To my delight, he stopped me.
His strong arms circled around my waist, refusing to let my body leave his. He pulled back for a second, giving me a chance to stop him if I wanted to, and then his lips were on mine again, softly at first but then harder, urgently pressing into mine. Every part of me screamed, and I thought I might spontaneously combust from the fire he started in me.
My knees buckled under me, but it didn’t matter. Dayne held me against him, unwilling to let me go.
He kissed me until I couldn’t breathe.
Regrettably, I pulled away from his lips. His body remained curved into mine, his forehead resting against my cheek. My head went to the side, panting with the heavy breaths of oxygen-starved exhaustion.
“Faye,” he whispered heavily into my ear, out of breath himself. “I’m sorry. That didn’t need to happen.” He hung his head down, still holding me to him as if my touch were a comfort. I felt horribly guilty. I was the one who started this.
I had kissed him. I had thrown myself at him like everyone else. I wasn’t any different from all the other girls who lusted after him like a pack of starving dogs in a butcher shop.
I pushed out of his arms. “I’m sorry. That was my fault. I started it. I should have known you didn’t want that.” I turned away from him, unable to face his torment.
“Don’t,” he said. “I didn’t do anything to stop it.” He walked around and stood in front of me, taking my chin in his hand again. “Wanting and needing are two very different things, Faye. Of course I wanted to kiss you, but I didn’t need to kiss you.”
“Why?” It was the only word I could think of with his body so close to mine.
“I just can’t.” He dropped his chin and nodded toward the top of the field in front of us. “You’d better get back before they miss you.”
I turned to look at the field. The women still picked their way along the clumps of bushes, happy and contented in their search. I turned back to Dayne, but he was already gone. The leaves crunched under his footsteps in the forest. He wasn’t coming back.
“Rose! I am so sorry!” She was bending over picking a flower, just as she had been all night.
“Couldn’t find the comfrey? That’s okay. I know right where the bush is that I got that leaf from.” Rose wasn’t rattled in the least. She wasn’t searching the field frantically for me, calling my name like I was sure she would. It had to have been at least an hour since she left me on the cliff.
“Didn’t you miss me?” I was very confused.
“Sure?” Her answer was really a question. She looked up at me, trying to figure out what kind of game I was playing. A single primrose lay in her basket and she bent to pick another.
She hadn’t missed me at all. Was she that wrapped up in her herb picking? I looked across the field and saw April, still in the same spot, picking the same herbs. It was like time had stood still while I was with Dayne. Had I imagined him again?
I looked down at the basket that had somehow stayed with me through my adventure in the woods. Amazingly, every herb was still there.
“Um, Rose? Do you mind if I head back. I’m really tired.”
“Sure honey, you know the way? Wouldn’t want you getting lost. Your mother would never forgive me for that.”
Chapter 13
Full Force Gale
I thought Rose and Phin would never leave the next morning. It was Saturday, so I had the day off. I declined Rose’s invitation to work at the bakery and Phin’s offer to join him at a real Irish football match. I yawned, and pretended to be exhausted from my late night of herb picking.
As soon as Phin’s truck was out of sight, I rushed up the stairs, jumping them two at a time in my haste. In my tiny bathroom I showered and toweled my hair dry. I dug through my bag and found the small zippered case that had not been pulled out since my arrival in Ireland. It contained everything a girl needed to primp—a small bottle of perfume, some mascara and tinted chap stick—the closest thing I had to lip-gloss.
After my barely there make up was carefully applied I stood in front of my closet trying to decide what to wear. I had to look casual, like this was what I wore all the time when I wasn’t in riding clothes.
I decided on a pair of jeans and a delicate white shirt with embroidery at the collar and sleeves, finished off with tiny pearl earrings. The necklace I always wore was now visible in the lower cut top, sparkling in the morning sunshine that poured through my tiny eastern window. I pulled on leather cowboy boots and strung a belt through the loops at my waist.
