by Remy Blake
CORD
It’s been days since arriving back home, and my parents and I have done a great job at ignoring one another. There seems to be so much to talk about, but I can’t even stand to look at either of them. I just need to speak to Penelope.
Knowing my phone has to be here somewhere, I drag myself out of my bedroom and start to look for it in all my parents favorite hiding places.
When the only place that’s left is my dad’s office, I hold my breath and take the plunge.
The room is nothing but a mash-up of my father’s favorite things. Nothing about the way the items are displayed makes sense to anyone but him. My father loves to make sure that his collections are visible for all to see, and this place is his area to do so.
I head to his desk and begin to rummage through his drawers. By the time I’m through, the only option I have left is to try and crack the code to his safe. I feel like I’m in a movie, because my mind is yet to fully comprehend why they care about me and Penelope. Apart from sending me to Merlot in the first place, this is the only other time my parents have exerted their authority and it doesn’t even make sense. What’s worse is their “punishment” and decision to take away all the technology in the house seems like the type of punishment you’d give a sixteen-year-old kid, not a grown twenty-one-year-old.
Every combination falls short, and I’m just about to give up when I hear a soft click. I pull open the heavy door and see my phone and laptop sitting on the top shelf. Quickly, I pull them out, place them on my father’s desk and fire them both up.
My hands are shaky as I type in passwords and wait for my cell to power up. The sliver of excitement coursing through me stills when I see a set up screen on both of my devices.
“We wiped them clean.” My father’s voice startles me, but it’s the words that come out of his mouth that crush me.
I turn to look at him while that little voice in my head tells me this isn’t the end of the world, I will eventually get back to her. No matter how many roadblocks they want to throw my way.
“What the hell were you thinking?” Before I can answer, he cuts me off. “I know, you weren’t thinking. You never do.” He shakes his head, disgusted with me.
“I love her,” I confess to him, hating that it isn’t Penelope who’s hearing me say it for the first time. “This isn’t some meaningless fling.”
As if she’d been eavesdropping outside, my mom comes in with a sympathetic look on her face. “Honey, she’s too old to be involved with. You’re just starting your life, and she’s already been divorced once. She’s probably latched herself on to you because you have money and her biological clock is ticking.”
“Mom, none of that is even close to being the truth. The age difference doesn’t matter, not when you love someone. And if she wants to have kids with me, then I’ll give her a whole football team.”
“Honey.” She shakes her head in pity. “Believe me, the age difference does matter. It will become a problem later on.”
“Have you had a relationship with a younger man?” I ask.
She looks shocked. “No. Of course not.”
“Then why should I believe you when you have no experience in this matter?”
“It doesn’t matter anyway,” my dad barks, finally joining in on the conversation. “You’re here and she’s there. And you’ll continue to abide by our rules until you return to school. That includes no phone and internet.”
“I’m twenty-one,” I protest. “And I need to call her.”
“While you’re under our roof, you’ll respect our goddamn wishes,” he shouts. Clenching my fists, I step forward until we’re chest to chest. “You better check yourself, son, or you’ll be out on your ass before you know what hit you,” he tells me.
The urge to hit him is so powerful, I have to turn and walk away. This is my father, and no matter how angry I am, I won’t strike him. I keep moving until I reach my room and throw myself down on the bed. Thoughts of Penelope and a plan to get to her consume my thoughts. What is she thinking? How angry is she that I Ieft without saying goodbye? Does she know this wasn’t by choice? Has she tried to contact me? Does she know I love her?
My eyes sting with tears and I scrub my hands up and down my face. I won’t allow myself to cry. Instead, I turn my thoughts to what I need to do before I start back at college.
“I found a job,” I inform my parents at dinner a week later. It’s been almost two weeks since I was dragged away from Merlot, and this is how every exchange between me and my parents has been.
There’s little to no emotion. No love lost, no love gained. I might as well be asking for the bowl of corn to be passed to me.
“Doing what?” my mom asks.
“Working security at the hospital.”
“How did you get that job?” Dad asks.
“One of my friend’s uncles is the head of security there. I guess they’re short staffed with so many people taking summer vacations. My buddy and I are both going to work there for the next couple of weeks.”
“I’m not sure you should be working. I don’t need you out all hours of the night.”
No, they both want me to be like a prisoner here, and I’ve been letting them get away with it while I bide my time and slowly set my plan into motion.
The only problem is, I need money. I need money for a car, I need money to get away from them. And I need it soon. I won’t shy away from hard work, I never have.
And for Penelope, I’ll do just about anything.
“I’ll be home whenever I don’t have a shift,”
“I want to see your schedule ahead of time. No springing shifts on us last minute,” Dad tells me.
“Okay. That shouldn’t be a problem.” Ducking my head, I shove a forkful of mashed potatoes into my mouth to hide my smile. I’m feeling hopeful for the first time since I left Merlot.
I’m just about to fall asleep on the couch when the doorbell rings. Without my cell nearby, I assume it’s about eight-thirty at night, which is somewhat late for unexpected visitors at my parents’ place.
