Tagan's Child

by ammyford1

  My knees buckled and I fell to the ground relieving myself of the cup of tea I’d had at the police station earlier. “Oh God,” I muttered and took a few deep breaths waiting for the painful stomach spasms to subside. I rocked back onto my bottom, putting my head between my knees and gradually began to feel more normal. Maybe travel sickness tablets would help in future.

  I took off my jacket and sat there for a few moments more. The sun was high in the sky and the air’s clarity made my eyes hurt. In my haste to get to Ramia I’d forgotten my sunglasses. It seemed impossible that anywhere could be so warm and bright when at home it was so dark, damp and cold.

  My eyes gradually acclimatised and once again I was knocked out by the view. The neat, beautifully organised town, the winding river in the distance, the palace nestled in its place in the hillside all dominated by the two magnificent mountain ranges residing over it all. I gazed across the valley contemplating seeing Ahran again and my stomach did a different kind of spasm, sending a shot of adrenaline to my fingertips. Surely he would have gone back to his farm by now. I got to my feet, and after picking my way down the hillside, arrived at the inner gates of the palace. The circumstances surrounding my recent departure came back all too clearly. As much as I wanted to see Toby I questioned whether I’d come back too early. I hesitated before taking a deep breath and announced my arrival and the big wooden gates at the palaces’ entrance opened as if by magic.

  I made my way across the courtyard and up the steps to the front door, which with impeccable timing, opened as my foot touched the top step. My heart was in my throat and I could hear the blood rushing through my ears. I tried to block out all thoughts of that night but failed miserably.

  A servant greeted me and I followed on nervously. We hadn’t quite made it to the King’s drawing room when Toby suddenly appeared and came rushing down the corridor at full pelt.

  “Auntie Sophie!” He threw his arms around my waist and I sank to my knees returning his embrace. I buried my face into his hair and breathed in the familiar smell of him.

  “Why did it take you so long to come back?” he said with such feeling and disappointment I don’t know why I ever doubted how he felt about me.

  “I’m sorry.” Tears began to sting my eyes. “There were a few things I had to sort out, but I’m here now and we’ve got the whole weekend ahead of us.” I gave him another squeeze

  Halsan and Leylana joined us in the corridor. “He’s really missed you,” Leylana said, her head cocked to one side.

  “And, I’ve really missed you,” I said, looking him in the eyes.

  “We are glad to have you here again,” the King said, interrupting our little reunion.

  I stood up and kissed the King and Queen on the cheek. I wasn’t quite sure how it felt to see them. During my time away Halsan had taken on a rather ugly persona in my head. The bad guy, the man who wanted to keep my nephew locked away from me in another universe, but seeing him in the flesh, so welcoming and genuinely pleased to see me, made me feel bad I had ever thought he had anything but Toby’s best interest at heart. My nephew was sporting a tan and looked bursting with good health. His stay in Dinara had obviously done him the world of good.

  “Sophie, are you okay?” Leylana asked in a concerned voice.

  “I had a particularly rough time travelling through the portal this time,” I replied in an attempt to explain the change in my appearance. They didn’t need to know I had barely managed to keep my body and soul together since I’d returned to Earth.

  “Have you been unwell?” she asked undeterred.

  “Oh, yes, I’ve had a stomach bug,” I lied, feeling the need to come up with something more convincing. There was a hint of suspicion in the way Leylana looked at me, as if she knew precisely why I was not looking so good.

  “I’m feeling much better now though thanks.” Even though she looked less than satisfied with my answer, she left it at that thankfully.

  “Well, you must come in and have something to eat, we are about to have lunch.”

  With our arms linked, Toby and I followed the royal couple into the drawing room where the table, as always, was laden with food.

  “So tell me, what you’ve been up to,” I enquired as we sat down, but not before my eyes had surveyed the room to check Ahran wasn’t sat in one of the armchairs.

  “I’ve been learning Ramian. Listen. ‘Graatcha, hollhir choa?’” Toby looked at Leylana. “That’s right isn’t it Grams?”

