Alice-Miranda on Vacation

by Jacqueline Harvey

  “Are you there, dear?” Aunty Gee called.

  There was a shuffling sound, followed by “Gotcha!” Two torches clicked on and two men dressed in black stood over Aunty Gee’s limp body.

  “Gawd, the tiara’s a bit over the top for the hired help,” the taller man scoffed. “Who’s she think she is—the Queen?”

  “Let’s get her out of here. Where’s that passageway?” the shorter man asked as he studied a yellowed map.

  “Did you lock the door?”

  “Yeah, and I scrambled the pad. It’ll take ages to get back into this place—and by that time we’ll ’ave everything we need.”

  “And this one”—he grinned a toothless smile at Aunty Gee—“will be long gone.”

  Meanwhile, Dolly descended the stairs to the cellar. She was surprised to find the door shut. A sick feeling engulfed her when she punched in the alarm sequence and nothing happened. “Ma’am?” she called. But there was no answer. “Ma’am, are you in there?”

  The door must be stuck, she thought. This was no time to panic—although this had never happened before. She would go and find Mr. Kennington-Jones. He would know exactly what to do.

  Alice-Miranda, Jacinta and Millie headed back to the dining room via the kitchen, where a tray of chocolate mousses diverted their attention. Alice-Miranda had just finished placing three of the delicious desserts on the kitchen table when the outside door flew open and Mrs. Oliver barreled inside, knocking a young waiter carrying a tray of drinks sideways. Several flutes and goblets teetered, then crashed one after the other onto the flagstone floor.

  “Goodness. Are you all right, Mrs. Oliver?” Alice-Miranda leapt forward and offered the woman her arm. “Come and sit down.”

  “Oh, look what I’ve done. I’m terribly sorry,” she said to the wine-splattered lad whose white shirt now looked like evidence that he’d been attacked by a savage beast. “You’ll find yourself another shirt in the pantry, dear boy. I am sorry.”

  Another young girl from the catering team began to help him clear up the mess on the floor.

  Mrs. Oliver caught her breath. “I’m fine. I just need to find your father.”

  “Well, you don’t look fine,” Millie replied.

  “You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Jacinta added. “Have you?” Her eyes widened.

  “No, no, my dear, I have not seen a ghost. It’s just the door to the laboratory. I need to get your father, Alice-Miranda,” Mrs. Oliver insisted.

  “What about the door?” Alice-Miranda asked. “I’m sure we could help you with whatever it is that’s the matter.”

  “I’ll get you a drink of water,” Jacinta offered.

  She picked up a bottle of clear liquid from the sideboard, quickly poured a large tumblerful and offered it to Mrs. Oliver, who gulped it down without taking a breath. Then, like jelly on a plate, she shuddered from the tips of her toes to the top of her head.

  “Where did that come from?” Mrs. Oliver motioned at the empty glass. “Because I can tell you now that was not water, my dear.”

  “Over there.” Jacinta pointed toward the sink, where she had left the empty bottle.

  “Ughhhh!” Mrs. Oliver’s tongue flicked in and out like a snake’s. “That, my dear, was a rather ghastly mixture of shark-liver oil, boiled essences of lavender and chamomile and a range of secret ingredients I’ve been developing as a relaxant. I wonder how it found its way out of the pantry.”

  “Oops, sorry,” Jacinta said, before she walked over to the sink, where this time she poured a glass of water straight from the tap.

  Alice-Miranda pulled a chair around to sit beside Mrs. Oliver, who was looking remarkably more relaxed already. A hint of color had returned to her cheeks and the wrinkles on her brow were beginning to flatten out.

  “So, what’s the problem?” Alice-Miranda asked again.

  “Well, it’s the door. It’s stuck. I was showing Aunty Gee about and now she doesn’t seem to be able to hear me to release the emergency lock,” Mrs. Oliver babbled.

  “So, the door’s stuck and Aunty Gee’s in the cellar,” Alice-Miranda repeated. “Well, I’m sure that she’ll find her way out. She’s very smart, you know. She always beats me at drafts.” Alice-Miranda smiled and put her arm around Mrs. Oliver’s shoulders.

  The woman nodded. “Is your father in the dining room?”

  “I think so. Millie, can you and Jacinta run and find Daddy and we’ll go back downstairs and work on the door?” Alice-Miranda directed.

