Confessions of a Bad Boy Cop

by Cathryn Fox

  I inch back and slide my hands over her bare flesh, dipping between her legs. She trembles from head to toe as I kick her feet apart, wanting her wide open for me, wanting to take what’s mine.

  Yeah, she’s fucking mine!

  She moans, and I fucking love it. I slide my hand higher between her spread legs, and heat radiates from her pussy. Lust explodes inside me. Jesus, she is so hot and ready for me it makes me insane. Bombarded with primal hunger, my entire body is shaking, vibrating when my fingers connect with her sex, and I want to sob with happiness. I touch her lightly, spread her wet lips and run my finger from top to bottom.

  “Jack,” she whimpers, her moan resonating through me.

  “Shhh,” I murmur. “Stay just like you are and don’t say a word.” I want her still, need her at my mercy as I touch her and finally get do all the dirty, delicious things I’ve been fantasizing about for years now.

  Passion and possessiveness rush through me as I brush my finger along her clit, forcing myself not to lose it when all I want is to go at her like a wild, fucking animal. Her nub swells beneath my fingers, hard and inflamed, and I dip lower to slide a finger inside her.

  Her hot cunt grips me hard, so fucking greedy and tight I wonder how I’ll ever fit my dick in there. I push in and out, and she whimpers, growing slicker with each stroke. Her bedroom sounds drive me on, and I try to work a second finger into her. But fuck, it takes effort. My brain stalls. Jesus Christ, she can’t be a virgin. I’m about to ask when she sucks in a breath, the rush of moisture between her legs allowing me to slide the second finger in with less effort.

  As all thought leaves my brain, I bask in her heat, lust stealing every ounce of strength from my body. I pull my hand back and give her a good hard slap, and she jerks forward, but her cry is one of pleasure, not pain. I give her a couple more smacks, and when I catch the sweet scent of her desire, an intoxicating mix of heat and lust rattles me to my very core. I wet my lips, my mouth desperate for a taste of her.

  I lift her from the rail and spin her to face me. Our eyes meet, burn through each other, as I lower my head and press my mouth to hers. Sweet fuck. I knew she’d taste good, but never this good. Her kisses fuels my hunger, make me fucking delirious. I push my tongue into her mouth, and take full possession of hers. Our breaths are heavy, and while I want to introduce myself to her slowly, the joining of our lips has aroused the beast in me.

  I push against her, eat at her mouth, ravage her as I push my hand between her legs and, none too gently, drive my finger into her again. I sink into her warm wet heat and she gasps into my mouth. Her hips move and she rides my finger almost frantically, taking what she needs from me.

  “That’s it,” I murmur, my heart hammering, my body going up in flames. “Fuck my finger. Show me how much you need my cock in here.” She grinds against me and I press my palm to her clit to massage it as I push another finger inside. “Get yourself all nice and wet for me, so I can taste you. I want your cum all over my face.”

  “Yes,” she murmurs and claws at my T-shirt. I reach over my shoulder and pull it off, frantic to feel her hands on my body. Her eyes widen as she looks me over, then her fingers begin a hurried exploration, racing over my muscles and dragging skin with her nails.

  As lust burns though me, I force myself to breathe slowly, but it’s a feeble effort that does little to keep the desperation at bay. Restraint a thing of the past, I drop to my knees and take her clit into my mouth. She quakes beneath my invading mouth as I press hungrily, feast on her, and drive my fingers in and out of her hot, tight cunt. She moves against me, and my heart thumps wildly as her sweet taste dances on my tongue.

  “Oh, God, Jack…I’m….” She stops talking, her breaths coming in ragged bursts as her sex muscles clamp around my fingers, drawing them deeper into her body. I lick at her release, drink in her hot cream, and rub my mouth all over her pussy until my face is soaking wet.

  When her spasms stop, I inch back and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. I look up to find her watching me, her eyes glazed. My blood pulses hard. I love that fucking look on her face.

  “I need my cock in you,” I growl, the restless ache in my groin needing attention.

  She nods her head, but no words form.

