“So are you holding up okay today?” he asked, as we walked side by side.
“Yeah,” I replied. “Everyone has been so nice, I am feeling much better than I expected to.”
“Good,” he said, looking over and smiling at me, sending a shock of pleasure right to my gut. “Before you know it, this’ll all be over and you can move on with your life.”
“Does that always happen? Every woman who comes here moves on? You never see them again?”
“Well, yeah, pretty much. Not much to do around the clubhouse, you know? Lacey stayed, but she fell in love with Riot.”
“Right,” I said. “They seem very much in love.”
“They are,” he said. “They’re inseparable.”
“Have you ever felt that kind of love?” I asked. Alright, I know, I know. I was fishing. In a way, I wanted him to talk about me. I wanted to hear what he thought about our time together, after all these years had passed. Maybe it was twisted, but I wasn’t exactly thinking clearly, and being right next to him, knowing it was really him, and the fact that I was all alone with him in the woods, it just made me a little crazy.
And I needed something. I wasn’t sure what. I couldn’t really put my finger on it.
I wanted so many different things and I was so confused. Most of all, I wanted him to recognize me. I wanted him to like me for who I was now and yet at the same time I wanted to hear him talk about who I used to be.
None of it made sense.
Nothing did. I was barely hanging on to my sanity by a thread, pushing out all thoughts of Royce and the danger lurking in the back of my mind. And at the same time, trying to reconcile my feelings about seeing Jesse now.
To say it was confusing was an understatement.
It was a straight-up mind fuck.
Maybe everything would be alright if I just told him who I was.
But he thought I was dead. Maybe he wouldn’t even believe me?
Unfortunately, the part of my twisted psyche that wanted him to recognize me was winning out above just coming flat out and telling him. I don’t know why, but I kept staring into his eyes deeply, hoping that if I just stared deeply enough, he could see me behind this facade that I’d been burdened with.
“Have I ever felt that?” he repeated my question. “Yeah, once. A long time ago. What about you? Before you were kidnapped? Did you have someone special?”
I swallowed hard, my body beginning to respond to the heat pouring off of his body. He was so fucking hot. I didn’t give a shit about that scar on his face, or the others that were surely hiding under his clothes. You didn’t walk away from a wreck like that with just one slash on your face. But instead of turning me off, I wanted to get closer. I wanted to run my finger along his scars, I wanted to tear off his clothes and see all the other scars he was hiding.
“Yes, but it was a long time ago, too,” I answered softly, biting my tongue before I said anymore. I turned away and kept walking. I could feel his eyes on me as I walked towards the water, fallen leaves and pine needles crunching under our feet. I took a deep breath, inhaling the sweet healing scent of last night’s rain. I took a few more steps and then caught a flash of movement out of the corner of my eye.
Wreck placed a hand on my arm. “Don’t move,” he said, pointing a finger to the right of us. I turned my head and saw a beautiful fawn, her delicate little face and huge ears sticking up over a rock. She saw us and froze for a second before turning and walking away slowly. Her long gangly legs carried her away from us and I felt my heart burst open with happiness.
I turned to Wreck with excitement rushing through my veins
“A deer!” I exclaimed. A quick smile spread across his face and he stared down at me.
“Looked like a baby,” he said. “Probably not even a year old yet.”
“This place is like a magical fairy land!” I said, feeling like a little girl discovering animals for the first time. “Owls and deers! What’s next?”
“I’ve seen lots of wildlife around here,” he replied. “Crows, robins, scrub jays, coyotes, lots of deer come through, sometimes you see snakes and salamanders. Ryder told me there used to be wolves and bears, but they’ve become extinct in these areas because of logging. There’s lots of other stuff, too.”
“If I lived here, I’d never leave the forest,” I said. I stared up at the trees in wonder.
“It’s definitely a huge perk of the clubhouse,” he replied.
“Yeah?” I asked. “What other perks are there?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” he said, grinning. “Parties? Booze? Privacy?”
