Far From Home

by Anne Bennett

  ‘And any other sensible person,’ Jim said. ‘So how come you’re here now, David?’

  ‘Well, they flew me in to Castle Bromwich and I wanted to go straight home, but they said I wasn’t well enough and slammed me in the sick bay. I made such a stink, though, that they sent you a telegram telling you I was safe and inviting you up to the airfield, but you were already on your way to Ireland. The telegraph boy told me that some neighbour, probably Phoebe, told the boy to get the address of where you would be from the Masons. I suppose in case the telegram was important. But I was the only one there when he came back, and as soon as I got the address I set off, and caught the night boat. I haven’t even got a change of clothes because I wouldn’t risk going back to the house, because that’s the first place that they would make for.’

  ‘You’ve gone AWOL,’ Kate said. ‘Won’t you get into trouble?’

  ‘Maybe, but I won’t get shot or anything,’ David said. ‘They said I had to go for convalescence anyway, and then I will be joining Nick at Biggin Hill Airfield, training other pilots, but first I had to see you.’

  ‘Well, I think you are a fine young man,’ Helen said. ‘And I’m delighted you are Kate’s husband.’

  There was a chorus of ‘Hear, hear’, and then Philomena was chivvying them all to get ready for Mass. ‘Aw, Mammy, do we have to go today?’ James complained. ‘I want to stay and talk to David.

  ‘Well, that will have to be later,’ Philomena said firmly. ‘David has travelled all night and needs to sleep, and Kate is staying here to look after him.’

  There were times when it was not worth arguing with Philomena, and Kate saw by her brother’s doleful face as he trailed after the others that he had found that out for himself.

  David was more tired than he realized, for though he had been somewhat animated when he had been telling them all how he had survived, when the tale drew to a close he had felt the tiredness fold over him, and he was glad to snuggle down in the double bed that had originally been earmarked for her to share with Sally. And as Kate came down the stairs after showing David where he was to sleep, her mother called her into the scullery. ‘Is there something the matter with Sally?’ she asked.

  ‘What sort of something?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Philomena said. ‘It’s just that she was fine when she arrived; I mean a bit nervous and that was natural, but it was when David came really. And she had a really funny look on her face when he carried you downstairs.’

  Kate was surprised that her mother had been that perceptive, and Philomena went on: ‘Does she not like David? Is that it?’

  Kate shook her head with a smile. ‘No,’ she said. ‘She likes David well enough, but Sally also met someone in Birmingham that she was more than fond of. His name was Phil Reynard and he was drafted into the Army like all boys the same age – and that’s all most of them were, just boys. Phil and Sally loved each other and they became engaged just before Phil was sent overseas.’

  ‘You told me none of this.’

  ‘So you did read the bits in the letters I wrote telling you about Sally?’

  ‘I did, of course, though I could never bring myself to reply,’ Philomena said. ‘I regret that now.’

  ‘So do I,’ Kate said sadly. ‘Because Phil died at Dunkirk. There was just him and his mother, Ruby, who had lost her husband and all her family with TB years before. She had a stroke when the telegram came and she never regained consciousness. As I had never mentioned Phil, because I didn’t want you to feel that Sally was doing anything wrong, I couldn’t tell you of his death and the terrible heartache she suffered.’

  ‘I feel so ashamed,’ Philomena said. ‘And yet Sally herself said that lost years couldn’t be reclaimed and that we had to put them to one side and look forward.’

  ‘And she’s right,’ Kate said. ‘For Sally to look back is painful. That time is gone and will never come again. But all the things she had gone through have made her the young woman she is today, for there is no sign of the immature girl not long out of childhood that was waiting for me that autumn day in 1938.’

  ‘I know that, through my own pigheadedness, I have lost those years.’

  ‘But you haven’t lost her,’ Kate said. ‘Because she has long wanted your forgiveness, and she needs you more than ever, because that look you saw in her face as she watched me being carried down the stairs was envy, pure and simple. David was alive and Phil dead and gone.’

