Stockholm Surrender

by Lily Harlem

  Ty weaved through the other couples moving gently to the music. When he reached the spot just in front of the band, he turned, smiled and pulled me close. He settled a hand on my back, high above the rise of my ass, and curled the other around my right hand, squeezing it into his chest.

  Slipping my free hand onto his shoulder, I was careful not to lean into him. It took all the willpower I possessed though, because melting my body against his, allowing him to hold me up close and personal was exactly what I wanted to do. But I knew full well that was not how Phil would expect me to dance with Ty. I feared that if I molded my body to his the way I wanted to, it would be as good as having lovers stamped on our foreheads.

  “You feel so right in my arms,” Ty whispered.

  “Mmm, it feels right.”

  The song changed to another melancholy tune about eternal love and Ty set up a lazy sway. I moved with him, relishing being in his embrace, breathing the same air as him and feeling his strength surround me. Oh, why couldn’t things have been different between us?

  A sudden stab of sadness hit me and my sigh came out with a little judder.

  “Hey, baby, what’s the matter, you don’t like dancing with me?”

  “Yes, of course I do.” I looked up at him.

  “So what is it? Your eyes have that sad, shadowed look that tears me apart.”

  “It’s just… When will we be together again?”

  “You’ve never known when you’re going to see me next.”

  “I know but…”

  He frowned and let out a sigh. “I wish I could tell you.”

  “But that’s what makes it hard, you don’t know either.”

  He squeezed my hand against his chest. “Get rid of all this craziness and there is something really special between us, so I know this isn’t the last time I’ll see you. It can’t be.”

  “But I’m off to Beijing tomorrow and then Tokyo. Next week I’ll be back in England.” I tilted my head. “Where will you be?”

  “I’ll still be here.”

  “You will?”

  “Yes, I need to work before I can afford a ticket home.”

  “I’ll lend you some money.”

  He frowned. “No, absolutely not.”

  “But—”

  “It’s okay, I have a job.”

  “You do? Out here?”

  “Don’t look so surprised. I’ve turned my hand to all sorts over the last few years in all kinds of weird and wonderful places, not to mention I’ve been paid in all manner of currencies.” He slid his hand down my back and I risked leaning into him, just a little.

  “So what are you doing out here?”

  He grinned. “I’ve got a job on one of those little water taxis, giving commentary in English and French to tourists about the Chao Phraya River and the sights of Bangkok.”

  “Wow, you have? You speak French?”

  He nodded. “It doesn’t pay much but it will add up if I’m just staying in the hostel and eating cheap. Besides, I have time to kill between now and the trial. May as well be earning.”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “And James’ parents and his brother are flying out next week too, so I will have them for company.”

  “That’s good.” I gripped his shoulder a little tighter. It seemed he had things all figured out. But why was I surprised? If there was one thing I knew for sure about Ty, he was always a man with a plan.

  I glanced over at Phil. He had his crossword book out but his gaze was moving around the room. I shifted slightly so Ty’s broad back blocked him from my view and looked up into Ty’s eyes, baring myself open to him. “You really mean what you just said?”

  He swept his tongue over his bottom lip, leaving a damp sheen that was so damn tempting I had to close my eyes for a second and harness my self-control.

  “What, baby?”

  “That there’s something special between us?”

  “I can’t believe you even have to ask.” He tugged me a fraction nearer and evidence of his erection prodded my stomach.

  A tremble of desire shot straight to my pussy. It weakened my knees and dampened my knickers. “Humor me,” I said in a tight voice. “I’ve seen that you’re friends with a hundred different girls on Facebook.”

  “Yeah, but I already told you, none of them are like you.” He pulled a face as though he was in discomfort.

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah, but this is killing me, having you in my arms, wanting to bury myself in you and not being able to.”

  I pulled back from him slightly, releasing some of the pressure on his cock. “It’s the same for me too.”

