by Remy Blake
Exiting the front door, I jog down the stairs, coming to an abrupt halt when I see Uncle Ted leaning against the passenger side of his car. I smile through my disappointment. It’s not that I’m not happy to see him. After our shared car ride the other morning, I think we’re in a great place but I was supposed to ride with Penelope back to her house. I walk over to him. “Hey, how was your weekend?”
“It was exactly what I expected it to be.” He seems so serious. Maybe he’s tired.
“Are you on your way home?” I ask.
“No, we’re on our way home,” he replies.
“I’m not sure what you mean. Do you want me to come back to the house and help you with something?”
“Is there a reason why you need to be out?” he questions.
“No. Let’s get going.”
He moves around his car and slips into the driver’s seat. I throw a final longing-filled glance across the street at Penelope’s store and climb inside the car. Fuck. Ideally, this is the point where I should tell him I’ve got plans with Penelope, but I can’t. Once he knows we’re involved, he’ll shut down any chance of us being together. It doesn’t matter that I’m an adult. I’m staying under his roof and paying him back for his help.
As much as I’d like to put my foot down, I can’t just walk away from my obligation. If I did, I’d be no better than I was before I arrived. I’m working on becoming a better person, not just for me but for my family. And now Penelope is part of that equation too. I don’t want to do anything that will disappoint her.
I type out a text to Penelope.
Me: Hey, my uncle showed up at the station and needed me to go home with him. Not sure why, but I’ll fill you in as soon as I know.
My phone vibrates with her reply.
Penelope: No worries. I’m sorry I won’t get to see you, but I’ll just make up for it tomorrow. xo
I smile before typing my reply.
Me: I’m going to hold you to it—literally.
Penelope: Ha ha. That better be a promise.
Me: Oh, it is.
“Who are you texting that has you so happy? Is there a girl I should know about?” Uncle Ted asks, making me aware that I’ve completely forgotten I’m in the car with him. Penelope has the ability to take my focus from everything but her. But I guess that’s what being in love is all about. Damn. I finally admit the depth of my feelings to myself and I’m in the car with my uncle of all places.
“No, there’s no girl,” I reply. Actually, she’s a beautiful woman.
“Are you sure? I recognize that look. I’ve seen it on Leon’s face enough times.” Whatever my expression showed, comparing it to Leon’s meaningless and frequent crushes is an insult. Obviously I can’t tell uncle Ted this.
“Yeah, I’m sure. It’s a female friend from back home. We’re not romantically interested in each other.”
“You may find once you’re home that things have changed. When you spend time apart, feelings can shift. Sometimes it’s for the better and sometimes it’s for the worse.”
I’m not sure what he’s getting at, but since it’s Penelope I’ve been sharing texts with, it’s irrelevant.
The ride home is quick, and once we’re inside the house, I expect him to ask me for help with something.
“Hand me your phone,” he orders.
“What?” I ask, certain I’ve misheard.
“Hand your phone to me, now.” This time he’s louder and more commanding.
“No.” I shake my head. “Why do you want my phone?”
“Your parents asked me to take it from you since they’re the ones footing the bill.”
Where is this coming from? Why are they asking for my phone when I’ve been here for over a month? It makes no sense.
“I’m waiting,” he reminds me, his hand extended.
Fuck me. I place my phone in his palm and frown when he drops it in the pocket on his suit pants.
“When can I have that back?” I ask.
“That’s up to your parents. I need you to go pack up your things. They want you home for a few days.” His words stir up panic inside me.
“Did something happen to one of them? Are they sick or hurt?”
“No, they’re fine. Go get your stuff and I’ll be driving you home tonight.”
“But you must be exhausted after your trip.” I’m desperate to delay my leaving.
“I feel surprisingly awake.” He glances at the platinum watch on his wrist. “We’re leaving in ten minutes. Your mom said to bring everything home, so she can make sure you have everything you need for school.”
“That doesn’t make sense.”
“She mentioned you might not need as much stuff here since the summer is half over.”
“Yeah, that makes sense. I brought a bunch of extra shit.”
“Okay, get going. We need to hit the road.”
“Why can’t we wait until tomorrow?” I ask.
“Because your parents asked me to bring you tonight.”
I rake a hand through my hair, my frustration evident before I climb the stairs. My clothes and everything else I brought gets shoved into my duffel bags. Taking a final glance around the room, I make sure I’m not forgetting anything. I never thought I’d be sad to leave here, but I am. Luckily, I’ll be returning in a few days.
I hope Penelope won’t worry when she doesn’t hear from me tonight. With any luck, once I’m home, I can talk my parents into letting me have my phone back.
Uncle Ted stays quiet for the first half of the trip, allowing me to drift off to sleep. When I wake and see where I am, I realize this wasn’t a bad dream after all. Shit.
“How long have you and Penelope been seeing one another?” My head snaps toward uncle Ted. “You didn’t think anyone would find out?” he asks, and I stay silent. “You can admit what was going on. I know. Others know too. Even your parents.”
“Is that the real reason you’re bringing me home?”
“Yes. Your parents are very concerned with your situation and wanted you removed from it as soon as possible.” My heart races as the realization of what’s really happening hits.
