Screwed

by Kelly Jamieson

  Her senses went on alert at the gentle tone of his voice. This was different.

  “Cash told me about you two.”

  Her eyes flew open wide, and she took a step back, bumping into the counter. “What?”

  “He spilled his guts. Not sure why.”

  “H-he told you?” Um, she still wasn’t sure exactly what Cash had said. How much should she admit to?

  “Yeah.”

  She studied Beau. “Are you upset?”

  “I was. I was fucking pissed as hell, if you want the truth.”

  “Oh no.” Cash’s black eye…had they fought? Her heart thumped. “Oh God, Beau. Did you hit him?”

  “Yeah.” He grimaced. “Don’t worry, he hit me back.” He winced as he fingered his jaw. “He let me get in one good shot, probably because of his guilty conscience, but he’s apparently been keeping a lot of anger bottled up inside, because he laid in to me, too.” He sighed. “And I deserved it.” He eyed her. “I’m sorry I cheated on you, Callie.”

  “Oh.” Her eyes widened. He’d never said that to her. Never.

  “Callie…do you love him?”

  She swallowed and twisted her fingers together. “I do. I didn’t mean to fall in love with him…but I did.” She paused and whispered, “I’m sorry, Beau.”

  His face tightened, but he shrugged. “I get it.”

  Was this some kind of weird dream?

  “He thinks you were using him to get back at me.”

  She rolled her lips in, guilt stabbing at her for what she’d said.

  “That’s not true, is it?”

  “No,” she admitted.

  He nodded, looking almost sad. “I didn’t think so. He’s crazy about you, too.”

  She snorted. “Yeah, right. All he wanted was sex. He got pissed off one night because I fell asleep on the couch and he had to go without. And I haven’t heard from him since.”

  “Ugh.” Beau rubbed his forehead. “That might’ve been my fault.”

  She squinted at her ex. “Huh?”

  “I told him we could lose a big job if he didn’t stay away from you.”

  Her forehead tightened. “What big job?”

  Beau hesitated. “A big job for Sutherland Industries. We’ve been working on a bid for this job for months. And we really need the business.” He paused. “I kind of also told him that I wanted you back.”

  “Oh my God, Beau! You told him that?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Why? I told you before—we are never, ever getting back together.”

  Beau sighed. “I kind of suspected there was something going on between you two. I was worried about us not getting the job. And…” He looked away from her. “I didn’t like the idea of him being with you. So I told him I wanted to get back together with you, and your family wanted us back together, and I kind of implied that we could lose the Sutherland Industries project if that didn’t happen.”

  “You what?” She stared at him. “Oh my God! I have nothing to do with Sutherland Industries!”

  “But you are a Sutherland.”

  “Sweet loving Lord. That’s the only reason you wanted to marry me, isn’t it?”

  “No, Callie.”

  “Yes, it is.” She’d known that for a long time. It used to sting, but now it didn’t matter. “I gradually realized after we got married what was more important to you. All the long hours you spent working, all the business functions you went to… Do you know how lonely I was?”

  His face fell. “I guess I never thought…”

  “Your career and your image and making money were more important to you than I was. When you cheated on me, at first it made me question myself. Why wasn’t I enough for you?”

  He made a rough sound.

  “But now I see…your cheating wasn’t a reflection on me, or on what I was lacking…it was a reflection on you.”

  “Ouch,” he muttered.

  “Things changed when you and Cash started your business. You changed. You…disappeared.”

  His eyebrows pulled together. “Really?”

  “Yes. I wanted you to be successful, but…you were different.”

  “It is important to me,” he said quietly. “To be successful. My parents expect it. Your parents expected it. I had to live up to that. And…” He hesitated. “You’re right. I liked being a Sutherland.”

  Callie nodded slowly. “I get that. I know how it feels to let your parents down. Believe me, I understand. But for me, there are other things more important than money. Family. Friendship. Love.” She hesitated. “Did you…” She hated to ask, but she needed to know. “Did you ever really love me? Or did you just marry me because of who I am?” Her insides quivered as she awaited his answer. She didn’t love Beau anymore, but it still hurt to think that she’d been used that way.

