Accidentally Catty

by Dakota Cassidy

“Tell me.”

  “I’m here if you decide your backbone needs alignment.”

  Ohhhh, the thought of his hands on her backbone brought with it a vivid sensory overload. She shifted out of his grasp. It helped her to think more clearly. “My backbone?”

  “Yep, you know the thing that thing you’re supposed to use to take up for yourself? I’m happy to help you find it again should you ever want to use that sharp tongue on anyone other than me.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind. We’d better get back. Aunt Teeny will be making dinner, and after this morning, she’d be disappointed if you weren’t there to sample her Tater Tot hot dish.”

  His chuckle was easy, his hesitant glance filled with playfulness as he went from dark to light in a matter of a glance. “Should I ask?”

  Katie smiled, inching further away from the delicious shelter his body offered. “You should always ask when it comes to Aunt Teeny’s cooking. I’ll see you at dinner.”

  Beck didn’t follow her inside. Instead, she caught a glimpse of him staring off into the wooded area that separated her clinic from the animal park as she closed the front door and all but ran up the stairs to the safety of her room.

  Running.

  How ironic.

  She’d done a lot of that lately.

  There was no reason she should stop now.

  CHAPTER 9

  After a raucous dinner with the crew, Teeny, and some Tater Tot hot dish, she’d napped and taken a long, hot shower. She’d also spent a little time looking up amnesia online, and had left the Internet with little more than she knew already. Beck’s amnesia was trauma related. His memory could return at any time or not at all.

  With a sigh, Katie crossed the room to give each member of the mob a kiss on their sleeping heads.

  After a brief conversation with Li’l Anthony about what Tink and Delray had offered, Katie’d given up. Anthony had no explanation as to why he could suddenly communicate with her but Dozer and the rest couldn’t. Then he’d announced himself asswhooped and passed out on his favorite pillow with Petey and Paulie right behind him. They curled together in a mass of black and tan fur.

  She sighed, glancing at the bedside clock, which told her she needed to move it.

  She let the towel fall from her body but stopped short when she caught a glimpse of her breasts in the standing mirror under the light from her overhead fan.

  Hmmm.

  Was the word she was looking for whoa or weeee?

  She knew her boobs like a man knew his trunk. They were intimate with one another. They had a relationship like no other and in that relationship, shouldn’t they have notified her if they’d decided to go to the plane known as perky?

  Obviously, someone from the Newly Revived Booby Society had forgotten to send her the memo.

  Holy mother of hooters.

  Maybe her eyes were on the fritz due to her cat-titude. She peered closer into the mirror, then raised her arms over her head just like she had a million times in the past years when she mourned her breasts’ downhill slide.

  She’d once joked that as a vet, if she didn’t have to worry she’d lose the use of her fingers due to numbness, she’d just walk around with her arms in the air so her nah-nahs would be shelved where they rightfully belonged.

  Oh, there was no denying this. The girls were upright and winking at her from high atop their youthful perches. Perches they’d staunchly refused to sit upon without the aid of a Miracle Bra for at least six years now.

  Moonlight from her bedroom window streamed in, as though the heavens had opened up and were singing a chorus of joyous hallelujahs on behalf of 36Ds everywhere.

  Katie cocked her head, yanking the towel from her waist to get a full-on view of her body.

  Her eyebrows shot upward when she turned sideways.

  Oh, Beyoncé.

  Tell me, Miss Bootylicious? Are you ready? Can you handle this? Do you have a sad because my ass rocks?

  Because it’s high, round, and cellulite free?

  Boom, baby!

  How insane. It had to be a trick of the light—or dementia. Or . . . more cougar shifting characteristics? Katie made her way to the edge of her bed and sank into it. Her hand caught her eye—it was almost back to normal with only a slight deformity to the side of it. Caught between her human form and her cougar form, she supposed.

  So when would this shift happen, and wouldn’t it be a handy frickin’ thing if it happened tonight—when she most needed to blend with her fellow mammals? Terror crept into her bones, leaving her immobilized. Had she just wished to shift?

