SevenSensuousDays

by Tina Donahue

  “I know I shouldn’t have done this,” Felicity continued, talking fast, “but I called Ronnie and asked if Logan had wanted you first. That maybe you couldn’t make it because of a scheduling conflict or something. Ronnie said ‘no’. She asked him about you, and he told her to email him photos and information on her other escorts. He chose Georgiana.”

  Tessa tried to swallow and couldn’t. Tears welled in her eyes. “She’s really pretty, huh?”

  Felicity didn’t say.

  “Built too,” Tessa said. “Like you, right?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe. What’s it matter?”

  “It doesn’t.” Blinking tears from her eyes, Tessa made her voice steady. “Everything’s okay.”

  “Are you kidding? No, it’s not.” Felicity scooted over and hugged Tessa. “I can see how you’re hurting and it’s killing me. Please, come with me to the club. Have some fun. Forget him.”

  How was that supposed to be possible? Only now, Tessa really didn’t have any other choice, did she? He’d gotten on with his life. He’d so easily chosen someone else, someone prettier and thinner, even after all he’d shared with her. Or maybe she was the one who’d been sharing and hadn’t wanted to see anything except her own dumb fantasy. That they were more than client and escort…they were actually friends. Real lovers, rather than just two people going at it as though there was no tomorrow.

  He’d told her he wanted to have a good time. Nothing more.

  Why in the hell hadn’t she believed him?

  “Aw hon,” Felicity said as Tessa’s shoulders shook with her quiet weeping. “Don’t cry. Or do, if you need to. Just don’t let this hurt you so much.”

  “Okay,” she blubbered.

  “Tessa, baby.” Felicity hugged her hard. “I wish I could fix this for you.”

  “It’s okay. I’m fine. Really. I’ll go with you tonight.”

  “Maybe that’s not such a good idea after all.”

  “No, it’s great.” She returned Felicity’s hug, then eased away and swiped at her eyes. “I want to go. Dammit, I’m going to.”

  “All right…but can you try to sound a little happy?”

  Tessa smiled. It felt strange. Forced. “I’ll do better than that.”

  She’d get a grip just as Felicity had advised and start acting like an escort for a change instead of a gullible preteen. Clearing her throat, Tessa grabbed her iPhone.

  Felicity frowned. “Who are you calling?”

  “Ronnie.”

  “Why?”

  To explain that she was ready to see clients. That Ronnie could start booking her for those days, weeks and months after Tessa saw Charles again.

  Because this was only about having a good time and earning a great living. Emotions weren’t in the equation any longer. They never should have been. Hadn’t Felicity tried to tell her that repeatedly?

  Sharing likes and dislikes, goofing around, teasing each other, making love as though it mattered hadn’t made Logan her friend or caused him to fall for her as she’d been doing with him. It had merely given her false hope.

  She recalled when they’d been discussing TV and then books. How surprised he’d seemed that she liked The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and the subsequent novels in the celebrated Millennium trilogy.

  One part of those tales returned to Tessa now—when a character said to the heroine Salander that friendship was the most common form of love.

  When it comes to how you feel, Tessa thought, her heart breaking all over again, because Logan clearly didn’t see things her way. Never had. Never would. He’d chosen Georgiana, gorgeous, thin Georgiana, and had gotten on with his life. His good time.

  For Logan, one of the best things about tonight’s dinner was that he wasn’t the guest of honor. The event celebrated one of his many mentors who sat at the raised table in front, light flooding it.

  Logan’s table was in the back, relatively shadowed and secluded. Four other couples completed the circle, none of them his colleagues, all potential investors and strangers. They hadn’t questioned or even seemed interested in his relationship with Georgiana, a lovely redhead clad in an elegant gown that didn’t show too much cleavage or skin. Its cream shade complemented her fair complexion perfectly. She wore very little jewelry—a pair of dangling pearl earrings and a pearl bracelet that matched the cascade of subtle beading that ran down the left side of her dress.

