Finding Home

by Carolyne Aarsen

  “Yeah, yeah, I know,” she said, waving off Naomi’s concerns.

  “So what was your last blood test?”

  Naomi had been trying to get Brittany involved in her own care and had shown her how to do the blood tests today.

  “It was good,” Brittany said, giving her the number.

  “And your blood pressure is good, so we’re set. Make sure you do another blood test before supper. We have to keep monitoring that to make sure you’re getting the right balance between your diet and insulin.” Naomi would have preferred to get the girl on an insulin pump, but Brittany had fought against that. So until then, Naomi needed to do constant calculations based on her blood sugar and her diet. She was also trying to get Brittany to take charge of her condition.

  Naomi looked around the room. She had tidied and cleaned and now there was nothing left to do. “I set up your online account to stream movies so you’re ready to go. Just in case, there’s a DVD player as well. So I’m leaving now.”

  Brittany slumped back in her bed, her expression morose. “My DVD player doesn’t work.”

  Naomi frowned. “Sure it does. You said you used it last night.”

  “I don’t know what’s happening. It wasn’t working this morning before you came. Can you get Jess to come here and have a look at it?”

  “Why don’t you stream some shows instead?”

  “The internet is really spotty. Jess told me that he didn’t want to upgrade. Don’t know why, he’s got tons of money.”

  “Okay. I’ll see what I can do.” After their last conversation she and Jess had managed to avoid each other for the most part. He spent every day at the new house, working inside. She saw him from time to time when he came to this house for something to eat, but their last conversation was a good reminder to her to keep her distance. Not that she had to worry about that. Jess seemed to be helping her keep her resolution by staying away himself.

  “I’ll go talk to Jess,” she said. “And I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  She gave Brittany a quick pat on the shoulder, grabbed her purse and then left the room.

  The sun was still warm this late in the afternoon and she lifted her face to it, reveling in the late-summer heat. She should take Brittany outside tomorrow. Let her enjoy the sunshine.

  There were no trucks parked by the house. The other workers must be gone for the day, she thought as she walked up the driveway toward it, yet she heard the sound of a hammer.

  Jess was still working.

  She took a breath to silence her quickening heartbeat as she stepped into the house. The smell of fresh-cut wood and sawdust assailed her senses as she walked into the foyer and turned a corner into the house itself.

  The walls weren’t painted yet and she saw footprints in the sawdust and plaster dust coating the floor. But light spilled into the room coming from the floor-to-ceiling windows dominating the wall to her right.

  She had to smile at the sight as she tried to imagine what this house would look like finished.

  The room with the windows jutted out from the rest of the house. Soaring two stories above her, she saw an open-beamed ceiling finished off with wood. At the far end of the room, a curved staircase flowed upward to a railed walkway. As she wandered farther, she saw a bay window that, she guessed, would be part of the dining room and beside that, pipes jutted out of a wall that were probably part of the kitchen.

  She made a slow circle wondering, again, why a man who didn’t seem ready to settle down was building such a large home.

  “Can I help you?”

  The voice made her jump. Naomi looked up to see Jess looking down at her, one hand on the railing, the other still holding his hammer.

  “Brittany was wondering if you could come and look at her DVD player. She said it doesn’t work.”

  Jess nodded and then glanced at the watch on his wrist. “Sure. May as well quit for the day.” He dropped his hammer into the tool belt circling his hips, then jogged down the stairs, raising little poofs of dust.

  “This is a beautiful house,” Naomi said.

  “Getting there,” Jess returned, pulling a hanky out of his back pocket and wiping the dust off his face.

  Naomi only nodded, wishing her pulse didn’t quicken around him. Even with Billy she’d never felt this sense that she couldn’t quite catch her breath.

  She headed blindly toward the door, then stumbled over the board she had stepped over when she came in. She would have fallen, but Jess caught her by the arm, steadying her and pulling her back upright.

