Far From Home

by Anne Bennett

  ‘Burrowing down in the ground like that is awful,’ Kate said. ‘Like some sort of animal.’

  ‘I’d rather be underground than up top if bombs are going to be flying about,’ Susie said. ‘Anyway, Dad has applied for one.’

  ‘Has he?’

  ‘Yes, the garden is big enough,’ Susie said. ‘And people say if you put enough dirt on top you can grow things. Anyway, Mom said better be safe than sorry, and so Dad sent off straight away because he said he wants to build one while the boys are still there to give him a hand digging the trench and before the ground is too hard with frost and that.’ Then she looked at Kate and said, ‘What will you do?’

  ‘A woman at work said Birmingham will be safe from aerial raids, being two hundred miles from the coast.’

  Susie grimaced as she said, ‘I doubt that could be true, because I would say that planes can cover a great distance in a short space of time. Anyway, if they thought Birmingham was so safe, they wouldn’t be insisting on a blackout here or have all these Anderson shelters delivered. So just say the woman is wrong and a raid starts, where will you go? Is your landlady installing an Anderson?’

  ‘There wouldn’t be any point, would there?’ Kate said. ‘The house is all flats. It would have to be a mighty big shelter to fit us all in. Dolly said that if there are raids we’re all to go down the basement. That will do me, anyway.’

  ‘Check it’s reinforced then,’ Susie advised. ‘Because it might have to withstand the weight of the house falling on top of it.’

  ‘Oh, Susie, stop being such a worry-guts,’ Kate said.

  ‘Someone has to be.’

  ‘Why?’ Kate asked. ‘No bombs have fallen yet.’

  ‘Famous last words,’ said Susie.

  The staggering list of casualty figures on the roads caused the government to have a rethink about the blackout. The result of the rethink meant that shielded headlights on cars were allowed and they also said that people could carry shielded torches.

  It was amazing, Kate thought, how comforting that thin pencil of light could be – that was if you could get hold of a torch and batteries, which disappeared from the shops faster than the speed of light. But still, if you were the owner of these precious commodities, it was a little easier and safer to get about, and yet as November slid into December, Kate couldn’t work up any enthusiasm for a wartime Christmas.

  Christmas spirit was hard to find, even in the city centre, where there were no lights festooning the city streets, no spluttering gas flares turning the Bull Ring into fairyland, and not even flashing window displays in the shops to tempt a person inside. And it was a depressing sight when you did go in, because there was little to buy. ‘They say rationing is being started in January,’ Susie said. ‘But a lot of what you ask for now in the shops is unavailable.’

  ‘Yeah, and if you complain in any way, they say that there’s a war on.’

  ‘That’s right,’ Susie agreed, and added with a sigh, ‘’case it might have slipped your mind like.’

  The two girls felt very despondent, and Sally was little better. ‘I was so looking forward to Phil coming home,’ she said. ‘It was really terrific and that, but when he went back I had to learn to live without him again, and this time it’s worse because I know that he is now “somewhere in France”, so how can I get excited about Christmas? I do try to keep my worries to myself for Ruby’s sake, but it’s flipping hard to do.’

  ‘I know it is,’ Kate said. ‘Come to my house for Christmas dinner at least and we’ll try to cheer each other up.’

  ‘Thanks,’ Sally said. ‘It would be nice to be together anyway.’

  ‘Yes, and then all of you come to mine afterwards,’ Susie said. ‘And we’ll do our level best to enjoy ourselves.’

  Having agreed on their plans, she then had a letter from David to say that he and Nick had both been given leave over Christmas, and the world suddenly seemed a much happier place. Kate was determined that she would give David a Christmas to remember. And she would make an effort to make the place look more Christmassy, to try to offset the dreary black curtains at the windows.

  She hunted through the trunk in the bedroom and unearthed the tree. It looked a bit battered but she was sure it would look much better with festive things pinned on it and tinsel draped over the balder bits. The garlands that she and Susie had made for her first Christmas in Birmingham had also seen better days, but teased out gently they didn’t look too bad. And lastly she hung the cards received from those in Ireland, and a few from the girls at work, on string fastened above the hearth. The effect when she had finished was not bad at all, and it did look as if Christmas was not far away.