  The fabric cinched at her waist. Logan regarded the slight curve of her belly, looking for the outline of body jewelry. Perhaps several pearls dangling from her navel. No, wait. Not pearls. Garnets. A deep red that matched her fingernails. He looked at her hands, realizing suddenly that she’d painted her nails an ivory shade that matched her dress. Not red as he’d thought or had imagined.

  She leaned toward him, her perfume something deep and exotic, reminding Logan vaguely of incense. Not flowery and light, like spring.

  “Will Dr. Robinson be giving a speech?” she murmured.

  “He has no choice.”

  Georgiana smiled at Logan’s answer as though she’d found it exceedingly insightful and witty. “I’m sure it will be fascinating. The work all of you do is so wonderful.”

  Logan guessed she’d read up on it in preparation for tonight, since he hadn’t told her anything about what he did. He glanced at her pearl-encrusted evening bag. Small and compact, not anything like the huge purse Tessa had hauled around so she could take her laptop with her.

  There certainly wasn’t any computer in Georgiana’s bag just in case she wanted to do a Google search on what everyone said. So she wouldn’t be bothering him with a lot of silly questions.

  He thought back to Tessa’s, which hadn’t been foolish at all, but bright and perceptive. Even if they hadn’t been, he wouldn’t have minded her asking him to explain something. Her interest had fueled his. He’d boasted like a teenage boy on his first date, eager to prove his prowess. Rather than giving him an adoring you’re-so-big-and-strong look, Tessa had actually challenged him on a few points. Making him think. Stunning him with her insight into a subject she knew very little about.

  It wasn’t that she’d questioned the engineering aspect of it, but the human component. What such a thing would do to a child. How they’d react when told what the surgeons had planned.

  Without thinking, he said, “So you like what we’re doing with magnets?”

  Georgiana didn’t miss a beat. “Let’s say I’m intrigued.” She gave him another smile, then practically stated word-for-word what he’d written in some of his articles.

  Impressive…if he’d just given a lecture with a pop quiz at the end. “What do you think it will do to the children?”

  “Repair what’s wrong,” she answered without hesitation. “Of course, nothing’s perfect. There will probably be some setbacks.”

  Weren’t there always? Marriages that hadn’t work out. Children who hadn’t survived long enough to grow up, their futures stolen. A woman who wanted to be friends in order to make everything else richer, fuller when that wasn’t what Logan had been looking for.

  Georgiana studied him.

  She really was quite beautiful, just as her agency photos had shown. Her shoulder-length hair an amazing titan, not honey blonde, her irises a sheer blue rather than green. Her expression not guileless and filled with unrestrained wonder, but questioning.

  Why? Had she said something he hadn’t heard as he’d been comparing her to Tessa? “What?” he asked.

  “Have you corrected the setbacks your article mentioned?”

  “Not yet. Do you play chess?”

  She stared, clearly surprised at his question. No different from him. Logan had no idea why he’d asked.

  “Unfortunately, no,” she said. “Do you play?”

  Only if Tessa or her client taught him. Logan shook his head and turned to the stage as the announcer introduced Dr. Robinson. Everyone applauded, the sound thunderous.

  Logan heard nothing of the man’s speech. Georgiana laughed
softly, along with the others at their table at something Robinson had said. There was another round of applause muted by Logan’s thoughts. Tessa’s voice in his mind.

  “One of my other clients.”

  Was she with that man tonight playing chess? Becoming friends? Falling in love?

  His chest tightened. Georgiana laughed again.

  “Be happy, okay?” Tessa had said.

  Logan considered what he’d planned for tonight with him and Georgiana, after this dinner. Her agency profile said she was adventurous in bed…nothing was too shocking. She craved it all. She’d deliver pleasure and satisfaction, not yearning, uncertainty, or memories that he couldn’t seem to forget. She’d give him exactly what he told Tessa he needed.

  He clenched his fists. His entire body tensed.

  Be happy.

  For the first time in a long while, Logan intended to.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The wheels of Tessa’s portable cart rattled over the uneven pavement outside the grocery store. Thankfully, the walk to her apartment was only a few blocks. In this heat, in her mood, she wasn’t certain she’d make it.