  ‘God, Kate, but you’re a grand girl,’ Philomena said, touching her arm lightly as tears sparkled behind her eyes. ‘And I will take to heart everything you have said. Sally will never find me lacking again, and when I go to Mass today I shall get down on my knees and thank the Lord, because we have a lot to be thankful for.’

  When they had all gone and the cottage had grown silent once more, Kate crept up the stairs and peeped into the bedroom. David lay in the abandonment of total exhaustion, his arms flung to each side of him as he lay on his back, the only sound his even breathing. Kate tiptoed forward and gently kissed his cheek, flushed in sleep, and felt such a rush of love for him. That he had returned to her in such a way was like some sort of miracle.

  She suddenly felt restless. She needed to be doing something and decided to climb the hill behind the house, which had always been a favourite haunt of hers. It was steeper than she remembered, and as she toiled up through the springy grass, she remembered the way she would almost run up when she had been younger. She kept going, though, and had gone some way when she heard a voice behind her. The voice was a familiar one, for all she hadn’t heard it in seven years. ‘Hallo, Kate.’

  Kate was not at all sure that she wanted to meet Tim so soon. And yet she knew that she’d have to see him some time, and it was better she meet him now, with David out of the way, and so she turned with a smile on her face towards him, breathing heavily because of the climb.

  Tim was not the slightest bit out of breath and devastatingly handsome. The sun was shining directly on them both, turning Tim’s light brown hair almost blond, like a halo framing his face. He was smiling a welcome, a smile that lit up his face as if he had turned a light on inside him and set his eyes dancing in his head. It always used to make Kate’s legs go weak at the knees. Now she noticed with relief that it had no effect on her as she said, ‘Hallo, Tim. Not at Mass with the others?’

  ‘Checking up on me, Kate?’ Tim said lightly. ‘I went to early Mass, and that’s why I missed the high jinks at your house.’

  ‘What high jinks?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Tim said. ‘You tell me, but my father wouldn’t leave Liam and Danny in the middle of milking to go round to your house, just because Mammy came and said so.’

  ‘Ah, well, you will know soon enough,’ Kate said. ‘My husband, David, whom I believed had been shot down and killed in February trying to defend Singapore, has turned up alive. He arrived here very early this morning after being nursed back from the dead by a missionary lady.’

  Tim’s mouth had dropped agape. ‘You’re joking?’

  ‘Course I’m not,’ Kate said.

  ‘Sorry.’ Tim smiled. ‘It’s just such an incredible story.’

  ‘I know,’ Kate said, ‘isn’t it? And it has all happened so quickly, I keep thinking he might disappear again, or I may wake up and find that it’s some dreadful dream.’

  ‘I bet. Where is he now?’

  ‘Sleeping,’ Kate said. ‘I obviously knew nothing of his months in the jungle in Sumatra and the efforts to rescue him, and as soon as he reached the airfield he sent me a telegram, but I had left for Ireland. When he found out that was where I’d gone, he followed me on the night boat.’

  ‘God!’ breathed Tim. ‘Must have been a shock.’

  Kate smiled and gave a nod. ‘Yeah, when I opened the door to him this morning, I just couldn’t believe my eyes. I mean, I’ve had a memorial service for him and everything. Anyway, when I saw him I went out like a light. Now I’m fine again. Never felt better, in fact
.’

  ‘And you’re happy?’

  ‘Blissfully.’

  Tim gave a chuckle and Kate waited for the butterflies to begin in her stomach, but there was nothing, and she felt herself smiling back, a genuine smile this time. ‘Ah, now that’s the Kate I remember,’ Tim said. ‘I missed you a great deal when you went to England. I thought you might write. We had been incredibly close.’

  Whoever her mother was, Kate knew that they could never have taken their relationship any further, and that needed to be dealt with, so she faced Tim and said, ‘We were too close, and you know it as well as I. I had to leave, it was the only way. Writing to you would only have prolonged things and maybe stopped us going on as we had to.’