  She stole a deep breath, fighting the fear welling in her chest. This shifting thing could only be shoved to the recesses of her mind for so long before it had to be addressed. What if it happened in public? Could it be controlled? Did it hurt? Marty and Wanda didn’t look worse for the wear when they’d shifted, yet maybe it was different for cougars.

  The bedside alarm clock said ten of twelve. There was no time to spend wasted on even the slightest trepidation. Beck would be waiting for their animal park rendezvous at midnight. She rushed to find a pair of jeans and a top, resisting the ridiculous urge to locate something Beck would find appealing. Besides, it was too cold for cute.

  Nabbing a thick, red turtleneck, she pulled it over her braless breasts and winked at herself in the mirror when she smoothed it over her waist with a smug smile, forgetting she was sacrificing a hand for the ta-tas of a twenty-year-old.

  As she pulled her hair up into a high ponytail, the round lights surrounding her bathroom mirror shone on a much less desirable affliction.

  Glancing up at the ceiling, she gave whoever was in charge a glare of discontent. Pointing to her chin, she asked, “Is this some kind of trade-off for the boob/butt job?”

  With a disgusted sigh, Katie popped open the medicine cabinet and rummaged until she found her tweezers, plucking three coarse hairs that certainly hadn’t been there this morning when she woke. She addressed whoever was in charge of the universe. “Look. I didn’t ask for the boobs and butt, and I definitely would have turned the offer down if I’d known if meant chin hair in return. Maybe next time we could consult about the fair trades act?”

  A knock on her door made her jump, making the tweezers fall to the ground with a clatter. “Just a sec,” she yelled. She ran a hand over her chin to be sure she’d caught all of her little hairy enemies before popping her door open.

  Wanda, fresh and smelling of lilies of the valley, smiled at her. “You ready?”

  Katie grabbed her down jacket and threw it on, casting a glance at the dogs that ironically hadn’t broken into their usual screeching barks when someone knocked on the door. “As ready as I can be, risking jail time and more hate mail.”

  Wanda’s face went sympathetic, her warm, brown eyes gentle. “God, I had no idea, Katie. What a bunch of narrow-minded, backward-ass people in this town. To attack your living the way they do, especially when you’re such a good veterinarian, is a sin.”

  Katie hooded her eyes to avoid contact with Wanda’s. Somehow, she didn’t think Wanda would understand that she and her very own brand of stupidity had brought some of that hatred on. “On the bright side, I did have a patient today.”

  Wanda giggled as she followed Katie down the stairs. “So I’ve heard—and he talks. I thought I’d seen it all, but I find I learn something new almost daily about this thing we call paranormal. Please tell me you can talk to Muffin. Marty’s hair would stand right on end . . .”

  “That’s what’s so strange about this particular nuance. There are some animals I can communicate with while others simply mumble incoherently.”

  Wanda’s head bobbed. “Ah, the sweet mysteries of life, eh? Maybe it’ll just take some fine-tuning. One thing about the paranormal, it’s never predictable.”

  Katie stopped her at the bottom of the steps. “Do you . . . I mean, are you happy as a werevamp? Would you go back to being human if you could?”

  Wanda cocked he
r head, but she didn’t appear to hesitate. “Not without Heath, I wouldn’t. Sure, there are things I miss about being human, but there are also things I’d miss if I wasn’t a shifter.”

  “I miss fucking Twinkies, yo,” Nina said from the interior of the darkened kitchen, appearing out of the dark confines, pale and beautiful. “I miss chicken wings and pizza and a damn Starbucks white chocolate mocha.” Yet her smile was fond. “But Wanda’s right. I’d miss Greg more. There are compensations. I mean, I can fly.”

  Her stomach dove hard to her feet. “But you’ll live forever. That scares the hell out of me,” Katie confessed, something that had been weighing heavily on her mind. “What if being a cougar means I’ll live to watch everyone I love die—forever?”

  Nina, almost incandescent in the dim kitchen, shot her a look of total understanding. Rare and fleeting, but comforting nonetheless. “There are downsides to this, no doubt, Doc. There’s nothing I want to do less than watch my Granny Lou die and live with it forever, but it is what it is. I’ve accepted it. Don’t kid yourself into thinking I didn’t flip my nut when I found out, but it’s been a couple of years, and I’m dealing.”

