“I was picking herbs with Rose before I got lost,” I tried to make my voice sound as cool and unaffected as possible, brushing my hair to the side in an effort to cover my face and give myself a little more time to process the situation. The moon shone brightly now. The blackened forest of my nightmare became an enchanted, dreamlike jungle of soft blues as silvery light filtered down through the canopy of tree limbs overhead.
“Because they’re stronger in the moonlight?” He asked with a teasing laugh and half-cocked eyebrows.
“Yeah.” I stuck my chin into the air defensively at his taunting.
“You weren’t sneaking off to meet Lucas in the woods?” He tucked his head down so I had no choice but to look at him.
“No, he was hiking the cliffs with some of his friends. I just thought…”
“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you,” he said before I finished talking. He grabbed my hand and began leading me through the woods. I followed obediently along behind him. What choice did I have?
“So are you two a thing now?” He asked. My stomach fluttered when I thought I heard a sarcastic undertone of jealousy he was trying to hide in the darkness.
“No,” I said, my voice soft as I struggled to keep pace with his sweeping stride. A well-worn path lay before us, like curling steam from a hot cup of tea, it wound its way through the woods. The moonlit night really was beautiful, but all I could focus on was the strong grip of Dayne’s hand holding mine.
“Good,” his voice was harsh. Too harsh for such an innocent answer, almost confirming the jealousy I suspected earlier.
“Why is that good? Lucas is a nice guy,” I said, confused by the obvious contempt in Dayne’s voice. His hand reached out to steady me as my foot slipped on a small patch of slick moss.
“Yeah, and he’s already been a nice guy with every girl in town.” He stepped over a log and held out his hand to help me over it laughing as we progressed, like he was letting me in on some joke the entire world knew. He was making me feel stupid, and I felt my temper start to flare.
How dare he say something like that? I thought as the same fire began to burn in me I had felt the night I danced with him. Dayne’s reputation as a heartbreaker was far worse around town than any other guy, especially Lucas.
At some point, Dayne had strung along the heart of every girl around—each of them hoping that they would finally be “the one,” finally be worthy enough to tie him down. Lucas didn’t play with hearts like that. Dayne was wrong about him.
“Well, at least I know where I stand with him,” I said fiercely, hoping my words were stinging him somewhere that hurt. I was sick of always feeling like the ugly little sister around Dayne. In the silence that followed, Dayne stepped on a twig that snapped so loudly it sent a sleeping covey of quail chattering into the night sky. I jumped behind him, not knowing what the racket was at first. He looked over his shoulder at me before he continued on.
“And where is that exactly? From all I’ve seen, he just stares at you like a piece of meat.” I was shocked that Dayne paid enough attention to Lucas and me to have formed his own opinion. But the truth was I didn’t really know where I stood with Lucas. We were flirting, but so far that was it.
“That’s none of your business,” I snapped quickly to cover my tracks.
“Whatever, Lucas wouldn’t have a clue what to do with a girl like you,” Dayne said calmly as he held a branch to the side for me to step under.
“What is that supposed to mean?” I asked bending under the branch and then turning to face him. I stopped in my tracks and put my hands on my hips defiantly, daring Dayne to say what he meant by a “girl like me.”
“I’m just saying he’s not what you think he is. He’s going to break your heart. He’s nothing but a flirt.” I could tell Dayne found my anger amusing and was trying not to laugh at me by the way he spoke in interrupted bursts. His laughter made me even more furious. My cheeks blushed hot in the cool night air as he stepped around me, knocking my shoulder back as he passed me on the narrow trail.
“Oh, and you aren’t? Everyone in Clonlea talks about you.” The shrillness of my voice echoed in the treetops as I fought him with the only weapons I had—the nasty, and clearly untrue, rumors April had told me the first day we met. I was so unnerved at this point that I didn’t really think about what I was saying. He stepped around a mud puddle shining brightly along the path and waited patiently as I followed his lead.
“I’m sure they do,” he said, his voice suddenly sober. I was surprised that he actually sounded a little hurt by my callous remark. “But I would never lead a girl on like he does.” The laughter was gone from his voice. He turned away from me and continued walking in the night. I stumbled along behind him, grabbing onto branches to steady myself as we went.
“What about Tara?” I accused vehemently, enjoying the focus of our conversation moving away from me.
“What about her?” He asked, glancing back at me with the cool blue moon shine on his face. “I have never uttered one word of encouragement to her. I don’t like how she follows me around, but what can I do about it without being a total jerk?” His words were cool, calm and collected and made total sense. I hated him for being so untouchable. He grabbed a leaf from a nearby branch, pulling it down and sending it flying violently back into the air when the leaf broke free. I ducked to avoid the branch and reached my boiling point as he carried on along the moonlit trail as if my attacks meant nothing to him.
“I…I think you’re just jealous of Lucas!” I shouted because I was shaking with anger and couldn’t think of anything else to say. I knew how ridiculous I was. I felt like one of those annoying mocking birds that pecks at you when you get to close to its nest, running down the trail behind him, trying to keep up with his long stride and injure him badly enough to make up for my own wounded pride.