  THIRTEEN

  David arrived around midday on Sunday 24 December. When Kate saw him walk through the door she thought her heart would burst with love for him; it seemed to fill her whole body so that she ached with it. She had stayed in the flat as he had asked her to, and her nerve-ends began to tingle as she watched him surveying the room. She was so glad that she had made the effort when she saw his smile, and then he looked at her with his eyes shining and she felt her knees go weak and he was across the room in two strides and took her in his arms.

  And when his lips met hers she could no more have stopped the moan of desire that escaped from her than she could have stopped the sun from shining. When they broke apart they were both breathless, their eyes alive with longing. ‘Oh, my darling,’ David said with a sigh and held her close.

  ‘Are you hungry?’ Kate asked.

  ‘Ah, yes,’ David said. ‘I’m very hungry for only one thing at the moment.’ And then he scooped her up in his arms, kicked open the bedroom door and laid her on the bed and began to pull his clothes off.

  ‘David,’ Kate said, slightly shocked. ‘It’s the middle of the day.’

  ‘What’s that got to do with anything?’

  ‘It seems sort of wrong.’

  ‘Why should it be?’

  Kate shrugged. ‘I don’t really know,’ she admitted.

  ‘Kate, do you love me?’

  ‘Oh, I’m surprised that you have to ask that,’ Kate said. ‘I love you more than I thought it was possible to love anyone.’

  ‘Don’t you want to show me how much?’ David asked as he lay by her side. ‘I have thought of this moment for weeks, but I’ll not take you against your will.’

  Kate felt ashamed that she had even hesitated, and she kissed David’s lips gently and began to pull off her clothes as she said, ‘It won’t be against my will, my darling. It will be instead my heart’s desire,’ and she pulled David into her arms.

  Their coming together that day was euphoric. Kate’s passion equalled David’s and he smiled when she let out a shout of pure joy when she felt that she could bear it no more. ‘It makes me happy that I satisfy you so,’ David said.

  ‘Satisfy me?’ Kate cried. ‘There are many words and phrases that I could use to describe our lovemaking, and satisfaction would not be top of the list.’

  ‘What would head it, my darling?’ David asked.

  Kate thought for a minute. ‘Warmth and tenderness, I suppose,’ she said at last. ‘You make me feel so … so cherished. Yes, that’s the word – cherished.’

  Kate snuggled against David so that her head was in the crook of his arm and thought suddenly of the war Britain was engaged in that could tear their happiness apart. She gave a sudden shiver.

  ‘No sad thoughts,’ David said, feeling the slight trembling of her body. ‘I am here for such a short time and I want to take happy memories away with me.’

  ‘I know,’ Kate said.

  ‘So relax,’ David said, and kissed her eyes gently so that she closed them. ‘I’m not tired,’ she said. ‘Not really, for all I was too excited about you coming home to sleep much last night. I just feel cosy and comfortable and blissfully happy.’

  When she awoke it was dark, but suddenly the light went on and she saw David dressed and framed in the doorway holding a tray. She
struggled to sit up. ‘What time is it?’ she cried. ‘I must see to the blackouts.’

  David pushed her gently back on the pillows. ‘I have done the blackouts, as you can see,’ he said, and she saw the shutters fitted up at the windows. ‘It’s only four o’clock, but such a grey and miserable day that I thought tea and some of the biscuits I bought from the NAAFI at the camp might cheer us up.’

  ‘Oh, yes,’ said Kate. ‘But I should be the one looking after you.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Well, you know,’ she said. ‘You’re the one on leave.’

  ‘So what?’ David said, plonking the tray on the bed and handing Kate a cup of tea. ‘Don’t you think we get well enough looked after at the base?’

  Kate smiled. ‘I wouldn’t know what happens at the base,’ she said. ‘Apart from telling me you played in the odd football match, you don’t say much about it, and Nick is no better in the letters he writes to Susie.’

  ‘There is a good reason for that,’ David said. ‘If we said much more, the censor would only cut it out anyway.’

  ‘We don’t even know if you made it to be pilots.’

  ‘Didn’t you notice the wings on my jacket?’