  I wasn’t sure if I was more struck by him sounding like a native or by him having just called Leylana, ‘Grams’.

  Leylana nodded encouragingly. “Perfect.”

  Toby smiled at me looking pleased with himself.

  “Very good Toby, what does it mean?” I asked

  “It means, ‘Hello, how are you?’”

  “It looks like I’ve got some catching up to do.”

  “Don’t worry Auntie Sophie, I’ll teach you,” he replied with an air of confidence.

  “Please, do start,” Halsan said, motioning for me to take some bread. Servants appeared and started spooning a spicy smelling meat dish onto our plates.

  “Tell your Aunt about the races Toby,” Halsan prompted.

  “You ought to see Paps and Grams’ horses, they are so beautiful and fast,” he responded enthusiastically. “We went to see them race and two of their horses won!” Toby spoke of his grandparents with affection and their new titles rolled off his tongue as if he had been using them all his life. I made no comment, keen to hear more about what had been filling my nephew’s life since I had been away. “Wow! That sounds exciting.”

  “When one of their horses came back to the winner’s enclosure the jockey let me sit on him.” My little nephew’s face beamed.

  “You’ve had a fantastic time by all accounts.”

  “Although I’ve had to do school work,” he said with a grimace.

  “That’s alright, you like school work.”

  “I know, but this is all new stuff.”

  “It’s different to what you are used to Toby, but you are smart, you will soon get the hang of it,” Halsan said reassuringly.

  I was pleased the King and Queen were keen for Toby not to get behind with his schooling even though I had no idea what he was being taught.

  “So other than the language what else have you been learning?” I asked.

  Toby’s mouth was full so the King spoke for him. “Toby is being tutored for a couple of hours each day in Maths, Ramian and History. Eventually he will go to school here.”

  My heart sank and my eyes darted towards Toby to see how the idea of starting a new school in Ramia sat with him. He didn’t show much of a reaction as he continued to eat. The matter had obviously been discussed.

  “How do you feel about that Toby?” I asked.

  He shrugged. “I guess if I’m going to be King one day I need to learn about Ramia.”

  I had a strong suspicion these weren’t his words. I wanted to discuss his future and how he felt about everything but not with the King and Queen present. “What else have you been doing?” I asked, changing the subject.

  “Uncle Ahran took me to see his farm.”

  My head snapped up automatically and I quickly looked back down towards my plate realising my error. Judging by the glimpse I caught of Leylana’s expression my reaction hadn’t gone unnoticed.

  “It was awesome. He took me for a ride on his quad bike,” Toby continued, oblivious to the effect the mention of Ahran’s name had had on my composure. The desire to clap my hands over my ears and make a lot of noise to avoid hearing what he was saying was almost as strong as the desire to listen intently.

  “He told me all about the cows he’s getting and he said I could go and stay with him if I wanted to.”

  I groaned inwardly, I was never going to be able to cut Ahran out of my life, he would always be there in the background tormenting me. What would Toby think of his uncle if he knew he had caused his mother’s death
? It suddenly occurred to me whether even the King and Queen knew what had happened. I wanted to cause him as much pain as he had caused me. Maybe I would ask them later.

  “That would be fun.” I tried to sound unaffected by the direction the conversation had taken.

  “You could come and stay too,” Toby suggested.

  “Maybe,” I replied.

  Both Halsan and Leylana had been listening to the conversation.

  “Ahran moved into his farm earlier this week,” Halsan said.

  I couldn’t be sure whether he had said this deliberately to gauge my reaction or whether he was just making conversation. Leylana was easier to read, she was quite clearly waiting to hear my response.

  “That’s good news.” I tried to sound like an interested friend, even though I was willing them to change the subject. My chest was beginning to feel tight.

  “Have you spoken to Ahran since you’ve been back home?” Leylana asked. They obviously weren’t going to leave the subject of their nephew alone.

