Jihadi
Page 37
Last time you checked, the Islamic Republic had achieved, not democracy, not theocracy, not secular dictatorship, but the cursed state of wavering forever among these three possibilities.
Fatima (the gossip says) ended up in a maximum security prison somewhere in the States. In addition to convicting her of killing Mike Mazzoni, which she did, they convicted her of firing an anti-aircraft missile at an American plane, which she didn’t.
They didn’t have to convict you of anything. They just disappeared you. They do things like that now.
They took your Koran away last week. Without it, you turn mentally to some verses you have already memorized, and you get ready to leave this place. These days, you turn to chapter one hundred of this book you have written, this book of struggle and striving, which you hope Becky gets to read carefully one of these days. You read chapter one hundred a lot.
You have a nickname for Becky now. It’s a loving nickname, the name of the first wife of the Prophet of Islam. The only woman he loved, as long as she lived. The woman he thought he was going to spend his life with. The woman who took care of him when his life seemed to be falling apart. The woman who strove with him during his darkest days. The woman who made his life’s work possible.
Some might expect you to be angry at Becky, but the only emotions you feel for her now arise from the spectrum of sorrow: countless shades of regretful blue on the wing of a butterfly, blues for the loss of a love that you cannot now describe. You wrote this book for her. Perhaps someone in the Directorate will read it, and having read it, decide it’s time to take care of Becky now.
Even here, in the Beige Motel, you never forgot her many moments of patience and compassion with you, never really stopped loving her. This is a love story. Your mouth bleeds red and your heart aches white, until you think of her awakening to herself, shaking free of her chrysalis, guided by the light of a glow from neither the east nor the west, greeting you in Paradise.
100
Qeelad-khulil-Jannah. Qala ya layta Qawmee ya’-la-moun. Bima gafara lee Rabee wa ja-’alanee minal-mukrameen.
It was said, ‘Enter Paradise.’ He said, ‘I wish my people could know of how my Lord has forgiven me and placed me among the honoured.’
36:26–27
Acknowledgements
Grateful acknowledgement goes out to Karen Sullivan, Bob Diforio, West Camel, Mark Swan, MacGuru, Richard Gibney and Safie Maken Finlay, none of whom ever gave up.
About the Author
Yusuf Toropov is an American Muslim writer. He’s the author or co-author of a number of nonfiction books, including Shakespeare for Beginners. His full-length play An Undivided Heart was selected for a workshop production at the National Playwrights Conference, and his one-act play The Job Search was produced off-Broadway. Jihadi: A Love Story, which reached the quarter-finals of the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award, is his first novel. He is currently living in Ireland.
You can visit him at: http://yusuftoropov.blogspot.com
Or follow him on Twitter: @LiteraryStriver
Copyright
Orenda Books
16 Carson Road
West Dulwich
London SE21 8HU
www.orendabooks.co.uk
To Safie
First published in the United Kingdom by Orenda Books 2016
This ebook edition published by Orenda Books 2015
Copyright © Brandon Toropov 2015
Brandon Toropov has asserted his moral right to be indentified as the author of this work in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988. All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the written permission of the publishers.
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
ISBN 978-1-910633-32-8
Typeset in Garamond by MacGuru Ltd
Printed and bound by CPI Group (UK) Ltd, Croydon CR0 4YY
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.