  “Of course.” Millie licked a sliver of chocolate from her lips. “Come on, Jacinta.” She grabbed the other girl, then turned and pointed at the remnants of her chocolate mousse. “And I’ll be back for you later.”

  “Come on.” Alice-Miranda took Mrs. Oliver’s hand in hers. “Let’s go and open that silly old door.”

  At the bottom of the stairs, the keypad blinked at them, its red eye pulsing in time with Mrs. Oliver’s pounding heart.

  “Can you remember the combination?” Alice-Miranda asked.

  “Yes, yes, but I’ve tried that already and it doesn’t appear to be working,” Mrs. Oliver replied. Her face was the color of cold custard.

  There was a clattering on the stairs and Jacinta and Millie appeared with Alice-Miranda’s father in tow.

  “Oh, Dolly, whatever are you doing? You really shouldn’t be working tonight. I’m sure Ambrose is missing you upstairs,” Hugh tutted.

  Mrs. Oliver began to explain that she wasn’t working at all. She had taken Aunty Gee for a tour of the laboratory but popped back upstairs to get the key to the vault, as she was going to give her a preview of her new project.

  “What is it?” Hugh asked.

  “What’s what, sir?” Dolly asked.

  “The new project, of course.”

  “It’s a super-preservation gene in organic vegetables.”

  “Golly, that sounds beaut—When will it be ready?” Hugh asked, clearly impressed.

  “Well, not for a while yet, sir, but that’s quite beside the point,” Mrs. Oliver said anxiously.

  She explained that when she had returned to the cellar the door was firmly locked and she wasn’t able to raise Aunty Gee at all.

  “So Aunty Gee is in the cellar?” Hugh repeated. “And was Dalton with you?”

  “No, sir, Aunty Gee told him to stay behind with Ambrose. She said he never gets to enjoy these things.” Mrs. Oliver grimaced. “I’m worried, sir. I think we’re down to the last chance before the door shuts down completely for twenty-four hours.” Miniature pearls of perspiration had formed along the lines on Mrs. Oliver’s forehead.

  “Let’s think carefully about this.” Hugh stared at the keypad, drumming his fingers on the wall beside it.

  “Daddy—isn’t there an override combination? It has something to do with our birthdays, doesn’t it?” Alice-Miranda offered.

  “Yes, of course. That’s it!” Mrs. Oliver reached forward and punched in the eight-digit number. There was a whoosh of air and a loud clunk as the bolts released. The room was in darkness.

  “Well done, my clever little one.” Hugh grinned at his daughter and switched on the lights, which flickered before bursting into life.

  “Oh, thank heavens.” Dolly bustled into the room with Hugh behind her.

  “Aunty Gee,” Hugh called. “Aunty Gee—are you here?”

  There was no reply. The group scoured the room, but there was no sign of her. Something glinted on the floor, catching Hugh’s attention. He reached down to pick it up. It was a ruby—a perfect princess-cut ruby. Hugh held the gem aloft.

  “Wasn’t Aunty Gee wearing a ruby tiara?” Alice-Miranda asked.

  “Yes, she was.” Millie raced over to have a look. “I told her it was lovely.”

  Mrs. Oliver spied something under the bench. It was a white cloth—and not one she recognized. Her laboratory was always in meticulous order and she never left anything lying about on the floor. As she picked it up her head began to spin and she was almost im
mediately overcome.

  “Oh no!” Mrs. Oliver dropped the cloth and exhaled. “I hope this isn’t what I think it is.”

  Hugh walked over to inspect her find. “What do you think is it?

  “Chloroform,” Mrs. Oliver replied.

  “Chloroform!” Alice-Miranda exclaimed. “Isn’t that what they use to knock people out?”

  “Well, yes, but darling, I’m sure there’s a perfectly rational explanation for everything,” her father began.

  “I’m not so sure.” Millie held up a piece of paper she had just found on the bench.

  “Let me see that.” Jacinta snatched the paper from Millie’s hand and read the words aloud. “ ‘Once we have the formula, we might think about sending her back, but then again we might just kill her instead.’ ”

  Dolly clapped her hands to her mouth. “Oh good heavens! They meant to take me. They want the formula.”

