Be My Forever: The Complete Series Box Set

by Lauren Wood

  I heard some ruckus behind us, people there were making comments and I pushed Sam’s chest away from me. I didn’t see anyone that I knew, but I was embarrassed nonetheless.

  “Let’s go somewhere private Meri. I really think that we need to talk this through. I don’t want to fight with you anymore. I want to get back to what we are good again. I want to get back to when we were in Thailand together.”

  “I can’t…”

  He pulled me to him again and it was clear to me that Sam wasn’t going to take no for an answer. I liked to think that I could say it, but my voice and words failed me. There was only now and Sam’s arms around me.

  When he pulled away the second time, my heart was going about a mile a minute and no matter how badly I knew this was a terrible idea, I moved with him towards the upstairs. I didn’t know what was up there, but I was sure that there was at least one room where we could be together for just a minute without everyone else around, watching us.

  Sam pushed me into the first door to the hallway and it was a large bathroom with a shower.

  “Do you want to take a shower while we get dirty?”

  I was shocked by his words and the fact that he was locking the door behind him. “This really isn’t a good idea Sam.”

  “If I don’t have you soon, I am going to lose my mind, Meri. I have waited for a long time for you to come around and you just aren’t. You have ruined me for anyone else. Why do you insist on pretending that you aren’t as head over heels as I am?”

  Head over heels didn’t start to really explain how I felt. I loved him, but I was afraid of him more than I loved him. I was sure that something was going to happen, something terrible when he found out the truth. I wasn’t ready to tell Sam and this couldn’t happen, because then he would know. Then he would think that I was trying to do this. I don’t really know what I thought, but I knew that I wasn’t ready for this, even if my body was sure that I was.

  “I care for you Sam, but there is no future with us. You know that I am not that experienced with all of this. I want what you can’t provide and every time we are together it reminds me of that. I know you want me Sam and I am flattered, really I am, but I want more.”

  My hands shook as I moved my hair out of my eyes. It had taken everything for me to say that and I wished now that I hadn’t said a word of it out loud. It was what I wanted, more, but just saying it out loud was hard to hear. It sounded desperate and that was exactly how I was feeling. Sam made me feel desperate in every emotion that he gave me.

  “What do you want from me?”

  It was the typical answer to a question that didn’t have a right one. “I don’t want anything from you Sam. Just leave me be and let me just do my job.”

  I moved to the door, dying inside but trying to hold it together long enough to get out of there without breaking down in front of him.

  “I have let you be. Are you happy with how this is going?”

  I turned back to him and I was going to say something, but I didn’t get a chance. He was next to me, kissing me gently as his hand moved my face upwards so that I could not get away. I didn’t want to, I really didn’t. I was filled with such confliction that only Sam and sex had brought into my life. Never had I been so unsure of what I was supposed to do next.

  “You feel so good in my arms Meri. I have missed you so much. I think I am imagining things, but you feel different it has been so long.”

  His hands were moving on my body and my breasts. He made a comment about how they felt bigger and I held my breath, waiting for the other changes to be noticed as well. I had started to notice a couple of months ago, but now it was noticeable for him as well.

  “Meri is there something you aren’t telling me?”

  Sam had moved back and he had a look in his eyes that told me he finally got it. It was scary to think that he finally knew, but there was a weight lifted off of my shoulders. I had worried so much about it and now I wasn’t sure how to feel. He had this look on his face that I couldn’t fathom and I wondered what was going through his mind.

  “I didn’t plan to tell you anything Sam.”

  “You weren’t?”

  I shook my head and moved back towards the door. I wanted to get back downstairs because this privacy was not what I had expected or wanted for that matter.

  “You are pregnant?”

  I shook my head. There was no sense in lying. He was going to find out eventually or he was just going to think that I was getting fat. Either way I didn’t figure that I would be bothered by him too much over it.

  “Yes I am.”

  “And it’s mine?”

  That got a reaction before I was able to temper it. I couldn’t believe that he had just said that to me, but in another way I guess I could. He was with women that were more experienced than I was. I felt like he should have known better though. I was a virgin when we were together the first time. That should have been a clue for him that I wasn’t the type of woman to have multiple men in my life.

  “Yes it is yours Sam.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Because I have been with no one else.” I was letting him get to me, even though I shouldn’t have.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Did you really want to hear something like that?”

  Sam wasn’t sure and I could tell he was working through his own feelings. “Yes, I do. I want to know that I have a child in this world. I don’t have any kids. I have never let that happen before, but with you it was different and so unexpected that I didn’t even think about it.”

  “Well we should have been more careful. But it is too late to get rid of it, so don’t even ask.” I was close to tears just thinking about him saying it. I was sure that was why he didn’t have any kids now. That he had taken care of them all. Sam’s expression told me that it wasn’t the way it was.

