by Gary Ruffin
I did my best fake sigh, and said, “You’re absolutely right. Whatever chance we had for absolute happiness just went up in absolutely the most absolute smoke in the absolute—help me out here.”
She laughed, and said, “Oh, shut up, you dreadful old man, I’m trying to hear my neighbors sing.” She sang along with John and Paul, in perfect tune.
I said, “Well, I’ll say one thing for you, missy. You’re full of surprises. Never in a million years would I have taken you for a rich girl.”
“And for exactly what would you take me?” she asked with a sexy look in her big green eyes.
I looked at her for a second before asking, “Will you please quit leavin’ the door wide open with all kinds of innuendo? Or should it be ‘leavin the window wide open with’ … never mind, just knock it off, will ya?”
My fake scowl didn’t work, and she said, “You love it, and you know it. You may be an ancient geezer, but there’s still a part of you that’s young enough for me. And I don’t mean that part, either. Get your mind out of the gutter. Anyway, you might just as well give up, Cooper. We Pages can be quite determined when we see something we want.”
The Beatles ended their tune, and she turned off the radio. She said, “We shan’t hear anything better than that today. Or anything more appropriate.”
I liked the Beatles before I met Cherry Page, but at that moment, I loved them.
Trying yet again to keep things aboveboard, I said, “So, your mom’s maiden name is Cherry. I just assumed like everyone else you got your name because of your hair.”
“You’re right, that is what everyone assumes. In truth, my name was chosen before I was even a twinkle in me dad’s eye. Had I been a boy, I was to have been called Oliver. Please tell me you prefer driving Cherry Page rather than Oliver Page.”
“Hmmm, let me think. Yep, I’d hafta say that I prefer drivin’ Cherry rather than Oliver.” Pause. “I’m relatively happy, but I’m not gay.”
“Awfully glad to hear it. Glad that you’re happy, and that you’re not gay.”
26
LAWRENCE LYNDON-BOWEN HAD BEEN WATCHING THE RELENTLESS MEDIA coverage concerning Cherry and her stalker, and had come up with a plan to take advantage of it. He was stuck in traffic near Agnes Scott College, the location for much of the film, when he hit upon an idea that made him smile and pull out his cell phone. He soon had his director, Chuck Guinness, on the line, and was trying to persuade him to join in on the scheme.
“Chuck, we’re already getting tons of publicity from these dreadful killings, and if we were to let Cherry disappear for a few days, it would become an utter deluge of ink being poured out on to paper worldwide. Think of it, the headlines would write themselves: ‘Missing Movie Star’ this, ‘Missing Movie Star’ that. Surely you can see my point?”
Seated at the desk in his suite, Guinness said, “There already is a deluge of ink. As well as video. I don’t know, Lawrence. The whole idea seems a bit ghoulish to me. I mean, using the suffering of innocent people, as well as our star, purely for financial gain? It just doesn’t feel right somehow.”
Lawrence replied, “I understand your point of view, Chuck, really I do, but you need to look at this through my jaundiced eye, and see that we can make something good come from all these terrible things. The more money the film makes, the more we have to share with all those who have a vested interest in it. Not just you and I, but everyone from the grips to the stars will benefit. You see that, don’t you?”
“Yes, Lawrence, I can see that, and your point is well taken. But I’m also worried about what taking time off will do to the feeling of camaraderie that is forming within the group. It can be quite a delicate balance, and I don’t want to muck it up while all is going so well.”
Lawrence said, “If that’s your major concern, I hardly think that a few days will change the dynamic of the group. In fact, it might even make them more inclined to rally ’round our girl. But obviously, I’m looking at it from a purely monetary standpoint: you know, add a little more mystery to the already boiling pot, and it can only help our cause. ‘Where Is Cherry’ and ‘Cherry Is Found’ stories will keep us on the front page, no pun intended, for weeks, I tell you. Weeks.”