  Hugh bit his lip. “Yes, a bit of a problem, that. I doubt there’s much Aunty Gee will be able to tell them. I don’t imagine she knows much about scientific formulas really. Being the Queen and all.”

  “The Queen!” Millie gasped.

  “So that’s why nobody else is allowed to use her suite,” Jacinta added.

  “You never told me you were friends with the Queen!” Millie stood with her mouth gaping. “I thought she was your sister, Mrs. Oliver—you look like twins. It never occurred to me that the reason she looked so familiar is that she’s the Queen. But her name’s Aunty Gee.… Ohhhh,” Millie gasped, as it all became clear. “Aunty Gee is Queen Georgiana! What’s Queen Georgiana doing at Aunt Charlotte’s birthday party anyway?”

  “Aunty Gee is Granny Highton-Smith’s best friend,” Alice-Miranda explained. “They went to school together all the way from nursery. She’s Mummy’s godmother too. I’ve never really thought much about her being the Queen because she’s just like Granny most of the time—except when we see her on the television.”

  “But how did they get her out of here?” Jacinta asked, looking around the room.

  “I think it’s quite likely there’s a whole jumble of passageways under the house—but goodness knows how they would have known that.” Hugh sighed. “I thought all the old maps were destroyed years ago in a fire in the east wing.”

  “I don’t think so, Daddy.” Alice-Miranda took her father by the hand. “Now might be a good time for us to tell you about some of the strange things that have been going on around here this week.”

  “I told you Mr. Ridley was up to no good.” Jacinta smirked. “He’s behind it all.”

  Hugh shook his head. “There’s no time for that now. I’m going to get Dalton. You can explain it to both of us later.” And with that Hugh raced out the door and upstairs.

  Dolly slumped down onto a stool. “I’ve caused a national emergency.” Her face had turned from custard to ash. “If anything happens to her I’ll never forgive myself.” She buried her head in her hands.

  “It’s all right, Mrs. Oliver, we’ll find her. Don’t worry about a thing. Daddy won’t let anything happen to Aunty Gee. Jacinta, can you go and find Heinrich and Mr. Greening and ask them to pop down here? Millie, I think you and I should go and see if we can find Daisy and ask Granny Bert what she knows too. Mrs. Oliver, you stay in case Aunty Gee reappears. If Daddy arrives before us you can let him know where we’ve gone. Let’s meet back here in five minutes.”

  Jacinta and Millie nodded firmly, and all three girls ran as fast as they could.

  Meanwhile, in a damp and dimly lit room somewhere on the estate, Aunty Gee was beginning to wake up. She was lying on a lumpy mattress, which smelled rather badly of mildew and old socks.

  “Where am I?” She rubbed her head and removed the tiara that was sticking into the side of her skull. “What is this ghastly place?”

  The taller of the two kidnappers was standing by a thick steel door. “Oi,” he called to his accomplice, who was on the other side of the door. “The old bat’s comin’ round.”

  Aunty Gee slowly sat up and shuddered at the smell that seemed to hang in every crevice.

  “Where am I and who are you people?” she demanded.

  “Well, I’m Bert and the bloke out there’s Ernie and you’re sitting here in the Palace of Versailles, and if you believe that you’ll believe anything. Ain’t it lovely,” the tall man snarled.

  “There’s no need to be vulgar,” Aunty Gee replied.

  “There’s no need to be vulgar,” he mimicked. “Who d’you think you are? Royalty?” he said with a sneer.

  “As a matter of fact, young man, yes, I am.”

  The door creaked open and the shorter man, also dressed in black, joined them.

  “She’s a real trick, this one,” the taller man laughed. “Now, sweetheart, if you wouldn’t mind helping us, we’d just like the formula, that’s all. You need to write it all down on this piece of paper and no funny business, awright?” He handed her a cheap notepad and a novelty pen with a fluffy troll attached to the top.

  “I have no idea what you are talking about.” She pushed the pad and pen back toward her captor and rolled her eyes.

  “Now listen here, lovey—either you do as you’re told or someone from the big ’ouse gets it.” The shorter man ran his left forefinger across his neck. “Maybe that little girl—she’s a trick, ain’t she?”

  “If you are referring to Alice-Miranda, she is more than a trick, and if you lay one finger on her, you will feel the full force of the law.” Aunty Gee was fast losing patience.

