The Bridesmaid

by Nina Manning

  I felt happy and content this year, especially as Chuck would be visiting in a few days’ time and I hadn’t seen him since the end of last summer. He didn’t visit over Christmas and New Year as he had been skiing in Canada with family and friends, apparently. I had thought about sending a letter, but to ask Caitlin for his address would have been too embarrassing. But now the time had almost arrived to see him again, and I knew I now felt like a different sort of girl, more a woman than I had been when I last saw him, and I shuddered at the thought of what Chuck might make of me. He was almost a man now at sixteen, and he was never one to mince his words.

  ‘I’ve decided to put on a play,’ Caitlin announced suddenly.

  ‘What sort of play?’ I said as I swirled my toes in the pool.

  ‘Much Ado about Nothing.’ She said it as though I wouldn’t have heard of it. And she was right.

  I shook my head, ready for her goading to come, but she hadn’t seemed to care this visit that I was not always on the same wavelength as her culturally.

  ‘It’s Shakespeare,’ she said.

  ‘Right.’

  ‘I don’t imagine you’ve heard of it.’ I felt the familiar sharp tug of shame at not being as well read as Caitlin. ‘It’s not Hamlet or Romeo and Juliet, but there’s a marriage in it and it’s funny and witty and sharp, and I think things need livening up around here, don’t you agree? I mean the most amount of excitement happened last year when the travellers arrived. It’s been frightfully dull since.’

  I had to agree with Caitlin, although I was surprised to hear she had referred to the traveller chapter as exciting; it wasn’t how she had seen it a year ago. But it was another event that had cemented us together. Caitlin even laughed about it from time to time. I guess it went to show that she was maturing and growing, and I felt in that moment that I wanted to show my friend how I felt. I shimmied up to her and put my arm around her and leant my head on her shoulder.

  She jumped at the initial intimacy as she always did, and then she seemed to allow my body to relax onto the weight of hers. I heard a click, and I turned around to see where the noise had come from. Caitlin must have heard it too as she swung around as well. Ava was directly behind us, about four feet away, standing next to a cluster of peonies with her camera in her hand, aiming it at the bush.

  ‘Mama, are you taking photos of flowers again?’ Caitlin strained to look over her shoulder.

  ‘Yes. You can use this one in your botanical class. Aren’t they, divine? There’s nothing quite like the peony flower, the way they are so closed up tight and then expand so dramatically. It really is a sight to behold.’ Ava aimed the camera at a large tight pink bud.

  Caitlin turned back to me and whispered, ‘I really cannot believe that she thinks that I am as interested in botanical drawing as she is. It’s so not my bag.’

  I laughed at how Caitlin had adopted one of my phrases. It was the sort of thing she would usually say out loud on purpose in front of Ava to really wind her up, but she knew her mother was quite taken with the painting and I think secretly Caitlin enjoyed it too. She had produced some exquisite pieces, and it seemed to be the one thing that both mother and daughter enjoyed. Maybe this was why Caitlin was reluctant to admit her interest to me. But as Caitlin had said to me a few years ago, when she told me her secret about being the sole heir to the estate and everything in it, old houses hold secrets, and I was fast becoming adept at sensing and knowing more things about this family. More so than they would ever know.

  ‘So, how will this play work?’ I ask, changing the subject.

  ‘Well, you’ll be in it, and the cousins and the twins. And Chuck. He and I will marry. You’ll be the bridesmaid,’ Caitlin said, as though it was the most obvious thing.

  I felt my gut tighten, and for some reason I had an overwhelming urge to push Caitlin into the pool. Bridesmaid? Of course, Caitlin was going to be the bride and marry Chuck and I would just be on the sidelines. It was exactly how Caitlin worked; everything was orchestrated around her to suit her own agenda. And this play was just another example of how needy and attention-seeking she was. I couldn’t believe moments earlier I had thought that Caitlin was beginning to change and mature. But above all of that, I had a suspicious feeling that she was going to try and keep Chuck’s attentions as far away from me as possible.