  Two teens zipped by on skateboards, weaving in and out of the pedestrians with the same skill birds used to avoid being hit by moving cars. One middle-aged man shouted a curse at them. They, in turn, gave him the finger.

  The crowd thinned out a block up. In the distance, Tessa could see her three-story brick building baking beneath the hazy sun. Only the insects seemed to enjoy today’s humidity. She stopped and swung at one persistent fly, causing her ice tea to slosh out of its can.

  Aw crud. Amber liquid dotted her arm, white tee, and beige shorts. Not her best clothes, certainly not what she’d wear on one of her appointments, but at least they’d been clean. Oh crap, her cleaning. How could she have forgotten? The dry cleaner was right next to the grocer’s.

  Dropping her can into a trash receptacle, Tessa debated whether to make the trek back or wait until tomorrow when it was supposed to rain. She blew out a sigh, but continued to haul ass, or rather her groceries, not going back. She wouldn’t need those particular clothes until next weekend. Saturday night, in particular, with one of her regulars.

  A really nice guy who should have been a stand-up comic rather than the division head of a top-secret something or other at the Food and Drug Administration. His deadpan delivery of what went on during the agency’s meetings always made Tessa laugh. Remembering, she smiled weakly, then sighed.

  You’ll forget Logan. You just have to try harder. Things will get better.

  Tessa’s heart didn’t believe that, nor did her body. Her legs felt leaden. Her soul ached. With the back of her hand, she wiped perspiration from her temple and eyed the shade beneath one of the many trees on this street, wanting to plop down there like some homeless person and simply go to sleep.

  Not that it would help. She’d probably dream of Logan not answering her questions, or him speaking so softly she couldn’t understand what he was trying to say. Worse, he wouldn’t visit her even in sleep, and she’d wake up bereft. Like when she’d been a kid, first missing her mom after she’d moved out, then losing her altogether when she’d died.

  As bad as that had been, her dad remarrying had turned out even worse for her. Tessa hadn’t told Logan the complete truth of how she’d felt forgotten by her father, ignored by her stepmother who already had all the daughters she wanted. How day after day Tessa had tried to engage with all of them, but ultimately became the outsider in her own home where she’d grown up.

  Worse, she became an object of scorn, the same as in school.

  Both of her stepsisters were naturally thin and beautiful. Cheerleader types. They had no trouble making fun of Tessa. Her father had brushed off their cruelty, saying they were just kids. They didn’t mean it.

  Maybe not, but it had nearly killed Tessa.

  Logan wouldn’t have wanted to hear that. He had his own crap to deal with. She was supposed to have helped him have a great time.

  “Nothing more,” he’d said.

  So, did he have that great time with Georgiana? Would he become one of her regulars?

  A dull ache settled in Tessa’s belly and chest. With her face lowered, she slogged toward her building, wanting to get out of this heat, her tea-speckled clothes, and away from the noise that was really beginning to annoy. Music played too loud, the relentless thump-thump-thump of the bass sounding like a monster’s heartbeat. Beneath it was the endless hum of traffic, the whoosh of a bus’s brakes. Dogs yapping. Horns honking. Adele’s Rolling in the Deep pulsing from her iPhone, the ringtone repeating the same thing over and over—that Adele and her lover could have had it all.

  Tessa knew when it came to her and Logan, that hope wasn’t even close.

  She didn’t bother to answer the call, letting it go to voicemail. Couldn’t be anyone she wanted to talk to. Probably a too-eager volunteer trying to raise funds for one of the political parties.

  As Tessa fished through her purse for her apartment key, she pulled her cart up to the three steps that led from the sidewalk to her building.

  Damn.

  She’d dropped her key back into all the other junk in her bag. Propping it on her hip, Tessa dug through her stuff again until she found the key once more. Looking up, she forgot to breathe.

  Shade darkened the second set of concrete steps that led to her building’s entrance. However, it wasn’t so dark that Tessa didn’t recognize Logan as the man who sat there.

  His head was down, his attention on his hands, fingers laced.

