SINS OF THY MOTHER 2

by Niki Jilvontae

  “You evil bitch I hate you. DIE!!” I yelled as I raised the metal up high in the air again in attempt number two to slay the dragon.

  I could feel anger and power surge through my body as everything seemed to slow down and I watched my arm with the metal in it glide through the air in slow motion towards my mother’s neck. As soon as I began to feel the adrenaline you feel when you finally conquer a fear consume me, the pain of being hit in the back of the head and snatched by the collar of my shirt overpowered it. Before I knew what was even happening, I was being drug into the hallway like a rag doll as I watched my mother gasp for air and scrambled to get to her feet through blurred vision.

  I tried to see who was pulling me by my shirt and pieces of hair that were tangled, but my vision was so blurry from the blow to the back of the head all I could see was shadows. I flapped my arms and tried to stick my hands in my pants to reach the last weapon I had tucked inside of me, but someone was quickly and firmly grabbing my hands. Suddenly, the person spoke and I knew that whatever moment of solace my brother and I had was over.

  “You fucked up now princess. Look what you did to her face. Ain’t shit I can do to help you right now. Naw, now yo ass gotta suffer. I told yo stupid ass to play nice. Too late now. You won’t be so pretty when she’s done witcha. I’m still gonna fuck you though.” Duck said before kissing me deeply in the mouth and then snatching me up by the waist and throwing me over his shoulder.

  I must have passed out as Duck carried me back into the room that would be my prison for months because the next thing I knew I woke up strapped to the concrete-like bed with a gag in my mouth. I felt like I would throw up as the dirty, funky tub sock Denise had in my mouth, tied around my head dipped down my throat. I struggled with my tongue trying to push the sock out as I simultaneously worked on the pieces of cloth holding my arms and feet. I struggled with all of my might, using any bit of strength I had left after the fight but no matter what I did I couldn’t break free.

  I finally quit struggling after a few minutes and let my head fall down on the mattress as tears fell from my eyes while I cursed and cried out in anger. I felt so overwhelmed and defeated as the pain in my body throbbed uncontrollably. I felt hysterical as I suddenly thought about my baby and wondered was he dead.

  “Noooo, please let my baby be okay. Help MEEE somebody!” I screamed as I tried to break free again.

  I pulled and yanked, but it was no use because I couldn’t get free. I felt like I was about to hyperventilate as my heart raced and I couldn’t catch my breath, imagining myself laying there with a dead baby inside of me. I think I was on the brink of insanity worrying about my baby and feeling the anxiety of being strapped to the bed until my brother made me remember that I was not alone.

  “Tisha, shhh. It’s okay. I’m right here sister. It’s gonna be okay, Tisha.” Sha said to me through his tears as I sucked up those of my own to try and comfort him.

  I fought back my pain and cleared the lump in my throat as tears continued to fall from my eyes.

  “I’m okay, Sha, I’m okay. You just be quiet before she remembers you’re in there and comes for you. No matter what Sha remember I love you, and if you get out of here and I don’t please tell someone what happened. Tell them everything, Sha, and make her pay.” I said to my brother as I choked back my tears and someone began to unlock the padlocks on the door.

  I glanced around quickly to see if there was anything near I could reach, but I couldn’t even move my hands even if I did see something, which I didn’t. Instead I just closed my eyes and let my head fall back again as I waited on the horrific fate I knew would come.

  “Shhhh Sha. Don’t say anything, no matter what.” I whispered to my brother just as the door to my prison swung open and my mother sauntered her cracked out, sadistic voodoo doll looking ass in.

  I closed my eyes, peeking out of my peripheral vision as I held my breath while watching my mother walk in with a wicker basket in her hand. I tried to make my breathing slow and labored like I was sleep but I couldn’t stop my heart from racing in my chest or control my erratic breathing as that sadistic laugh of my mother’s filled the air. I opened my eyes suddenly when I felt the end of the purple robe my mother was wearing brush against my face as she laid out a white towel on the bed beside me and placed a few dozen knitting needles on it. I watched with wide eyes and horror written all over my face as my mother took a candle out of the basket next and lit it before turning to stare at me. I tried to hide the fear slowly creeping up inside of me but the thought of what my mother was about to do was overwhelming.

