Reliving Fate

by Natasha Preston

  "When's your next fight?" he asks, finally changing the subject.

  "I don't know. Soon, if you don't stop being a dickhead."

  "That's the second time you've threatened violence toward me tonight."

  "Keep it up, and there will be a third," I say, smirking. "Right, we have a couple of hours, so I say we get fucked up on JD, and I kick your arse on the Xbox."

  I might not watch TV, but I do occasionally kill people on the console.

  FORTY-TWO

  * * *

  BELLA

  When I get home--or rather, to my parents' house--Mum's car is gone.

  It's good they're not here because they wouldn't leave me in peace to pack, but I do have to wait for them to get back before I go. Leaving a note is a coward's way out, appealing though. There is probably going to be more shouting.

  I head straight for my room where I pack clothes, makeup, toiletries, a hair dryer, and a phone charger. Anything else, I can get another time.

  I'm just zipping up my suitcase when Livvy walks into my room.

  "Bella, I'm--" She stops talking as she notices what I'm doing.

  Great. I was hoping I would only have to do this once.

  "Where are you going?"

  Standing the case up, I pull out the handle. "To Rocco's. I don't want to be here after what Dad's done. Mum even had the audacity to defend him. How dare they. I fucking hate them for what they said about Rocco, and I would rather sleep on the streets than be here."

  "Bella, I agree they made a really bad decision to accuse him of cheating, but you can't just leave like this. Stay, and we can all sit down and talk. It's not too late to repair this."

  "Yes, it is too late. They promised to give Rocco a chance, and look what happened. They've made it very clear that they'll never be okay with Rocco. Despite not wanting to go to the fair after the way they treated him the first time, he went because it was important to me. He didn't have to give them a second chance, but he did, and I think that was pretty big of him. What did he get in return, Liv?"

  "I understand that, and I'm with you. They behaved appallingly, but they're your parents, and you can't just leave."

  "Oh, I can."

  "And you expect me to tell them for you? That is so typical of you, Bella."

  I roll my eyes. "Calm down before you hyperventilate. I'm not running off. I'll wait until they get home and explain face-to-face."

  Shaking her head, she groans. "You're making a big mistake."

  "No, I'm not. The only mistake I made is thinking they would be supportive of something I wanted."

  "They love us both the same."

  "They don't like us both the same though. If it were you with Rocco, they would have gotten to know him. They would have been polite even if they hated him. Why not for me, too, huh?"

  "Come on, Bells, I think that's obvious."

  I glare.

  What does that mean?

  "I'm not so sure it is. Enlighten me."

  "Well, your attitude to begin with. You're moody and withdrawn. You act like you're constantly bored in our company. You make no secret of the fact that you'd rather be with Nana and Grandad--whose house you should be running off to by the way--and you keep a serious relationship from us."

  "And?"

  She rolls her eyes. "And that makes you hard to trust. Not to mention, you're throwing your future away by not accepting a uni place."

  "Get a grip, Liv. You act like I should just die now and get it over with if I'm not attending uni. I really think you need to have a word with yourself."

  "Don't do this."

  "I've made my decision, and there is nothing you can say to make me change it. I don't want to be here."

  "How long will you be gone? Dad already feels terrible, and he knows he's made a huge mistake."

  "I'm not coming back. I'm moving in with Rocco. That's where I'll live."

  "Jesus, Bella! You can't move in with someone you barely know. What the hell happened to you?"

  "Mum and Dad happened. I would've moved in with him eventually anyway, so it doesn't matter."

  Livvy folds her arms. "Really? You sound so immature right now. It's only been a couple of months!"

  "You can talk. When you and Harry first got together, you were going to die of old age together at the seaside...or something like that."

  "It's different. Harry and I don't live in different worlds."

  "Well, neither do me and Rocco. Now, we're about to live in the same flat."

  She laughs without humour. "I cannot believe you're doing this."

  "Believe it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get my suitcase downstairs and wait for the parents."

  She steps aside, shaking her head in disapproval. Good thing I've never cared about her opinion of my life.