  I spent an idle afternoon with Caitlin around the estate. We had no desire to run off to the woods or hideaway as we once did. We seemed more content in the company of adults and inhabiting their world rather than needing to be far away. Our minds were so full of private thoughts and secrets that we would simply whisper them to one another, much to the annoyance of Ava, but again I would watch as Caitlin took great pleasure in winding her mother up.

  I also noted how Ava watched us with great interest and intent. Had she always done that? When we were two little girls who wanted to run off into the forest and never be found, had I just been that little bit too young to notice, or was it something she had only started doing recently? I would often look up when Caitlin and I were deep in conversation and catch Ava staring at us, a look of sadness etched across her face. Did our friendship still disappoint her after all this time?

  When Chuck and some of her cousins arrived two days later, Caitlin was all geared up and ready to assign roles and lines for people to learn. She had printed out a shortened-down version of the script on Maxwell’s printer in his study. The play would fast forward to all the exciting bits and ‘cut out all the dull, boring bits’, as Caitlin put it. She had somehow managed to convince Ava that she could borrow her ivory vintage wedding gown for use during the performance. I think Ava was secretly pleased she could get the gown out and show it off after many years of it being stored in the attic. Caitlin was under strict instructions that it must only be worn during the performance and taken straight off and put away afterwards.

  Chuck and I found ourselves alone in the drawing room not long after he had arrived. I had expected to see that he had grown an inch or two, but he had filled out a lot too. He had always been quite skinny, and I wasn’t prepared for quite how much his hair had thickened, his jaw had squared out and his voice had dropped to a much deeper level.

  ‘How has the year been treating you so far, Sash?’ Chuck had taken to shortening my name at the end of last year. He was wearing a blue blazer and jeans with a blue-and-white striped shirt underneath. It was a typical Chuck outfit: smart and casual, all wrapped in one. He leant against the side of the sofa as he spoke to me.

  ‘Really good, thank you.’ I could feel the heat rising through my body, my voice was high and my throat dry. ‘How about you? How was your New Year?’

  ‘Fabulous. Canada is an absolute riot. You know you should come out one year, if your parents let you. You’re almost sixteen, right?’

  ‘I’ve just turned fourteen and you know it, Chuck!’ I turned away, embarrassed.

  ‘Oh yes.’ Chuck looked down at where Pippy and Purdy had run in wagging their tails. He bent down to fuss the dogs, and I felt it was a relief for both of us from a moment that had suddenly become charged with a kind of energy I hadn’t experienced before.

  Josephine came in, disrupting any uncomfortableness with her usual flourish.

  ‘Oh, hello, you two. You should be off rehearsing your parts for this play, surely? Can’t let Caitlin down,’ Josephine said, laughing as she clicked her tongue and the dogs followed her out of the drawing room and towards the back door.

  ‘It’s a lovely day,’ I said, looking towards where Josephine had gone.

  ‘Yes, we should be out in it, shouldn’t we?’

  We looked awkwardly at one another for a few moments, and it was one of the rare times that I had seen Chuck lost for words. Eventually he spoke.

  ‘Gosh, you really did get pretty, Sasha,’ he said, and I felt my stomach flip over a few times. I smiled softly and managed to hold his gaze for a few seconds before I felt the familiar burn of my cheeks.

  ‘You got yo
urs?’ I lifted the script that had been pressed firmly into my hand earlier under the strict instructions to learn my lines properly.

  ‘Oh, um, yes.’ Chuck pushed himself away from the sofa and held up his script, which he had pulled from his back pocket. ‘Some excellent bedtime reading right here. I thought I was coming for a nice relaxing break, but—’

  ‘But instead you get to do something far more cultural!’ Caitlin swept into the room; she had changed into a vibrant purple skirt, which floated around as she walked.

  ‘And Sasha is going to be our bridesmaid.’ She leant into Chuck and he put an arm around her shoulder. I looked down at my feet.

  ‘Ahh, I see. I didn’t know there was a bridesmaid in Much Ado about Nothing?’ Chuck sounded as though he were mocking Caitlin.

  ‘There is in this version,’ Caitlin snapped and pulled herself away from Chuck. ‘And it’s going to be simply wonderful.’ Caitlin spun around.