At first, I think it’s my parents, since they went to run a quick errand after dinner, but that’s stupid because they have a key.
It rings again, and I lazily rise up off the couch and, without urgency, walk to the door.
Opening it with no expectations, I’m absolutely stunned to see a nervous looking Penelope on the other side.
PENELOPE
When I decided to make the long drive to see Cord, I told myself to lower my expectations and pretty much prepare for the worst. I told myself he might not want me, and he might’ve not missed me at all.
But I knew I needed to see him. I needed to know the decisions made to end us were his. I needed to hear it from the horse's mouth, no matter how much that was going to hurt.
“Penelope.” His eyes are wide with shock, almost like the idea of me being at his house never even occurred to him. “What are you doing here?”
I nervously wring my hands together. “Should I not be here?”
My question seems to shake him out of his stupor and he rushes at me, his hands grabbing my face, his mouth descending on mine.
The tension that I’ve been holding for the last two weeks disintegrates into dust when his lips touch mine. It’s like the fog has been lifted and the blanket of doubt and insecurities can finally be tucked away.
“I can’t believe you’re actually here,” he murmurs. “At my house.”
Unable to keep his hands off me, he continues to kiss and touch me in the doorway.
Eventually, we move inside, our mouths still meshed together. He guides us down a long hallway and then we have to part to make it up the stairs. When we’re in his bedroom, his lips are back on mine, as if he needs to kiss me to breathe.
I don’t want him to stop. Not now. Not ever. But this is his parents’ house, and from what I’ve gathered, I’m almost certain they will not be pleased with my arrival.
Pushing at his chest
, I pull away from him reluctantly.
“What’s wrong?” He frowns.
“I don’t want to get carried away in your parents’ house,” I tell him. “And we need to talk.”
“What’s there to talk about?” His words surprise me.
“How about why you left? If you’re coming back? What that means for us?” I slap a hand across my mouth, because I told myself no expectations and this is not that. “I’m sorry,” I say sheepishly.
He chuckles and then wraps his arms around me, his chin resting on my head. “I thought it would be ages before I would get to hold you again,” he says.
I squeeze him tighter, not wanting to let him go. Letting myself finally feel just how much I missed him.
“I missed you,” I whisper into his chest. “I missed you so much.”
“Come lie down with me,” he suggests.
I look up at him. “No sex in your parents’ house.”
He laughs, and the sound warms me from the inside out. “No sex in my parents’ house,” he assures me.
Tangled up in one another, Cord tells me what happened the night Ted picked him up.
How angry he was and how angry his parents were.
“I honestly didn’t see it coming,” he admits. “I know they have a problem with almost everything I do, but this was a whole other side of them I’d never seen. They wiped my cell. They wiped my laptop. It was completely unnecessary.”
“I guess that explains why I couldn’t get in touch with you and why you never called.”
He rests a palm on my cheek, his thumb brushing my cheekbone. “In the first few days I was irate, trying to get intouch with you. But they watched me like a hawk. Like I was in danger of hurting them or myself. And then when I found out they tried to erase every single last remnant of you, I just knew I had to move my focus to something else.”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“I was going crazy not being able to talk to you,” he explains. “But trying to get them to see reason was useless, and I realized I just needed to get back to you as quickly as possible and the rest of it would fall into place.”
A lone tear falls out of the corner of my eye. “You’ve always been so sure about us.”
He wipes another stray tear. “I’ll be sure enough for the both of us for as long as I need to be.”
“What were you going to do when you got back to me?”
His eyes soften, and for the first time ever, Cord Renner looks a little shy. “I was going to tell you I love you.”
I open my mouth to say something, but he puts a finger on my lips, silencing me. “Let me finish.” I watch his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he tries to compose himself. “I was going to tell you that I love you. That I’m in love with you. I was going to thank you for seeing me for the man I am and the man I want to be and not judging me for all my past mistakes. And I was going to see if your bed needed warming at night, because I’m going to need a place to live when I move back to Merlot with you.”
My infrequent tears now turn into two consistent streams running down my face. He’s so open with his feelings. Honest and brave, and I want to be that with him too.
“What about your life here?” I ask.
“You’re not here,” he answers matter-of-factly. “I don’t want to be anywhere you’re not.”
Struggling to hold the words inside any longer, I blurt the three words out in a wonderful sigh of relief. “I love you, Cord Renner.”
He smiles down at me and tilts his head before kissing me. “I love you too.”
Despite my reservations about sex in his parents’ house, it isn’t enough to deter me from kissing him the way I want to. It isn’t enough to stop me from pouring my heart into his, or from tasting all the promises we will make to one another or the possibilities our life together will have. We kiss away the sadness and welcome our new beginnings with every stroke of our tongues.
I know this is the start of what will be an uneasy road for Cord. Moving his whole life. Choosing a life with me at the cost of potentially losing his family. It’s a bittersweet happy ever after, but he’s everything I didn’t know I wanted, and everything I don’t want to live without.