  Beck came in from outside, and the cold air he brought with him held a foreboding that left Katie shivering. “You flip a . . . nut, did you say? I’ll assume that meant you went homicidal. I can’t tell you how uncharacteristic I find that when relating that phrase to you. You’re the most passive vampire I’ve ever met, Nina.” He grinned, jamming his hands into the jeans Wanda had bought him in town before they were arrested.

  Jeans that made her mouth dry at the way they hugged his ass and clung to his thighs.

  His young gay thighs. Yes, there was that to comfort her.

  “You, shut it.” Nina pointed at Beck with a teasing smile. “Or I’ll show you passive in a sentence that ends with my fist.” Then she leaned into Katie and muttered, “Maybe young, but no to the gay. He’s not Brokeback paranormal. I know that’s what you were hoping for because it makes your drooling over him easier to live with. I hate to be the crusher of dreams, but well, I’m good at it.” She shrugged as though to apologize when Katie blushed.

  “Hey, matchmaker. Zip it.” Wanda grabbed Nina by the back of her black hoodie and dragged her deeper into the kitchen.

  “So, are we ready to do this?” Beck smiled at her in the semidark, bringing a small measure of secure warmth to Katie’s heart that she fought with every fiber of her being. If he wasn’t gay, then he was just way too young. There’d be no cougaring him up. And she was left sad by the notion but firm in her resolve.

  “I’m petrified,” she admitted, hoping the tremble in her voice wouldn’t reveal itself.

  On the other hand, Beck looked relaxed and confident. He’d shown more fear when Nina had threatened him than he did about going into the animal park and possibly running into unforeseen trouble. “I’ll be with you.”

  “You’re not at all afraid that first, we might get caught, and second, we’ll be eaten alive by some ferocious carnivore?”

  “You know, I can’t quite explain it, but going to the animal park brings me a certain kind of peace. I’m not at all afraid of what’s going on in there.”

  “Which could make you reckless.”

  His dark eyebrow cocked upward. “I prefer to think of myself as an asset.”

  “You would.”

  “Someone has to. My self-esteem could quite possibly end up in the loo amidst all you women.”

  Nina stepped in front of them to keep them from fighting their way out the door. “Listen, you two watch your asses. Neither one of you has the ability to save yourselves from some mad-ass rhino if he can’t shift, and you still don’t know how to—or even if you can shift at all. So lay low, dudes. See if you can’t get into the office and that’s it. If I have to come save your shitters from some hungry lion, I’ll be pissed.” She looked at Katie. “And I want you to know, I’m against you going alone with only Benny Hill here to protect you. I still say we should be going with.”

  “And risk getting caught? Not on your unlife, Nina,” Katie said. “If I’m caught, I’m breaking a restraining order. If you and Wanda are caught, it’s probably considered tampering with evidence. There’s a police investigation going on, and you’re both involved. You’ve already done enough where my predicament’s concerned. I won’t allow you to be hauled back to jail.”

  She threw her hands up in acquiescence. “You have a point, and if we’re playing this clean to keep suspicion low so you won’t have the Beverly Hillbillies beatin’ down your door, I can’t mess with any minds to erase anything. It wouldn’t change the fact that the old man’s in the hospital anyway. So do me this, make sure we’re on your speed dial in case something goes down. Text me, call me, tweet, whatever, but don’t think you can take on a litter of kitties alone.”

  “Wouldn’t that be a pride?” Beck quipped, tugging a black, knit hat down over his head.

  Nina grinned. “Get the fuck out of here before I steal your pride by kicking your ass in front of a bunch of girls.”

  “Be safe, and any sign of anyone, get out,” Wanda warned. “I know you’re the best candidate for this, Katie, because you’re more likely to understand any medically experimental documentation, but I don’t like it. In this case, I almost believe brawn is better than brains.”

  “Fuckin’ A, it is,” Nina agreed.

  Wanda shook her head. “Forget I said that. Go. Be careful. We’ll wait. If you’re not back in an hour—we’re coming to find you. No arguments.” She gave Katie’s arm a squeeze as she and Beck headed out into the cold night.