  Chuck and I looked at each other for a few seconds, before Caitlin dragged him by the arm and pulled him from the room, the conversation between us truly over. The look between Chuck and I could have said a multitude of things, but in my mind I felt as though for the first time ever I was truly being seen.

  The next few days of the holidays were spent reading the script, and I was glad to see I didn’t have too many speaking lines. I highlighted my parts and made sure I knew the lines of the person who was speaking just before me, which I would use as a prompt. Caitlin was suitably impressed with me during rehearsals and praised me constantly throughout.

  ‘Quite a studious little mouse, aren’t we?’ she said to me in private on the third day, when everyone had run out to the pool for a swim.

  I shrugged my shoulders, and she smacked me on the back. ‘Come on, let’s get our costumes on.’

  Another three days later and we were ready to perform the short – and according to Chuck, massively edited – version of Much Ado About Nothing. It was barely anything like the original. Caitlin had basically taken the characters from the play and created her own version. Chuck praised Caitlin, saying it was nothing short of genius.

  The adults had gathered in the drawing room, where the chairs had been pushed back into a semi-circle so that the space in front became a stage. Caitlin’s cousin, Rick, a twelve-year-old spectacle-wearing stubby little boy, was the narrator. He received endless uproars of laughter, which were, of course, all of Caitlin’s words.

  The marriage scene arrived. I was already in the drawing room, but Caitlin wanted to make an entrance. We had briefly walked through the lines of this scene, but Caitlin was adamant she wanted it to appear fresh for us as well as the audience, so she and Chuck had gone off together many times to rehearse alone. I couldn’t help but feel as though some of the extra rehearsals they put in together were not needed, and that Caitlin was just trying to get Chuck away from me.

  As Caitlin took to the stage, which was just the rug in front of the fireplace, everyone oohed and ahhed at Ava’s wedding dress, which sat a little loose on Caitlin’s shoulders and the hem almost reached the floor.

  Chuck and Caitlin, who played Benedick and Beatrice, two ‘enemies’ tricked into confessing their love for one another, were now centre stage. Chuck was wearing a suit and tie, and Caitlin had a bouquet of flowers from the garden, which I had been instructed to hold, as apparently that’s what bridesmaids do. I stood by dutifully, ready to hand back the bouquet of flowers. My costume for the play was a light-pink ballet tutu over pink leggings and a pink T-shirt. Nothing from Caitlin’s dressing-up box fitted us any more, but I liked the modern, improvised look.

  Caitlin’s cousin, Lucy, was the vicar. She stumbled on the words – ‘Holy matron-only’ – which made the adults laugh. Then she said, ‘I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.’ Caitlin didn’t hold back and leapt on Chuck in a comedy style, kissing him hard on the lips. I heard a few loud gasps, then the audience erupted into applause. I looked the longest at Ava and Maxwell, who looked pleased and embarrassed all at once.

  My lines felt like a bit of an anticlimax after Caitlin and Chuck’s marriage scene, but I said them with perfect clarity. And although I had a slight bit of stage fright, I felt I did a great job, and Mum and Dad and Hunter clapped the loudest and longest at the end when we all took our bows. Then they came rushing over to me, their arms open, Mum pulling me into an embrace first. ‘You were amazing, love. Well done, we loved all of it, you said your lines so well, all that practice paid off!’

  I squeezed myself out of Mum’s embrace, as I could sense Caitlin’s stare. I glanced at her, and she looked away awkwardly, then out towards the room where Maxwell and Ava still sat, looking around the room at anywhere but at their daughter. Troy and Able arrived at Caitlin’s feet and jumped up and down, trying to get her attention. She ignored their requests and fell into a conversation with her cousin next to her.

  Everyone made their way to the dining room, where Judith had laid out a spread of sandwiches, crisps, cakes and Party Rings. There were also jugs of blackcurrant squash and orange juice and pots of tea for the adults. There was a real sense of camaraderie in the room as the adults went around congratulating us all, and I felt like part of a team, as though we had all achieved something great. Which I supposed we had. I had been part of a few plays at school but they hadn’t felt anything like this, with all the adults making such a fuss of us, and Judith running around topping up our beakers with squash.