  “Er, no, I haven’t,” I managed to say as light-heartedly as possible.

  “He seemed quite upset when you left and we were wondering whether you had settled your differences?” she continued, almost too nonchalantly.

  I frowned, I couldn’t believe she was asking me about this in front of Toby. I looked her in the eye. “Could we talk about this later?” I asked, although I felt like saying it really wasn’t any of her business.

  She nodded. “Yes of course. Have you thought what you might like to do today?”

  “I wondered about taking Toby down to that beach, the one we went to the last time I was here.” I wanted to spend the day with him on my own without the King and Queen getting in our way.

  “Yes, I’m sure that will be okay.” Leylana looked at Halsan for approval. He nodded. “You will be escorted by our bodyguards of course.”

  I understood we wouldn’t be completely alone but that was good enough. I didn’t know yet whether Halsan had been successful in dealing with Bazeera but I guessed bodyguards were going to be a fact of life for Toby from now on.

  “Do you fancy that Toby?”

  “Yeah!” Toby replied enthusiastically.

  “Is there anything you need Sophie?” Leylana asked.

  “A couple of towels would be good.”

  She nodded. “I’ll have the kitchen make up a snack for you as well.”

  “Thanks.” Not that I thought we needed it, I was stuffed after having eaten more food in the last half an hour than I had in the last five days.

  After we’d had dessert, I wiped my mouth on the napkin. “I think I’ll go and freshen up if you don’t mind.”

  “Not at all, you are in the same room as last time,” Leylana said.

  “Great. Thanks.” I turned to Toby. “Meet you out the front in half an hour?” I felt ridiculously excited by the prospect of spending the day with him.

  “Okay,” he replied.

  “Thank you for lunch, it was delicious,” I said, standing up.

  “You are welcome Sophie,” Halsan responded. “It’s nice to have you back.”

  I left the three of them at the table and went to my room.

  I sat on the edge of the bed. Thinking back to when I was last here, it seemed like an eon ago, or like it had happened to someone else. My mind drifted back to the morning after my night with Ahran, it had been incredible and I didn’t want the recent revelation to sully the happiness I had felt then. If I could just compartmentalise the Ahran I had known before Talina had spilled the beans, then at least those memories would provide me with some solace. But the problem though with allowing one memory through, was that it opened the floodgates to all the other memories of the time Ahran and I had spent together. I had pretty successfully managed to bury them but now they and their associated emotions flooded my consciousness. It was more than I could bear and I curled into a ball on the bed trying to shield myself from the onslaught. I began to cry deep wracking, self-pitying sobs until every muscle in my stomach ached from the exertion.

  Slowly, my tears began to subside until I just whimpered like some poor, pathetic injured animal. It was the tip of the iceberg as far as my grieving process was concerned but in some ways it was a relief to realise I had survived it. There had been a point where I felt like it might consume me.

  I pulled myself up off the bed, went into the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. The puffiness around my eyes would easily give me away. I folded the hand towel and held it under the running water before holding it against my eyes, the coolness soothed a little. I repeated the process several times and reappraised my appearance. With a bit of make-up I might just get away with it, even if my lips did look like I’d had Botox.

  I retrieved my make-up bag from my rucksack and smoothed some concealer over the dark circles under my eyes. I put the rest of my make up on before slipping into a swimming costume and some lighter trousers. I decided I would do my damnedest not to let any thoughts of Ahran spoil my day with Toby. I raked my hair into a pony tail and went to join him at the front of the palace. He was waiting for me on the top step.

  “Hey there monkey,” I said as cheerfully as I could. “Up for some serious sandcastle building and hole digging then?” I had to admit the idea of hiding with Toby in one of his holes didn’t seem like such a bad idea.

  “Sure am, I’ve put some spades Grams gave me in the boot of the car,” he said, pointing to a shiny black hover car with blacked out windows. It was one of three waiting outside the palace.

  “Excellent, shall we go then?”