  "This'll kill Mum and Dad after Celia."

  "You would think that, after Celia's death, they would be more pro as long as my kid is happy rather than only thinking about what they wanted for said kid."

  Her mouth closes and thins. She has nothing to come back at me with because she knows I'm right. They know Rocco is in my life to stay, and Dad still chose to try and come between me and Rocco.

  I'm done.

  Livvy follows me downstairs, watching me struggle with getting the heavy case to the ground floor. It comes as no surprise that she doesn't offer any help. I wheel my belongings over to the sofa and sit in the seat closest to the door. A quick getaway will be good.

  I'm so nervous that my stomach is churning over.

  My twin sits opposite me, waiting.

  I look everywhere but at her.

  How long have we had that stupid glass swan ornament on the fireplace?

  The harder I look around the living room, the more I notice. When Celia died, I tried not to look too hard. It really hurt.

  I've missed a lot of changes.

  I still see her dead body on the floor though. That's one thing that will never change.

  I sit back and wait impatiently.

  Finally, forty-nine minutes later, I hear Mum's car.

  Livvy sits up straight. I stand and grab my case.

  Showtime.

  "Good luck," Livvy mutters.

  I smile sarcastically at her. "You're about to be left with them. It's not me who needs luck."

  She's going to have to listen to Mum and Dad going on and on about how stupid I am and how it won't be long before I come crawling back.

  Liv says something else, but I don't hear because the front door opens. Mum notices me straightaway, and her face falls. Dad takes a few seconds. He closes the door and kicks off his shoes. But, when he does look up, he stills.

  "Isabella, what's going on?" Mum asks cautiously.

  "I don't want another argument, but I couldn't leave without telling you face-to-face."

  "Leave? Where the hell do you think you're going?" Dad snaps.

  He knows where I'm going, but I reply anyway, "To Rocco's. I can't be here, not after yesterday."

  Walking closer, he pins me to the spot with his stare. "Don't be ridiculous. You're not going to that man's house."

  "That man? Are you serious, Dad? My God, why did I bother staying? I should've left a note and taken off as soon as I was packed."

  Lesson learned.

  "Take your bag upstairs, Isabella."

  "No."

  Keep your cool.

  "Let's calm down for a minute," Mum says, pleading with Dad, fearful that he will drive me away.

  Too late; it's already happened. I can't believe I used to be close to Dad. The man standing in front of me is nothing like the Dad I used to know.

  "There's no point, Mum. We can't agree. He won't listen, and he'll never give Rocco a fair shot. That's a deal-breaker for me. I don't want to live here anymore. It's toxic, and I'm worried something will be said that we can never come back from. I love you both, but I can't be around you."

  Mum walks closer, almost stumbling, as if her legs are weak. "Don't be si
lly. This isn't irreparable. Tell her," she says, demanding for Dad to back her up.

  She wants him to back down, but he's not going to do that. In his eyes, he's right, and Rocco is the worst person in the world for me. Dad won't accept him, and he will watch me walk out of this house.

  "I tried to tell her how insane I think this is," Livvy says, butting in where her opinion is not fucking wanted.

  "Liv, you're already the golden girl shitting glitter and making them proud. This doesn't concern you, so sit down."

  "Is that what all this nonsense is about?" Dad asks.

  "No. God, I'm not jealous of Livvy, and I definitely don't want her life. I like my life. It's just unfortunate that you hate it so much."

  "That undesirable man isn't your life, Isabella. You're eighteen, and right now, you're making so many mistakes that it's hard to pick the biggest one."

  Like he doesn't think me moving out is the biggest one.

  "You need to take a step back and think about what you're doing and where you're going. You've been with him a matter of months."

  "I need to take a few steps that way," I say, pointing to the front door. "Then, I need to get to Rocco's. See? I know what I'm doing."

  "Yes, you sound like you have it all planned out."

  Dad's not sarcastic often. I'm almost proud.

  "I have enough planned out, and the rest, I'll deal with as it comes. Sorry that's not good enough for you, but I'm not like you, Mum, and Livvy. If you would stop trying to force me into that mould, maybe we'd get on better, and maybe you wouldn't be losing me right now."