  I spotted Ava and Maxwell coming our way where I stood with Caitlin at the end of the table. Mum and Dad had finally stopped telling me what an absolute natural I was and that they were signing me up for acting lessons imminently to go off for a cup of tea on the other side of the dining room where Judith was cutting them a huge slice of chocolate cake each.

  ‘What did you think, Mama?’ Caitlin said loudly and theatrically, still high on the performance and now on Ribena. She put her hand out in front of her and took another bow.

  ‘Congratulations, darling,’ Maxwell said and leant in and kissed Caitlin. ‘A blinding performance. Absolute triumph. I must get back to my office now, darling, but enjoy the afterparty!’ and he walked out of the dining room.

  Ava and Caitlin were left looking at one another. I sipped my Ribena, trying to sink into the background, but I was already tightly pressed against the wall.

  ‘I think, Caitlin, you need to slip out of that dress immediately. That was, after all, the agreement.’ Ava spoke quietly, but sternly and then she turned to someone behind her and began smiling and chatting.

  Caitlin’s face went from pure elation to one of absolute anger and disgust. I had developed a sixth sense around Caitlin and could feel the build-up to something. Had I not been blocked in by the table on one side and Caitlin on the other, then I would have avoided her hand coming towards my hand that was clutching a beaker of Ribena. But once she had my hand tightly in her own, she poured my blackcurrant drink straight down her chest.

  She followed up the act abruptly with an appropriate scream, which alerted the entire room. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked over at Caitlin. It was like a horrific epilogue to the play that had turned gruesome as the bride stood there with red liquid splashed all down the front of what I could only presume was an incredibly expensive wedding dress. Ava’s wedding dress. The wedding dress she had asked Caitlin to remove just moments ago.

  Judith sucked in an audible breath and scurried off to the kitchen, returning moments later with a cloth. By this point, a crowd had formed around Caitlin, who had perfected a shock expression. ‘I was going to change out of it, and Sasha spilt her juice on me,’ Caitlin said to her audience. Judith was in front of her, holding the cloth but not really knowing what to do, as the fabric was incredibly fine.

  A loud jumble of incoherent whines and protests escaped my mouth. Mum and Dad both looked over at me.

  Ava took a few steps back towards Caitlin, and the room hushed as the crowds parted like the Red Sea with
Ava as Moses. She didn’t even look at the dress – I presumed she had seen the damage from where she had been stood – she just looked at Judith and quietly said:

  ‘Thank you, Judith, but I fear your efforts are in vain. The dress is ruined.’ And she turned and left the room.

  My body was flooded with adrenaline. I didn’t know what to do with the emotions that churned in my stomach. Caitlin was last seen heading to the tennis court. She had removed the dress, which was only over the top of her vest and shorts, thrown it on the floor and ran from the room. Mum and Dad had tried to comfort me, telling me it wasn’t my fault.

  ‘No, it wasn’t my fault, Mum!’ I wailed as we walked through the courtyard back to our cottage. But I didn’t want them to see Caitlin in a bad light, so I didn’t tell them about how she had grabbed my hand.

  ‘It’s okay, Sasha, accidents happen,’ Dad said, but I saw the side look he gave Mum. I think they were both aware of how Caitlin could be by now, but neither of them could bear to acknowledge the behaviour they had just witnessed. For if we all discussed it, it would become real, something we would have to deal with. And as much as Mum and Dad were not particularly keen on me spending as much time as I did with Caitlin, I was too deep into my friendship with her to pull away from her now, and to do so could have a ripple effect on their jobs.

  Out on the driveway, I looked out towards the tennis court; the gate was open, but from where we were, I couldn’t see inside. Usually I could hear the rhythmic echo of a racket hitting a ball, but there was nothing. Then I spotted her on the hammock stretched between two trees near the end of the drive.

  ‘There’s Caitlin.’ I pointed.

  ‘Ahh, okay, love. I think maybe give her some time alone to thin—’ Dad’s voice cut off as I began running over to the hammock. When I arrived, Caitlin’s eyes were closed, the hammock swinging gently.

  ‘Why did you blame me?’ I said, shocked by the anger in my voice.