  “Here is some food in case you get hungry,” Leylana called as she came out of the palace followed by a servant carrying a basket.

  “Thanks very much.” We made our way down the steps and one of the bodyguards put our picnic in the boot.

  Leylana joined us by the car. “There are some blankets in the car in case you get cold.” Although, why she thought we would be cold I had no idea, the temperature must have been approaching thirty degrees. “There’s some sunscreen in the picnic basket too,” she added. She was hovering like an anxious mother sending her child off for his first day at school.

  “Thanks,” I gave her a little hug and she hugged me back.

  “Have fun you two.” I think if I had said, ‘Why don’t you join us?’ She would have been in the car like a flash but I had no intention of doing so, this was mine and Toby’s day.

  The doors shut silently and we left the palace behind us.

  I glanced at the rigid backs of the body guards sat in the front seats. I didn’t want to say too much to Toby in the car, I didn’t know how much would get back to the King and Queen.

  “So, are you okay?” I asked, gently nudging Toby’s leg.

  “Yeah,” he said nodding, “but I’ve missed you.”

  “I’m sorry Tobes, I didn’t mean to leave you like that.” I hadn’t worked out what I was going to say to him and he’d caught me off-guard. I thought about it for a moment. “Somebody said something very hurtful which meant I couldn’t stay any longer, I had to go home and have some time to think.”

  “Was it something uncle Ahran said?”

  I paused. “No it was somebody else, but it doesn’t matter now. I’m really sorry for leaving without telling you, I won’t do it again. I promise.” I took hold of his hand and gave it a squeeze.

  “You seem to be getting on very well with your grandparents, do you like them?”

  “Yeah. Paps can be quite strict sometimes but Grams lets me do whatever I want.”

  “You are very important to them.”

  “I know,” he said in that way that kids do, when they’re not being boastful, just honest.

  “Where did you get their names ‘Paps’ and ‘Grams’ from?”

  “Well, I didn’t think I could call a King and Queen grandma and granddad so I asked them what grandchildren call their grandparents in Ramia it was something like Papr..Paproucha and Grama...Grammour but I
didn’t think I’d be able to remember them so I just call them Paps and Grams. I think they quite like it.”

  “Yes, they seem very happy with their new titles,” I agreed.

  He nodded. “Where’s Mungo?”

  “He’s staying with Sandie at the moment.”

  “Can you bring him here?”

  “I don’t know about that,” I said doubtfully. “I’m not sure whether animals can travel through the portal.”

  “Well, I don’t see why they can’t if humans can,” he argued, keen to stifle any objections.

  “Have you asked your Paps and Grams?”

  “I asked Grams whether I could have my dog and she said she would ask Paps.”

  The bitterness had faded somewhat since I’d come back here. I suppose I felt more resigned now. I was beginning to come to terms with things being pretty much out of my control. The best place for Toby at the moment was with the King and Queen and it was foolish of me to try and fight it. It was a harsh realisation but somehow it soothed the deep-rooted anxiety the thought of losing him again had caused. Things were going to be different from now on, that was for sure, but if his reaction to me was anything to go by, I was still important to him.

  The car pulled into the car park next to the beach. It was a bit busier today. I guessed it being a weekend made a difference. We got a few stares as we walked across the sand with our six burly bodyguards but at least they were more appropriately dressed this time in tailored shorts and polo shirts. We headed to the far end of the beach where it was quieter and I laid the picnic mat out on the sand. The sand was hot under our feet and the sea was a shimmering turquoise. We stripped down to our swimwear and I noticed my skin was decidedly paler than Toby’s.

  He began to dig a hole. “Let me put some sunscreen on you.” He put his spade down and came over reluctantly.

  “And put this on,” I handed him a hat from one of the bags.

  “Do I have to?” He protested.

  “Yes you do, the sun is strong and you need to protect your head.” He put it on his head grumpily. I started to rub cream into his little body. It felt so good to be doing something normal with Toby. I could almost forget we were in another universe and that the last two weeks had happened.