Belinda shook her head. “You’re too close. You couldn’t do it.”
She had never seen Lance so on edge. Not even when Noah had been injured. If he was rattled as a physician, she was even more scared for Sydney and the baby.
Gramps and Noah paced the room. Portia and Nathaniel sat at opposite ends of the room. Nathaniel busied himself with papers while Portia fiddled on her iPhone.
Belinda and Lance walked over to sit next to Portia.
“Has there been any word on Sydney?” Portia asked.
“None yet,” Belinda whispered.
“I’ll go see what I can find out,” Lance offered. Belinda watched him saunter through the doors, his signature swagger nonexistent. Her heart saddened.
If Lance was blaming himself, soon the others would as well, especially if Sydney or the baby died. She bit her lip. Would she blame him as well?
What if Sydney didn’t make it? Could she marry Lance knowing he was a part of the cause? Belinda shuddered. Was her love for him stronger than such a loss?
Belinda closed her eyes. “Please let them be okay.”
The doors opened. Lance came out. His shoulders were slumped and he dragged his feet. Everyone stood and waited for him to speak.
He released a huge plume of air. “They had to perform a C-section to keep Sydney alive.” He gulped and turned bleak eyes toward Noah. “Your baby… he didn’t survive.”
“He…?” Noah stumbled. Nathaniel grabbed him and led him to a chair.
“No,” Noah said, clutching Nathaniel’s shirt. His body shook. “No… She’s going to hate me. She will hate me.”
“She’ll understand,” Gramps said.
“I had a son,” Noah said.
Janine and the others were inconsolable at this point.
Someone whispered, “God knows best,” but Belinda was too grieved to register the voice. She clutched her stomach. Lance snatched her to him. He kissed the top of her head.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he moaned.
“Please tell me she’ll be okay,” Belinda wailed.
“I can’t,” Lance said. The admission ripped into her heart.
Oh, Lord, please, no. She couldn’t bear to lose her friend.
Lance’s cell buzzed. He reached into his pocket and answered. She felt him stiffen and lifted her head.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
She raised a brow. “What is it?”
“Okay I’ll turn it on,” he said and stood. Lance walked over to the television and changed the channel. He addressed everyone in the room.
“Monica is on the news. She’s at the Skyway Bridge and threatening to jump.” He flipped the channel to Wink news.
Everyone gathered to look at the screen. Belinda gritted her teeth when she saw the Breaking News headline.
“Police have barricaded the area and a crisis prevention expert has been contacted,” the woman said. Her hair blew into her face.
Monica looked a hot mess. Her hair was disheveled, makeup streamed down her face. She was standing on the ledge of the bridge. They could see an ambulance and police officers beckoning to her.
“I have to go,” Lance said.
Belinda knew her eyes were wide. “St. Pete is ninety minutes away. You’re not going up there.”
“I have to. One life is already lost because of me. I can’t bear to have another death on my conscience.”
“She’s demented,” Belinda screamed. “I can’t believe you’re thinking about driving that distance when Sydney’s life is in danger.”
“You should go,” Noah chimed in. His voice was weak.
Belinda’s mouth popped open. “I can’t believe you agree with his harebrained idea.”
“It’s a soul,” Noah said.
She guessed he would be a pastor to the end.
“She needs to jump,” Portia said. She leaned into the screen. “Go ahead and jump.”
“Don’t say that,” Nathaniel yelled. “God doesn’t give up on people the way you do.”
Portia’s head snapped back and forth. “You don’t know me like that, so don’t come for me.” She flailed her hands. “She’s a murderer. She deserves to die.”
Lance groaned. “I’m leaving.” He jogged to the entrance before looking back at her. He crooked his head. “You coming?”
Belinda shook her head.
“I need you,” he said. His admission echoed off the walls.
So did Sydney.
She rocked back and forth.
“Go,” Noah said.
Lance’s haggard expression tugged at her heart. Then, she pictured Monica. Lance needed her there to keep that she-cat away. Belinda had to be with her man. Her friend was in God’s hands.