  He took a deep breath then angled his head as though contemplating me. “You’re unique, special, Penny. Right from the first time I saw you on the beach outside Kangaroo Bill’s I felt a huge connection with you. Like I wanted to steal you away and make you mine.”

  “You did?”

  “Yes. That’s why it was so hard for me to admit how much I wanted you physically. My feelings were to protect you, keep you safe from the big bad world, and there was me, I was the big bad world.”

  He swallowed and I let the tip of my finger stray to his Adam’s apple, absorbed the rough texture of his late evening stubble. “So I’m a little doll you want to look after?” I struggled to keep the indignation from my tone.

  He grinned. “No, of course not. Your sharp mind, your independence and your desire for justice has also snared me. Not to mention your incredible ability to get things done when you want to.”

  “Snared you?”

  He tipped his head until his lips rested against my temple. His hand spread over my back and he held me a little tighter “That, baby, is my way of saying I’ve fallen in love with you.”

  Butterflies in my stomach took off and my heart fluttered. I pulled my head back and looked into his eyes. “You have?”

  “Yeah, talk about crazy, eh? I thought the hostage was supposed to fall for their captor, not the other way around.”

  “Stockholm Syndrome,” I whispered.

  “Yeah, that’s it.” His face was dangerously near mine, his lips far too close for comfort. All I wanted to do was mash my mouth to his, strip him naked and celebrate the beautiful words he’d just said. But I couldn’t, and as the song ended and we spun on the dance floor to face Phil, I knew I had to break the spell before I lost control.

  “We should finish our drinks,” I said, pulling from his embrace.

  His eyes flashed. He glanced at the bar then Phil. As he stepped away I realized I hadn’t said the words back to him. I loved him. I loved him so much. I loved him more than I’d ever loved any other guy—but I hadn’t let him know.

  “Nice chap,” Phil said as just he and I rode the elevator to the eighth floor a half hour later.

  “Yes.”

  “Easy to get on with.”

  “Mmm.” I stared at the small yellow triangle flashing as we climbed the floors.

  “You seem to have quite a connection…already.”

  “Phil, I hope you weren’t staring at us dancing,” I said, putting a teasing note in my voice.

  “I watch everything, it’s my job.”

  His tone told me he wasn’t up for a bit of banter like he sometimes was.

  “And we’re all very grateful for everything you do,” I said, folding my arms over my chest.

  “Thank you.” He paused. “Though when there’s someone out there plotting against your father and his family I have to be extra vigilant, notice every little thing.”

  “Of course.” The elevator hit eight and we stepped out. “I understand that.”

  We walked down the empty corridor. “Can I ask you something, Penny?”

  “Certainly.” I was aware that alcohol was slowing my thought process. I willed myself to think logically. To remember the tangled web I was living in and who Ty was supposed to be to me.

  “Is today the first time you’ve met Mr. Winters?”

  “What?”<
br />
  “Is today the first time you met him?”

  “Of course, why on earth would you ask such a thing? Good heavens, you were there when we were introduced this morning by Hans.”

  He nodded. “I was.”

  “So, why ask?”

  He hesitated, as if contemplating his words. “He knew you took sugar, Penny. I saw him slip a cube into your tea without having to ask if you wanted it.”

  Shit, I knew he would bring it up. He was like a damn Rottweiler once he had a puzzle in his head. Wouldn’t let it go. “I don’t know. He probably saw me take sugar in my tea this morning, at the meeting.” I shrugged nonchalantly.

  “Mmm, maybe.”

  We stopped outside my door.

  “Phil,” I said, “take a chill pill, keep your eye on the lookout for the bad guys, don’t worry about the good ones.” I grinned naughtily then tried and failed to suppress a boozy hiccup.

  He gave me a half-smile and pulled out the tiny alarm from his top pocket. “Thanks for the advice, Penny.”

  Searching through my clutch for the key to my room, I said, “You know me, full of advice.”

  He laughed. “Yeah, I know, but now take some from an old guy. Go drink a big glass of water before you go to bed and…”

  “And?”