Standing in front of the mirror, I nodded my head approvingly. Not too bad. My days of working in the sunshine had tanned my skin just slightly. My hair, free to curl how it wanted, no longer restricted by the rubber band, flowed in a golden veil.
I grabbed Dayne’s jacket from the post on my headboard where it rested all night, and in my excited haste, it slipped from my grasp. As it landed on the well-worn wooden floor something clattered from the pocket and skittered under my bed. Down on my hands and knees to retrieve it, I saw it was a key on a long chain. Turning it over in my hand, using the bright sunlight to get a better look, my face drew together in a puzzled way.
Dayne always wore a large ring of rusty keys hooked on his belt, but I had never noticed one like this. It was a dainty, feminine key. Gold scrollwork circled around the shaft and head of the skeleton key. A clear glass bead gleamed in the center of the head, right where you would get a grip on it to turn a lock. I dropped it back in the pocket as I slung the jacket around me. It wasn’t cold enough to need the jacket, but I wanted to wear it anyway.
It was a 10-minute walk to Ennishlough, and I could think about nothing but last night as I skipped around the mud puddles. I couldn’t wait to see him. He had kissed me. He had wanted me last night. Just like a drug addict, I had my first taste and I wanted more.
I was halfway up the drive when I met Lucas, heading home after the morning feeding.
“Hey! Wow. You look awesome.” He couldn’t take his eyes off of my hair as he spoke to me. “Where were you last night? I looked for you.”
“Hey. Um, I was there.” I said suddenly nervous about possibly having to answer questions about where I had really been last night. “I ended up leaving early. I was tired.” Not a total lie.
“Oh,” he said looking at me, sensing the tension in my voice. “Oh.” His tone was different when he noticed the huge jacket that hung down to my knees. “I see.” His arms crossed in front of his chest and his soft look of welcome changed to a hard look of betrayal. He saw Dayne wear the jacket everyday just like I did.
“Lucas, it’s not like that.” Total lie.
“Hey, that’s fine. If that’s what you want.” He kicked at the ground with the toe of his boot. “Just don’t expect to be any different than all the others.” I could tell he was hurt and trying to cut me just as deeply.
“Lucas.” I wanted to tell him he was wrong, that he was way off base, make this as easy as possible, but I didn’t want to lie to him anymore so I said nothing.
“Whatever, Faye.” He stormed off down the driveway, picking up a rock and throwing it into the field as hard as he could.
My heart leapt when I walked into the barn and saw LeSheen standing in the cross ties, fully tacked up. I quickly forgot about my encounter with Lucas.
I walked over to LeSheen, who pinned his ears back in the universal horse sign of unwelcome. Stupid horse, I thought. Dayne was sitting on an overturned bucket in the stall bedside him, reclined against the wall. Legs sprawled in front of him, his focus remained on his hands as he rubbed a palm with his thumb, deep in thought. I stopped in my tracks and watched him for a moment.
He was so effortlessly gorgeous that I immediately felt totally unworthy of him and everything that had happened between us last night. I traced my lips, remembering the feel of his moonlight kiss. I wasn’t making it up this time. He had wanted me.
I cleared my throat, not knowing what to say. He glanced
up for a second and then down at his hands again. His silence was excruciating.
“I brought your jacket back.” My comment was easy and harmless. I shrugged out of the coat and hung it on a nail.
He looked older in the daylight, worn and ragged like he hadn’t slept all night.
“Faye.” It was fast and hard, like he couldn’t spit it out of his mouth fast enough. “You need to forget about last night. That never should have happened.” His nose and lips curled away from his face, disgusted at the memory of us.
The words punched at my insides, knocking the wind from my lungs. I felt the life drain out of me, pooling around my feet, holding me frozen in place. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t think.
“But.” The voice did not sound like my own. It sounded like a scared little girl and the familiar sting of rejection that had followed me through high school burned at my ears.
I felt like an idiot standing there before him in my carefully chosen outfit. The mascara and chap stick I had so lightly applied felt like clown make up now. My hair— My stupid hair! —he had stroked so tenderly last night now felt like a dunce cap on my head.
