I wasn’t sure when, but I knew I had to wait for the right time. I promised myself I wouldn’t take too long and I tried to control myself when he walked out onto the porch after my meeting with Riot.
“Mornin’,” he growled. The Jesse I remembered was happy, his voice light and excited about life. Wreck was the exact opposite. He was serious. Brooding, almost. He walked around like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, and now that Grace had filled me in, I felt awful knowing I had a part in changing him.
“Hey,” I said, smiling at him. I’d missed him so fucking much for the last ten years. I couldn’t help but drink him in. The way he smelled, the way the heat rolled off of his large frame, the size of those tattooed arms, the way his cut stretched across his huge shoulders. He’d grown, in more ways than one. Jesse was a boy, but this man in front of me exuded masculinity. His dark grey eyes smoldered when they landed on me, ripping the breath right out of my chest. I swallowed hard, lifted my chin, and took a strained and ragged deep breath as I stared deeply into his eyes.
Couldn’t he tell it was me? Didn’t something inside of him recognize me, even if I didn’t look the same? He tore his eyes from mine and my heart sank.
“So,” he said, staring off into the woods. “Sleep well?”
“No, not really,” I replied, staring at his familiar profile. “Lots of anxiety, I guess.”
“That’s to be expected,” he said, nodding.
“Yeah,” I said, followed by the most awkward silence ever. He just stood there, looking out at the trees, not saying a word. I was beginning to think he’d forgotten I was even there, when he turned to me suddenly.
“There’s another meeting,” he said. “In ten minutes.”
“Oh, okay,” I nodded, watching as he turned and walked back in the cabin. And just like that, he was gone.
Fuck. He was friendly yesterday, and he wasn’t being unfriendly now, but he was so withdrawn, almost cold, and again, I couldn’t help but think of the contrast between the old Jesse and Wreck.
It dawned on me that maybe he was going through the same thing, only for different reasons. He looked like he’d lost his best friend and I guess he had. We both had. I couldn’t imagine how it would have felt if he was the one that died. I’d been taken away from him, but I always knew he was safe and sound.
In the back of my mind, I’d always known I’d find him once I’d escaped from Royce. But I never in a million years thought it would go down like this.
I have to tell him. I have to.
But it was really hard to have a discussion with someone that looked like they were wearing a suit of body armor. He was so closed off, I was left wondering if he’d ever open up again.
And once I told him, then what? If he wasn’t interested in being around me now, in being around the person I was now, then maybe what we had was gone. Maybe that had died, too.
“Hey, darlin’,” Slade’s head poked out of the front door. “Meetin’ time.”
“Thank you,” I said, walking in as he held the door open for me.
“My pleasure,” he said, winking at me. Slade was tall and a little scary, but I liked him. He was real. Genuine. A salt of the Earth kind of guy. With Slade, it was obvious you got what you saw. No games, no punches.
I liked him. A lot.
We walked into the War Room together and joined everyone at the table. Grace was at the head of it and she started talking as soon as we sat down.
“Okay, I’ll make this brief. We’ve come up with an initial plan to get close to Randolph. Ryder and I are going to figure out a way to get an introduction to him and pose as a couple who just came into a bunch of money. We’ll allude to the fact that we’ve acquired it illegally, since hiding money from the feds seems to be Randolph’s forte. Hopefully, with a little more prodding we can allude to needing his other services. If he bites, we’re in.”
“Sounds good,” Wreck said. “But do you think it’s safe for you to go, Grace? Maybe it should be Ryder and one of the other guys.”
The silence that fell over the room seemed to suck all the oxygen from the air. All eyes turned to him and I couldn’t help but notice that most of them were squinted in anger and disapproval.
“Oh, brother,” Slade said, shaking his head and rolling his eyes.
“Wreck, do you realize what you just said?” Grace asked, with a raised eyebrow.
“What?” he asked, his eyes wide with innocence.