  Before I knew what had happened, I passed out, welcoming the comfort that the dark brought. Pain woke me up some time later though in the form of hot, thick needles being stuck into my thighs and the bottom of my feet. I screamed out in agony as I opened my eyes and looked directly into my mother’s face. Denise showed no mercy as she continued to laugh while torturing me, sticking hot pins deep into my bruised skin.

  The hot metal melted my flesh, sending electrifying pain all through my body. The pain of what was happening to me was so overpowering my mind couldn’t grasp it as I suddenly went numb. I blacked out several times throughout the ordeal as my mother cursed, taunted, and spit on me while unleashing her anger. A couple of times I woke up and Duck was in the room either pleading with her to stop or passing the crack pipe and a bottle of beer. I lost consciousness several times that day and sometime in the middle of the night, I woke up with darkness all around me as Sha whispered my name.

  “Tisha, wake up, you’ve been sleep a whole day. It’s April the 26th Tisha, wake up. I think I just heard someone outside, Tisha. It sounded like Terricka. Tisha, you have to wake up. Please Tisha, don’t be dead. WAKE UP!!” Sha yelled as I gained my composure enough to realize what he said.

  I suddenly got the strength I needed to hold on as I listened hard against the music my mother was playing and the noise in the building to hear my big sister Terricka, yelling my name outside the little boarded up window in the room. I felt relief and hope as I yelled out for Terricka to help us and she screamed back that help was on the way. After that I let my head fall back on the mattress once again as tears of joy fell down the sides of my face. I felt happy that my sister had finally come to save us; however, something inside of me said not to cheer just yet. Something told me that I shouldn’t consider myself saved too soon because we hadn’t won the battle just yet.

  Chapter 9

  I laid there on my concrete-like bed holding my breath and anticipating the war that was about to begin as the sound of scratching on the wall next to the vent filled the air. I stretched my neck, trying to see what the noise was as it grew louder, sounding as if the entire building was about to come down. Suddenly, a loud “BOOM” like an atomic bomb filled the air and I could hear yells and curses coming from all around me. My heart raced as I thought about how my sister and her G’s were invading the building and coming to rescue us from hell. The happiness I felt when I first heard my sister’s voice filled my mind with hope as I stared at the door waiting for her to bust through it and pull me out. However, the nagging feeling in my heart told me that something else was on the horizon. Something inside of me was telling me to prepare for a long fight, so mentally that’s what I did.

  I could hear Duck and Denise scurrying down the hallway, passed my prison to their room, trying to get away from the gangstas who were inside of the building and probably up the steps, but it was no use. The next thing I heard was the sound of someone kicking the front door in followed by my sister yelling out, “Tisha, HELP IS ON THE WAY!”

  “I’m in here T!” I yelled back in a hoarse voice as tears of joy rolled down my face.

  I couldn’t help but to release those pinned up emotions I had been carrying the past few weeks living in hell with Denise without my big sister to help me as I waited on Terricka to kick down the door. I noticed that the scratching noise in the wall had stopped just before I yelled back to tell Terricka w
here I was, but it was hard to decipher over all of the yells, screams, and footsteps in the hallway. Denise’s curses filled the air as I heard her run back passed the room with Duck following her. Seconds later Terricka had her ear on the door calling my name as she tried to push and kick it in.

  “Tish, you okay? What the fuck happened? How did you get here? Where is Sha, Tisha?” Terricka yelled over all of the mayhem in the hallway as my emotions got the best of me.

  I don’t know why I felt so overwhelmed at that moment, maybe it was because I was so relieved to hear my sister’s voice or I was just anxious to be free. Whatever the reason was I couldn’t control myself as I cried and screamed, trying to answer Terricka’s questions through the thick door and my muffled sobbing voice.

