Faceless

by Cole, Martina

  Louise Carter felt as if she had been slapped in the face.

  ‘How could you do this to me, Luce? Knowing the state I’m in thanks to that bitch Marie, how could you come here and do this to me? Your own mother. Have you no decency, no compassion?’

  Lucy shook her head and said in a bored voice, calculated to inflict on her mother the maximum hurt, ‘Nah. None whatsoever. But then, I had a good teacher, didn’t I? You, Mum.’

  ‘Get out!’

  Lucy laughed at her mother’s display of anger.

  ‘But I have a visitor for you, Mum. You don’t get many, being so unpopular, like. What with the neighbours avoiding you like the plague and that.’

  She chuckled at her own wit.

  ‘I said, get out, Lucy, and don’t come back!’

  The old Lou was back with a vengeance now and she was furious.

  Lucy called over her shoulder, ‘Come on in, Marie.’

  She grinned at her mother and said lightly, ‘A family reunion, Mum. Isn’t that lovely?’

  Lou’s eyes stared in horror as she saw her eldest daughter walk into the hospital room. To see the two girls together was shock enough. But Marie had the same calm look about her she had had as a small child. That accepting demeanour that had driven her mother mad whenever she had picked on her and got no reaction. It was strange because she had pushed the girl for a reaction for years and when she had finally got it, it had exploded in her face.

  ‘Hello, Mum.’

  Marie’s voice was quiet and pleasant, something her mother had forgotten. Seeing her standing there she was reminded of how she had always been a help with Lucy as a little girl. She had always loved her brother and sister. Marshall had adored Marie, preferring her company to his mother’s because Marie had always been able to make him laugh. She had been a comical person in her own dry way.

  ‘Why did you let it happen to me, Mum? I lost everything. Me kids, the best years of me life, gone.’

  Louise shook her head as if unable to believe what she was hearing.

  ‘I did it for my son, of course. Because I was not going to have that boy’s memory sullied over a pair of bloody whores. He was not going to be pulled down into the gutter with you. You tried to make him like you. You brought Patrick Connor into our lives, you with your men and your drugs and your filthiness. You broke my heart and you killed your brother. You deserved to go away in exchange for the life of my boy. Now your own child is dead you might understand what I went through over my Marshall.’

  Marie didn’t answer her for long moments. Then she said quietly, ‘I hope you live for years, Mum, in pain and alone. Me dad has a good woman now. He will find a measure of peace and I wish that for him. I hold nothing against him because, like everyone, he was terrified of you. You deliberately left me to rot. Left my children, your own flesh and blood, in care. Well, I’m the strong one now. I’m the one who is on top because I feel nothing for you any more.

  ‘I had beaten myself up for years over what I thought I had done to Caroline and Bethany, and to Marshall, and to you – yeah, even to you who despised me from the day I came out of you. All those years I was convinced I had killed my two friends when I had done nothing. Now I might have lost my poor Tiffany, but I still have my son and he’s a good kind boy. He passed all his exams and is on his way to university. I also have my grand-daughter, my Tiff’s little one, so all in all I have more than you ever had or ever will have. Because they are in my life through choice, not through emotional blackmail or fear like we were in yours.’

  Lucy listened with a mixture of fear of her mother’s possible reaction and complete and utter shock at the calm way Marie was recounting all that had happened to her. If it had been her, she would have been screaming the place down.

  ‘Come on, Luce, let’s go and have some lunch. This place gives me the creeps.’

  Louise watched as her two daughters left the room. At the door Marie turned and said, ‘I understand Dad wants this all to become common knowledge, so I thought I’d better warn you.’

  Then they were gone without a backward glance.

  Lucy was finding it hard to accept she was sitting in this beautiful house with her nephew and sister and actually enjoying herself. She watched as Jason smiled at his mother and felt a lump form in her throat. She had told him what had really happened all those years ago, and he, like his mother, seemed happier for the news. Even that Verbena bird she had been warned about seemed friendly.

  Lucy still wondered at her sister, though. How could she accept what had happened to her without any show of bitterness or anger? Lucy supposed it was the years of prison. It took a certain type of person to be able to put up with that amount of time away from everything and everyone they knew without cracking up.

  It seemed all Marie was interested in now was building a solid relationship with her son and grand-daughter, and who could blame her for that? Unlike most people she actually had her priorities right.