  “I did love you, Callie.” His voice was low and rough. “I really did. And I really fucked up.”

  Her heart expanded, and her throat thickened. She closed her eyes, then opened them and met his gaze. Even though she no longer loved him, regret for what they’d had and lost washed through her. “Thank you. Maybe if I’d done something different…if I tried to talk to you about how I was feeling. But anytime I complained about you working late or not being around much, I felt like I was pushing you further away. Maybe I should have tried harder.”

  “No, Callie. You were perfect. And I blew it.” Beau swallowed.

  Wow. This was the most honest conversation they’d ever had. “No wonder Cash felt so guilty.” She sighed. “I kept telling him you and I were done, forever, meanwhile you were telling him you wanted to get back together.”

  Beau actually winced. “Yeah.”

  “And he was worried about jeopardizing your business.” She pressed her fingertips to her temples, thinking about the pressure Cash must have felt. No wonder he’d stopped calling her.

  Her gaze moved behind Beau to a figure outside her shop door. Cash.

  Her heart skipped a beat, and she straightened. Her eyes locked with Cash’s through the glass, and all the air left her lungs. Time seemed suspended.

  Then he frowned and shouted, “Callie. Let me in.”

  Beau jerked around. “What the hell?”

  Callie licked her lips, then moved to the door. She unlocked and opened it with trembling hands.

  Cash blew in, all angry, gorgeous energy. “What are you doing here?” he demanded of Beau, looking as though he was ready to punch him. Callie went on alert, prepared to break up a fight if need be.

  “Talking to Callie.” Beau crossed his arms. “What are you doing here?”

  Cash’s lips tightened. “I came to talk to Callie, but it’s actually good you’re here, too.” He lifted his chin. “I left you a memo back at the office, but now I can tell you in person. I’m leaving Talmadge Hale.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  “What the fuck?” Beau scowled. “You can’t leave.”

  “Sure I can. We are no longer business partners.” It hurt to say it, but it also felt good.

  “Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

  “Cash, what are you doing?” Callie rushed to him and wrapped her hands around his biceps. “You can’t do that.”

  He rolled his eyes. “I’ll say it again—yes I can. I’m doing it. Screw the business. I don’t give a flying fuck about it anymore.”

  “That’s bullshit,” Beau snapped. “Of course you do.”

  “Callie.” Cash turned to face her. “I love you.”

  She looked up at him, blinking like a toad in a hailstorm. “What?”

  “I love you. I’m so, so sorry I didn’t put you first. I had it in my head that we could never be together because it would hurt Beau.” He shot Beau a frown. “And I didn’t want to ruin our friendship or lose the business. But it’s too late. I felt guilty, and I had to tell him. I couldn’t keep going like that. I want you. I need you. I need you more than anything. So I’m giving up Talmadge Hale Consulting. I’ll find a job, or start my own co
nsulting company. Whatever.” He set his hands on her hips and squeezed gently, holding the eye contact, trying to show her how serious and sincere he was about this. “If Sutherland Industries has a problem with us, at least it won’t affect the business because I’ll be out.”

  She gazed up at him with shiny dark eyes. “You really love me?”

  “I really do.”

  Beau made a noise that sounded like guh.

  “Oh, Cash.” She slipped her hands around the back of his neck, her fingertips teasing the sensitive skin there. His body responded to her nearness. Yeah, hell, she was as sweet as the cakes and cookies she baked, funny and cheerful and strong, but damn, she was also hot as a firecracker on the Fourth of July. He wanted her in his life, but there was no denying he wanted her in his bed, too. Like, right fucking now.

  “You’d do that for me?”

  He met her eyes steadily and spoke from the depths of his heart. “I’d do anything for you, darlin’.”

  Her eyes warmed with love, and her pretty lips curved into a smile, and his heart expanded hard against his ribs. “That’s so…messed up.”

  He choked. “What?”