“I’ll call you if anything changes,” Portia said.
Belinda rushed over to Lance. “Promise me we’ll turn back if…” She couldn’t continue.
Lance nodded. “I promise.”
46
“You did it this time,” Monica mumbled. Her hair blew in the wind. The smell of the seawater tickled her toes. She wobbled slightly on the ledge. She was getting tired of the attention. “Now even God has deserted you.”
She had been driving on I-75 for about an hour when she saw the exit for the bridge. The Skyway Bridge was shaped like an upside-down letter U and scared many drivers. But not her. She knew the pinnacle was the best location.
Her shoulders slumped. If God had abandoned her, then what was the point in living? He had been guiding her before, but now all was quiet. He’d deserted her when she killed Clarendon. Monica was left on her own.
“Monica, you don’t have to do this,” the woman with square frames said. She was a psychiatrist who happened to be driving by, or so she said. Monica didn’t want to hear anything from her or anyone. She looked out at the horizon. Sunsets were magnificent in the sunshine state.
More voices. Telling her not to jump. Trying to talk her off the ledge. How was she supposed to live with herself after killing another woman’s child?
Monica covered her ears. If there wasn’t a live camera, she would have jumped already. But she didn’t want her daughter seeing it one day in the future.
If only she could rewind the clock and the voices within.
“Get away from me. Leave me alone,” she yelled. “If you don’t back off me, I’ll jump. I’ll jump.”
The woman held up a hand. “Okay. Don’t do anything rash. I’ll be over there when you’re ready to talk.”
Monica had been too overcome with rage to think straight before. Now, she realized Sydney was innocent. She covered a sob with her hands. What would Quinn think of her mother? The world would see Monica as a baby-killer. Quinn would grow to hate her.
She slipped. The crowd behind her gasped. Then, she heard a voice she knew.
“Monica.”
Monica held on to the beam and looked over at Lance. “How’d you get through the barricade?”
“Some idiot on a bicycle decided to strip on live TV. I rushed under the barricade while they were dealing with him.”
“Hey! You can’t be there,” a cop shouted.
“I know her,” Lance yelled back.
The cop rushed forward to detain him. “You need to remain behind the barricade. This is for your safety.”
This was her opportunity. “I’m sorry,” she yelled over the sounds of the ocean and took a step.
“Come down. We’ll talk,” Lance said, pushing out of the officer’s grasp.
“I can’t. It’s over for me. There’s no going back. I killed Sydney and her child.”
The officer tried to grab him but Lance dashed around him and swung up to join her on the ledge. He inched close to where she stood. “Sydney’s not dead,” he said.
Her eyes narrowed. “You’re lying.”
“No, she’s in surgery. She’s going to make it.”
Thank God. Monica moved toward him.
“Get down from there,” the cop shouted. Both Monica and L
ance ignored him.
“What about the baby?” she asked.
Lance opened his mouth and closed it. Then he gave a brief shake of the head.
“Oh no.” Her body shook.
Lance grabbed her arm. Monica jerked out of his grasp and almost lost her footing.
“Why are you even here?” Monica wailed. “You should be happy I’m ending my miserable, sorry life. I’m a liar and now I’m a coward.” She wiped her face as tears came.
“I’m here because I care.”
She snorted. “But you love Belinda.”
Lance gave her look filled with pity. “Yes. I do.”
“Was I so unlovable that you couldn’t…?” Monica trailed off. She wiped her hands on her skirt. It billowed in the wind displaying her underwear. Great. The world would know she died wearing red boy shorts.
He held out a hand. “Let’s get down so we can talk where it’s safe.”
She tilted her head. “You think I’m stupid. I’ll end up in the psych ward. Then, I’m going to jail.” She shook her head and looked down at the water. “Nope. I’m not going through that. Tell Sydney to take care of Quinn. She’s her legal guardian. Even though I betrayed her friendship when I ran off with you, she was still… the only friend I had.”