Guinness paused for a beat, and then said, “I actually could use a little more time to work with my leading man, and scout the college location a bit more. And—I must admit—more free publicity is not something to which I’m opposed.” He sipped his vodka tonic, and said, “All right then, Lawrence. I’ll set the wheels in motion. How does three days sound? Is that enough time?”
Lyndon-Bowen said, “Why not keep her hidden until next Monday? That way, we shall have five full days of utter madness, and we can spring her on the media at the beginning of the week, when everyone’s back from their weekend gatherings, and whatnot. Believe me, it’s always best to be the big news at the week’s start, as opposed to its end. Remember, I was in the publicity department at Stonestreet for nine years before I ever produced a foot of film. Just leave it all to Uncle Larry.”
Guinness didn’t want to leave it all to Uncle Larry, but he really could use more time. Any filmmaker at any level could always use more time. He said, “I’ll call Cherry’s girl when we hang up, and tell her that Cherry needs to disappear until next Monday. Call me first thing tomorrow morning. I want to discuss the location shooting and run some ideas past you.”
“Splendid. I’ll call you bright and early. Oh, one more thing. Let’s keep our plan a secret from the cast and crew. I don’t want any leaks to the press.”
“Fine by me. The less who know, the better. I’ll wait for your call.”
They hung up, and Guinness told his assistant, Lynne, what was happening, and what needed to happen. She immediately got on her cell, and Guinness immediately went back to his vodka.
27
CHERRY AND I HAD A VERY PLEASANT DRIVE BACK TO THE RITZ, AND managed to get there without being spotted by any news types. I pulled into our reserved spot behind the hotel, and there were the usual ten or twelve photographers standing above us on the sidewalk, yelling and snapping pictures.
The loading dock area of the hotel is actually well below street level, so they can look down on us from their perch on the sidewalk. Cherry smiled up at them, and blew a kiss, so I did, too. This made them yell questions at me, and I did the old ‘I can’t hear you’ routine, cupping my hand to my ear and shaking my head. Cherry then did the same, and we walked up the ramp that leads to the lower part of the Ritz.
I made up my mind about whether or not to tell her about the latest message and murder on the ride up in the elevator.
I said, “Listen. There’s been another killing, and another message from the stalker.”
She closed her eyes and slumped against the back wall of the elevator, and said, “Oh, no, please don’t tell me that. I simply cannot bear another person being killed because of me.”
I took hold of her arm, and said, “Cherry, look. It’s not your fault. This maniac could be after anyone who’s famous. You just happen to be the target this time, that’s all. You’re not the cause, so stop saying that you are.”
She kept her eyes closed and didn’t speak again until the doors opened onto the fifth floor. As we walked out, she said, “Please don’t tell me what the message said, or who was killed.”
“I have no intention of letting you read the message, and you don’t need to know the details. As far we’re concerned, there isn’t a laptop within fifty miles of this joint. We’ll have a quiet evening in the suite, and go about our lives as if nothing happened. Okay?”
Smiling weakly, she said, “Whatever you say, Cooper. You’re the chief.”
“That’s more like it.”
We had just walked into the suite when she got a call from Sally Allen. She listened for a minute or so, and said, “Well, you’ll get no complaint from me, dear. I could surely use a vacation from this whirlwind we wake up to each day. You’re certain Chuck is on board with it?
He usually likes to—oh, okay, then. I guess I’d better start planning my vanishing, then. Love you, too, dear. Bye-bye.”
I took a seat in one of the armchairs, and asked, “What’s this about vanishing and a vacation?”
She said, “You remember Lawrence? The smarmy creature that keeps trying to get a date with me? Our executive producer?”
“How could I forget Old Leather Pants? How does he figure into your going on vacation?”
Cherry flopped down on the sofa, took off her sneakers, and said, “Lawrence has decided that if I ‘disappear’ until next Monday the media will go insane, and the resulting publicity will boost interest in the film.”