“Listen, man, Grace started Solid Ground, you know that,” Ryder said. “She’s the backbone of this organization, as are all the other women around here. They can do everything on their own, to be honest. Yeah, maybe we’re there for back up, but Grace didn’t need saving before I came into her life and she doesn’t need it now. Don’t be sexist. You should know better than that.”
“Oh,” Wreck replied, his mouth open in shock. “I didn’t mean any disrespect at all.”
“We know you didn’t, Wreck,” Grace said. “It’s just bred into you - that instinct to protect us - and I get it, we all do. But you have to do your part to challenge the ideas that society places in your head. Just because we’re women doesn’t mean we can’t do the same job as men.”
“Of course not,” he muttered, shaking his head. I felt sorry for him. He looked genuinely flabbergasted. I was sure he had the best intentions, but it did come out totally sexist. Luckily for him, Grace had accepted it just as her name suggested she would. I was growing increasingly fond of her.
“So, here’s the deal,” she said, dismissing the thing with Wreck easily. I watched as he sank back into his chair, averting his eyes. “We need an introduction to Randolph. It shouldn’t be too hard since he has so many people in his pocket.”
Grace opened a manilla folder in front of her and started passing out pictures. I looked at them as they were passed around and saw many faces that I recognized as Royce’s friends.
“All of these people are close to him. Do any of you recognize them? If we can meet one of them, then we can easily get them to refer us to Randolph. It’ll make our next steps look a lot more legitimate than just cold-calling him. He’ll trust us more.”
“Who is this guy? He looks familiar,” Slade asked, picking up one of the pictures.
“That’s Jewel Silverton,” I said. “He’s a prominent real estate developer that moved to Portland from California. He’s one of the more active players in tearing down the charming historical Victorian homes that Portland’s known for. His company buys the houses under the false pretense of intending to fix them up, then promptly tears them down and builds boring, sterile McMansions in their place. Most of the residents in Portland hate him for having a hand in ruining the town they held so dear to their hearts.”
“What a dick,” Slade said.
“Yep. Unfortunately, he gives plenty of money to the Mayor, bribing him with campaign contributions so he gives Silverton all the demolition permits he needs, without question. I learned about the bribes in Royce’s emails, because Silverton bragged about how easy it is to get what he wants with just a few greased palms.”
“Diana did a story on this guy, I think,” Slade said.
“Do you think she can put us in touch with him?” Ryder asked. “Introduce us, maybe?”
“I don’t see why not. I’ll ask her,” Slade replied.
“Thanks, Slade,” Grace said.
“Of course,” he replied. “I’m on it.”
He stood up from the table, grabbed his phone and walked out.
“Okay, that was easy. Thanks for coming, guys. I’ll keep you posted,” Grace said.
I stayed seated at the table as most of them walked out, my head spinning. Suddenly, I was gripped with fear. This was really happening. All the pieces were being put into motion, and all I could think about was that Royce was out there somewhere - more pissed at me than he’d ever been - and I knew what kind of a man he was. He never gave up. Ever.
Without a doubt, he was looking for me.
I wanted to save all those girls, but I couldn’t help but be worried about him finding me.
“You okay, Vanessa?” Wreck’s voice shot through the fog of worry that was clouding my brain.
“Um, yeah…,” I said. “I’m just getting a little worried. This is all so real now.”
He sat down next to me, his eyes full of understanding and warmth, a contrast to his demeanor earlier. Ryder and Grace lingered in the corner, whispering to each other.
“Everything’s going to be okay,” Wreck said, leaning in close. “Grace and Ryder know what they’re doing.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m just worried about what Royce would do if he found me. I wasn’t really thinking about that too much before, but now…,” I shrugged. “I don’t know. He’s a really fucking bad man.”
“Don’t worry about that,” he said, placing a warm hand over mine. “That’s what we’re all here for. To make sure he never gets close to you again.”
I didn’t know what to think of him. He was hot and cold. But I liked the warm Wreck a lot more than the distant one.
