A Nurse in Crisis

by Lilian Darcy

  ‘But, more than that, far more, I was dependent on Alan during the whole of our marriage, you see. And it’s just not a position I want to be in again.’

  She sketched some graphic examples, then went on, ‘I couldn’t do it. For all our sakes.’

  ‘Oh, Aimee!’ he rasped painfully, ‘And you’ve kept all this to yourself?’

  ‘What else could I have done?’ she demanded, her voice high. ‘To talk about it would only have been to open myself up to blandishments from all sides. Sarah and the boys would have wanted to give me the money from the house, and they need it more than I do. Particularly Sarah. She couldn’t go back to work and leave fragile little Bonnie with a stranger for the sake of something as soulless as a mortgage. You would have argued. You’re going to argue, aren’t you? See!’ She shook her head and her hands frantically. ‘Even now…’

  ‘I’m not going to argue,’ he said quietly. ‘At least, not yet. Not before I present you with some facts.’

  ‘Facts? What can facts—?’

  ‘These facts,’ he answered firmly. ‘Firstly, that the money I inherited from Joy’s father has already been made over entirely to Rebecca and Simon. I never had any intention of keeping it for myself. Secondly, that Rebecca’s hostility to you had nothing whatever to do with any concern on her part about you usurping her rightful inheritance. I apologise for my daughter’s misplaced passion…’ he gave a wry smile that made the fine skin at the corners of his eyes fan into the lines of experience she loved ‘…but it comes from the best of intentions. She cares about me, and all she was afraid of was that you’d hurt me, which you did. You have.’ His voice threatened to break. ‘So much.’

  ‘Not more than I’ve hurt myself,’ Aimee whispered. ‘Never think that.’

  This was too painful. She could see the certainty about their future together that burned in him, without yet being able to believe that he could be right.

  He was silent for a long moment. ‘Is it Alan’s ghost that I’m fighting?’ he said finally. ‘Alan’s legacy? Were you very unhappy with him?’

  ‘No,’ she answered decisively. ‘Not unhappy. Just never…’she searched for words ‘…credited with being fully an adult. He was a man of his parents’ generation in many ways, and his parents were strict, set in their views and their ways. He meant well. He cared for me, and I cared for him.’

  ‘Then can Alan be left out of this?’ Marshall asked. ‘Tell me, have you ever seen me treat you as less than an adult? And do you still have something to prove to yourself about it? You certainly don’t have anything to prove to me! Look at the way you’ve handled the changes life has thrown at you over these past few months. The way you’ve set up a new life for yourself in that little flat. The way you responded to Sarah’s need. I want as much as you do to approach our marriage—’

  He broke off at her restive, protesting movement. ‘Our marriage, Aimee,’ he insisted, his hands kneading and caressing hers. ‘If this was a dream or, no, if this was six months ago,’ he corrected himself, ‘before any of these issues arose, isn’t it what you’d have wanted?’

  ‘Yes,’ she admitted. ‘Oh, yes, Marshall!’

  ‘And I want us to approach it as equals as much as you do, but when I count up everything we’d be bringing to it, money is the very last thing on my mind, and if I’d known what was getting in our way, we could have had this conversation three months ago and saved ourselves all of this hurt and doubt! Will you marry me, Aimee Hilliard?’

  His gaze bored into hers and she could sense his impatience, his force of will and need, and also the tiny steel-hard thread of fear in him, still, that all his reassurance and passion hadn’t been enough. For one last moment, she wondered the same thing. Perhaps it hadn’t been.

  Then she thought about what he’d just said—and had her answer at last.

  ‘Don’t wish back the time we’ve just lost,’ she told him heatedly. ‘Don’t! I needed it. I needed the bad news, and the changes, and the task of handling it on my own. Because now, at last, it means I can say yes to you, my dear, dear love. I’m stronger than I was then. I’ve proved something to myself. I have more to give now, and there’s nothing I want more than to give it to you.’

  ‘Then give it to me now, please,’ he whispered urgently against her ear, ‘because I can’t wait for it any longer! Say yes—please!’

  ‘Yes, oh, yes, Marsh, with all my heart!’

  EPILOGUE

  ‘REMIND me once more what it is about women and weddings,’ Marshall commanded his new bride softly as he slid his lips reluctantly from Aimee’s and they both turned to face the modest group of family and friends who’d been invited to witness the simple ceremony.

  He could count at least three streaming female faces among the smiles that met his gaze.

  There was Rebecca, standing beside a grinning Harry, who was holding their three-month-old baby boy, Jack. There was Sarah, also holding her child, a bouncing Bonnie who was now eight months old, growing fast and rid of all external signs of the problems that had clouded her birth and early weeks. She still suffered from reflux, but was feeding completely from the breast and just starting to express a rather late interest in solids. Beside Sarah, Jason looked both happy and embarrassed at his wife’s display of feeling.