  “I would never suggest such a thing. That is my child you are carrying. I never have been much for family, Lord knows that I wasn’t expecting one, but I am happy. It’s about time I start thinking about my legacy and who I am going to leave this all to.”

  He was talking about his lineage and not too much about the baby. I was happy that he wasn’t freaking out. I had a harder time coming to grips with it than he did it seemed and that made me feel a little better. Maybe I should have just come to him when I found out instead of avoiding him like the plaque lately.

  “Well now you know Sam.”

  “Is this why you have been avoiding me?”

  I could have said yes. It was clear that he wanted to think that was the reason, but it was just one in a wave of many. I knew that while he may be happy to have an heir, it didn’t mean that he was going to give me the more that I wanted and dreamed about.

  “It’s part of it. I won’t say that it is the only reason. That would be a lie.”

  “What else?”

  “I love you Sam and I shouldn’t. I think I have loved you since you saved me in Thailand. What am I supposed to do with that? You are a man of many talents and just as many women. I know that I can’t compete, so it was easier to just get out of the race. I figured you would have moved on by now. I am not sure that you haven’t.”

  He sighed and leaned back against the marble sinks. “I haven’t moved on, but I won’t say that it is from a lack of trying. I want to get you out of my head, I really do, but that doesn’t seem to be in the cards. The more I try, there you are again. I don’t want to get over you and now I don’t have to. Now we are going to be together.”

  “Why, because I am pregnant?”

  “Yes.”

  The answer was so simple, but it didn’t seem all that simple to me. What does all of that mean?

  “We are going to be together because I am pregnant?”

  “Yes, we will get married now. We would have before, just not so soon. I can’t have my son being born out of wedlock. I won’t let that happen.”

  It was worse than I thought. “I don’
t want to get married because we forgot to use a condom a couple of times Sam.”

  He was getting frustrated and it made me feel a little better to know that I was not the only one that was feeling that way. Sam pushed off of the sink and moved back to me, pulling me closer to him and kissing me until I couldn’t think straight. “Don’t you get it Meri? I am in love with you. I have been for a while. I want to marry you and now you won’t tell me no. It was meant to be, can’t you see that?”

  His words were what I wanted to hear, I wanted nothing more than to marry Sam. He was everything that I had ever wanted in a man. It was something that I never thought was possible, but now it was. I didn’t know how to feel about it, but I knew that I was getting everything that I wanted.

  My body melded with Sam’s and I didn’t try to stop him when he set me on the edge of the marble and started to kiss me some more. I was in need for his touch, as well as his words and I started to shake. “God Sam, I have missed you so much.”

  Chapter 19

  Sam

  “I don’t see what the big deal is Meri. Just tell me who you want to come and I will have the invitations sent out.”

  Meri was quiet for a time, not like her at all. We were going over wedding arrangements, something that I was more involved with than her. She was almost four months along now and she was getting tired easier. Her last day at work was yesterday and I was happy to have her home with me where we could be together more.

  “It’s not that easy Sam. Why don’t I give you a list later?”

  “The wedding is in two weeks. We need to get these sent out.” I stopped and chuckled.

  “What?”

  “Why am I more worried about this than you are? Just give me a number and I will leave that many open.”

  “Just five or so. No more than that.”

  I stopped when she gave me her number. I had several hundred coming and I didn’t know what to say. It was times like this that I realized I didn’t know everything about my bride to be.

  “Why so few? Don’t you want your family to come?”

  “I don’t have much family. I thought I told you that before. No one that I invite is going to be related to me.”

  This was the first I was hearing of it. “When did you tell me that?”

  “When you asked. It was a while ago. You know that my parents are dead, right?”

  Why didn’t I remember something like that? I remember Ashlyn mentioning that she didn’t have much family, but I hadn’t put the two together. I felt bad for even asking about it now. “Well don’t worry. We are family and I have a huge family that you will have to contend with. It will be a mess for the most part, it always is, but soon enough we will have another addition to ours.”

  “I like the sound of that, but I am not having a brood, two is my limit.”

  I wanted more and I knew that she would be a good mother. When I thought about her not having any parents, I wanted to know more. Did we have a conversation and I was just so love drunk that I don’t remember it?

  “So when did your parents die?”

  “When I was young. I don’t remember either one of them.”

  “So who raised you?”

  She giggled at me and asked me why I had all of these questions all of a sudden. I didn’t know how to answer. I wanted to know everything about her and even now I got that she was still so mysterious to me. It really was a shame.

  “I was raised by the state and several foster families, places like that. I left when I was fifteen and came to the city. I never looked back.”

  I didn’t know what to say, but I wanted to kiss her. She smiled at me and asked what that was for.

  “I am sorry I didn’t know that. I wouldn’t have asked you such stupid questions.”

  “It’s fine, really. It was a long time ago and I don’t know what I am missing. I have great friends that are like family. Ashlyn has been a lifesaver more than once.”