Just don’t expect to be any different from the others.
Lucas’ words screamed in my ear. I wanted to hide, to shrink away into a safe dark corner and then leave forever, never seeing him again, never being reminded of my colossal mistake again.
He walked past me, leading LeSheen from the barn. He didn’t even look at me. I stared at the empty wash rack. Defeated. Deflated.
The clip-clop of LeSheen’s hooves on the stone aisle suddenly enraged and unnerved me. I wasn’t going to let him do this to me. I wasn’t going to let him make me feel like a fool. He had kissed me back last night.
I spun furiously on my heel and followed him out of the barn, my teeth grinding, my blood boiling as soon as my eyes landed on his back.
Dayne swung effortlessly into the saddle and began to trot off.
My jaw clenched. My eyes squinted and a fury I had never known before pounded through me. I felt like I was about to explode. All the hurt and pain I had swallowed in my life bubbled up to the surface and turned to pure hatred laser focused at them.
LeSheen moved further away from me, but it wasn’t fast enough. If I had held something I would have thrown it at Dayne’s arrogant head. My hands formed into fists and dug into my thighs.
Go on! Leave! I never want to see you and your stupid horse again! I screamed in my mind.
My body buzzed like a hive of angry bees and shook with the ferocity of my anger. I wished I could push them away, so far from me I never had to see him again.
A strong wind kicked up out of nowhere. It blew furiously at my back, spilling my hair over my shoulders and flying wildly through the air around me. The gust moved toward them, picking up pieces of hay and dust as it went.
I knew the instant it reached the massive white stallion trotting away. The hairs of his tail flattened out to the side and pushed between his hind legs. The breeze was a full-force gale by the time it reached Dayne’s back, pushing him forward in the saddle, blowing his collar straight up around his neck and scattering his mahogany hair.
It pleased my anger to see them pushed away from me. Get out of here you jerk! Take that stupid horse with you! I thought.
They stopped immediately. My anger checked itself slightly. Had I actually screamed those words out loud?
Together they turned and stared at me. Both horse and man looked at me with a mix of fear and shock on their faces. LeSheen snorted like horses do when they pick up the smell of danger on the wind.
My eyes locked on Dayne’s. The wind fell away. I glared at him, hoping the hatred I felt was plain on my face.
Satisfied I had made my point, I turned and walked back into the barn. I knew it was childish, but I couldn’t resist knocking his stupid coat to the dirty floor as I stormed away.
Chapter 14
Things Have Gone to Pieces
I had one more encounter with Dayne DeLaney before the accident.
In the days that followed his rejection at the barn that morning, I dared him to approach me. In my mind, I planned all the horrible things I would say to him—how selfish and arrogant and down right heartless he was to play with my feelings the way he had. Or suggest he see a doctor for the bi-polar disorder he obviously suffered from.
I thought about threatening to expose his secrets to everyone, but then I remembered that he hadn’t actually admitted to anything and proving my theories would only point fingers at me.
All week, I waited to tear into him.
I never got the chance. The days rolled into a week, my anger waned, and I found myself wishing he would just look at me.
He never did.
We were at the tavern one evening. Rose hadn’t felt like cooking dinner after a busy day at the bakery, so we walked the short distance to the tavern. I was excited to see April there with Norah and Alana. I had been in such a fog the last week I really hadn’t seen them at all.
“There you are!” April greeted me with a big hug. “Where have you been? Rose said you weren’t feeling well.”
“Yeah, I pulled my back riding or something. I just haven’t really felt like doing much,” I lied. Of course I felt fine physically, but how could I tell them what was going on when I had kept the truth of that night from everyone? I was used to keeping it all in anyway.
“So, did you hear about Lucas and Ashley?” She said as she tilted her head and rolled her eyes to the left, hiding her face with her hair.