  Lucy was pleased with the relationship that was blossoming between her sister and herself too. All her bitterness was gone now because every time she thought of what had happened to Marie her heart felt as if it would break.

  All those years poor Marie had believed she was the cause of two deaths when all she was really guilty of was stupidity. Of being an addict. She had even said that maybe it was a good thing it had happened because she would probably have been dead now, the way she had been carrying on. It was the bigness of her, the forgiveness in her heart, that made Lucy feel sad for her. She knew she would never have been so good about it if it had been her.

  One thing was sure, their mother was no longer a part of their lives and that in itself was helping Lucy to build a new relationship with her sister.

  Verbena felt her husband’s hand in hers and sighed with relief. It had been a frightening few days when he had given her the ultimatum: either sort herself out or they would part. Now as she watched her son and his natural mother she made herself smile and function normally, and if it got too much for her she just went out to the garden or up to her bedroom.

  She was not going to lose her man over Marie Carter. Since they had found out what had really happened even she had felt compassion for the woman. To be locked up for all that time, during the best years of her life, when she was innocent all along must have been terrible.

  It was a tragedy, but one that had given them Jason. So she couldn’t be too sorry about it no matter how hard she tried.

  She squeezed her husband’s hand tightly, aware of just how lucky she had been in life compared to so many other people.

  Marie Carter being one of them.

  Susan and Kevin sat holding hands in the garden. Since he had spoken about what had happened he was getting better in leaps and bounds. He would not be tried for murder, but for manslaughter through diminished responsibility. The entire sorry tale would come out at the trial, and what a can of worms that would open.

  Still, from Marie’s point of view it could only be a good thing. Her solicitor seemed to think that they had a good case for wrongful imprisonment as the police had failed to make a proper forensic examination and made mistakes in the arrest procedure. Added to which, Marie’s drug levels were never given in evidence in court, only the basic fact that she was an addict. It seemed she was assumed to be the perpetrator because of her reputation, and that was not enough, not nearly enough, to put someone away for so long.

  They had wanted a conviction as quickly as possible and that was what had happened. Marie, believing she had committed the murders, never tried to defend herself.

  But whatever miscarriage of justice had happened, Marie was just pleased the years of remorse and shame were over now the truth was known. That seemed to be enough for her.

  As if she had been conjured up, Marie came into the garden with Lucy and a young man. A handsome young man.

  They came quickly across the grass to Susan and Kevin. She saw Kevin’s eyes light up as he recognised his daughters, then h
is face froze as he saw the boy.

  ‘Marshall?’

  Marie smiled as they all sat down.

  ‘I know, Dad. Uncanny, ain’t it? Jason, this is your grandad.’

  Her voice was matter-of-fact and helped ease the situation.

  ‘Hello, sir.’

  Jason held out his hand and Kevin grasped it and held it to his cheek. Tears were standing in his eyes as he said, ‘Don’t worry. I’m crying from happiness. I never thought I would see the day when I finally had all me family around me.’

  He looked at his daughters and grandson as if frightened they would disappear if he took his eyes off them for one moment.

  Marie sat and felt the peace she had craved for years wash over her as they all chatted together like a normal family.

  She only wished her Tiffany could have experienced this day with them. Had lived to find out that her mother was not the monster they had all thought.

  But one thing she had learned in prison was that regrets were a waste of time. She was living for the future now and putting the past firmly behind her.

  Epilogue

  The man tending his wife’s grave saw the woman with the little girl and smiled. They came every week to the cemetery and she always said hello to him and he was always happier after they had spoken.

  She was a very attractive woman, with a wistful smile and a lovely nature, it was plain to see.

  She knelt down to place flowers on her daughter’s grave and he smiled to himself as the little girl’s voice drifted over to him.

  ‘Hello, Mummy. I done writing at school, and drawing.’

  He liked the way this woman encouraged the child to talk to her mother. Tell her about all the little events in her life. She seemed an extraordinarily kind person.

  Marie watched Annie, as she was now called, dancing for her mummy. Since going to ballet she had decided she was the next Margot Fonteyn. Marie suppressed a smile as Annie danced on the grass. She was all legs, was going to be very tall, that much was evident. Lorraine and Peter gave her such a good life and the fact they allowed Marie to be a part of it too made her feel happier each and every time she hugged her grand-daughter to her.