  “She says the same thing about you, though I never have got the full story on that.”

  Meri paused for a moment and then smiled to herself. “She almost got involved with a pimp. I knew the man she was going to meet. It was a chance meeting that I met Ashlyn. She was naïve to city life and I saw something put in her drink. It was their way of getting her under their control. I got her out of there and she stayed with me for a few weeks until she got a job. Then she started to climb the ladders of the rich. I don’t know how she did it, but Ashlyn came from not much of anything like me. I feel like we were meant to meet and I am glad I was able to help her. I never would have imagined that she would come to my rescue in much the same way.”

  I was taken aback by so much of it. For one that Meri would be wise to such a thing or to even imagine Ashlyn almost becoming a prostitute. I am still not sure what she does, but she knows a lot of powerful men. She made introductions for me that I never thought possible. Ashlyn ran on favors and it was hard to even think of her wasting her lobbying skills on something so dark. “I can’t imagine it.”

  “Well this was long before she dressed all fancy. Ashlyn comes from a small town and she has some family, but she rarely sees them. I don’t know what she was doing here to begin with. I think the lights brought her here.”

  “Is that what happened with you?”

  She smiled and shrugged. I pulled her to me, kissing her neck. Every day I was with Meri, I swear I fell more in love with her.

  “Something like that.”

  “Well I am sure glad you came.”

  Our lips met and she pushed me away after a moment. “Me too, but if you don’t give me some space, we are never going to get anywhere with these plans. I still don’t see why we need to do all of this.”

  “Because it is expected. You’re right though about not having much time left. Where were we?”

  She wasn’t thinking about the wedding anymore. As proper as she liked to be about it, the secret really was that Meri wanted sex more than I did. I could see it in her eyes and I for one was thankful for all of the pregnancy hormones coursing through her. It just meant that I got what I wanted a lot more than before. Sometimes I had to pace her to make it through the day without being completely exhausted.

  It didn’t take long for us to get sidetracked and before I knew it, I had Meri underneath me and I was pushing inside of her. She had this look of contentment on her face and it was hard to deny how much I loved to know that I was the reason for it. I had known for some time that I was put on this earth to please her and all of the other women were just practice in the end.

  Chapter 20

  Meri

  “Carol I am so glad that you could make it. I haven’t seen you in a while.” She looked good, but there was still something withdrawn about her.

  “I took some time to just be alone. I needed some time to think after everything.”

  I could see that she still wasn’t the same girl that I had known for years. She was more reserved and I knew that it was because of our time in Thailand. While I was in jail, she was living a far rougher existence and once she had cleaned up from what they gave her, it had brought back memories that should have stayed buried. I wished for her that she would find a way to bury them once again.

  “You look like you are feeling better. How are the dreams?”

  “This is your wedding day Meri. Don’t worry about me. How are you feeling?”

  I smiled at her and gave her a hug. I don’t know what I would have done if something had happened to her. It was iffy when she got back, her mind scrambled and the addiction was rampant, but she really did look better. Her mind seemed clearer if nothing else.

  “I am glad you are here Carol. I didn’t know if you would be or not.”

  “I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Who would have thought that lawyer would be ‘the one’ for you?”

  I still found it hard to believe as well. I never would have thought I would be standing here in this kind of dress, ready to marry the man of my dreams and
practically every other woman’s dreams as well. He was rich, handsome, kind. My husband was the full package and soon we were going to be a family.

  That idea struck me and I felt tears forming in my eyes.

  “Now, you can’t cry. You are going to mess up your makeup.”

  “I can’t help it. I just feel so thankful right now. I don’t know what I would do without you Carol. It was one heck of a way to meet Sam, but I wouldn’t have changed a thing.”

  I stopped, realizing what I was implying without meaning to. I started to apologize.

  Carol waved me off. “I get it. I really do. I know you were trying to keep me away from Rico. It was like you knew.”

  “I didn’t know about that.” My emotions were all over the place and I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t stop the tears that were ruining makeup. All I could do was try to dab at it when Ashlyn came in.

  “What is wrong Meri?” She had concern on her face and I didn’t want to tell her that I was blubbering like an idiot because I was just too filled with emotions to keep them all in. It was ridiculous, it really was.

  “Nothing, I am just really happy.”

  Carol explained that we were talking about Thailand and Ashlyn seemed to realize that it was a good thing she was there.

  “Well I am glad you guys got back safe. I warned you about Sam, Meri, but I never would have thought that the two of you would be getting married. It makes sense now, the two of you, but before I just couldn’t see it.”

  “I still don’t see it Ashlyn. We come from different worlds and I don’t know if it is ever going to work. Maybe I am just fooling myself into thinking that this can ever be more than it is now.”

  Ashlyn just shook her head. “You are minutes away from going down the aisle Meri. This is happening.”