  ‘Hardly,’ Kate said with a laugh. ‘From the moment you came in the door I barely had time to notice anything. You had everything off in no time.’

  ‘Well, you’re the cause of that,’ David said, unabashed. ‘You shouldn’t look so lovely and inviting.’ He lifted his uniform jacket from the floor as he spoke and Kate saw the wings pinned to his lapel.

  She felt dread tighten in her stomach but David had said no sadness and so she forced her stiff lips into a smile and said, ‘That’s great, David. Well done!’

  ‘This is about the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me.’

  ‘I know that,’ Kate said. ‘And I am trying to be happy for you.’

  ‘And doing a grand job,’ David said approvingly as Kate got out of bed and began to dress.

  ‘They seem such mundane presents,’ Kate said the following morning, handing David some packages as they sat having breakfast. ‘I couldn’t even get festive paper to wrap them in,’ she complained, viewing the brown paper with distaste.

  ‘The woman at the paper shop looked at me as if I was asking for the moon when I asked her if she had anything more cheery. “None of that sort of thing now, dearie,” she said. And then added as if I was some sort of half-wit, “There is a war on, you know”.’

  David laughed at Kate’s disgruntled face. ‘She’s right in a way,’ he said. ‘I mean, you only throw the paper away. ‘Anyway, surely the important thing is what the present is, and not what it’s wrapped in?’

  ‘That’s just it though, isn’t it?’ Kate said. ‘Hankies, cigarettes, bull’s-eyes and socks would not inspire anyone.’

  ‘Stop beating yourself up,’ David said. ‘First of all, I’m grateful for all these things. I am nearly out of hankies, I love bull’s-eyes, cigarettes are often the very devil to get hold of and I’m more than grateful for the socks. Some of the old hands told us to get the boots a bit big so that we could put on two pairs of socks. It can get nippy in the old Spits ’cos they’re not fitted with central heating, you know. I mean, when you’re up there fighting Jerry, you don’t want to be worried about cold tootsies, do you?’

  The thought of David up in the air fighting anyone caused Kate’s heart to give a flip, but she told herself not to be so stupid. David was a pilot, had wanted to be a pilot, and she had to get used to it. And so she let a wry smile play around her lips as she said, ‘In that case I shall take up knitting and send you a steady supply of them. It’s not so hard. A few of the women at work do it and they offered to teach me.’

  ‘Well, I would be glad of them, as I said,’ David said. ‘And while you’re complaining about having no festive paper to wrap things in, I couldn’t get any paper at all – the shop had run out and so I had to make do with a paper carrier bag.’

  When Kate put her hand in the bag she was delighted. ‘Ah, David,’ she exclaimed, as she pulled out two pairs of silk stockings. They are just beautiful. Where on earth did you get them?’

  David wagged a finger in front of Kate’s face. ‘That’s as bad as asking me how much they cost.’

  ‘No, it isn’t.’

  ‘Well, all the answer you are going to get is, ask no questions and you will be told no lies,’ David declared. ‘And have another look because there is something else.’

  ‘Evening in Paris is just about my favourite perfume,’ Kate said, spinning round with excitement with the bottle in her hand. She stopped pirouetting long enough to kiss David on the lips before saying, ‘Did you know that?’

  David shook his head. ‘All I know about scent is that you always smell nice and the man selling this lot said most of the ladies went a bundle on it.’

  Kate knew that probably David had got the things from the black market and normally she would have had no truck with it, but how could she take the light from David’s eyes by refusing the presents, especially when she didn’t want to? What she did say was, ‘Well, I can’t tell you how glad I am to have these things, so I am going to be very unpatriotic and say I don’t care where you got them from, I’m just thankful you did.’ And her eyes met David’s and her heart suddenly lurched with love for this fine man and she put her arms around his neck, kissed him gently on the lips and said, ‘Happy Christmas, Mr Burton.’

  They had a lovely Christmas dinner, tucking into the chicken that Kate had queued for three solid hours to buy in the meat market the day before Christmas Eve, although for Sally and Ruby it was tinged with regret that Phil had been unable to join them. Sally brought some mince pies she had made from a few jars of mincemeat her grocer had got in just a few days before, and Ruby had made a small cake and produced a bottle of whisky that she said had been languishing in the cupboard since Phil had left.