“It’s not a situation.”
“What do you think it is?”
“A relationship.”
He barks out a laugh. “You think a woman like Penelope would fall for someone like you?” he scoffs.
“I don’t just think it, I know she did.”
“Don’t be so naive, Cord. Penelope is a successful businesswoman. Her tastes are better suited to someone older and equally successful.”
“Someone like you, you mean?” I chuckle. “Yeah, too bad she friend zoned you. I guess you don’t know her as well as you seem to think you do. It seems she prefers the younger Renner.”
“For the time being,” he goads.
“Stay the fuck away from her,” I order, my anger stirring.
“She’ll need a man’s shoulder to cry on. I can be that for her. It won’t take long for her to forget about you. Summer flings always end.”
“We weren’t a fling,” I grit out.
“Are you sure about that?” he taunts.
“I’m done talking about this with you.” Leaning my temple against the glass, I close my eyes and do my best to calm my temper. I want to punch out the window beneath my head. Drawing up Penelope’s face in my mind, I recall the special way she has of looking at me. It’s like she notices parts of me no one else does. Even if she’s not ready to reveal her feelings, she still makes me feel loved.
PENELOPE
He’s gone? He’s gone? He’s gone.
I don’t know why I keep questioning it when it’s actual fact. It’s been a full week, and I need to start coming to terms with the fact that he’s no longer here.
When he didn’t text back to tell me why Ted picked him up, my chest tightened in worry. When I stopped by the station and asked Paul if he’d shown up, he told me Ted had advised him that Cord was needed back at home for a family emergency. At that, I just kn
ew in my gut him leaving had nothing to do with his family needing him, and everything to do with our relationship.
Every morning, I keep telling myself I can do this, that I need to forget he ever existed and go back to being the recently divorced woman who is all about finding her independence. But by the time I drag myself to bed, alone, every night, I realize I’m nothing more than a woman who is destined to always be consumed by feelings of loss, hopelessness, and heartache.
Frustrated, I pace up and down the shop, trying to make sense of how we went from having a perfect weekend to me nursing a broken heart over my twenty-one-year-old fuck buddy.
Even the errant thought makes me flinch. He is so much more than a fuck buddy, and this emptiness in my chest only solidifies it.
It wasn’t supposed to be this way. I wasn’t supposed to want him for more than a fling, and it wasn’t supposed to hurt this much to know he’s gone.
I call his cell again, feeling an overwhelming sense of craziness trying to get in touch with him, but the call doesn’t go through.
It never goes through.
There’s only one person I know who will give me the answers I need, and yet I still can’t face him.
It’s that stupid voice inside my head that keeps telling me this meant more to me than Cord. That stupid voice in my head that reminds me that I repeatedly told him it wouldn’t amount to anything because he was leaving. So he did exactly what I told him to do and left.
But a month early?
There’s something at the pit of my stomach that doesn’t sit right. He may have always been leaving, but there was no reason he would need to cut contact. Not so abruptly. Not so harshly.
Even a “break-up” message over text would’ve sufficed at a time like this. But this silence is completely uncharacteristic. And even after only knowing him for a month, I’m absolutely certain of that.
My phone rings and I reluctantly pick it up.
“Hey.”
“Are we still moping?” Delia asks.
I try to perk up. I try not to fall into the same bad habits I fell into when Eric and I were having trouble. Because I don’t want to push her away this time, nor do I want to resurrect and drown in old feelings of shame and embarrassment.
I was with a guy and it didn’t work out. It’s that simple. At least it feels like it should be that simple.
“No,” I supply through a weak smile. “I’m much better this week.”
“You’re the worst liar, Pen.”
“I’m not lying,” I argue. “This is nothing like what happened between Eric and me.”
“Just because it’s not the same doesn’t mean it hurts any less.”
Tears well in my eyes at her empathy. “I feel like I’m going crazy,” I whisper. “I should’ve never jumped into something so soon.”
“How were you supposed to know you were going to fall in love with the guy?”
Fall in love? Is that what this is? Did I fall in love with Cord?
“Pen.” The tone in Delia’s voice changes. She’s more serious now, the sympathy nowhere to be found.
“Yeah?”
“Why won’t you go and ask Ted what happened?”
It’s a valid question. Logical even.
“I’m scared,” I confess.
“Of Ted?” she asks, her voice rising in concern
“No. Not of him specifically. But, I just…”
“You just?”
“I should’ve known he would find out,” I say, steering the conversation in an opposite direction. “He showed up at the shop knowing to look for Cord there. It was stupid to think we could keep it a secret here or that people wouldn’t notice.”
“Didn’t Ted ask you to keep an eye on Cord anyway?” she asks, trying to untangle the mess that is my train of thought.
“I’m sure he meant in more of a friend type of way. An older sister, maybe?”
“Well, that assumption is on him. His problem. Not yours.”
“So you don’t think I did the wrong thing? Took advantage of the situation? Betrayed Ted’s trust?”
“Oh my god,” she gasps. “Is that what this is? The reason you’re avoiding Ted?”
“We were friends, Delia,” I say solemnly. “He clearly doesn’t think too much of me now.”