  Tessa’s heart pounded so hard it actually hurt the base of her throat. What was he doing here? Good god, he was really here, right? Her sorrow and today’s heat couldn’t have her imagining things, could—

  Her thoughts halted at Logan looking up, finally sensing her presence. He pushed to his feet and came down the steps, towering over her as he had at his estate. His scent exactly as she recalled. Masculine. Clean. Woodsy. He wore jeans, sandals, and a dark-blue tee. More heat radiated from him than it did from the sun. His Adam’s apple bobbled with his hard swallow.

  Tessa watched it, transfixed.

  He murmured, “Hi.”

  His voice was richer than Tessa recalled. His stubble delicious.

  She cleared her throat. “Hi.”

  He said nothing else. Tessa couldn’t. It was a second before she could stop her dizziness and noticed a young woman and children trying to pass.

  Tessa moved to the side. So did he. When the mother and her kids were well out of the way, Tessa turned back to Logan, not knowing how to react to him actually being here. Not by mistake either. Clearly, he’d been waiting for her.

  Why? A ton of feelings continued to race through Tessa. Joy. Desire. Doubt. Fear. Hurt. That most of all.

  He’d wanted her to leave his estate. He’d expected her to be nothing more than an escort. They were only supposed to have fun. After they did, he was fine with letting her go. Not calling. Not booking her again even though Ronnie had given him the chance. He’d preferred Georgiana.

  Tessa’s stomach clenched, stealing her breath.

  Why in the hell was he here?

  “Can we talk?” Logan asked. “Inside?” he added, his attention darting to the others near them. A meter reader. Kids ambling down the walk. Residents arriving and departing.

  Tessa stared, not certain she’d heard him correctly. “You want to talk?”

  He nodded. “Please.”

  She tried to figure out why, or what he could possibly want to talk about. He’d dodged most conversation during their seven days together.

  Her stomach knotted again. Had Wallace finally told Logan about the ride back from his estate? How she kept trying not to cry? Did Wallace give him hell for it?

  Ohmygod. Had Felicity torn into him? No, no, no. Was Logan here to apologize?

  Tessa was afraid to find out. She already felt shitty and didn’t need things to get even worse, like she was some sort of r
eject that he had to pump up so she wouldn’t fall apart.

  More residents wanted by. Tessa and Logan moved over again.

  Tell him to go away. Tell him what you want for a change.

  Someone to comfort her, not out of pity but because she mattered. Someone to need her more than anyone else in the world. Yeah, he’d had it tough, and Tessa understood. But she had feelings too.

  Tessa looked at him, unable to say anything, afraid to trust her voice. Not wanting a scene out here, what would probably be her coming tears, she finally nodded and led the way to her building.

  Her hand shook as she punched in the code to open the main door. She did her damnedest to calm down as they went to her apartment, neither of them speaking, just like the strangers Logan had wanted them to be.

  Always a gentleman, he’d already commandeered her cart, pulling it inside her place. The closet in his master bedroom owned more square footage than her humble home. He didn’t bother glancing at it or her equally modest furniture. He seemed to notice only her.

  Was he afraid she’d have a meltdown?

  Pulling herself together, Tessa reached for her cart. “I should take that.”

  Logan seemed surprised he was still holding onto it. He handed it over.

  Once more their silence grew. They were back to staring at each other, though not the way they had at the auction or his house. Those days were over. Exactly as he’d preferred.

  Nervous, Tessa smoothed down her tee, suddenly remembering the stains on it and her shorts, her lack of makeup and messy ponytail. They didn’t seem to bother him. Why should they? She looked as she had during her week’s stay at his place. Especially after they’d enjoyed each other in every way possible.

  Recalling those wondrous moments and how they’d parted, Tessa felt embarrassed, even more unsettled. She bit her lower lip, then decided to just get this over with and steeled herself for the coming pain. “What did you want to talk about?”

  “You.”

  Aw crap. He was going to apologize for—

  “And me,” he said, interrupting her thoughts.

  It took Tessa a moment to follow. “Us?” she blurted, then felt stupid for using the word. There was no “us”.