  ‘Won’t he mind?’ Kate said.

  ‘Why should he?’ Ruby said. ‘We’ll buy another one when he comes back home with this bloody war over.’

  Ah, thought Kate. When will that be? Not soon if she was any judge. However, Christmas Day was not the day to share such thoughts and she took the bottle from Ruby with thanks. All in all it was a truly lovely dinner, and not long after it they set off for the Masons’ before it got too dark.

  Kate had barely got in the door before Susie pounced on her. ‘I’ve got something to tell you.’

  Kate looked at her friend and knew only one thing would make her eyes shine so and she burst out, ‘You’re getting married?’

  ‘That’s right,’ Susie said, drawing Nick to her side. ‘On Nick’s next leave, whenever it is. Mom and Dad have agreed, haven’t you?’

  ‘We have,’ Frank said. ‘Though I still have my misgivings, for all we know Nick to be a fine young man, but we went down under the onslaught.’

  ‘He’s talking about me,’ Susie’s elder brother, Derek, said. ‘I have got my call-up papers, and as Gillian and I were going to get married anyway, we shuffled it along a bit to get it in before I’m called up. It’s obvious that most couples would want to do that.’

  ‘So, we don’t know when this great event is going to be?’ Kate said.

  Nick smiled ruefully and said, ‘Unfortunately the powers-that-be do not confide in me, but as soon as there is a sniff of the next spot of leave I will set things in motion.’

  ‘Won’t be any time soon though, I wouldn’t have thought,’ David said, ‘now we have got our wings. I do want to get some flying in.’

  ‘Oh, me too,’ Nick said. ‘I just can’t wait to take the kite up and have a go at Jerry.’

  ‘What will you be flying?’ Susie’s other brother, Martin, asked. ‘Spitfires?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Nick said. ‘Without doubt the best plane in the Air Force, and made just across the road from the base at the Vickers factory.’

  ‘Yeah, they close the road at seven o’clock and push them across,’ David said. ‘An
d that’s a sight in itself because the road is very busy in the daytime. People come and watch. Then we keep what planes we need and the others are flown down to other bases.’

  ‘God, I bet the Germans would like to know where that factory is.’

  ‘I bet,’ David said. ‘It must be heavily reinforced because the rumour is that they are going to start making Lancaster bombers there as well.’

  ‘I’d say they’d be pretty redundant because there’s been no bombing yet, has there?’ Martin said with a slight laugh.

  ‘What about our ships being sunk?’ Frank asked him.

  ‘Yeah,’ Martin said airily. ‘I know there’s that, but it don’t affect us much. Some of the lads at work are calling this the Bore War and I don’t blame them.’

  ‘War is not something to make a joke of,’ Frank snapped. His face was creased in annoyance as he went on. ‘Those young unarmed sailors who lost their lives trying to bring food in wouldn’t call it boring either. Ships, stacked full of essential foodstuffs, are lying on the sea bed now. You’ll soon care about that when it affects your belly because there’s no food to put on the table.’

  It was strange to see Frank so vehement about anything, and Kate noticed that Martin had coloured up in embarrassment. Mary, trying to pour oil on troubled waters, said soothingly, ‘I’m sure he meant no harm, Frank. After all, it is Christmas Day, not a day for anger and upset. The truth is this war is making us all edgy and out of sorts. Now come up to the table. Food will, I’m sure, make us all feel a wee bit better tempered.’

  After the meal, Derek went off to collect his young lady, Gillian, and Kate helped clear the table and wash up the tea things. It was as she was passing the hall from the kitchen that Derek came in. Kate had met Gillian before and thought her very pretty, with her wavy brown hair that fell to her shoulders held back from her face by a red velvet band. She had a pert little nose and small mouth and dark eyes to match her hair. And Kate saw those eyes were fastened on Derek as he helped her off with her coat, and she knew that Gillian was completely smitten with him. ‘I’ll put your coat up with all the others,’ Derek said. ‘The drinks are in the kitchen. There’s a very nice punch made by the old man especially for Christmas. Drink that with caution because it sometimes has a kick like a mule. Isn’t that right, Kate?’