  For a moment they stood close enough that she could see the tiny wrinkles fanning out from his eyes, the faint scar on his cheek that he got when he was learning to ride a bike. She swallowed down her unwelcome reaction to his nearness and with a murmur of thanks, she drew away.

  Why did this man still affect her so, she wondered as she turned away from him, this time walking with more care.

  She reminded herself that she was in charge of her emotions and of her heart. She wasn’t going to let herself be pulled into a relationship again.

  “I’ll see you at the house,” was all she said, then turned and walked away.

  Jess toed off his scuffed and scarred work boots, set them on the wooden floor of the porch, then dropped his tool belt beside them. He shoved his hand through his hair, releasing a shower of sawdust. He had managed to keep his distance from Naomi for the past couple of days. Seeing Naomi reminded him repeatedly that he was nothing like Billy, and he’d had enough of that soul-destroying comparison in his life. How often had his father told Jess he would never amount to much? That he was nothing like he was when his father was Jess’s age.

  Please, Lord, he prayed, I want to move on. Help me to do this. You promised me.

  He pulled in a breath and glanced out the window at Naomi who was heading down the rutted driveway toward her car. Probably making sure not to fall again. He smiled to himself.

  “Jess? Jess?” Brittany’s voice called out.

  “Coming.” He brushed off the remainder of the sawdust, then walked into the house.

  “Jess.” A note of panic in her voice made him hurry his steps. When he came into the room, Brittany was lying on her side. Sweat beaded her forehead and her face looked unnaturally pale.

  Jess panicked. What was going on?

  “I feel funny. Like I did...like I did before....” her voice faded away and she blinked a long, slow blink as a trickle of sweat dripped down her face.

  This did not look good, but he didn’t know what to do.

  Naomi. Was she gone yet?

  “I’ll be right back,” he said, then charged out of the room, down the hall and out the door. Naomi was standing by her car, her hand on the doorframe. It looked as if she was staring at the new house.

  “Naomi, thank goodness you haven’t left yet,” he called out. “Something’s wrong with Brittany.”

  Naomi slammed her door shut and quickly ran up the walk.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t know.” He headed back to the bedroom, Naomi, thankfully, was right behind him.

  Brittany lay on the bed, and as Jess came into the room, she gave him a wan smile which grew when she saw Naomi. “Hey.”

  “How are you feeling now?” Naomi asked as she hurried to Brittany’s side.

  “Terrible. I feel all yucky and wobbly. I’m shaky and I can’t keep my eyes focused.”

  “Insulin reaction,” Naomi said, turning to Jess. “I need pop. Or something sweet to drink. Or a chocolate bar.”

  Jess jumped off the bed and once again was tearing down the hallway. He yanked open the fridge and grabbed a couple of cans of pop and a carton of juice. Then ran back to Brittany’s bedroom, the concern on Naomi’s face hurrying his steps.

  Naomi was on the other side of the bed, opening her nurse’s bag. She looked up when he came into the room. “She needs to get that down, if possible,” she said.

  “How much is she supposed to drink?” Jess asked,
snapping open the tab of a pop can. He glanced at Brittany, alarmed at how white she had become. She was sweating as hard as if she’d been swinging a hammer all day.

  “All of it,” Naomi said, her tone curt, which made Jess realize how serious this was.

  As Naomi supported Brittany, Jess raised the pop to her lips. “C’mon, Brittany. Drink this down.”

  Brittany took a sip, then made a face. “It’s too sweet.”

  “It’s supposed to be. You need the sugar,” Naomi insisted in a firm voice as she lifted Brittany’s finger and poked something into the tip of it. “Take another sip.”

  “That hurts.” Brittany cried, pulling away, pop spilling down the front of her T-shirt.

  Jess glanced over at Naomi. “Did she have enough?”

  “Just keep making her drink,” Naomi said, her mouth set in grim lines as she squeezed a drop of blood onto a small strip then put it in a small machine. “I’ll tell you when to stop, but as long as she can keep drinking, keep going.”