  “Turn around.” She instantly obeys and as tension grows in my body, I fish a condom from my back pocket. It’s been so fucking long since I’ve been with a woman—I spent years trying to fuck Layla out of my system—that I’m surprised I still have protection on me. Then again, maybe on some unconscious level I really hoped this would eventually happen.

  I unbutton my jeans and slide them down my thighs. Her hot pussy is wide open and waiting for me when I step into her. I breathe deep, wanting to go slow and savor this moment, but fuck, my brain is no longer calling the shots. Actually, if common sense was dictating, I never would have let things go this far. But it’s not. So there you go.

  I position my crown at her wet entrance. “You ready for me?”

  “I have been for a long time now,” she whispers, her body quaking beneath me. I run my hands along her back to absorb her tremors. Knowing how much she wants me, how she’s never given up on us, does the strangest things to my insides.

  “You need me, Layla? You need my cock?” Even though I know she does, I need to hear it on her lips.

  “Yes, Jack…please.”

  I move my hips, and my crown slips inside. Fuck, a pleasure so intense I nearly black out grips me, and I struggle to hang on. My blood ignites to a near boil and she rears back, her cunt so tight I’m never going last. She pushes back again, squirming to take all of me, every last inch. I grab her hips to take control of her body and she whimpers under my restraint.

  “Stay nice and still while I feed you my cock,” I say, and she moans. I grin. Damned if sweet little Layla doesn’t like it when I take charge. I pump into her, my hips jerk forward as her hot cum coats my cock. My brain buzzes, shuts down, unable to think with any sort of clarity as she wraps around me. Snug. Tight. So fucking amazing. I push harder, deeper, then snag on something, but I’m too far gone to give it any consideration.

  She cries out my name, and I’m lost, so fucking lost in her and her body as I ram into her, giving her every last inch as I push open her walls. Demanding bastard that I am, I pump, pound, and reach a frenzied pace, my entire body shaking as I struggle to last a bit longer. I glance down as I bury myself into her balls deep.

  “Jesus, fuck.” My cock throbs, jumps and she gasps. I pull out, only to slam back in again. She rocks against the rail, and it vibrates straights to my cock. Impatience thrums through me and I go at her like an animal, long driving strokes that will brand her as mine forever.

  “Yes,” she cries out.

  Tension coils and I take hard, serrated breaths as I lose all composure. I slide my hand up her body, grip her long hair and wrap it around my palm. I tug gently and her head lifts and angles, enough for me to take in the pleasure on her face. Desire moves through me. Thickens. Takes control. I pump, and sensations take over, needing me to end the sweet torment almost as much as I need it to continue.

  “Fuck,” I yell. “I’m going to fucking come.”

  I reach around and stroke her clit and a whimper escapes her throat. “Yes…” her muscles squeeze tight and another burst of wet heat pushes me over the precipice. We both climax, and her muscles squeeze the last of the cum from my cock. I pant, gasp, anything to refill my lungs. I swear to fucking God, I’ve never felt anything quite like it before.

  I collapse on top of her, my moist body wetting her shirt. Some small part of me registers that I hadn’t even taken her clothes off. What the fuck?

  “So beautiful,” she whispers, her drowsy words falling over the quiet of the night and jolting me back to the present. “Perfect. Like I knew it would be.”

  Rain begins to fall over us, soaking the lawn and creating an earthy smell in the air. I pull out of her, a lump the size of a golf ball lodging in my throat as r
eality hits and equal amounts of surprise and horror race through my blood.

  What the fuck have I done?

  “Layla,” I whisper, trying to talk past the tightness as my earlier bliss disappears. “You were a…a virgin.”

  Fuck, if I could kick my own ass I would. How could I have done this? Taken something so important from her. She’s the one girl in the world who’s off limits and I went at her like a fucking animal, taking her virginity against a rail in the dark of the night, nonetheless.

  Fucking crude, bastard.