It was hard to look at him. I wanted to throw my arms around him, tell him that it was me. I wanted to feel his embrace, to allow the comfort that I hoped I’d find there make everything disappear, all my worries, all my pain.
“Wreck, I —,” I began, searching his eyes for some hint that he recognized me.
“Got it!” Slade walked in and we jumped apart.
“Already?” Wreck asked.
“Yep, Diana still had his number in her phone. She’s contacting him to let him know she has a couple who needs his help. Easy as pie!”
“Diana rocks!” Grace said. “Please thank her for me.”
“Already did!” Slade said, with a satisfied grin.
“Okay, then. So, we have some free time for a few hours. Let’s check in later,” Ryder said.
“You okay, Vanessa?” Grace asked.
“Yes, I am,” I replied. “I think I’ll just take a walk for a while, if that’s okay. It’ll be good to get some fresh air.”
“Of course,” Grace said. “Come down to our cabin if you need me. And oh, here!” Grace pushed a leather notebook and a pen across the table to me. “I thought this might be of use to you. It’s a journal. Journaling helped me immensely when I needed it the most. I thought it might help you too.”
I took the book from the table and stood up, smiling at her gratefully.
“Thank you, Grace,” I said. She pulled me into her arms, hugging me tightly before releasing me and staring into my eyes. “Anything at all you need, you let me know. Even if it’s just to talk. I’m here for you anytime. We all are.”
“Okay, I will,” I said, turning back to Wreck. “Would you like to go for a walk with me?”
He blinked before answering, his eyes glancing over at Grace and Ryder.
“Yeah, sure, I guess so,” he answered, nodding.
“I’m going to put this away. See you in a minute,” I replied, heading to my room to drop off the journal, my stomach full of butterflies.
If I didn’t put too much thought into it, I could almost convince myself we had a date.
Hell, it was more like a date than I’d had in ten years.
I’d take it.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Lacy
Softly, I knocked on Vanessa’s door.
“Come in,” she called. I opened the door slowly, peeking my head in.
“Hey, you got a minute?” I asked.
“Of course,” she said. She was sitting on the bed, her crystal clear blue eyes shimmering with tears.
“You okay?” I asked, sitting next to her.
“Yeah,” she nodded. “This is all just a little overwhelming.”
“I bet it is,” I agreed. “It gets better. It gets easier.”
“I’m hoping you’re right,” she said. She reminded me so much of myself. The look in her eyes, the slope of her shoulders, the look of uncertainty on her face.
“I know you feel lost right now, Vanessa. But Solid Ground is so good at what they do. Everything is going to be okay, I promise.”
“How do you know for sure?”
“Because I went through it, too. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Solid Ground. I probably wouldn’t even be alive. My mother - I use that term loosely, by the way - sold me to the Mayor of Seattle, who in turn pimped me out to all of his friends. I endured some awful years.”
“That’s horrible,” she said.
“It was. But I was once like you. I arrived here with nothing. And now, I’ve never been happier.”
“That’s good,” she said. “I hope I find that. I don’t even know who I am anymore.”
“You can be anyone you want to be, Vanessa. Once all of this is over, you can have an entirely new identity, if you want.”
Her eyes clouded over and she looked away, biting her lip.
“I just want to be the person I used to be,” she whispered. My heart broke for her. Because I knew the truth. I knew she could never go back. None of us could. I would have given anything at the time to go back and start all over, before my mother lost her mind, before all the pageants, before everything - but I couldn’t.
“Well, sometimes we have to let go of the past so we can step into our future, you know?” I said, gently. “The future Vanessa is going to be a better, stronger, happier version than the person you were before.”
“What if I can’t imagine being happier than I was before?” she asked, her eyes full of pain and confusion.
“You’ll find happiness, Vanessa, I promise,” I said. “You were just seventeen when Royce took you, right? Seventeen year old Vanessa can’t even imagine how happy you’re going to be. You might have been happy then, but it’ll be even better. You’ll see.”