“Quinn needs you. What you need is to get better so you can take care of her.”
“Lance!” she heard behind her.
“Belinda’s here?”
He nodded.
Monica bit her lower lip. “You love her?”
He nodded, tightening his grip on her hand.
“Then I guess there’s nothing to talk about.” Monica made a move to jump. Lance reached for her with his powerful arms and shoved her to the concrete. The police grabbed her, led her to safety and strapped her in a straightjacket.
The crowd cheered.
She bent her head so her hair could cover her face. She wasn’t trying to give the camera a good angle to plaster her face all over the television screen.
Then she heard a piercing scream. “Lance!” It was Belinda’s voice.
Monica turned to see the empty space behind her. “No. No.” She tried to push her way back to the bridge. But, she was restrained. “Let me go.”
“He fell over,” someone said.
“He lost his balance,” another said.
“He died saving her,” said one with accusation.
“He should have let her jump,” yet another voice said.
“Lance.” Belinda’s heart-wrenching plea tore at Monica’s heart.
She ignored the crowds and yelled for the only man she had ever loved. Monica screamed Lance’s name until her voice was hoarse. The divers and officers searched below.
When the officers led Monica away to the patrol car, her eyes met Belinda’s. The women shared a moment of unbearable pain.
He was gone.
47
“I can’t believe you ate all your oatmeal,” Sydney said. She looked through the window of her kitchen. It was 7:30 in the morning and the sun was already on full blast. They were expecting a scorcher.
“She’s as greedy as her mother,” Belinda said, tightening her huge cotton robe around her waist.
Sydney rolled her eyes. “Don’t listen to your Aunt Belinda.” She dipped the spoon into the oatmeal and scooped up more. She fed it to Quinn. Quinn was already dressed for daycare and Sydney didn’t want her messing up her clothes.
Sydney pinned Belinda with a look and mouthed, “Stop bad-talking her mother.”
“It’s the truth,” Belinda said.
She tilted her head toward the refrigerator. “Are you going to have cereal or eggs?”
Belinda shrugged. “I’m not hungry.”
Sydney put the last spoonful of oatmeal into Quinn’s mouth. She scanned Belinda’s thin frame. “You’ve lost too much weight.”
“I know, but I don’t have an appetite. It’s been three months and I still can’t believe Lance is gone.” She sniffed into the sleeve of her robe.
“I have a hard time believing it myself.” Sydney had awakened from surgery with two pieces of devastating news. Lance’s demise and the death of her baby. She’d been inconsolable. But, God had given her Quinn and while the pain threatened to engulf her at times, she had a reason to go on living. “I know it’s hard, Bells, but try.”
Belinda gulped. “I miss him. I miss him so much. I’ll never love like that again.” Her eyes hardened. “The one good thing is that Clarendon is behind bars. I’m glad Nathaniel revealed his shady dealings. If only Lance were here to see Clarendon pay for his sins.” She held back fresh tears.
Clarendon hadn’t died from his wounds. He had been stabbed in the chest, which punctured his lungs, but the monster had survived.
Sydney gave Quinn her favorite stuffed rabbit to play with and then went to hug her friend. She believed Belinda had too much love in her and would find love again. Time. Time would heal her pain. “We just have to believe that God knows what He is doing. At least we can find comfort knowing Lance died in Christ.”
“Yes, but if he hadn’t played hero; he’d be here and we’d be getting married.” Belinda clenched her fists. “If he were here, I’d punch him. Who sent him up there? Why did he have to help her? Now he’s gone and I’m alone.”
Sydney had heard this tirade countless times before. She rocked her friend and soothed her with the right words, knowing her turn would be coming soon. Belinda would be her rock. Sydney had invited her friend into her home to recuperate.
The doorbell rang.
Belinda pulled out of her arms and wiped her face. “You should go get that. It’s probably Noah.”
At Noah’s name, Sydney touched her heart. “He’s coming to take Quinn to daycare.”