“We’ll make it work,” he whispers into my mouth. “I promise.”
FIVE YEARS LATER
CORD
I often wondered if this day would ever come, and now that it’s here, it seems surreal. I just graduated from the Police Academy and I am officially a member of the Merlot Police force. I have everything I’ve ever wanted. I’m not sure how I got so lucky, but I’m going to spend every single day being grateful for my many blessings. Especially the two beauties walking toward me now.
Catching Penelope’s eye, I smile. My eighteen-month-old daughter, Cordelia—yes she’s named after me and Penelope’s best friend Delia—reaches for me.
“Da Da up.” I steal a quick kiss from Penelope before taking Cordelia from her.
Who can resist so much cuteness? Definitely not me. I’m a big softie when it comes to her. I know I need to curb my tendency to give her whatever she wants, but it’s so damn hard. When she smiles and looks up at me with green eyes so much like my own, my chest aches from the abundance of love I feel for her.
Brushing her black curls back from her eyes, I press a kiss to her forehead.
“Tell Daddy congratulations,” Penelope says.
“Grat uns, Da Da.”
“Thank you, my little baby girl.”
“Congratulations, Cord. I’m so proud of you,” Penelope says. I can see the pride shining in her eyes. We’ve both been waiting for this day to come. It took longer than I would’ve liked, but even with the extra steps along the path, I still got here.
“Cord, I’m so proud of you.” My mom hurries over to hug me. She kisses Cordelia’s pink cheek. “Grammy loves you.”
My dad steps in and hooks his arms around his granddaughter, forcing me to hand her over. “Give me my girl.” He makes silly faces at her and she giggles. He pats me on the back. “Congratulations, son. You did great. I’m proud of you.”
“Thank you, Dad. That means a lot.” His long awaited words choke me up. It took us until Cordelia was born for my dad to really understand how much Penelope and I love one another and how committed to our relationship we are.
When we got pregnant, my parents were upset because we weren’t married and didn’t have plans to be any time soon. But Penelope and I have been together for over five years now. We’re as good as married as far we’re concerned. I’d marry her tomorrow if she was ready, but after her first marriage ended in divorce, she wanted to try the untraditional route.
And how could I argue with her? After all, our relationship is considered untraditional by most people. I seem to have a history of doing things differently. I used to wonder what was wrong with me, why I couldn’t be like everyone else. But now I accept all the craziness in my past and I’m thankful I got it out of my system.
Another bonus to my dark past, Cordelia won’t get away with anything when she’s a teenager.
“Cord.” Uncle Ted calls my name. He pulls me in for a back-slapping hug. He’s another family member who finally accepted that Penelope and I are meant to be together. Not that she or I were particularly concerned if he or other people weren’t accepting of us. We knew early on that our love is the kind that endures forever. If others didn’t agree, we figured they’d learn for themselves over time.
“Uncle Ted, it’s great to see you.”
“Congratulations. You deserve this.”
“Thank you. It means a lot that you think so.” I glance around, searching for my cousin. “Where’s Leon?”
“He’s busy talking with all the single women.”
I jab his arm with the point of my elbow. “Like father, like son.”
He grins. “I feel like I should be thanking you for steering him in the right direction. I never imagined he’d want to be a police officer.”
“No need t
o thank me. Besides, I think it’s awesome we’re starting our careers together. Maybe we’ll even end up as partners someday.”
“Oh, Jesus. This town isn’t ready for that,” he says. “At least wait until I retire and move away.”
“I don’t know. It might be exactly what this town needs. And who are you kidding? You’re not going anywhere.”
“I can dream can’t I?” Uncle Ted jokes.
“Nothing wrong with dreaming big. It didn’t hurt me any.” I look over at Penelope and find her watching me with appraising eyes. “If you’ll excuse me, Uncle Ted. I need to catch up with Penelope.”
“Is that what you call it?” He winks.
“Something like that,” I say before walking away.
Penelope’s interest grows as I approach, her gaze running over me from head to toe and back up again.
Stopping when we’re toe-to-toe, I lean down and whisper in her ear, “It’s the uniform isn’t it?” Straightening up to my full height, I puff my chest out and hold still for her to objectify.
“It’s you, but the uniform isn’t hurting any.”
“What do you say we get out of here and head home. It’ll be time for Cordelia to go to sleep and it’ll be time for us to go to bed.” I wink.
“I think it’s a great idea, but it means prying Cordelia from your dad’s arms.”
“Leave that to me.”
When we arrived at our home, the same split level Penelope had just moved into when we met, she told me to leave my uniform on. I guess she really does like it.
We fed Cordelia her dinner, changed her into her pajamas, and tucked her into bed. Penelope is lingering outside her room to make sure she’s going to sleep. She recently climbed out of her crib for the first time and now every night, we wait for it to happen again.
I’m sitting on the end of the mattress in our room when Penelope walks in. She smiles. “She went out like a little angel.”
“She’ll save the climbing shenanigans for when we’re asleep,” I say.