  Tim sighed. ‘You’re right. I am still most incredibly fond of you, though, and because of that I’m pleased that you are happy.’

  ‘I’m fond of you, Tim, and always will be, I hope,’ Kate said. ‘However, I’m a very different person to the naïve eighteen-year-old who left these shores in 1935.’

  ‘I see that,’ Tim said. ‘I’m different too, even though I have stayed here. I have married, and am father to a wee boy we have called Michael, after his uncle who died in the Great War.’

  Kate suppressed a shudder, but Tim didn’t need to know the truth about his uncle Michael, and she just said, ‘I know all the news because Mammy writes every week. But now I must go down, or David might be awake and wondering where I am.’

  ‘A hug for old time’s sake,’ Tim said as he took Kate in his arms for the first time. Initially, Kate stiffened slightly, but the hug was a friendly one, as one cousin to another, and she was able to relax. She knew now that any romance with Tim was dead and gone, and she now saw that heady romance for what it had been. They could remain friends, anyway. They descended the hill side by side and had nearly reached the bottom when Tim said, ‘Will I get to meet this husband of yours?’

  ‘Of course,’ Kate said, but inwardly she wondered how David would feel about Tim. She had opened her heart to him about her feelings for her cousin; now she had to convince him that that was in the past.

  David woke up, wondering where he was for a moment or two, and then it all came back to him. Through the window he watched Kate climb the hill. He swung his legs out of bed, intending to dress and join her, but then he spotted the man going up behind her. He had never met Tim Munroe, but he knew who he was and he watched the encounter between them. He remembered the jealousy that he had felt for this man when Kate had told him about her feelings for him first, and that increased tenfold now as he saw them both meet.

  He was afraid. Why had Kate suddenly returned home when she had refused to go when he suggested it? She said it was for Helen’s sake and Sally’s, but was that true, or was it because Kate wanted to rekindle a past love, believing him dead? He felt slightly sick at the thought. He reminded himself that this Tim was married and Kate was not a home-breaker, but even that thought didn’t ease his pain. He didn’t want to watch them together, and yet he couldn’t seem to be able to tear his eyes away from the scene. As they chatted easily, his heart ached with love for Kate. It was the thought of her waiting there for him that had sustained him during those terrifying months waiting for rescue, and she had seemed overwhelmed with happiness when he had appeared at the door. At least he had thought it was happiness; maybe it had been shock, and this little tryst had been planned between her and Tim. Then he knew he was right, and gave a gasp when he saw Tim pull his Kate into his arms. He felt as if he had been punched in the stomach.

  He got to his feet, unable to watch any more, and hurried out of the room. He didn’t know where to go, he just knew he had to go, be by himself for a while and work out what he should do now. For without Kate, his life would have no meaning.

  Kate was surprised a few moments later to find that David was not only not in the bedroom, but nowhere else in the house either. She went off to look for him, checking the barns first and causing the dogs to bark, but there was no sign of David and so she set off up the lane.

  She saw him standing by the gate that led to the top field where her father had moved most of the cows. He was leaning on the gate just staring into the field. He heard her approach and turned to look at her, but his face held an almost blank expression that she had never seen before. She gave a tentative smile and a little wave. But as he didn’t respond in any way, she approached rather cautiously, telling herself what he had gone through was bound to have taken it out of him and she should have patience. He couldn’t have had much sleep either, and so that’s what she said when she got nearer to him.

  ‘I slept long enough,’ David snapped. ‘I saw you through the window with him.’

  Kate knew who ‘him’ was, and wished David hadn’t seen them together so soon. She heard the misery behind the aggressiveness and she saw jealousy flickering in David’s eyes and she told herself to take care. ‘Yes,’ she said as nonchalantly as she could. ‘Tim came to meet me.’

  ‘Meet you,’ David said. ‘Is that all he did?’

  ‘Yes,’ Kate said. ‘He was getting ready for early Mass when you arrived but he’d heard something had happened so came to ask me what.’

  ‘He went to early Mass so he could see you when the others had left, is that it?’ David demanded.

