurt on her pretty face. I'm a dick, I know this, but she also pretended she knew all I had to offer was my dick. Why, all of a sudden, is sex not good enough for her? She said it was. She fucking told me it was. Played along with it. Now all of a sudden fucking feelings are ruining this.

  I'm barely mentally present through dinner. Tommy and Affton have been chatterboxes and I can't stop watching Carter, noticing she's almost as gone as I am. I can't focus on much but the part comes where Affton gives me my job back and I do a good job of acting happy about it. It's not that I'm not, but I'm pissed Carter's hurt. I can deal with her pissed off, but her hurting because of me is brutal. Tonight's a night I should be proud that I've gotten my shit together in the matter of a couple months. I still occasionally drink, but I haven't been drunk since the night I wrecked my bike. I wasn't an alcoholic. I was addicted to the routine so it wasn't hard not drowning myself on the daily. Changing my routine's what's been hard, but my family knew what to do for me to get my shit together to prove myself, and I did it. I should be proud.

  I'm not. I'm pissed I hurt my friend.

  As I help clear the table, I follow her like I'm her fucking tail.

  "Carter." I wrap my hand around her arm. "Talk to me," I urge quietly while we're in the kitchen.

  "What do you want to talk about?" Her face is stone but her eyes blink rapidly as she glances down to where I'm holding her arm.

  "I miss you, baby." I smirk and slide my thumb over her bottom lip. "You got plans after this? Maybe we can catch up." I wink at her, my grin set.

  Her eyes widen briefly before that stone mask is back in place. "I actually do tonight. Sorry." She shrugs indifferently. "But it was good seeing you. You look good." She stops abruptly like she realized what she was saying. "I mean happy. You look happy. Congratulations on getting your job back, by the way." She's breathing deep and the longer we stand here the longer I see the look in her eyes change from stone back to that hurt, pitiful look she carried all throughout dinner.

  I shake my head in confusion, actually shocked she's still carrying this out. "Carter." I grab her hips. "I'm sorry I hurt you or whatever, but don't throw away our good time for your crazy need to plan your future." I chuckle like she's naive.

  The rage burns fury back into her eyes seconds before her hand cracks across my cheek.

  "God forbid someone wants something more in their life than sex, Grant." She takes a step back and shakes out her hand. "God forbid someone actually have feelings for you." She turns to storm away.

  I flex my jaw and rub the burn. It felt like she cold cocked me but it was an open handed slap. Affton's wide eyes when she walks into the kitchen verifies she heard it.

  "What the hell was that?" she asks moving toward me. "Did she...just slap you?" She glances toward the stairs Carter just stormed up.

  "No." I rub my jaw again. Abuse and Affton don't mix. More so than your average person. I don't want her pissed at Carter, and I don't want her pissed at me thinking I deserved this.

  "Grant Matthews," she warns. "What'd you do to her?"

  "Oh please." I scoff. "I didn't do anything she didn't want me to." I step toward the stairs but Affton grabs my shirt.

  "Give it a rest tonight. Leave her alone, okay?" She straightens my shirt then frowns at what I know is a blazing red mark on my jaw.

  "I'm fine," I insist and move away from her.

  "So in a week I need you to pick up Eric Topey. He's my new textiles designer and you'll be getting to know him well." She grins in excitement.

  I remember the name, I've met him, but I don't know who the hell he is and I actually don't give a fuck right now. I can't believe she fucking slapped me.

  I rub my jaw again and nod.

  I leave shortly after listening to Affton excitedly carry on about this Eric guy, but he's pretty important to her new line so I have to act excited. By the time I get home I'm fucking stewing. Laying in bed, I angrily grab my phone.

  GRANT: You fucking hit me!

  I fall asleep but get woken
up by my phone buzzing on my chest. It's been an hour since I texted her and she's finally replying.

  CARTER: I did. You were being a dick.

  GRANT: Okay, I said sorry. Are you over it now? Take a ride over.

  I don't get a response and when I wake in the morning I chuckle. Fuck her then. She'll get over this but apparently needs a little more time.

  When I pick up Affton's new infatuation because he's apparently a textiles god, I recognize the guy immediately. He was hitting on Carter at a party Affton threw.

  "So where ya staying? Need me to take you to your hotel?" I ask him while opening the car door for him. We landed forty minutes ago, but I took my time 'cause he's been sick from the flight.

  "Oh no, you can take me straight to Affton's. I'll be staying there this week."

  My brows raise. "You will, huh?" I chuckle and slam the back door when he gets in. "It's a big house," I mumble to myself. They better not let the fucker in my room! "How long you in town for, man?" I ask after getting in.

  "Like I said. A week." He furrows his brows at me and shakes his head, pulling out his phone.

  I realize he told me that but I stopped listening after he said he'd be staying at Affton's.

  "Sorry, wasn't listening." I turn up the music for the five minute ride to the house.

  We get out of the car and when we walk through the front door, Carter lowers her tablet and smiles. I grin, missing that fucking smile. Thank god she's fucking over this. Before I approach her, she heads for Eric and I reel back. That fucking smile was for this douche? What the fuck!

  "It's so good to see you again." She practically croons, wrapping her arms around him.

  He brings her in for a tight hug and if I'm not mistaken, he takes a pretty good whiff of her hair. "I know. It feels like forever since Germany." He smiles down at her.

  "Yeah." She giggles then nods to his bag. "Come on, I'll show you where you're staying."

  Since Germany? She fucked this idiot in Germany? I was fucking her before and after Germany. She went to Germany and fucking fucked him! I open my mouth but before I can say anything, she takes him through the kitchen. The only goddamn room you can get to through the kitchen is the one upstairs in her loft. He's staying with her upstairs? I look around, ready to go off, but I'm alone.