  She deserved better than this for her first time, better from me. I shake my head and try to wrap my brain around this turn of events. Not only did I break a promise to her father, I took her virginity in the process. I don’t deserve her love. I don’t deserve any of this. She turns and looks at me, rain clinging to her lashes as she blinks rapidly.

  I shake my head and inch back as her skirt falls over her hips. “I’m sorry. I never should have taken—”

  “It was yours to take, Jack.” She steps into me, puts her hands on my cheek, those big brown eyes of her full of so much love. “It’s always been yours. Don’t you see, I’ve been saving it for you.”

  “I’m sorry, Layla.” I turn from her. “Jesus, this is not good. Not good at all.”

  5

  Layla

  For years I thought giving Jack my virginity would bring us together, not drive a wedge between us. But that seems to be exactly what happened. My mind trips back to last week, to the way Jack finally let his guard down and made love to me with unchecked passion and hunger. But I’ve not heard from him since that night seven long days ago. Yes, I’ve felt his presence, but he’s gone back to his old ways of hiding in the shadows, watching over me from a distance.

  I know he loves me. I can see it in his eyes. What I don’t understand is why he thinks he needs to be an authority figure over me. The truth is, I’ve been taking care of myself for a very long time now, and Jack knows that. As an unwanted child, my folks never paid much attention to me, and most times it was me taking care of them. As that last thought pings around in my brain, my phone rings, and I fish it from my purse, my pulse pounding against my throat.

  Please be Jack.

  I exhale a heavy sign when I see it’s from my mother. I look at the clock over my television, and my stomach clenches. There can only be one reason she’s calling me this late at night. I slide my finger across the screen and when her slurred words reach my ears, every muscle in my body tightens. I guess she couldn’t find a man to take her home and warm her bed tonight.

  “Where are you?” I ask. She sobs a little, then tells me her location. “I’ll be right there,” I say and shove the cushion off my lap. Before the phone rang, I was curled on the sofa reading a book in my pajamas, so I hurry to the bedroom and pull on a pair of jeans and a blouse. I grab my keys from the table and head out into the dark of the night.

  I drive through the streets and pull up in front of the bar, the one where all Dad’s colleagues still hang out. I see Mom standing outside, Garrett holding her elbow.

  “Hey, Garrett,” I say and keep my head down, completely embarrassed.

  “Hey, Layla.”

  I cup my mom’s elbow and give him a quick glance. “Thanks,” I say.

  “I would have driven her home, but she insisted on calling you.” I nod, and help mom into the car. “I appreciate your help,” I say. Then before I can think better of it, I say, “Have you seen Jack?”

  “Jack?” Mom slurs. “Where the hell is he anyway? I haven’t seen him since he snuck out of my bed last week.”

  The world closes in on me, fading to a bleak shade of gray. Bile punches into my throat and I choke. Jack was in Mom’s bed? My heart crashes so hard in my chest the sound is like tribal drums in my ears. Mom continues to go on about Jack, and I steal another quick look at Garrett. His brow is furrowed and he has a strange look on his face as he runs a hand through his hair.

  “Garrett?” I say around the lump in my throat. “What…” My voice falls off, because I’m not sure exactly what it is I want to ask him. Jack would never sleep with my mom. Sure, she’s been after him for as long as I can remember, even when she was married to Dad. She blatantly made passes at him, but he always evaded them.

  “He took her home last week,” he explains “She was wasted, and he was worried about her. I don’t think—”

  “Layla,” Mom yells. “Get me the fuck out of here.”

  I cringe. “Sorry,” I say, and feel one hundred times worse when Garrett looks at me with sadness, like he feels so sorry for me. I really hate that look. I harden myself, or at least I try, as I circle the car. Honest to God, I should have moved away from here a long time ago, gone somewhere where no one knows my history or my name.

  A clean break.

  A new slate.

  I put the car into gear and merge into traffic. “Here,” I say and hand mom the bottle of water I brought with me.

  She tosses it back at me. It hits me in the side of the head and I nearly go off the road. “What the fuck is this? I don’t need water, I need another drink.”