“Hmmm, so what he’s sayin’ is: daily coverage in every newspaper in the world and on the Internet, and twenty-four-hour-a-day coverage on every channel on TV in every nation in the world just isn’t good enough.”
“Precisely,’’ Cherry said, leaning back on the sofa. “I suppose he wants thirty or forty hours a day devoted to my stalker and me.” She looked at the unopened laptop on the coffee table, and said, “Honestly, it would be nice to take a little break from this madness, even if just for a short while. I have to say, sometimes I feel as if I may go into hysterics and never come out.”
I got up and put the laptop on the shelf in the closet, and said, “Well, we can’t have you dissolving into a pool of tears, now, can we? Anyplace special you have in mind?”
Cherry leaned forward and put her elbows on her knees. “As a matter of fact, I do have a place in mind. And I should think you’d be right at home there,” she said.
I walked over and sat on my bed by the window. “Let me guess, Jolly Old England?”
“No, silly goose, I was thinking more along the lines of somewhere a bit warmer.”
“Oh. Okay, then. Someplace warmer. Let’s see. I know what would be good. How ’bout Bermuda? I hear they really like Brits out there. Especially you privileged types.”
“No, not Bermuda. But you’re on the right track.”
I thought for a moment, and said, “I’ve got it. The Bahamas. We can even gamble down there.”
“Nope.”
“Las Vegas?”
Cherry laughed, and said, “No! I want to have a bit of a rest, not a wicked, sinful gambling spree.”
“Okay, I give up. Where, then?”
She said, “I told you. Somewhere you would feel right at home.”
I got it then. “Oh, no, Cherry, you don’t mean …”
“Oh, yes, Cooper, I do mean. Gulf Front, here we come!”
Part Two Camera …
28
PENNY WAS ABOUT TO BLOW HER TOP.
The day had been a nightmare from the moment she got out of bed. First, the toilet overflowed, and Binny couldn’t get there to fix it until after two o’clock, because he was going to his wife’s uncle’s funeral. So, Penny had to mop up the water and make arrangements to leave him a key so he could come by and do the repairs when he was free.
Then the power went off as she was in the middle of drying her hair, because some moron made a mistake on a work order. Her nearest neighbor’s power was supposed to be turned off because he was leaving for six months, but hers was cut off instead. It took over an hour to straighten it all out, and that made her late for work, and cranky to boot.
She spent her first half hour at the office apologizing to Doreen for snapping at her. Coop’s secretary was the sweetest woman in the world, at least to Penny, and said to just forget it, but Penny couldn’t.
Then, at 2:15, when everything seemed to be going smoothly, Binny called and told her she was “lookin’ at about five hunnerd dollars’ wortha work” before she could use her bathroom again.
She told him to go ahead and fix it, and then had to phone her landlord/uncle in New York and get him to wire her the money. She felt guilty about asking Uncle Stan for the money since he rented her the cottage for a pittance, but as he had told her more than once, the landlord was responsible for maintaining the rental property. And besides, a woman without a bathroom is no woman at all, she thought.
So when she found herself refereeing a domestic brawl in the boondocks, she saw it as the perfect end to a perfect day.
Danny Shannon and his wife Serena were at it again, having one of their drunken knock-down, drag-out fights, and it was fifteen minutes past quitting time. Penny had taken the call thirty minutes earlier, and ever since had been trying to get the two combatants to calm down and go back inside their trailer home, which sat two miles outside the city limits. But every time it looked as if the fight was over, one of them would say something nasty about the other, and it would start up all over again.
Danny had a huge lump over his left eye caused by a cast-iron frying pan that Serena had smashed upside his head, and she had a bloody nose caused by Danny’s buttocks. He had turned his back on her to plead his case to Penny, and when Serena tried to sneak up on her husband to hit him with the frying pan again, she stumbled and fell, ramming her face into his bony backside.