  "Isabella," Mum sobs. She turns to Dad and points at me. "Do something! You can't just let her walk out. It's not worth this. Can't you see that? I don't think he's the best match for her, but I'm not willing to risk my relationship with her over it."

  She pleads a good case, but it's hopeless. He's as stubborn as me, more so probably. He's right, and I'm wrong, and that's all he'll ever see. Fucking hurts.

  "Mum, I'll call you tomorrow," I say.

  She's so upset, and it doesn't feel good at all. At least she can see sense. He's making me choose, and that's completely unfair. Rocco has done nothing wrong to warrant this treatment, and I stand with him.

  "I can't sit back and watch her make a mistake with him," Dad says.

  He's willing to lose me over this, and it makes my heart ache. This isn't how it's supposed to go.

  But this is getting us nowhere.

  I don't ask Livvy if I can take the car because I still have the key, and I need to go. I'll get it back to her, and she can have it to herself. I've got savings, so I can get something else.

  "Isabella," Mum says, panicked, as I walk toward the door. "No, please don't go, not like this. Talk to me. Tell me what you need, and I'll make it happen."

  "You can't, Mum. Look, I'll speak to you tomorrow. We can meet up sometime, okay?"

  She grabs my hand. "Don't do this."

  "I can't stay. I love him, Mum, and I shouldn't have to give him up because you and Dad have decided you don't like him."

  "I know. I'll try harder, I promise. He's not a bad person. We just don't know him yet. Invite him over, and we can all have a big discussion. We'll clear the air and--"

  "Mum! That's not going to happen."

  What planet does she live on?

  I understand she's desperate, and that kills me, but every person in this room knows I'm not staying, and Rocco's not coming over for a fucking chat.

  "Bells, listen to Mum," Livvy pipes up as I'm reaching for the door.

  "I'll text you when I get home, Liv, okay?"

  Mum presses her hand to her mouth and sobs, and my heart falls out of my chest.

  I need to leave.

  Turning the handle, I shove my case out first, and then I'm free. Dashing to the car, I yank the boot open, shove the case in, and get in the driver's seat.

  I take a breath.

  Bugger. I've moved out.

  FORTY-THREE

  * * *

  BELLA

  When I get home--God, that feels weird--Rocco is in the kitchen with Ellis. They're both glossy-eyed. Little drunks. I lift my eyebrow at them.

  Rocco is on his feet and in front of me the second he sees me. "Are you okay?" he asks, bending his head to look me in the eyes better.

  He wraps his arms around me, and I didn't realise how much I'd needed that until he was touching me.

  I close my eyes and sink into his embrace. "Yeah, I'm okay," I whisper.

  "Mmhmm. Truth now, please?"

  "It sucked. Mum cried, Livvy snapped, and Dad was not backing down. He let me walk out of there. He would rather I move out than admit he was wrong and try to make amends." I know we don't have the typical father-daughter relationship, but I never thought he'd willingly let me walk out of his life.

  "I'm sorry, baby."

  I snuggle my head against his shoulder and sigh. "It hurts. He's my dad."

  Damn it, I shouldn't be saying this. Rocco's dad walked away from him and died.

  "He'll realise. One day soon, he'll come running to you, full of apologies."

  "It'll be too late," I mutter against his T-shirt.

  Rocco kisses the top of my head. "No, it won't."

  "Drink, Bella?" Ellis offers, cutting in.

  Laughing, I pull away from Rocco and wipe my eyes. "A really strong one, please."

  Ellis grins. "Now, that, I can do."

  "Yeah, I can tell. How many have you two already had?"

  "Not been counting," Rocco replies. "I'm not drunk though."

  "Have you ever been drunk? Like properly drunk?"

  He's told me that he doesn't like being that vulnerable because he doesn't trust anyone, but I find it hard to believe he's never been off-his-face drunk.

  "He has once. We were twelve and in school."

  "Twelve?" My mouth drops. "Rocco!"

  One of his shoulders lifts in a lazy shrug. "School was boring."