Belinda nodded. “He needs to be home with you. He’s grieving too.” She strolled out of the room. Sydney knew she wanted to give her and Noah privacy.
Sydney shook her head. Noah was fine where he was and so was she. She rushed to answer the door.
When she saw him, she drew back. His blue eyes looked brilliant with the sun as a backdrop.
“Hi, Sydney. May I come in?”
She fussed with her hair knowing she had oatmeal in the strands. “Sure. I just have to pack Quinn’s lunch and she’ll be ready to go.”
“Daddy.” Quinn said, bouncing in her booster seat.
Noah went to kiss her on the cheek. “Ready to go to school?”
“Yes. I ready.” She pumped her little legs back and forth. Sydney was amazed at how fast Quinn had become an integral part of her life. Awakening to an empty womb shattered her. Then, she’d learned about Quinn. Her first instinct had been to reject her, but God spoke to her heart.
It was the best decision of her life.
Noah eyed her with longing. Sydney forced herself to turn away from the scorch-filled gaze. She bit her lip and admitted she missed her husband. But, she wasn’t changing her mind. She couldn’t remain with the man who had made the decision to kill their child. Sydney could forgive his many lies in the name of love but now when she looked at him, all she saw was a killer.
Monica had serious mental issues, but Noah had no excuse. He was sane when he made the decision to choose her life over the baby’s.
Sydney grabbed the Dora lunch sack and put an apple inside. She hunted for the peanut butter chews. Quinn loved those.
“I miss you, honey,” Noah said.
Sydney froze. “Don’t. I don’t want to hear it.” She took Quinn out of the high chair, placed her in the playpen and turned on the television.
Noah walked up behind her. He drew close until his body was an inch away from hers. “I wish you could accept that I chose you out of love.” He touched her on the shoulder.
She snapped. “I know you love me.” She turned to face him. Her breath was in his face. “What kills me is that you didn’t love our child.”
His eyes widened. “Don’t go there. How can you say that?”
“It’s true
. You wanted me to get rid of it and when you had the chance, you took it.” Sydney spewed the hateful words at him because that’s what she believed. “You’re pretending to be heartbroken. Deep down, you’re relieved. You’re glad the baby’s gone so you don’t have to live with a special needs child.” She broke.
Noah’s eyes filled with tears. “We don’t know for sure our son had the gene. And if he did, I would have loved him. I know this because I loved my parents. I loved them with all my being. I would have cared for our child the same.”
Sydney folded her arms. “Forgive me, if I don’t believe your lies. In fact, I think you’re telling me what I want to hear.”
“It’s the truth,” he said.
“I’d prefer if you lie to me,” Sydney shot back. “Because your truth is twisted and sordid.”
“I go potty,” Quinn yelled.
Sydney dropped the conversation and spurred into action. She raced to take Quinn to the bathroom. She had learned through experience that Quinn had five seconds after her announcement before the big flow.
“You’re such a good girl,” Noah said from behind her.
Sydney rolled her eyes but gritted her teeth. No matter how she felt about Noah, she wouldn’t interfere with Quinn’s opportunity to have a caring father. Every girl needed one. As a child, she had yearned for a daddy. She’d spent many nights crying herself to sleep, wishing she had a father around.
Quinn held out her arms for Noah to pick her up. Noah complied and lifted her onto the counter to wash her hands.
Sydney got the rest of Quinn’s things together and waited for them to return to the room. She handed the lunch sack to Noah.
He walked to the door holding her hand. Then he stopped. “I want you to know, I’d do it again.”
Her mouth hung open. “Wh—what?” She gave Noah her full attention and held her tongue. She would hear him out.
“I would still choose you.” He spoke with authority and certainty. “I could have another baby and I want to, but I can’t have another wife like you. You’re a phenomenal woman, Sydney Charleston. My soul mate for life. There is no one else for me and there never will be. So, yes, I’d choose you again if I had to and I’m done apologizing for it.”
Lie to Me Page 18