  “I mean…I know how much the business means to you. I know how hard you’ve worked at it, the long hours you’ve put in, how you networked and schmoozed and tried to bring in all those clients. I know how you help your mom and your sister. That you would give that up for me…” Her eyelashes fluttered rapidly again, her eyes glossy with tears.

  “Well, this is all very touching,” Beau said gruffly, “but I’m not letting you leave the company.”

  Cash glanced at his friend. “Too late.”

  “No, it’s not. Come on, don’t be an idiot.” Beau sighed, bent his head, and rubbed the back of his neck. “Look. I fucked up everything. You’re not leaving. I’ve lost my wife. I’ve lost my best friend. I’m not losing my business partner, too. You two are in love. It pisses me off, but fuck, I’m not gonna stand in your way.”

  Cash narrowed his eyes. “Seriously?”

  “Serious as an arc flash from a high-voltage breaker.”

  Cash’s lips twitched, but he maintained his stony expression. “What about that whole thing about still caring for her and wanting to get back together?”

  “I actually, uh, said that because I, uh, had a feeling something was going on between you two. And I was worried about the refinery project. I was getting pressure from Callie’s parents to try to get back with her. Joshua mentioned the project and said he might be able to have some influence on who got the job.”

  “I can’t believe my father!”

  “Fuck,” Cash muttered.

  “I didn’t know you were bidding on a Sutherland project,” Callie said to Cash.

  His lips tightened.

  “We don’t need that job,” Beau said slowly.

  “Yeah, we do.” Cash grimaced. “I mean, you do.”

  “Stop with the crap. We’re still partners. We work well together. Like I said, I won’t stand in your way. I don’t like it, but I’ll get over it.”

  Cash’s chest loosened, and his body felt lighter. “Yeah?”

  Beau exhaled sharply and looked pained. “Yeah. You were going to give up the woman you love for me.” He paused. “I can do the same.”

  “Beau. You don’t love me,” Callie reminded him gently.

  “You know what I mean.”

  “And you’re not going to lose that job because of me,” Callie added. “That’s ridiculous.”

  Cash lifted his chin and met Beau’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Beau. I knew I should stay away from Callie. Believe me, I know that a friend’s ex-wife is off-limits. Way the fuck off-limits.”

  “That didn’t stop you.”

  “No. Because…it was Callie.” He tightened his arm around her. He didn’t want to rub this in, but fuck, she was irresistible.

  “I better go.” Beau cast them one more glance that held a hint of sadness and turned to the door. He paused there. “Good luck with your bakery, Callie. You’ve done a great job here.”

  Cash sensed Callie’s surprise. Finally she said, “Thank you, Beau.”

  Beau looked pointedly at Cash. “I’ll see you Monday morning. At the office.”

  Cash held his gaze. Beau was seriously stepping aside so they could be together? And telling him they could still work together? Could they?

  He wanted to try.

  “Yeah,” he said gruffly. “See you Monday.”

  The door closed behind Beau.

  “I can’t believe my fucking father,” Callie said.

  Cash snort-laughed. “Yeah, he’s a Sutherland all right. He didn’t get where he is by being a wuss.”

  Callie wrinkled her nose. “True.”

  Cash pulled her into his arms again. “I really am sorry. I was being such a dickhead.”

  She smiled. “A little, yeah. You should have told me what was going on.”

  “Yeah. I should have.”

  “I’m sorry, too. I should have told you how I felt, instead of insulting you. I was hurt, and I lashed out. Also I was maybe a little drunk.” She held up her hand with thumb and forefinger nearly touching.

  “No kidding.” He grimaced. “It did piss me off, thinking that you were using me to get back at Beau.”

  “I’m sorry.” Anguish darkened her eyes.

  “I get it, baby.” He stroked a strand of hair away from her face. “You were hurt, and I don’t blame you. I was an idiot.” His jaw tightened briefly. “I saw my mom get her heart broken because of my dad cheating on her and then leaving us. I saw you get your heart broken by Beau’s cheating.” He paused and pulled in a breath. “When I was a kid, after my dad left, I vowed I’d never be like that. Cheating and betrayal were the worst sins I could imagine. I promised myself I would be loyal to people I cared about and I’d always try to do the right thing. But…I was trying so hard to not be my dad…or Beau…trying to be loyal to everyone, and in the end I hurt you because of it. When you’re the one who most deserves my loyalty.”