“Are you guys like typical bikers? Engaging in criminal activities and fighting with rival gangs over drugs and guns?”
“I think you’ve been watching too much television,” he teased.
“What you didn’t watch Sons of Anarchy?” I asked, winking at him.
“Nah,” he replied, shrugging. “Riot told me he watched that shit. But those bikers are way too pretty to be real.”
“I don’t know,” I replied. “Some of you are kinda hot.”
“Who, you mean Ryder or Slade? I guess they’re alright,” he answered, looking away.
“I meant you, too,” I said, softly, looking up at him.
“Oh, Jesus, woman. You do need to get out more. Have you seen my face?” he asked.
“Yes and I still think you’re handsome,” I answered, daringly. Was I flirting? Maybe. Did I care? Not really. But once I saw the slight blush creep into his cheeks, I was satisfied. I’d wanted to break through his rough exterior a little and maybe it was finally working.
He grunted in answer and turned away from me again.
“Let’s keep going,” he said, leading the way. I followed him, staring at his ass the whole time. By the time we’d gotten to the creek, I had every inch of his back memorized.
“This is beautiful,” I said, my voice once more full of wonder and amazement. “I’m in love!”
“You’re easily pleased, aren’t you?” he asked, his grey eyes looking at me for the first time with what I recognized as hunger.
“I guess I am,” I quipped, hopping on to a log that had fallen over the creek and throwing my arms out to balance myself as I walked over it, the creek rushing over the rocks below me.
“Be careful!” he warned. “That log is slippery with moss.”
“If I fell, you’d save me, wouldn’t you?” I called, looking over my shoulder at him.
“Well, yeah, of course,” he answered.
“Then I’m not worried,” I replied, flashing him a quick smile before turning on one foot and heading back towards him. He shook his head and laughed as I hopped down right in front of him.
I stared up at him, my heart filling with gratitude - for him, for the fact that he was actually Jesse and that he was in front of me again, for this beautiful place, for this beautiful day that I was able to spend away from Royce and most of all, for my freedom.
“I’m so thankful right now,” I whispered, our eyes locked together.
He swallowed hard, the muscle in the side of his jaw twitching as he looked down at me. I mustered my courage and put a hand up to his face, sliding a finger along his scar. His breath turned ragged, his mouth opening slightly as he stood there motionless, allowing me to touch him.
“You know, I kinda like it,” I said, smiling. “It gives your face more character.”
“How do you know that?” he teased. “You haven’t seen me without it.”
Maybe now was the right time. Maybe I should have just spilled it all right then, told him everything, explained that it was me, that I was still here. But again, something stopped me. I opened my mouth to speak but then I closed it just as fast.
“I can imagine,” I finally whispered.
He nodded slowly, his eyes never breaking contact, as my fingers kept caressing the thin angry line. My hand slid around the back of his neck and I raised up on my tip-toes, bringing my lips inches from his. I pulled him
down towards me and our lips met in a chorus of fiery unleashed passion.
I kissed him hard. Urgently. With all the passion I’d kept pent up for ten years, all the pain, all the yearning, crashing down around us in that one second, our lips working together and creating an intense burning heat that was so real, so familiar, so fucking right that I never wanted to pull away.
But he did.
Too fast, way too fast.
When he looked at me again, his eyes were wild with lust and tortured with pain and confusion.
“Vanessa, I don’t think —,” he began, before dipping his head, his lips colliding with mine once more. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him in before he could pull away again. The hunger I felt was overwhelming, my head flashing with all the memories of kissing him so long ago and the intense pleasure of kissing him again now. Everything swirled together inside of me creating a wicked tornado of emotion that whipped around inside of my heart. Hot tears fell down my cheeks as I kissed him back, my entire body wrecked with pure ecstasy to have my love back in my arms.
“No!” he cried, tearing his mouth away and pushing me back with his arms. “I’m so sorry, Vanessa. We shouldn’t be doing this.”