  ‘Look at me, Nana, I’m dancing!’

  ‘I can see you, sweetie.’

  ‘Can Mummy see me? Mummy Tiffany?’

  Marie nodded.

  ‘I told you, Mummy is in heaven. She is in every flower you see and every butterfly and in the clouds and in the trees.’

  ‘She’s taking care of me, isn’t she?’

  Marie nodded.

  ‘She’s with you all the time, sweetie. All the time.’

  They sat together on the prickly grass. Marie unpacked the little picnic she always brought. As she laid a cloth on the ground she was greeted by different people as they made their way to their own loved ones’ graves. She was a fixture here and it gave her a measure of peace to come here and be with her daughter as she had never been with her in her child’s life.

  ‘I love chocolate cake.’

  ‘I know, Annie, that’s why I brought it.’

  The little girl kissed her on the lips, a big fat smacking kiss that made Marie laugh.

  ‘Is that a chocolate cake kiss?’

  Annie nodded and bit into the sweet confection with relish. ‘Oh!’ She put her hand to her mouth, her eyes wide. ‘I forgot to tell Mummy where we’re going later.’

  She looked at the photo of Tiffany on the gravestone and said happily, ‘We’re going to the cinema and then to Burger King with Grandad Kevin, Sue and Auntie Lucy!’

  ‘Hello.’

  Marie looked up to see the tall black man who tended his wife’s grave every Sunday. Over the last two years they had got on to first-name terms.

  ‘Hello, Easton.’ She smiled. ‘Beautiful day, isn’t it?’

  He nodded.

  ‘It certainly is.’

  He looked at Annie and said kindly, ‘I heard you say you were going to Burger King, you lucky girl.’

  She grinned.

  ‘That’s right. With my nana.’

  ‘Would you like a cold drink, Easton?’

  It had become a regular thing, his dropping by to talk to them both.

  ‘I would, Marie, if you don’t mind.’

  He seated himself on the grass beside her.

  ‘How’s work?’

  She shrugged.

  ‘The usual. I enjoy it, though. Teaching is rewarding. A bit like your job, I should imagine.’

  He nodded his agreement.

  ‘Only if I win my case. If I don’t then it’s not too good.’

  She didn’t answer. He was a barrister and she knew he knew all about her. It seemed everyone did these days. Her father’s trial had been big news in its day, as had hers. Both had been acquitted, although for different reasons. Then Easton surprised her with a question.

  ‘What are you doing after Burger King?’

  She shrugged.

  ‘Going back to my flat. Catching up on some housework. The usual Sunday routine. Annie’s parents pick her up around seven on a Sunday.’

  He took a deep breath and said lightly, ‘How about a drink later, or a meal?’

  Marie was nonplussed for a few moments and then she looked into his kind brown eyes and said gently, ‘A drink would be lovely, Easton, thank you.’

  He was really smiling now.

  ‘The pleasure, Marie, is all mine.’

  Out of the corner of her eye she could see her mother struggling to get to her brother’s grave but Marie ignored her though they were very much aware of one another. Marie had already laid her own flowers there when she had first arrived. She knew her mother watched Annie, and especially Jason, when they came here. She must have noticed his uncanny resemblance to Marshall.

  ‘Can I give you a lift to the cinema?’

  ‘That would be lovely, thank you.’

  A little later they strolled out of the cemetery together, Marie holding Annie’s hand and the little girl chattering away twenty to the dozen as usual. Her mother was only five yards away at one point but Marie still ignored her.

  Instead she said loudly to Annie, ‘Wave goodbye to Mummy, darling.’

  Annie turned and waved in the direction of Tiffany’s grave.

  The sun was high and the breeze was cool and her Annie was a beautiful and graceful child. Marie knelt down and held out her arms. The child hugged her tightly. Over the little girl’s shoulder Marie looked directly into her mother’s eyes.

  She was telling Louise that there was a little girl with the whole world waiting for her. Unlike her mother and grandmother had done, she had people who loved her and cared for her and were going to make sure she had every chance available.

  ‘I love you, Nana!’

  Marie hugged her even tighter.

  ‘And I love you, tiger!’

  She picked up the little girl and carried her, laughing, to Easton’s car. Marie’s life was all laughter these days and she wouldn’t change any of it for the world.