After wrestling the frying pan from Serena’s grasp and putting it the patrol car, Penny had literally sized them up. She figured that Serena weighed about two hundred and twenty-five pounds, and Danny one-twenty in his clothes and boots, so their tally came to almost three hundred and fifty pounds of pure meanness. Add a couple of quarts of cheap booze to the equation, and no doubt about it, you had a fun day all the way around.
Just as Penny thought for the umpteenth time that the fracas was finally coming to an end, Danny called Serena a “hillbilly pig,” and she took off her shoe and began to beat him about the head and shoulders with it.
So, acting chief Prevost was about to lose it, and lock them both up and be done with it, when fellow officer Earl Peavey pulled up next to the trailer. Penny took a deep breath and relaxed because Serena had a huge crush on Earl, and would always instantly stop fighting if he took the call.
Twenty minutes earlier, Earl had just started his shift when Penny called and told him to drive out to the Shannon trailer. There had been a slight delay because while Earl was stopped at one of the three traffic lights in Gulf Front, Heather Gilley drove her old Toyota into the back of Miss Wallace’s new Saturn. Had it been anyone else, the matter would have been settled quickly, but Miss Wallace was impossible to deal with when she wasn’t angry, and she was very angry at that moment.
Now that her Earl was finally on the scene, Penny could go home and forget the worst day she had experienced in months.
She watched as Serena and Danny shook hands with Earl, both of them immediately calming down as if nothing had happened. Serena calmed down because she didn’t want Earl to dislike her, and Danny calmed down because he didn’t want the much larger Earl to cream him.
Penny said, “Carry on, Earl, I’m gone,” got into Coop’s car, and left at a high rate of speed. She slowed down when she was nearing the city line, and relaxed for the first time all day.
The tension in her neck was driving her crazy, and she cursed Coop loudly for not being there to give her one of his patented shoulder rubs. Then she cursed him for not calling her, cursed him for being on TV with Cherry Page, and then she cursed him for living. She was all knotted up and all cursed out as she pulled into the graveled parking area behind her beach cottage.
The only things she wanted at that point were a beer and a bath. She opened the door of the screened porch, made her way to the kitchen, and dropped her keys on the counter. After grabbing a Rolling Rock from the fridge, she went into the tiny bathroom and checked to see if the toilet flushed correctly. It did, and she moved to the tub and turned on the hot water for her bath.
As she waited for the tub to fill, Penny wondered yet again what was keeping Coop from phoning her; she decided to give him one more chance to call before losing her patience completely.
But, if he didn’t call tonight—well, he had just better call tonight.
29
“CHERRY. KID. PAL. CAN’T YOU THINK OF ANOTHER P
LACE YOU’D LIKE to go? Maybe Hawaii, or Tahiti? I’ve always wanted to go to Ta—”
“Cooper, why don’t you want to go to Gulf Front? I thought we could kill two birds. We could disappear, and you could introduce me to Penny. You promised her that you’d introduce us, didn’t you?”
“Well, yes, I mean, I did, but—”
“No buts about it. We can leave first thing in the morning. How long of a drive is it?”
Once again resigned to my fate, I flopped dramatically on my bed and said, “Depending on traffic, it’s usually five and a half or six hours. It won’t be too bad of a drive, but I really wish you’d choose some other spot to visit.”
“Oh, come on, now, it’ll be wonderful. I can meet your beloved, see your home, and learn more about you. I think it will be brilliant!”
I wanted to argue, but knew it wouldn’t change her mind. “Okay, I know when I’m whipped.” As I lay on my back, I got an idea, and ran it past her. “I have a plan as to how we can get outta here without any problem. You call Will and get him to bring your old-lady-disappearin’-disguise stuff. I’ll call Neal and get another mode of transportation. If we try to leave in the Bentley, we’ll never get away without being followed.”
She jumped up and said, “Now you’re talking, big boy! I’ll let Will in on our plan. I’ll even get him to bring a disguise for you, too.”
She danced off to the bedroom, and I called Neal on my cell.
A young female voice answered at the Feagin residence. “Hello?”