Of course my luck would have it that at that moment another cloud passed in front of the moon and the world around me went black again.
My foot caught on another unseen snag and my body began falling through the air. In an instant, Dayne’s hand grabbed mine and jerked up toward the sky, pulling mine with it as he held on tight. His other arm found its way under me and he caught me before I fell to the earth below.
He gently placed me back on my feet in front of him. The night was as dark as a black hole spinning in an abyss around us. The solid heat of his body lingered in front of me, blocking the chill of the night. His hand traced down my arm and grabbed my hand again. He turned and took two steps. My feet stayed planted where they were, pulling him back to me.
“I can’t see,” I said through clenched teeth in the dark when his motion stopped and turned back.
Leaves crunched under his footsteps. In one quick motion, he scooped me up and cradled me against his chest like a baby. He walked on, holding me against him. My heart beat so wildly in my chest I was sure he could feel it.
“How can you see where you’re going?’ I was terrified, staring into the black world like my eyes weren’t even open, but I trusted him.
“This is my home. I could walk it blindfolded. Lean in.” I curled into him as an unseen branch brushed through my hair.
I immediately felt horrible for the unfair things I had said. As soon as his arms encircled me, the anger of my embarrassment had caved in.
He had managed to remain completely calm during our argument while I resorted to the unfair, emotionally charged attacks of a child. Here he was, helping me out of what could have easily been the most terrifying experience of my life, and I was doing nothing but beating him up with the same unfair accusations Clonlea had used against him for years.
“Listen, Dayne, I shouldn’t have said that. I’m really sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. You’re right.” His shoulders shrugged against me. “I am jealous,” he said, staring straight ahead, and not turning to look at me.
“No way.” I let out a disbelieving laugh at the absurdity of his words. Was he trying to
get me started again? “You have the world at your fingertips. How could you be jealous of a stable hand?” He sucked air through his teeth and bit his lip in the darkness as he thought about how to answer my question.
“Faye, having everything sometimes leaves you with nothing of your own. I do envy Lucas, and you and everyone else in this town because you all have the freedom to decide what your life will be. That is something I will never have.” I couldn’t believe my ears. Was he actually confiding in me? After everything I had just said to him? My mouth hung open in the darkness as I realized that I was learning things about Dayne that I was pretty sure no one had ever known before. I didn’t want him to stop. I wanted to be the one he told his secrets to, the one he shared his life with.
“Oh, come on,” I cooed, suddenly worried my flippant remark may have struck a fragile underbelly I never would’ve guessed he possessed. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. “Do you not realize the life you live? Everyone’s jealous of you. There’s not a man in Clonlea that wouldn’t trade places with you.” I said, hoping to reassure him.
“Not if they knew the truth. I have obligations, Faye. Obligations to family and other people that chain me to a life I would love to escape.” I thought about the protective little bubble most people in Dayne’s situation lived in. The privacy they had to keep that kept them from forming true friendships. The duties a life of privilege gave them and the normalcy it took in return. It seemed everyone always wanted something from these great people, but offered them nothing in return.
But it didn’t have to be like that for him. In Clonlea, Dayne was away from his family, out on his own and capable of living a normal life for once.
“That’s not true. What about Clonlea? You could have any life you wanted here, but instead you let everyone make up stories and spread lies about you. And you don’t even seem to care.” The moon had reappeared from behind the cloud by this point but he carried me, still. Which was fine by me!
“They’re going to think what they want to think regardless, and maybe I am the horrible person they say I am.” I couldn’t believe my ears. Dayne could never be horrible. Impossible, yes, but not horrible.
“You’re not horrible.” When I shook my head his hair brushed against my cheek, sending chills racing down my body. “I know you’re not.” Dayne turned sideways and we drew even closer together as we squeezed between two trees.
“You don’t really know me at all, Faye.” He looked over to the side, away from me as he said this.
“Yeah, I do. I know you were willing to step in and save me from that stranger at the festival, and I know you were the one who found me when I fell off Sterling. That’s not horrible, Dayne. That’s more than anyone else has done for me.” I studied the buttons on my shirt, shining glossy white in the moonlight, unable to believe I had found the nerve to tell him how I truly felt.
He didn’t say anything. We continued in silence, and I found myself listening to the crunch of his feet on the forest floor and hating every step. I knew each footfall took me closer to reality—away from Dayne and whatever new found understanding this was passing between us. Back to a world where I was nothing but a hired hand to him.
I found myself wanting to put my head on his shoulder and relax into the strength of him, knowing that I was safe and that nothing could ever happen to me as long as I was in his arms. I thought about the weird way he had reacted to me that day in his car. It seemed like secrets were being shared in the cover of darkness so I tried again.
“Dayne, what really happened when you found me in the woods that day?”
“What do you mean?” He asked as if we had never broached the subject before.
“My dreams. The ones I mentioned to you the other day? I know it isn’t all a dream.” I looked at his face and the loosened hair that hung down around it, highlighted in the glow of night. A branch brushed by his cheek and I reached out to knock it away.
“You’re talking about the stranger again?” He finally asked, knowing he couldn’t get away from me this time. I nodded.