  “And you two look good together. If you get the chance of a real date, without your parents tagging along and cramping your style, you should take it.”

  “Ah,” I said, opening my door. “If only, but him in Thailand and me off on my travels with the British foreign secretary, the chance would be a fine thing.”

  He nodded slowly. “Life has a funny habit of drawing together people who are meant to be in each other’s lives.”

  I had a sudden rush of affection for him. “Thanks, Phil, that was a nice thing to say to me at the end of this evening.” I reached up and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “Good night.”

  He smiled. “Good night, Penny, sweet dreams.” He held up the alarm. “And you know the routine.”

  “I do.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Six weeks later

  I sat at my small student desk, my laptop whirring and my lamp flickering. The bulb was getting ready to blow. I hit save and shut down my documents. I had a headache, but that was nothing new these days. Headache, heartache, it was all the same.

  I wandered from my small room into the kitchen and switched on the kettle, stared out the curtainless window at the cold darkness. It was only early evening but the short January days made my lonely nights all the more depressing. The girls were all out. Nat had a steady boyfriend now and spent most of her time at his flat, Tara had found herself a job in a local bar and Jane had taken to hanging out with a group in her art history class.

  Perhaps I would call Trinny for a natter. I missed her so much. The first term at Oxford had been such a whirlwind of events, and with my trip to the Far East thrown into the mix, I’d barely had time to miss my best friend of twenty years. But after traveling to Edinburgh to spend Hogmanay with her, I realized how much I regretted us not going to the same university. We’d been in each other’s lives for so long that being apart was a wrench, and on top of that, it was multiplied by the screaming absence of another person in my life too.

  *

  When I’d got off the train in Edinburgh she’d rushed through the crowd and hugged me tight. As I’d clung to her I’d known, in that moment, I was going to tell her everything. It was just too big a part of me now and I knew she’d see it in an instant.

  “Oh Pen, you’ve got so thin, and what the hell is going on with the hair? Oh, I am so glad you’re here, I’ve missed you so much.”

  “And I’ve missed you too,” I said as we linked arms and headed to the bus stop. “Oxford is great but it would be so much better if you were there.”

  She turned to me with narrowed eyes. “Is it a man? Are you having guy trouble? You didn’t even tell me you were seeing anyone.” She sighed. “Pen, oh, how could you not tell me?”

  “Not here,” I said, “When we’ve got back to your place and opened a bottle of wine. Then I’ll tell you everything.”

  “Absolutely everything?”

  “Absolutely everything, I promise.” Just saying that was a relief, because I couldn’t keep my emotions in any longer. They were eating me alive. Each day the pain was wearing me down, chipping away at my heart and soul. I felt as though I was only half the person I’d been before.

  An hour later, sitting on her old sofa with the gas fire blazing and a glass of wine in my hand, I looked at Trinny, took a deep breath, and steeled myself for the whole sorry story. “You have to swear to keep this to yourself and I mean it.”

  She looked hurt. “When have I ever spilled any of your secrets?”

  “Never, but this is big. Like jail-time big. If you ever told a living soul all hell would break loose.”

  Her eyes widened and she took a big slug of her wine. “I promise. Besides, you know enough of my secrets.”

  I shook my head. “Yes, but nothing like this.”

  “God, the suspense is killing me. Dish the dirt, will you?”

  I stared unblinking at the licking flames of the fire. “You remember when I was abducted from Kangaroo Bill’s?”

  “Bloody hell, how could I forget? The entire cast of 24 arrived after I called the police to say the British foreign minister’s daughter was missing.”

  I nodded. I’d heard her version of events over and over. Now it was time to tell her mine. The real version.

  “The man that took me was called Ty Winters.”

  She sat forward, eyes wide. “Oh my god, you know his name now? That’s great. I’m sure the police will be thrilled to have a new lead.”

  I shook my head and pursed my lips. “I won’t be telling the police, Trinny. Ever.”