  Then there was practice partner Grace Gaines, her arm linked through her husband Marcus’s. Despite Grace’s tears, they looked as if they were reliving their own wedding day, both their faces aglow. Their little Hannah Margaret, who was just two weeks old, was asleep in a baby sling around Marcus’s chest and shoulder.

  Marshall’s son Simon and his girlfriend Julianne had flown from the United States for this occasion, and even Julianne was suspiciously moist around the eyes.

  ‘What is it about men and weddings, I wonder!’ Aimee teased him back. ‘I can see three happily married husbands with their fingers pulling at their shirt collars as if their necks have increased in size quite dramatically over the course of the past hour. What’s that about?’

  ‘Only three happily married husbands?’ Marshall queried, running his own finger around the inside of his collar as he spoke.

  ‘And one newly-wed,’ Aimee amended. ‘Too soon to say if he’s happily married or not.’

  ‘Oh, he’s happy,’ Marshall whispered. ‘He’s practically bursting with it. That’s what accounts for the lump in his throat, you see. And the lump in the throat makes the shirt collar feel tight, and the finger’s an attempt to loosen it. So simple. Whereas the tears…’

  ‘Not simple, perhaps,’ she agreed, ‘but every bit as real.’

  Everyone was moving forward now with congratulations on their lips and hugs at the ready. The June day was turning golden as the sun began its descent behind the trees of Marshall’s and Aimee’s new garden. The early winter weather had been kind to them, providing both sunshine and just the gentle hint of an ocean breeze.

  The ocean was just a few hundred metres away, forming a panoramic backdrop to this outdoor ceremony and to the newly renovated house, which was the reason they’d waited over seven months to make their vows to each other.

  Marshall had retired from his Sydney practice, and together they’d chosen the little town of Milperra, on the coast a few hours south of Sydney, as their new home. The place hadn’t had a doctor in residence for ten years so they’d had to start afresh. They’d found a large, old-fashioned house which they’d divided into two self-contained sections—one for the practice and one for their home.

  It had been hard work. Lots of decisions, lots of poring over plans. Most of the work had been done by professional builders, but they’d made the finishing touches and worked on the garden themselves, and would open for business when they returned from their honeymoon in two weeks’ time.

  Since it would only be a one-doctor practice, Aimee would act as both practice nurse and receptionist, and she’d had to brush up her skills in the latter area. Milperra attracted retired people from Sydney and Canberra, as well as
younger people interested in a slower lifestyle, and they’d already received numerous interested enquiries about when they’d be taking on patients.

  Marshall’s big house in Sydney had been sold, and the changes and decisions they’d made together had already set up a strong foundation of equality in their relationship, taking away Aimee’s last lingering doubts about the twin issues of money and independence.

  Rebecca was the first to reach the newly-weds, with tears still sparkling in her eyes and a smile almost as wide as the Pacific Ocean lighting up her face. ‘I’m so thrilled and happy for you both,’ she whispered to Aimee as they held each other in a warm embrace. ‘I’ve never seen Dad look so happy. Thank you for lighting that glow inside him, Aimee.’

  Then she turned to her father to hug him even harder, and it was Sarah’s turn to hug her mother.

  ‘You look wonderful, Mum,’ she said, enfolding her with enthusiastic arms. ‘And you spoke so clearly and steadily. Do you remember how I fluffed my lines?’

  ‘How could I forget when you obsessed about it for at least a month afterwards?’ Aimee teased.

  ‘Seriously, though…’

  ‘Seriously, I’m too happy and too certain about this to be nervous.’

  ‘I know, and I’m so proud of you, Mum. You deserve this, and I’m getting a sister at last, and a whole family of doctor in-laws, and a playmate for Bonnie when Rebecca’s baby is older.’ She dabbed at her eyes once more, and Marshall and Aimee shared a private smile.

  A few moments later he drew her aside, under cover of the happy chatter that had begun. Sarah was introducing herself to Julianne. Grace and Marcus were talking to Jason about Bonnie. Simon and William seemed to have a lot in common—including a marked similarity in appearance between Simon’s Julianne and William’s Emily—and Harry and Thomas were apparently enthusing to each other about snakes.

  ‘You implied to me more than once,’ Marshall reminded Aimee softly, ‘that one of the impossible things about love at our age was the number of people whose needs had to be considered. Well, they’re all here today, and by the looks of them we could have done this for their sakes alone.’

  She laughed and conceded his point with a nod. ‘We could. We didn’t, though,’ she said. ‘In the end, after all my doubts, we did it for us, and that was all the reason I needed.’

  Marshall didn’t trouble to express his agreement in words. Instead, he said it with the light of love in his eyes, and with his kiss, the first of many, as man and wife, in years to come.

  ISBN: 978-1-4603-5645-6

  A NURSE IN CRISIS

  First North American Publication 2001

  Copyright © 2001 by Lilian Darcy

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