  “I DUNNO Whhha Happened TERRICKA. I don’t know where Sha at…. I can’t breathe T. Help me!” I said to my sister as I felt one of my panic attack, catatonic episodes coming on.

  My heart raced so fast in my chest it felt as if a sack of a million bees were living behind my breasts. I couldn’t stop my body from trembling as I held on to the pieces of cloth and wire holding me to the bed posts, trying to calm the panic growing inside of me.

  “I can’t breathe, Terricka. I don’t know what happened. She came and she took us. Sha ...he was in the closet next door but now I don’t know. Terricka help!” I yelled as my sister pounded on the door and yelled for someone to help her, but muffled yells and far-off cries of men all around the apartment quickly told us no help was around.

  I tried hard to swallow down the spit in my mouth and the lump in my throat as my heart continued to race, yet there was no use. My body shook uncontrollably, and the room began to spin like I was on the tea cup ride from hell. The shakes and waves of anxiety consuming my body at that moment were so intense, I couldn’t control any of my body’s functions. I felt like my body was falling apart as my sister tried tirelessly to get inside the room before running over to the closet, trying to get in there as well. I heard her yell for Sha followed by his faint moan then Terricka was back at my door.

  “Tisha, what the fuck is these doors made of? Steel? I can’t get in there without help. I’m fina go get somebody to help me and I’ll be right back!” Terricka yelled as she ran down the hall and I felt like I was drowning in an ocean of water.

  I felt frantic as my only lifeline began to slowly slip away. I didn’t want my sister to leave me, not even for a moment after she had left me alone for so long.

  “NO TERRICKA PLEASE DON’T GO! PLLEEASE!” I yelled as I struggled against my restraints, using the little supply of air I had left.

  I felt my lungs began to contract, but barely release as my mind reeled and I continued to struggle against the restraints that held my wrists. I only began to slowly relax when I heard Terricka’s footsteps as she returned to the door to comfort me.

  “Shhh Tisha, calm down. I’m right here. I’ll never leave you if I can help it. You have to calm down though. I heard you’re pregnant too, damn sis. Jerrod gonna be so happy when he finds out.” My sister said as my calmness began to disappear and panic crept back in.

  Hearing Jerrod’s name sent me into hysterics because for weeks I’d expected the worse only for my sister to casually mention him like he was around the corner. I hoped that meant he was okay and Terricka had seen him. I could barely get the words out as I cry hiccoughed and tried to catch my breath.

  “Where is he, Terricka? I need him, where is he? I can’t breathe.” I said to my sister as everything began to get dim.

  I felt like I was falling down a black hole as my body began to shake again and I tried to listen to Terricka’s voice as she yelled through the door. After a few minutes of uncontrollable shaking, I could finally make sense of her words again as she calmed the fear inside of me.

  “SHARTISHA, PLEASE LISTEN TO ME! You are okay little sister. Jerrod is okay too. I don’t know exactly where he at or when he coming back, but sis you have to trust me when I say he aite. You gotta calm down and focus on yourself and that baby. I’m gonna get you out of there, but you have to calm down first. Listen to me, Tisha. Listen to our Salvation song.” My sister said as the room came back into focus and I could concentrate on my breathing.

  Soon the melodic sound of my sister’s voice filled the air as the words to our Salvation Song soothed my soul. I couldn’t help but drop a few more tears as I sang along with my sister like I’d done many times before.

  “Nothing is forever, what we’re hoping for,

  No more pain so don’t you cry anymore.

  Hold your head up high and dry yo tears,

  Let me help you through and erase yo fears.

  We’ll overcome it all, if we stick together,

  We just gotta believe that nothing lasts forever (nothing lasts forever).”

  My sister and I both sang through the six inch thick steel door.

