Rumble
Page 30
But Maybe Normal Is Overrated
Because abnormal me
has discovered that I’ve got
a lot to live for. My family—
near and extended—has rallied
around me. As I recovered,
both pairs of grandparents
spent many hours reading to me
Yes, the Creswell coots read
from the Bible, but I couldn’t hear
most of it anyway, not even when
they AMPLIFIED. And, much to
my amusement, Grandpa Coot also
read James Bond—his “guilty pleasure.”
What was truly important, lying
there in the semidarkness,
was the company, and I also found
that with aunts, uncles, cousins,
and friends, many of whom
I’d thought lost to me. Funny
how a near-death experience
brings perspective, both to the guy
who almost died, and also
to those who just about lost him.
Best of All
Abnormal me has a stellar
girlfriend. Alexa is my bedrock,
and as I work on dressing myself
in the clothes Lorelei laid out for
me (color coordination was never
my best thing, but now it’s ridiculous),
she’s in the living room, waiting
to drive me (in the Ford, which needs
a good romp that I can’t give it at
the moment) to Uncle Jessie’s wedding.
He and Quin delayed their nuptials
until I could get on my feet again.
He probably wouldn’t have, as anxious
as he was, but Quin insisted. It’s kind
of the least we can do, considering
he got blown up on your behalf,
don’t you think? Not much he could
say to that. Weirdly, his heart attack
might very well have saved his life.
What probably salvaged mine
were the first responders who pulled
me from the rubble and stanched
the bleeding. Glad they finished
their doughnuts and got there when they did.
Near As I Can Tell
From the intensity of light through my
window (muted though my traitor
eyes might interpret it), it’s a gorgeous
spring day. Perfect for saying “I do”
on an old covered bridge, family
gathered round. I’m including Lorelei
in that description. She has also
been wonderful to me, and though
I still question the way they went
about it, I have come to terms with
Dad’s relationship with her. Mom
has forged ahead with her new life,
as I must with mine, whatever the end
product might be. I’ll probably never
be a shooting team star, but I will
go to college and hopefully discover
my passion. Who knows? Maybe it
is politics, but until I go looking,
how can I ever find it? I might even
study comparative religion.
I’ve Thought and Thought
About what happened
in the hospital, and I still
have no clue if my close
encounter was real or imagined.
But it has unlocked my mind
to possibilities. And those
are something I’m eager
to explore. The door opens
and Alexa glides across
the room, at least, that’s
how it looks to me. Now
she straightens the buttons
I’ve managed to get crooked.
Then she lifts up on her toes
to give me a kiss, and it is soft
and warm, filled with promise.
When she breaks away, I pull
her back close, promise, “I love
you.” Because if there’s one
thing I’ve learned through all
this, it’s to have faith in love.
* * *
Author’s Note
The idea for Rumble germinated a couple of years ago. It was right after the second of two mosque burnings here in the US. As a card-carrying liberal Lutheran whose beliefs run more toward the spiritual than the biblical, I posted on Facebook: We all serve one Creator, meaning Christians, Jews, Muslims and, in fact, all human beings. I was prepared for a negative backlash, but not for the comment that came from a sixteen-year-old girl.
It’s awfully arrogant of you to think we have to believe in anything, she said. I happen to be an atheist.
Her comment struck a chord. In considering it, I kept coming back to the thought that being a teen should be about asking big questions, rather than cutting yourself off from them. Not, “there can’t possibly be,” but, rather, “what if there is?” Or even, “what if it’s completely different than anyone assumes?”
When I’m building stories, my characters spring to life and often tell me things about themselves I didn’t know going in. Matt’s interest in guns was a surprise, but I went with it, and it completely suits his character. His uncle Jessie and the veteran Gus were unplanned originally, but served to facilitate the climax of the book. I had researched PTSD for Collateral, so I understood why war vets sometimes go off. On a personal level, while I enjoy target shooting, I also believe stricter gun regulations are necessary to prevent incidents like the one in this book.
Probably the most interesting piece of information my research for Rumble netted was in looking at why some bullied kids commit suicide while the majority of them don’t. The common denominator seems to be depression, which is rooted in brain chemistry and can be intensified by external pressures. Antidepressants can be tricky in teens, sometimes even initiating a suicide attempt.
I do research every book heavily. Primary research is best, and I talk to many different people who have experienced the things I write about. Sometimes they’ve touched me personally, as is the case with book challenges. Usually my characters share my opinions, but not always, and I have to remain true to who they are. When I said they spring to life, they do.
Some interesting statistics:
• According to the Department of Veteran Affairs (VA), our armed forces face an epidemic of suicide, with a service member committing suicide every 25 hours and a veteran committing suicide every 65 minutes.
• Also according to the VA, “the presence of firearms in households has been linked to increased risk of injury or death for everyone in or around the home, usually as an impulsive act during some disagreement.”
• According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people, resulting in some 4,400 deaths per year. For every suicide among young people, there are at least 100 suicide attempts.
• Bullying victims are 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than nonvictims, according to studies by Yale University.
• A study in England found that at least half of suicides among young people are related to bullying.
Suicide is a complex issue, exacerbated by depression, feelings of hopelessness, lack of self-esteem, family problems, and other factors. Signs of depression and thoughts of suicide are:
• Dropping grades
• Losing interest in favorite activities
• Withdrawing socially
• Sleeping more or less than normal
• Throwing or giving away treasured items
• Marked changes in personality
If you notice these symptoms in a friend or loved one, take action right away. Help is available. Don’t be afraid to ask for it.
Also by Ellen Hopkins
Crank
Burned
Impulse
Gla
ss
Identical
Tricks
Fallout
Perfect
Tilt
Smoke
* * *
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MARGARET K. McELDERRY BOOKS • An imprint of Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing Division • 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, New York 10020 • www.SimonandSchuster.com • This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. • Text copyright © 2014 by Ellen Hopkins • Jacket illustration copyright © 2014 by Sammy Yuen Jr. • All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. • MARGARET K. MCELDERRY BOOKS is a trademark of Simon & Schuster, Inc. • The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event, contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at www.simonspeakers.com. • Interior design by Mike Rosamilia • Jacket design by Sammy Yuen Jr. • Book edited by Emma D. Dryden • The text for this book is set in Chaparral Pro and Trade Gothic Condensed No. 18. • Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data • Hopkins, Ellen. • Rumble / Ellen Hopkins. • p. cm. • Summary: Eighteen-year-old Matt’s atheism is tested when, after a horrific accident of his own making that plunges him into a dark, quiet place, he hears a voice that calls everything he has ever disbelieved into question. • ISBN 978-1-4424-8284-5 (hardcover) • ISBN 978-1-4424-8286-9 (eBook) • [1. Novels in verse. 2. Atheism—Fiction. 3. Family problems—Fiction. 4. Dating (Social customs)—Fiction. 5. High schools—Fiction. 6. Schools—Fiction. 7. Grief—Fiction.] I. Title. • PZ7.5.H67Rum 2014 • [Fic]—dc23 • 2013037681