  "Yes, but, Jesus, you were a child."

  "Everyone gets drunk."

  "Sure, but not usually just after they've watched cartoons."

  He frowns. "I never watched cartoons."

  "I swear, you've lived your whole life under a rock," I say sarcastically. I take the glass of...something from Ellis. "Thanks."

  I don't ask what it is. With him, it's probably best not to know.

  Rocco seems more concerned about what Ellis is giving me as he asks, "The fuck is that?"

  I take a sip, and, my God, I should've waited for Ellis to reply. The unidentified liquid burns on the way down.

  "Jesus," I say, pulling a face and shaking my head. "That's foul, Ellis."

  "It's not supposed to be nice. It's a bit of everything Rocco has...including a previously unopened bottle of sherry."

  "I'm sure that was here when I moved in."

  "Ew!" I slam the glass down on the counter. "That's so gross."

  "It was unopened!" Ellis defends. "Anyway, I'm going to head out and let you two talk since Rocco clearly has some questions he doesn't feel he can ask in front of me."

  "Fuck off, man," Rocco says, sighing.

  Ellis chuckles, salutes, and then leaves.

  I really like him. He's a good friend to Rocco, and he rarely takes himself seriously. He's the type of person you can be around all the time and not get bored of.

  "Has anyone tried to call you?" Rocco asks.

  I pull my phone from my pocket and check. "Mum and Livvy. They've sent messages, too."

  He pushes my hair behind my shoulders, preventing me from hiding behind it. "They're not the ones you want to get in contact, are they?"

  "I don't think Dad is going to be calling anytime soon."

  "Maybe I can try talking to him?"

  That's going right to the top of the list of things I never thought I'd hear Rocco say.

  "You want to talk to my dad?" I ask, needing confirmation that I heard that correctly.

  I don't even want to bloody tal
k to him right now. He let me walk away. I swallow a jolt of pain and consider drinking more of that disgusting concoction Ellis made.

  "Want might be stretching it. I will if I can help."

  "I don't think it will help. He's made his decision, and I want him to come to me. He's acting like me being with you is the worst thing ever--no offence--and I find that insane after what happened to Celia. He's so scared of something happening to me and Livvy that he's pushing us away. Well, just pushing me away actually. I bet, if she suddenly left Harry and got with some undesirable, he would be fine."

  Rocco's eyes light with humour. "Did he call me an undesirable?"

  I grimace. Bugger, I didn't mean to let him know that. "Kind of."

  "Yeah, maybe I won't call him."

  "Something is wrong with him, and I want no part of it until he realises how stupid he's being. I still want to see Livvy though. My mum, too. When it came down to it, she was willing to be very accepting of me and you. I know that doesn't excuse what she did the first time you came over, and she's not faultless for standing up for Dad, but--"

  "Hey, take a breath," he says. He presses two fingers to my mouth, very effectively shutting me up. "You don't have to justify having a relationship with your mum to me. She might not be my number one fan, but she loves you. I'd never stand in the way of that, babe."

  So...he's totally perfect.

  "Thank you."

  "Don't thank me...just take your top off."

  Oh, of course, that was going to follow. Charming.

  Rocco holds his hands up. "I'm joking. Is there anything I can do though?"

  "Not right now. I'm emotionally done, so I need to lie down."

  Pulling me closer, Rocco seals his mouth over mine and gives me a long kiss. It's not madly heated and urgent. It's sweet, and it makes my heart hurt in the best way. I grip his back, my nails cutting into his T-shirt, and his hands find my hair. He twists a chunk around his hand, and he holds me exactly where he wants me while his mouth drives me insane.

  "You taste like booze," I say when he lets me up for air.

  "Yeah, Ellis is a fucking bad influence."

  Shoving his chest, I put my hands on my hips. "So, this is all Ellis's fault, huh?"

  He lifts his shoulder, and his whole body tilts.

  Drunk.

  "All his fault. I offered him tea."

  I laugh because that's bullshit. He doesn't even buy tea, so there's none in the house. He's a coffee drinker, and so am I.