“Frankie,” she whispered.
“What?” I asked.
“Frankie. My name was Frankie back then. Royce made me change it.”
“Oh, okay. Well, you can be whoever you want to be from now on,” I said. “You get to make all the choices now.”
She mustered a smile and I hugged her.
“I’ll let you go on your walk,” I said, pulling away. “I just wanted to check in on you. Do you need anything?”
“Actually, yes, I do. Do you have a pair of jeans I can borrow? Or any other clothes? All I have is the stuff Royce bought me and I hate putting it on my body.”
“Of course I do!” I exclaimed, happy to be able to do something useful. “I’ll be right back!”
As I walked out of her room, I saw Wreck lingering at the end of the hallway. His eyes darted towards the door nervously. I couldn’t help but smile. I knew that look. A mixture of worry and fascination, twinged with interest and intrigue. He’d been looking at her like that since she arrived and it reminded me so much of Riot when I’d first gotten here.
It wasn’t a bad thing for Wreck to be interested at all. Riot had provided so much comfort for me back then. Wreck would probably do the same thing, I could only hope he knew to go slow with her. She needed patience and gentleness, someone to guide her lovingly.
“Go slow, Romeo,” I whispered to him as I walked to the room I shared with Riot.
He opened his mouth to speak, and then quickly closed it, shaking his head with a quick smile. He nodded to me as I passed.
I walked to my room, knowing exactly what I was going to give to Vanessa to wear. If she was anything like me, she wanted the opposite of fancy.
Give me comfort over style any day of the week.
I padded back to her room, a heaping pile of clothing in my arms.
Wreck was still standing there, guarding her door like a pit bull.
“She’ll be out in a minute,” I winked at him as I closed the door.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Vanessa
Levi’s. A black t-shirt. Sneakers. A black hoodie that had the club’s Gods of Chaos logo emblazoned across the back.
Once I’d put them on, I
never wanted to take them off. I’d forgotten how good it felt to wear comfortable clothing. I thanked Lacey profusely and put all the clothes I’d brought with me in a big pile on the floor. It was a good thing I didn’t see a match in sight, or I might have set fire to them right there. I vowed to burn them later and left them laying there, with a big smile on my face. If Royce saw those six hundred dollar jeans in a pile on the floor, he’d have a fit. The satisfaction that washed over me was delicious.
I walked out of my room and felt a rush of pleasure as I saw Wreck was standing there waiting for me.
“Sorry it took so long,” I said.
“No worries,” he said, his smoldering gray eyes raking over my body. “You look great.”
“Thanks, I feel much more comfortable.”
“Right on,” he nodded. “Shall we?”
“Yes!”
“Y’all kids have fun now, ya hear?” Cherry called from the kitchen as we walked outside.
“We have more light today. We can go to the creek,” Wreck said, staring up at the sun.
“Will we see those owls again?” I asked.
“Maybe,” he shrugged. “You never know when they’ll pop up. They’re supposed to be nocturnal, but I’ve seen them at all hours of the day. Sometimes, I think they aren’t even real, just some crazy ghost owls that show up and scare the shit out of you when you least expect it or something.”
I laughed out loud, really loud, because it felt so good to do that. But when I saw the look on Wreck’s face, I stopped myself. He looked stricken almost. As if I’d slapped him across the face, instead of laughed at his joke.
“This way,” he nodded, his lips pressed together in a thin grimace. We entered the same trail we’d followed yesterday, following a well-worn path towards the sound of rushing water.
“I used to walk in the woods all the time,” I whispered, taking in the peaceful beauty around me. “It’s so therapeutic!”
“I think so, too,” he said, his voice echoing off the trees around us. A breeze blew past us, shaking free some of the leaves above us. I watched as they floated down, seemingly weightless in the air, dancing one last, long dance before falling at our feet.
WRECKED: GODS OF CHAOS MC, BOOK FOUR Page 9