  “Why the hell not?” Her voice was loud and indignant.

  “Because…” I swallowed past a tight lump in my throat and blinked away the moisture forming in my eyes. “Because I’m in love with him.”

  “What?” she gasped.

  Raising my wineglass to my lips, I noticed I was shaking. I took a sip then held the stem with both hands.

  “Penny…?”

  I gave a tight sigh. “I’m hopelessly, completely in love with him. And he was in love with me too, but I messed it all up.” I turned to her. “Oh Trinny, I messed it up so bad, and he was so right for me, we were so good together.”

  She set down her wine then reached for mine and put it aside. Next thing I knew she’d wrapped her arms around me and I was sobbing.

  “Oh hon, I think you really should tell me everything. How could you have let it reach this point without even a word to me?” She stroked her hand down my back then up again and smoothed my hair.

  “Because it was a crazy roller-coaster ride and everything happened so quickly. One minute he was there, the next gone.” I juddered in a breath and searched for the handkerchief that had become a permanent fixture in my jeans pocket. “And now I haven’t seen him for weeks.”

  She pulled back, passed me my wine and reached for hers. “So, tell me exactly who Ty Winters is, and how he’s managed to get you into this dismal state. Start right from the beginning, properly?”

  I nodded. “Okay, well, remember we were on the beach that day, and that group of Australian surfers were mucking about?”

  “Mmm, yes.”

  “Do you remember the one with the tattoo, a dragon on his biceps? Blond hair, blue eyes, a bit quieter than the others?”

  She took another sip of her wine and narrowed her eyes. “Yes, yes I think I do.” She paused. “Oh my Jesus, that’s him? That’s the guy who took you? Yes, of course. Duh. How could I be so stupid?” She knocked the heel of her hand against her forehead. “How did I not put it together? Everyone at Kangaroo Bill’s was questioned about when they’d last seen you, but he wasn’t there.”

  I shook my head. “Of course not, he was with me.”
/>   “But you said it was an older guy, English, who took you.”

  “I was protecting Ty. I gave a false description.”

  “Why? You didn’t know him. You hadn’t even spoken to him. I’d seen you giving him a bit of the eye but nothing else had happened. Had it?”

  “No, not at that point.”

  “But it did once he kidnapped you?”

  “Yes, because he’s not a bad man, Trinny. You have to understand, he took me to save his friend.”

  “Well, of course I know that part of the story.”

  “But don’t you see, he hadn’t taken me for money or for personal gain. He was helping a friend. Surely that just goes to prove how loyal and moral he is. What an utterly good man he is, right to the very bottom of his heart.”

  “Jesus, there’s a name for that. Swiss Syndrome or something.”

  “Stockholm.”

  “Yeah, that’s it.”

  “But it isn’t that. We were attracted to one another anyway, before he took me.”

  “So presumably you’ve seen him since.”

  I fingered my shortened bit of hair that had nearly grown back. “Yes, in Oxford. He sent a piece of my hair to Dad as a threat of what he’d do next if Dad didn’t throw his weight into the James Hill case.”

  “Bloody hell.” Trinny reached out and fluffed my hair. “I thought it looked a bit weird.”

  “Dad was mad, but not as furious as when Ty sent a picture of me bound and gagged in my underwear. That really caused him to flip out. I thought he was going to have a stroke.”

  She grimaced. “And you still liked Ty at this point? Even after that?”

  “Yes, what he was doing was admirable, and I wanted to help him. Him and James.”

  She topped up our wine.

  I was quiet for a moment, letting her digest my story.

  Eventually she looked at me. “Okay, so what happened next?”

  “Well, I persuaded Dad to stop over in Thailand and meet with the super-efficient human rights lawyer James had been assigned, and also bring up the case with Kasit Yong, the Thai foreign minister.”

  “How convenient that Daddy is such a powerful man.”

  “Not convenient, that was the whole reason Ty reached out to me in the first place.”