  I swallow my response, and blink through the tears. I’m emotional tonight, more so than ever. I can handle Mom, have taken this kind of abuse a million times, but I’m so scared I ruined things with Jack. I honestly had no idea my virginity would freak him out so much.

  “So you’re going to be a big shot lawyer,” Mom says and makes a grunting sound. “You know I wanted to go to law school right?”

  “I know, Mom,” I say quietly.

  “But I had you instead.”

  My stomach cramps so hard I think I might throw up. “I know that, too.”

  “So now you’re trying to show me up. You think you’re better than me?”

  “That’s not what I’m trying to do at all, and no, I don’t think I’m better than you.” Jesus, can’t she be proud of me, just once?

  The only reason you are where you are today is because of me, you know.”

  “I know,” I agree, even though it’s not true. I’m where I am today because I worked my ass off and saved every penny I could. Sometimes I even held down three jobs in the summers, just to make enough to pay for tuition.

  “As long as you know.” She settles herself into the seat, like she just knocked me down a few pegs—and maybe she did—because I feel nothing but guilt. “And you should also know, Jack is mine, not yours.”

  My heart stops mid-pump, and I nearly drive straight through the red light as air leaves my lungs in a whoosh. “What…what are you talking about?”

  “Oh, come on. You’ve been drooling over him for as long as I can remember. We all used to laugh about it.” Heat moves into my face and I’m glad it’s dark. I don’t want my mother to know how horrified I am. “What would he want with a little girl like you, anyway? You’d be stupid to think he would. He needs a woman, which is why he was in my bed last Friday night.”

  My mind goes off in a million and one directions. He was in my bed last Friday night, too. Well, technically not my bed, but still…

  Was Lu right? Should I have been sleeping with guys to gain experience for when I finally got Jack between the sheets. His words ring in my ears. “This is not good. Not good at all.” What did he mean by that. The sex between us wasn’t good? Am I too young and inexperienced for him?

  But this is Jack we’re talking about. We care so much for each other. Then again, if he cared for me in a lover’s sort of way, why did he act like a parental figure at the funeral, and watch me from a distance for six long years? Yes, we had sex last week, amazing sex. At least for me it was. Had I tempted and teased him into doing something that he really didn’t want to do?

  My entire body is shaking by the time I pull into Mom’s driveway, and I steal a glance at her. She’s smiling like she’s very pleased with herself. I unbuckle, ready to help her inside, but she stops me.

  “Thanks for the ride,” she says and climbs from the vehicle. I
feel numb, my legs barely working as I watch her push her key into the lock and disappear into the house without so much as a backward glance.

  Seconds turn into minutes, and I’m unable to settle my rattled brain enough to go home. I finally back out of the driveway but instead of going back to my lonely condo, I make my way to my favorite bar. I don’t want to call Lu this late at night, since she’s probably already in bed with someone, so I just take a seat at the bar, and gesture the bartender for a daiquiri.

  I sit there for a long time and stare at my phone, desperately needing to talk to Jack. If I typed in vanilla would he answer the call, come running to my rescue like a real life hero, or would he ignore me, thinking I was crying wolf again? I guess there is only one way to find out. I swipe my finger across the screen and type in the word. Vanilla. The truth is, I really do need him tonight, on so many levels.

  I nurse my drink and when I hear boots scuffing in the crowded bar, I don’t need to turn to know it’s Jack. Every nerve in my body jumps, comes alive just knowing he’s in the room.

  He steps up behind me, presses his mouth to my ear. His hot breath caresses the outer shell and a quiver moves through me.

  “Lets get out of here,” he says.

  I nod, and slide from the stool. He has his back to me by the time I turn, and he reaches behind him to grab my hand. He leads me through the throng of people, and once we’re outside, he slides his arm around my waist. We walk in silence as he guides me to his truck. He opens the door and I slide in. Neither of us speak as he drives through town and pulls up in front of his small bungalow.

  “Come on,” is all he says, and meets me at the front of the truck. He fishes a key from his pocket and that’s when I see the plywood covering a hole in the long window fringing the door.