“Why?” I asked, my lips begging to be close to his again.
“Because, because - I - well, you - fuck!” he roared, removing his hands from my arms and walking away and facing the water. I watched his shoulders slump, before he turned back to me.
“This isn’t what we’re about. Solid Ground,” he said, his voice ragged with emotion. “I shouldn’t be taking advantage of you like this.”
“Are you kidding me?” I asked. “But I kissed you first.”
“That doesn’t mean it’s right,” he said. “Look, you’ve been through a lot. The last thing you need is getting mixed up with me.”
“You don’t seem so bad,” I replied, my voice now soft and sad.
“That’s not what I meant,” he growled, his eyes landing on my lips. I licked them, hoping to seduce him into kissing them again. The heat that rolled off his body only made me want to get closer to him, I wanted to bathe in it, wrap myself up in it like a blanket and never come out.
“Well,” I answered. “I liked it, for what it’s worth.”
He growled again, shaking his head.
“I liked it, too,” he whispered.
“Good,” I said, staring up at him, willing him to kiss me again.
“Fuck,” he shook his head once more, his eyes searching mine deeply. Does he see me? I wondered. Did he recognize my kiss?
Whatever he was looking for, he must have found it, because his lips came crashing down again and possessed mine with the hunger of a starving man. I moaned, leaning into him as he wrapped his huge, tattooed arms around me, pulling me in while he kissed me even deeper than before, his mouth searching mine like a lost man searching for the light.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Slade
The flashing lights from the neon signs outside of Diana’s condo in downtown Portland poured in through the window of her bedroom. I rolled over in bed and pulled her naked body close to mine. We’d made love and fallen right to sleep afterwards, somehow drifting away from each other in the process. But fuck that. Now that I was awake, I needed her as close to me as possible.
She stirred, gently moaning and resting her head on my shoulder. My heart swelled with love and my cock swelled with lust all at the same time.
“Baby, I gotta have you one more time,” I muttered, pulling myself on top of the beautiful curvy masterpiece that served as a vessel to her sweet, perfect soul. She smiled a lazy smile and spread her legs, welcoming me into her softness in one smooth stroke.
“Fuck, I love you so much,” I groaned, before taking her mouth in mine, kissing her with all the passion inside of me. Almost two years had passed since our journey began, and my need for her only grew over time. At this point, I was obsessed.
But why wouldn’t I be? As I moved inside of her, pulling the pleasure from her body with every strong, intentional stroke, I couldn’t help but think about how incredibly fucking amazing she was. Not only had she become my best friend, but she’d given me the best gift a man could ask for.
A family.
I’d never loved anything the way I loved Diana and Jeremiah. My heart exploded every day, with every thought of them.
Her thighs wrapped around my hips and I sped up, swelling inside of her, her sweet soft pussy squeezing around me. I groaned as I tried to prolong the pleasure, but every time she did that little rhythmic squeezing, I fucking lost it like a teenager.
She knew it, too. I think she got some secret amusement to reducing me to a pile of quivering flesh, but that’s okay. As far as I’m concerned, she can do whatever she wants to me.
Her moans quickened with my pace and I reached down, gently rubbing her swollen clit, until she was writhing below me, her soft whimpers shooting straight to my gut until she was crying out in pleasure. I let go, gripping her hips.
“Come on, baby, that’s it,” I prodded, whispering in her ear as I drilled into her harder, my fingers digging into the soft flesh next to her hip bones.
“Yes!” she cried, “Oh, Slade, my god, yes, faster, harder!”
“That’s what I like to hear, baby, give me all you’ve got, just let go, baby.” She spasmed around me, gripping me like a vice, her sweet, spasming pussy so hot and wet that I could barely stay in. I leaned back, pressing harder into her center, watching her face flush with the heat of pleasure.
She fell back on the pillow, laughing with pure ecstasy as she opened her thighs wider, allowing me to take the pleasure from her warm sex that she knew I needed. Now that she’d come, it was my turn.