“He wants to hurt me, doesn’t he?” I asked and shivered as I pictured the stranger’s ice-cold eyes. Dayne pulled me closer when the chill shook my body.
“He’s not going to hurt you.” He looked at me for the first time. A moment of silence wrapped around us as his words settled into my brain. An owl hooted from a high branch in a distant tree. I shook my head and we both knew that wasn’t the answer I was looking for.
“No…I’m asking if it really happened.” The instant the words left my lips I knew I didn’t want to hear the answer. If the stranger was real, the only way Dayne could promise he wouldn’t hurt me was if the part Dayne had played in my dream was real as well.
If dream-Dayne was real, the Dayne I knew in the real world wasn’t. The thought of losing him, even though I didn’t technically have him, sucked the air right out of my lungs.
“Would it change anything if it had?” His steps slowed and the crunching leaves beneath seemed to ring in my ears as his question sunk into my consciousness.
“No,” I whispered into the tiny space between us, knowing the answer without even thinking about his question.
It wouldn’t change anything if it weren’t a dream.
It wasn’t like I would tattle to the cops or Rose and Phin with news like that. I would sound like a raging lunatic, claiming such things were real. Probably be laughed all the way back to America, even in a town as superstitious as Clonlea. The only proof I really had was my vision of the stranger’s eyes. Trying to explain that would have signed my admission form at the crazy hospital. So letting any of what I suspected slip across my lips was big fat NO.
Accepting that day as truth certainly brought a whole new level of danger to my safe little world. Things like that didn’t happen anywhere but horror movies or really scary books. Which also meant that if it was real, that stranger wanted to hurt me.
But Dayne had just told me he wouldn’t, and I believed him. Maybe I was stupid to trust him so blindly. What couldn’t be ignored was Dayne’s uncanny ability to show up when I needed him the most—like getting lost in the woods, being all alone when Hannah went into labor, or facing certain death at the hands of a stranger. Besides, being with Dayne was the only place I felt totally safe. If I chose to run away from the truth, I would be running away from my only protection too.
Then, there was also the little issue of my heart. The irrational, uncontrollable passion of my first crush gave Dayne a power over me unlike anything I’d ever known. A power stronger than all the forces of the world put together. A force that would cause me to bury his secrets along with my own and protect us both. After all, who was I to judge someone for not being normal?
“Dayne, that’s not really an answer. You gotta give me something. I have to know…” The silvery trees began thinning ahead. Bright white light from the moon-drenched field peeked through the tangle of branches at the edge of the forest. For the first time that night, I hated to see the light.
“You know everything you need to know. You’re safe and nothing is ever going to hurt you.” He stopped a few feet from the edge of the forest. Light shone down on us from a hole in the canopy above.
He released me and I slid down the length of his chest. His arms still held closely around me, holding me against him even after my feet were firmly on the ground. Every protest that had sprung up in my mind faded away and the importance of knowing what had really happened that day in the woods no longer seemed to matter. I shivered against the cold.
He shrugged out of his jacket and draped it around my shoulders. His cool fingers tickled my skin as he reached around my neck to pull my hair out from beneath the warmth of his coat.
“Thanks.” I looked down and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. To my amazement, his hand was already there. I watched his fingers stroke down the length of my curls that were illuminated to a platinum blonde in the moonshine.
He curled the ends of a
few strands through his fingertips, just like he had in my dream the night Ali was born. I looked at him, disbelieving. A devilish grin revealed his impossibly white teeth and he bit at his bottom lip again, trying to keep his smile from widening. The night was growing weirder by the moment, but I was too distracted by him care.
His hand came up to my cheek, and he gently traced along my cheekbone with the back of his fingers. He continued down along the curve of my face and caught my chin between his thumb and forefinger. He tilted my head up so that it was aligned under his. My head hung back, exposing my neck to the moon’s soft light. I had no clue what he was doing, but I knew I didn’t want him to stop. His touch was soft as velvet on my skin.
His fingers continued down, across my throat, along my collarbone and came to rest on my chest, just above my heart. He closed his eyes, as if listening to the rhythm of my body. My heart began to beat heavy, loud and hard in my chest. The blood rushed through my veins and the black and silver contrast of the forest around me blurred and spun at the same time. I felt the vibration of his hand on my chest with every heartbeat, growing faster and deeper.
My strength failed me.
I couldn’t resist him any longer.
I threw my arms around his neck and leaned up on my tiptoes. My sudden movement broke his concentration and he looked back to my face. I seized the moment.
I had no clue what I was doing, but I had seen it in enough movies and read about it in enough books. I licked my lips and rubbed them together. Dayne’s mouth hung slightly open in shock, and I took advantage of it.
I planted my lips firmly over his, eyes shut, arms thrown around his neck and fingers twirled in his disheveled hair. I pulled my body as close to his as I could get and I waited.
I really didn’t know what to do next.
I stayed frozen, lips over his, and he did, too. I was beginning to think I was the world’s biggest fool. Why would Dayne want to kiss me?
I started to pull away in embarrassed defeat.
Heir of Earth (Forgotten Gods) Page 19