I followed her eye-roll to a table in the corner. A girl sat on Lucas’ lap, playing with his hair as she chatted and laughed. He rested a hand on her knee, but he didn’t seem to be listening to her. He cast a sideways glance our way, then quickly refocused on Ashley, suddenly becoming very interested in her story when he saw us looking their way. I still saw Lucas everyday at the barn, but he hadn’t spoken to me since the morning my life had fallen apart.
“You aren’t mad at Ashley, are you?” Alana asked as if she were concerned for my feelings. I knew she was really looking for juicy gossip.
“Why would I be mad? Lucas and I are just friends.” I hoped I was convincing. The truth was I had thought about Lucas more than once in the past week. He was the only one that knew my secret, and apparently he was keeping it for me. I wanted to talk to him again more than anything. There was something about Lucas that always put my mind at ease, but he had been avoiding me, too.
I plucked and pulled insistently at my fingernails, disengaging from the group long enough for the topic of conversation to turn somewhere else.
“I need to go shopping,” Norah said absently, changing the topic of conversation. “I want to find the perfect outfit for the Summer Solstice Festival next week.”
“Oh, yeah. I forgot that’s next weekend. What are you thinking you’ll dress up as?” Alana asked.
“I don’t know. I really want to do like a cool version of a fairy. I know it’s totally played out, so I was thinking I would go totally Tinkerbelle with like a short green dress and these gold sequined heels I saw.” Norah was definitely the most style conscious of the group.
“You just want to wear a short dress so you can show off your legs,” Alana accused.
“Use it while you got it!” Norah retorted with a laugh.
I had now moved on to readjusting my necklace, still wanting to keep myself out of the conversation, even though I did love the fun of dressing up.
“Cool necklace!” Norah grabbed my locket and began to inspect it. “Where did you get it?”
“I don’t really know. I’ve had it since I was a baby.”
“It looks old, like an antique or something. You want to sell it? I’d buy it from you,” she offered.
“No. I can’t. It’s from my mother.” I said with a shrug.
“Family heirloom?” She guessed.
“I don’t really know.” I looked down at it, lying in her palm.
“How cou
ld you not know something like that?” Alana asked, picking up on the fact that there was a story behind my words.
“I’m adopted, but my birth mother insisted my parents keep this locket for me,” I shrugged in a disinterested way. It wasn’t that talking about my adoption bothered me. It just wasn’t really a part of my consciousness.
“You’re adopted?” Alana’s shocked voice was so loud that I was sure she had attracted the attention of the tables around us. I looked to my left and saw that Dayne was sitting one table over. I hadn’t noticed him when I had sat down. He stared absently at his plate, not moving a muscle as he leaned toward our table, listening in on our conversation.
“Yeah. It’s not that unusual.” I tried to dismiss the uncertainty of my birth. The uncomfortable direction the conversation was turning caused me to tear at my fingernails with renewed resolve. With Dayne’s ears just inches away, I contemplated crawling under the table to avoid the conversation. That wasn’t an option
“No. I didn’t mean it like that. You just look so Irish. I can’t imagine Rose and Phin aren’t your family,” Alana said.
“Well, I am. My birth parents were Irish. They immigrated right before I was born.” I was sick of this conversation and wanted it to be over. “They couldn’t take care of me so they put me up for adoption.” I turned so that I faced Alana. “Rose and Phin are my family.” I gave her a glare worthy of a mafia kingpin to be sure she knew the topic was no longer open for discussion.
“It’s really beautiful.” Norah looked at the necklace and gave me a smile.
They continued to chatter about the Summer Solstice Festival, and I felt the tingle of annoyance that had raised in me fade away. I glanced over at the corner again just in time to see Lucas look away.
The weight of Dayne’s glare burned into me and with the fire of my earlier attack still heating my blood I turned to face it head on. My gaze refused to waver, no longer hypnotized by his attentions, but burning with determined indifference instead. He stood up, kicking his chair back so violently it hit the floor with a thud that earned the attention of half the diners. He left an untouched plate of food and a wad of money on the table as he stalked away.
Heir of Earth (Forgotten Gods) Page 20