  So Jess did as he was told, surprised to see such determination in a person he had always thought of as so sweet and gentle.

  Brittany tried to push his hand away, but Jess, feeling like a bully, made her swallow down some more.

  “C’mon, Brit. A couple more sips, honey. Please.”

  She looked at him and to his surprise, he saw the glimmer of tears in her eyes.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  “You called me honey,” she said, sounding surprised.

  “Yeah, well. I say that to all the girls,” he joked, feeling uncomfortable around the emotions of a girl he barely knew. “Drink some more and I might call you sweetie. Or sugar plum.” Thankfully his teasing worked and she took a few more mouthfuls.

  “This is the worst stuff,” she said, blinking. “Who in the world drinks root beer?”

  Naomi frowned as the little machine she held beeped and some numbers flashed on the small screen. “Just as I thought. It’s low. Hopefully we won’t need to give her glucagon.” She looked over at Brittany. “You have to drink it all.”

  Brittany rolled her eyes and with a heavy sigh, took the can of pop in her hand, tipped her head back and gulped it down.

  Then she grimaced and lay back on the pillows piled up behind her head. “There. Satisfied?” she said, handing Jess the can and shooting Naomi an angry glance. “I’ll probably gain like ten pounds from all that sugar and have some kind of hyperactive baby.”

  “You did good,” he said, “but I don’t think you have to worry about your weight or the baby.” He took the empty can, surprised to see his hand shaking. He clenched the can, drew in a steadying breath, then glanced over at Naomi who shot him a grateful smile.

  “Thanks for your help,” she said.

  He wanted to say more, but then Brittany groaned and Naomi’s attention was turned back to her.

  “My head,” Brittany muttered, her hands clutching her temples. “It’s so sore.”

  “You’ll have a cracking headache because of the reaction,” Naomi said. “I’ll get you some pain killers.”

  Jess stood back as Naomi went into a large, black bag she had taken with her. She pulled out a container of pills and gave Brittany some. Then handed her a bottle of water. Naomi brushed her hip against the end table as she bent over Brittany. The table wobbled and the lamp on it would have fallen off, but Naomi caught it. Then she bent over and picked up a plate holding a sandwich. “You didn’t eat your lunch,” she said quietly.

  Brittany looked away and shook her head.

  “And I suppose your blood tests weren’t what you said either.”

  “I hate blood tests, but now I have a headache.”

  “From not doing what I told you,” Naomi said. “I’ll pull the curtains.” Naomi walked over to the window to draw the curtains. Or tried to.

  “Here, I’ll take care of that,” he said, feeling a flush of embarrassment at the slapdash window coverings. This room wasn’t supposed to be inhabited by anyone. He’d kept his bike, snowboard and other sports equipment here for storage. It was never supposed to be a bedroom.

  “It’s okay. I’ve nailed up curtains before,” she said with a wry note in her voice.

  Jess brushed past her. He caught the one end of the bed sheet and dragged it across the window and hooked it on the other end of the curtain rod.

  The makeshift curtain dimmed the light a little and Brittany eased down into the bed, her eyes drifting closed.

  Naomi shifted the blankets over Brittany, then, gathering up her things, left the room, Jess following.

  “So what happened in there?” Jess asked when they got to the kitchen. “Why was she supposed to drink that pop? I thought diabetics weren’t supposed to have sugar?”

  “Brittany was having an insulin reaction,” Naomi said. “What that means is her blood sugar had fallen to a dangerously low level and to bring it up she needed to have a huge influx of sugar. She got the reaction because she didn’t eat her lunch and she didn’t do the blood test I told her to.” Naomi bit her lip and shook her head as if frustrated.

  “Is she going to be okay?”

  “She’ll sleep for a while now. Anytime a diabetic has an insulin reaction, they are usually tired and often have a bad headache. So I’ll leave her for a little while, then go and check her blood sugar again. The pop will have done the trick, but I’ll need to keep an eye on her.”