I hammered into her, drinking in the pure beauty of her perfect curves, my body shivering with need and lust as I growled loudly, the pleasure spilling from my cock in a hot wave inside of her. She squeezed her thighs around me again, pulling me in as much as she could as I slumped against her, a slight sheen of sweet slippery sweat between us.
“That was fucking amazing,” I muttered, my heart hammering in my chest, my entire body spent and exhausted.
“It always is, my love,” she answered, kissing me in the darkness, the neon lights flashing over our naked bodies.
“You want some water?” I asked, untangling myself from her.
“Sure,” she said, lazily watching me as I threw on my boxers and walked to the bedroom door. I walked out to the kitchen, staring into our fridge.
“Daddy?” A soft voice sounded behind me.
I turned around and broke out into a huge smile as I walked to Jeremiah’s room. He was standing in his crib, his arms outstretched towards me.
“Hey, buddy!” I said, picking up my son and hugging him tightly. “What are you doing awake?”
“Wa-wa?” he asked, rubbing his sleepy eyes. I stared down at him with a huge sense of pride and love. He was born with a big head of blonde hair and he looked exactly like me, if I do say so myself. He was just starting to learn to talk and I knew exactly what ‘wa-wa’ meant.
“Sure, of course you can have some water, baby,” I replied, carrying him back into the kitchen with me. I sat him down on the counter and poured him a cup of water, bringing it to his tiny little handsome face and watching him drink.
Diana walked out, her beautiful body covered up with a black, silk robe, much to my dismay.
“Mama!” Jeremiah said, throwing his arms up in the air. She reached over and picked him up, kissing him on the cheek.
“Hi, Slade, what are you doing up this late?” she asked, pulling him in for a hug. She held him while he drank his water, and I drank in the sight of the two of them together.
“I am the luckiest motherfucker in the world,” I said, beaming at the two of them. There was a time when I was the most miserable motherfucker in the world, but not anymore. Gone were the days of being a curmudgeonly skirt-chasing ass-kickin’ prick. Now, I was a family man.
I thought I’d never see the day that I’d settle down, but apparently your best laid plans can go awry when you fall in love with the most beautiful woman in the world and accidentally impregnate her.
Of course, I knew this was no accident.
This was fate.
I was right where I needed to be and so was Diana. We fit together like the pieces of a puzzle, and once Jeremiah came along, he just completed the picture.
“Ready to go back to bed, champ?” I asked, after he’d finished his water.
He nodded his head and we headed back to his room, but he began to cry and point at Diana’s bedroom.
“You want to sleep with us?” Diana said, and he nodded, his bottom lip sticking out into the cutest pout ever.
“Alright, sweetheart,” she said, her voice soft and gentle, as she headed back to the bedroom. Jeremiah, or Slade, Jr., as Diana insisted on calling him, was one lucky boy.
“Good thing we had our time alone before he woke up,” I said, following them back into bed. We put him between us and I pulled the covers over the three of us, and we snuggled in beside him.
“He looks like one of those fat little angels,” I said.
“You mean a cherub,” Diana said, smiling over at me, her beautiful blue eyes shining with happiness.
“Yes,” I said. “No surprise, since he’s got an angel for a mama.”
“Then what does that make you?” she asked.
“One lucky motherfucker,” I replied, leaning over and kissing her again.
“Mofoker,” Jeremiah mumbled.
“Shit!” I said, looking down at him in surprise. “Did he just say motherfucker?”
“Momofoker!” he said, giggling.
I groaned with regret and yet I couldn’t help but laugh.
“We’re the lucky ones,” Diana said, laughing with me.
I put my hand on her face, stroking her cheek.
“You’re amazing, you know that?” I asked.
“Oh, I don’t know,” she said, with a dismissive wave, as we watched Jeremiah fall back asleep between us. “Hey, did Grace get in touch with Silverton? Did everything work out?”
WRECKED: GODS OF CHAOS MC, BOOK FOUR Page 10