  “Gor, you’re a bit above yourself there, love,” the taller man said. Again he thrust the pad and pen into Her Majesty’s hands. “I think she’s gonna be more difficult than we first thought. You’d better call the boss, Clarry. He might have to try a bit of persuasion, if you know what I mean,” he cackled.

  “Shut up, you idiot—what’d you say my real name for?” the shorter man asked, screwing up his face.

  “I demand that you release me this minute,” Aunty Gee commanded and stood up.

  The shorter man pushed her back onto the mattress with a hefty shove.

  “You can demand all you like, little lady, but until we have that formula, you’re going nowhere.”

  In the cellar at Highton Hall the group had reformed. Heinrich and Mr. Greening had been found. Dalton, the bodyguard, was pacing the room, all too aware that losing the Queen was a matter of national and international importance. Cecelia had joined them too. After noticing Alice-Miranda’s and Hugh’s absences from the party, she had gone in search of them. When she spied Jacinta leading Heinrich and Mr. Greening downstairs she realized something very strange indeed was going on.

  Hugh protested that he hadn’t wanted her to worry, for which he got a rather sharp telling-off.

  “Darling, whatever were you thinking?” Cecelia admonished. “Aunty Gee is missing and you were going to let me continue with the party as if there were nothing wrong? She is my godmother, after all, and if anything were to happen to her—oh, I’d never forgive myself.” Cecelia sniffed and clutched her hands together.

  “Did you find Daisy?” Hugh asked his daughter and Millie as they reappeared in the doorway.

  “No,” Alice-Miranda replied. “And I’m afraid that Granny Bert wasn’t making any sense at all. She said that Daisy had gone with her boyfriend. When I asked her who he was she said that he was Rupert—a lovely man—and she was looking forward to the wedding.”

  Cecelia brushed a tear from her eye. “Oh dear. I think Granny may have mixed up her medication. There was something she said to me earlier in the night—about that man with Daisy. I think she called him Mr. Blunt.… That’s right, she said something about him writing a history of the Hall. Do you know anything about that, Hugh?”

  Her husband shook his head.

  Alice-Miranda explained that when they had seen Daisy out on the veranda earlier she looked upset. “Golly, you don’t think Daisy has anything to do with Aunty Gee’s kidnapping, do you?” she wonder
ed out loud.

  “Blunt was just awful,” Millie added. “And if he’s Daisy’s boyfriend, there’s no telling what he might have convinced her to do.”

  “Maybe he’s in cahoots with Mr. Ridley?” Jacinta surmised. “He’s up to something for sure. In fact, I saw him just now—he was outside pacing up and down the veranda talking to himself when I went to find Heinrich and Mr. Greening.”

  Alice-Miranda disagreed and said that she didn’t think Mr. Ridley had anything to do with Aunty Gee’s disappearance.

  For a moment silence descended on the group.

  “I think we’ve got to find Daisy first,” Alice-Miranda decided. “Mr. Greening, why don’t you take the Land Rover and head over to Rose Cottage. See if she’s there.”

  “All right, lass, I’ll telephone if I find her.” Mr. Greening nodded and left.

  “Cee,” said Hugh, turning to his wife. “Do you know of any passageways that lead from the cellar here?”

  “No, darling, I heard stories about them when I was a girl, but after years of exploring I never managed to find anything,” said Cecelia, still sniffling into her handkerchief.

  “All right, everyone—let’s take a good look around the walls. Check for anything that looks like it could be a lever or a latch,” Hugh instructed the group. “They had to get her out of here somehow.”

  Alice-Miranda was lost in her own thoughts. “Plans, plans, where to find another set of plans?” she muttered under her breath as she paced up and down beside the bench. “Oh!” She drew in a sharp breath. “Of course!” She ran to her father.

  “Daddy,” Alice-Miranda began. “I’ve got an idea—I’m going to my room, but I’ll be back soon.”

  “All right, darling—but take the back stairs,” he replied.

  “Jacinta, do you want to come with me? And Millie, can you stay here and help Daddy?” Alice-Miranda asked.

  The girls nodded. Alice-Miranda and Jacinta scurried out of the cellar and then raced through the kitchen and up the back stairs toward her bedroom.