  Kate shook her head. ‘No. David, what is this?’ she demanded.

  ‘Look, Kate,’ David said. ‘When you told me all about Tim and how you felt, I said that I was prepared to settle for second best. Well, I’m not any longer. I couldn’t bear the thought that, though you lived with me, you wished it was him; longed for his arms rather than mine around you, him making love to you. He would be there all the time, like a spectre in the travesty of the marriage that we would have.’

  Kate stared at him, this man that she loved more than life. ‘David, you dope. This is nonsense.’

  She reached for him, but he pulled away. ‘I may be a dope, but I’m not blind, and I saw you in that man’s arms.’

  ‘He’s my cousin,’ Kate said. ‘And one I haven’t seen for seven years. Did you see him kiss me?’

  ‘No, it would have been like a knife stabbing my heart to see that.’

  ‘Well, you should have stayed watching, because it didn’t happen,’ Kate said. ‘You’d have seen it for what it was, just a friendly hug.’

  She caught hold of David’s arm, and this time he didn’t throw her off, and she turned him to face her. She saw the doubt flood over his face and she knew that David wanted to believe her, and she took his face between her hands, looked deep into his eyes and said, ‘Tim Munroe is no threat to us and our happiness. He is married with a child, but even if he was free it would make no difference, because I know now I don’t love him. Susie was right when she said I never did, and whether I once did or not, that part of my life is over. I certainly have no romantic feelings for him now. Tim is part of my history. There is only one man I love, and that is you, David Burton, my beloved husband.’

  ‘Oh,’ David said, scarcely able to believe it. ‘Do you mean it?’

  ‘With all my heart and soul,’ Kate said sincerely, and David felt as if his own heart had given a leap of joy, and he felt filled with happiness as Kate said, ‘There’s only one thing I envy Tim for.’

  ‘And what’s that?’

  ‘His child,’ Kate said, catching up David’s hand and leading the way back to the cottage. ‘That’s what I long for, your child.’

  David heard the yearning in Kate’s voice and he was silent. He had said they must wait for peace, but it was one hell of a long time coming. When he went back he would be off active duties, and as safe as anyone else was in this godawful war.

  ‘Say something, David, for God’s sake?’ Kate cried in the end, and David realized the silence had stretched out between them.

  ‘Sorry.’

  ‘Well, what do you think of what I’ve said?’

  ‘Well,’ said David slowly, ‘the war might go on for some time yet, but I’m no
longer on active service, and so I don’t see any reason now why we should delay having a child.’

  Kate squealed with delight and threw her arms about David’s neck. ‘Oh, David,’ she said. ‘Do you mean it? It’s all I really want. When I thought I had lost you, I regretted that I didn’t have even a part of you, however hard it might have been.’

  David was moved by the emotion in Kate’s voice and he held her tight as she changed the mood by saying impishly, ‘Anyway, haven’t you reminded me earlier that I have already promised to obey you.’

  ‘Is that so?’ David said.

  ‘Yes. That’s what you said, anyway.’

  ‘Oh, right,’ David said with an answering smile. ‘If that’s the way it is, then I demand a kiss, woman.’

  ‘Pleased to oblige,’ Kate said, and she went into David’s arms with a sigh of contentment.

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  Far From Home tells the story of Kate, an Irish girl who comes to work in Birmingham just a few years before the last war, encouraged by her mother because she was in love with a man she could never marry. Although she mourned for the man she had loved, she eventually faced the fact that he was lost to her and she began dating David Burton who she married just before war was declared and as soon as it was official he volunteered for the RAF. Shortly afterwards, Kate, wanting to do her bit, became an ARP warden, helping in areas of the city through the Blitz, while David faces similar risks in the air. Then two and a half years into the war, David is posted as missing and a few months later, Kate uncovers a secret that turns her world upside down.

  I don’t know where I got the idea for this story and I seldom do, though it seems to be the one thing that most interests people when I give talks. Very occasionally I can pinpoint something that set off my train of thought, but more often characters and ideas just pop into my head.