  As they walked into the thick of the woods, the scent of wood-burning stoves in the air, it occurred to her that neither one of them had taken out the flashlights they each carried in their pockets so they’d be able to actually see through the thick pine trees separating her aunt Teeny’s from the animal park.

  Katie instantly stopped walking, a cold puff of air escaping her lips. “Do you see what I see?”

  Beck came up short next to her, his shoulder brushing hers. “A star, a star, dancing in the night?”

  Katie smirked at his Christmas carol reference. How many twenty-year-olds knew that song? “No. I mean, can you see as clearly as I can? It’s pitch-black out here, but I can see everything as though the sun is shining and there’s not a cloud in the sky. It’s a little like having night-vision goggles on. For instance, that fern there.” She pointed to her left at a log where a wild fern grew freely. “I can see every detail to it.”

  He glanced around the wooded area and nodded, putting his hands in the back pocket of his jeans. “I didn’t even realize it until you pointed it out, but you’re right.”

  “Maybe you’ve just always taken it for granted—as a cougar, I mean.”

  “Maybe. It definitely didn’t seem out of the ordinary at all to me.”

  Katie shook her head in wonder. “All these changes . . .” She thought of her breasts and wondered out loud, “I can’t wait to see what happens next.”

  His teeth glowed in the dark when he smiled at that notion. The tufts of hair peeking out beneath his cap and curling against his neck made him more biker hot than ever. “The kid in me keeps hoping for wings and X-ray vision.”

  “That’s all there is in you,” Katie remarked dryly, again assaulted by a resentment she could only trace back to this wild attraction she felt to a man she’d known but a couple of days.

  His sigh was gruff, filled with impatience. “Hold on there, lady. So tell me. What’s up Katie’s ass tonight?”

  Well, in celebration of her new, younger ass, a thong, thank you. A lavender, frilly, satiny thong-tha-thong-thong-thong. She bristled at yet another shrewd observation from the eighth-grader. “Nothing’s up my ass.” Katie began to make her way to the steep decline in the hill that would lead to the parking lot of the animal park.

  But Beck didn’t budge. His work-boot clad feet remained immobile. “You’re prickly. I can smell
it on you. So what’s the problem now?”

  She kept her back to him, inhaling the chilled air, forcing back the urge to participate with more defensiveness. “I have no problem.”

  He stalked up behind her, grabbing her arm and whirling her around. His nostrils flared and his eyes narrowed. “Oh, you’ve got one all right, and I know just what it is, Katie.”

  Hah. What did he know of adult problems? “I promise it has nothing to do with the rumor they’re taking the marshmallows out of the Lucky Charms box.”

  He ignored her umpteenth jab at his youth by hitching his jaw in her direction. “You’re conflicted.”

  “No. I’m afflicted. With a paw and the Dr. Doolittle syndrome.” And whiskers. Jesus, what kind of sadistic Ruler of the Universe would give her whiskers before she’d even experienced her first hot flash?

  “No, Dr. Woods. That’s not the problem here, and you know it.”

  Katie rolled her tongue over her lips. “Did you also, in your amnesiac state, forget you have a degree in psychiatry?”

  “It doesn’t take a degree to see why you’re so sensitive.”

  “I’m turning into a cat. A. Cat. You know, meow? I imagine there’s a degree of sensitivity involved in losing parts of your humanity and gaining some whiskers and a paw. Not to mention the added thrill of canine communication.”

  “Whiner.”

  Katie’s lips thinned in anger. “Did you just have the nads to call me a whiner?”

  “That was me. All nads, resident amnesiac, and imposer upon your quiet, if not dull life.”

  The. Nerve. Her life wasn’t dull. It was Zen, baby. A very quiet Zen. “Because?”

  “Because despite the fact that you have a paw and a stray unwanted hair or two, you’ve also gained a reprieve from the dreaded middle-aged rack sag. Might I also mention, your back end has been given an enormous gift minus a surgeon’s skillful knife? And yes, I noticed, though the first version I leered at was fine, too. Those two attributes alone are gifts some women would consider a more than fair trade-off. You just won’t see the glass is half full.”