  I listened to my sister while slightly sobbing and breathing hard through the door for a few seconds as I gathered my emotions and put them in my back pocket. I tried to forget about all of the pain and heartache unless it was to channel the anger I needed to survive. I remembered everything my sister had told me through my haze as I sucked up my tears and called out for her.

  “Terricka. I’m alright now. Get me out of here though. This shit cutting off my circulation. Terricka, TERRICKA!” I yelled as I waited on my sister to respond.

  All that I could hear in the hallway outside my room at that moment was muted footsteps and the muffled sounds of a struggle. Suddenly the voice of the devil poured through the thick steel and sent chills straight to my spine.

  “You little funky bitch. I knew I’d get my hands on yo ass again. I’m gonna kill you hoe!” I heard Denise yell out as Terricka’s muffled cry followed.

  I could tell from the sounds that my mother and Terricka were tussling and that more than likely Denise was choking my sister, which is why I could barely hear her voice. Suddenly, there was a loud impact on the door as someone was slammed into it.

  “Yeah bitch, you was looking for me Denise, huh? Well, here I am you funky, maggot ass junky hoe. I hate you, sick bitch. You ain’t shit to me. Die hoe! I’ll stomp yo fucking head in!” My sister yelled as I heard Denise crying out in agony and something hard hit against the bottom of the door repeatedly.

  The next thing I heard was the faint sound of a small caliber gun being shot followed by my sister yelling and her fleeing footsteps. I cried to the top of my lungs as my heart went crazy in my chest and I imagined my sister being shot. I could do nothing but cry, shake, and scream Terricka’s name as I heard Duck ask my mother if she was okay on the other side of the door. I knew right then it was him that had come to my mother’s rescue and possibly killed my sister in the process. I made it up in my mind at that moment that I would make his bitch ass pay for that.

  “TERRICKA! SHATERRICKA, answer me please!” I cried, waiting for my sister to reply.

  I held my breath and bit my bottom lip, waiting to hear Terricka’s voice, a whimper, anything. However, I was met by the ugly, evil voice of the savage from my nightmares. My mother growled and huffed behind the door like a deranged beast as I stared at the steel door that separated us, hoping she wouldn’t come in.

  “Don’t call for her, she fucked up. While you worrying about her though, you better worry about yourself and that little mute. It’s gonna be three dead bitches before today over with. Mark my words, Tisha, I’ll be back.” My mother threatened before I heard her footsteps trail off down the hall.

  I laid there silent for a moment, just listening, because I had the feeling that someone was still around. When I finally heard Duck laugh from the other side, I knew my instinct was right, someone was lurking.

  “Y’all lil bitches something else, some real spitfires I tell you that. But yo sister fucked up. That lil bitch stabbed me so she gotta die. Fat’s lil bitch, trader ass too. Don’t you worry though princess, I’ll keep you safe, and your brother too. All you have to do is be
nice to me, remember? Anyway, let me get back to it. See you after this business is over.” Duck said laughing as he ran off down the hall.

  I exhaled deeply, releasing the pinned up tension I had inside as I yelled my sister’s name over and over again while screams, furniture breaking, and gunshots rang out in the house and apartments around us. I felt like my head was about to explode from screaming so loud and hard when I suddenly heard the scratching and scraping noise in the wall begin again. I quickly turned my head and squinted my eyes, trying to see who or what was coming through the vent.

  All of a sudden the vent cover and a piece of the wall on both sides of the vent came crashing down to the floor and a dusty, wild looking Sha fell through grinning. I couldn’t help but to smile too as my brother jumped to his feet and ran over to the bed to untie me. I sighed in relief as Sha released my outstretched arms and legs, giving me some much needed relief. I had to lay there for a few minutes in the fetal position until my limbs stopped throbbing. However, as soon as the pain subsided I was on my feet trying to find a way out.

  “Sha didn’t you hear Terricka talking to you earlier? She’s in here you know? We gotta get out of here. How did you get that vent open?” I asked Sha as I bent down and measured the vent space with my eyes.