  She sucked in a shaky breath. “I love you for that loyalty. It makes you the man you are.”

  “Christ.” He closed his eyes, gratitude for this woman and her forgiveness and unconditional love sweeping through him. “I’m not always good at talking about my feelings.”

  She went onto her toes and kissed his mouth. Soft, warm lips brushed over his. “You’re good at other things.”

  “Heh. And damn, baby, I want to do those other things to you. Hard.” He kissed her again. “Fast. And dirty.”

  She moaned, and he rubbed his nose alongside hers. “Yes, please.”

  “Been too long.” His hands slid down to her ass and pulled her up hard against him. His dick ached, and he pressed it against her softness. “Missed you so much.”

  She wrapped her arms around his neck, and their mouths met again in a long, deep kiss. He licked inside her mouth, tasting her sweetness. “Oh God, Cash, I missed you, too.”

  “Probably shouldn’t do this right in the windows of your shop.”

  She gave a low laugh. “Probably not. But there are no windows in the back.”

  He hoisted her up, and she wrapped her legs around him. He strode around behind the counter and glass display case and pushed through the white louvered swinging doors into the kitchen. It smelled fantastic, like cake and vanilla and chocolate. The counters were clean, just mixers and bowls still sitting there, presumably ready for Callie to start creating in the morning. He sat her down on a marble slab and kissed her again.

  Their mouths devoured each other. He cupped her face in both hands to kiss her, then slid one hand around the side of her neck, his thumb rubbing her jaw, then closing so gently over her throat. Her jeans-clad legs hugged his hips, her ankles crossed behind him, and again his dick strained to press into her.

  “Goddamn, Callie. I almost can’t believe this.”

  “I know.” She moaned as his lips traveled over her jaw, then her throat. “I know. I can�
�t believe you love me.”

  He held her face, leaned his forehead against hers, and pulled in a huge breath. Then he drew back to meet her eyes. Now was the time to be honest. “I’ve loved you forever.”

  “Oh.” She pulled back and held his wrists. “That can’t be true.” She gazed up at him with questions and sadness in her eyes.

  “It’s true. I know you thought I was…what did you say? A standoffish jerk. When I said I wasn’t good at talking about my feelings…I couldn’t…because I’ve always had this huge painful secret.”

  “Wh-what?”

  “That I was in love with you. My best friend’s girl.”

  Time slowed, and the air thickened around them as she absorbed this. He watched her face change as she processed exactly what that meant.

  “Oh.” She sucked briefly on her bottom lip, and a tear leaked out of her eye. “Oh God. I’m sorry.”

  “Fuck no. Don’t be sorry. Shit happens, and there’s a reason for it.” That was all in the past and—holy, holy shit—they were together now. “I fell in love with you. It happened sort of gradually, and I didn’t even realize it. I knew I liked you…and you were hot as fuck…but that day you came to the hospital in that princess gown…and you were nearly crying over that little girl with cancer, but you were there, doing that for her…that was when I knew I loved you.”

  She sniffled in a shaky breath. “Oh God.”

  “I never wanted you—or Beau—to know how I felt about you. It was dishonest, but I told myself it was better to be dishonest about that than to hurt Beau, and lose your and Beau’s friendship. So I pretended.” He swallowed. “For years.”

  She gazed up at him, eyes shining. “That makes me hurt for you.”

  “Don’t.” His hands gently squeezed her shoulders. “It’s okay. I’m okay.”

  “It makes me hurt for all the time we wasted…with other people.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “A lot of other people, in your case.”

  “I was trying to forget you.” He held her gaze steadily. “It never worked.”

  She blinked, her eyelashes wet, her lips parting.

  “We’re stronger because of all that. Better people. This is where we were meant to be.”

  More tears slid down her cheeks. “Stronger through adversity. Like my tattoo.”