  Jess blew out a sigh as he shoved his hand through his hair, pushing it away from his face, his hand still trembling. He’d done many crazy things in his life and had a number of close calls, but it was always his own life on the line. Never anyone else’s.

  “That was scary,” he said. “Will that happen again?”

  “Not if she eats on time and does regular blood tests.”

  “So what about tonight? What if it happens again tonight?”

  Naomi sighed and bit her lip. “I don’t know.”

  “I can’t take care of her. I’m staying in the other house.” Jess blew out a sigh, his heart still pounding in reaction.

  “You have another bedroom in this house, don’t you?”

  Jess nodded. “Just across the hall from Brittany’s. There’s also another one upstairs, though it’s full of the stuff I pulled out of Brittany’s room.”

  “I could stay the night, if you want. Just to keep an eye on her.”

  Relief sluiced through Jess. “Yeah, that’d be great.”

  Not ideal, but it took some pressure off him.

  Naomi pressed her fingers to her forehead, as if thinking. “I have to go to town to get a few things, but I’ll be back in about an hour.”

  “Will she be okay?”

  “For an hour, yes. The pop she drank will tide her over. I’ll check her when I get back.”

  She looked up and gave him a wan smile. “I know this isn’t ideal, but it’s the best thing for Brittany if I stay overnight.”

  Her reluctance battered at his own defenses. He knew this was the last thing she wanted, but then, so did he.

  This was for Brittany. He could deal with this for Brittany’s sake. Once his mother got her act together, she would be back and she would take care of her responsibilities again.

  In the meantime, he had to keep his distance. He couldn’t afford to let Naomi too close, after all the years he’d spent building up the walls around his heart.

  Chapter 4

  Where was she?

  Naomi lay perfectly still, her eyes adjusting to the darkness of the room as she struggled to orient herself. Then Naomi caught a glint of light coming through a window in the wrong place in the wall and reality seeped into her sleep-fogged brain.

  This was Jess’s room and Brittany was right across—

  Brittany.

  Insulin reaction.

  Naomi bolted upright in the bed, grabbed her robe and tossed it on over her pajamas. She belted it as she hurried out of the room to Brittany’s across the hall.

  The young girl lay curle
d up on her side, blankets twisted around her, one hand resting palm up beside her head, her dark hair covering her face. Her lips held a faint smile, as if she was having good dreams.

  Naomi touched her forehead, but her skin was dry and cool.

  The tension in her shoulders eased as she looked down at the sleeping girl, then she walked to the window, easing it open. The sun was coming up over the mountains, spilling its rosy light over the valley and onto Brittany’s bed. The day promised to be a beautiful one.

  Naomi’s gaze wandered over the mountains unconsciously, seeking the figure of the Shadow Woman. It was too early in the day to see her, but she and her sisters would often try to puzzle out her location before the afternoon sun brought her features out.

  According to Bond family lore, the Shadow Woman was waiting for her lost love to return. When the light was right, the rocks and ledges created a picture of a face leaning forward, as if looking for him.

  Sometimes Naomi felt like that woman, living in the shadows of her exuberant younger sister, Hailey, and her capable older one, Shannon. Even her relationship with Billy was like a shadow of a real one. Engaged for so long, never married. Never sharing more than a chaste kiss.

  “How is she doing?”

  The deep voice behind her made Naomi jump. She spun around, pushing her hair back from her face to see Jess, already clothed, standing in the doorway. He had shaved and his hair still held the damp sheen of his shower.

  Naomi tried not to feel self-conscious about her lack of makeup, her disheveled hair, the ratty robe that had seen better days. She wrapped it tighter around herself, like a shield.

  “She did okay,” Naomi said, focusing on Brittany. “I checked her at about two again and her blood sugar was low, so I got her up to drink some more. I need to talk to Ben, Dr. Brouwer, about adjusting her insulin. I would prefer to get her on a pump. It would regulate her more.” She forced herself to stop. She was talking too fast and too long. Nerves.