“Penelope,” she reprimands. “That is not how this is going to go. You will not get your heart broken and then concern yourself with the thoughts and feelings of those who caused you pain.”
She’s right. I know she’s right. If Ted is the reason all this went down, then he wasn’t the friend I thought he was anyway. Who cares what he thinks of me? His opinion does not outweigh my happiness.
“You’re right. You’re absolutely right,” I say to Delia. “I’m going to see Ted,” I exclaim. “I’m going to get to the bottom of this shit. Because if Cord wants us broken up, then I’m going to make him say it to my face.”
Delia squeals in my ear. “Rip that motherfucker a new asshole, Pen Pen,” she cheers. “He fucking deserves it.”
I don’t know if she means Cord or Ted, but I guess in the right context either could work.
“Thank you,” I say to my best friend. “Thank you for being you.”
“I love you, Pen.”
“I love you too.”
Hoping out of my car, I walk straight into Ted’s office and smile at Janine, who is extremely confused to see me. Or maybe she’s just playing dumb. Considering the whole town's talking about Cord and me, I wouldn’t be surprised if she expected me to show up at some point.
“How can I help you today, Penelope?” Janine greets politely.
“Is Ted in?” I ask a little too sweetly. “I wasn’t able to get an appointment, but I really need to see him.”
Before she has a chance to speak to him, his office door is already opening. He steps out with a client of his, but his eyes land on me almost immediately.
He peruses my body, something I very much anticipated when I dressed up to kill.
Reluctantly, he drags his gaze away from me and says his goodbyes to the older man.
I keep my stance casual and my facial expression neutral as I wait. When Ted eventually, wordlessly guides me into his office and closes the door, I pounce.
“Tell me what happened.” I demand.
He slowly turns to face me, acting cool and calm, but the slight clenching of his jaw gives his true feelings away.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I wasn’t aware you and I had an appointment.”
“Don’t play dumb, Ted. Tell me about Cord. Tell me why he left.”
“He didn’t tell you? I would assume if you two were in an actual relationship, then he would’ve told you,” he says sarcastically.
“This isn’t funny, Ted,” I say, feeling disheartened. “I need to speak to Cord.”
As if he’s ignoring my requests, he continues to walk inside the office and doesn’t stop till he’s seated at his desk.
“You were supposed to watch out for him,” he says cooly. “You weren’t supposed to fuck him.”
I straighten my spine and let his hostility wash over me. Knowing he was going to say this versus actually hearing it changes my whole demeanor. Because in my mind, it would be said with disgust and repulsion, but here, in this office, the only thing I can hear is his jealousy.
“Mad it wasn’t you, Ted? Did I bruise your ego a little, so you thought you’d hurt me back?” He watches me as I walk toward him, his face telling me nothing. In a few strides I’m at his desk and take the seat in the leather chair across from him. “I thought we were friends,” I say softly.
“I thought you didn’t want to date after the divorce,” he counters. “But I guess you really didn’t want to date me.”
“It wasn’t personal, Ted,” I reassure him, hoping this softer tone between us gives me the answers I need to get to speak to Cord. “I didn’t plan on being with or falling for anyone.”
“You love him?” he asks quickly.
&nb
sp; “I think so,” I answer honestly. “I haven’t known him for long, but he’s changed me, Ted, and I won’t walk away from that. And if I have to explain it to you and everybody else who is so quick to judge us, then that’s what I’m going to do.”
“And what if his parents don’t want you around him?” he asks, hoping to deter me.
“Well, I guess they’re going to have to decide which outcome they can live with more. Hating me or Cord hating them.”
“I wouldn’t hold your breath, princess,” he says condescendingly. “That boy is used to a life of privilege that both you and your magical pussy won’t be able to keep up with.”
I ignore his words, knowing he’s just trying to make it sting. Trying to goad me.
“Tell me how to reach him, Ted,” I ask for the last time
“You’re going to regret this,” he warns. “He’s going to let you down.”
I shake my head at him vehemently, hating the disregard he has for Cord’s feelings and his inability to see that the only person who can’t be trusted in this situation is him. He played Cord’s parents, knowing if he made our relationship out to sound horrible they would side with him and then bring him home. And then he’d be here to swoop in and pick up the pieces of what’s left of me.
“For the record, Ted,” I say, preparing to add insult to injury. “Even without Cord in the picture, I wouldn't pick you.”
Even though his face is beet red and his nostrils are flaring, he grabs the closest legal pad and scribbles on it. He tears off the paper and hands it to me. It’s got an address and a number on it.
Yes.
My body buzzes in elation. I’m finally going to be able to see Cord.
I shove the paper in my bag, just as he says, “It’s okay, I don’t want his sloppy seconds now anyway.”
Choosing to ignore the bait, I hold Ted’s stare and exhale loudly. He doesn’t deserve my niceties, and I refuse to stoop his level.
I am better than him.
Cord is better than him.
“Thank you, Ted.” Confusion mars his features, and just like the lawyer he is, I see the way he’s itching for my comeback. Itching for that fight. I offer him a soft smile instead. “I’ll tell your family you said hi.”