Finding Home

by Carolyne Aarsen

  “What’s what?”

  “That necklace. Around your neck. How did I not see it before?” Brittany asked, taking the sandwich from Naomi.

  Naomi glanced down, lifting the gold nugget attached to a chain. “This? I got this from my grandmother. My nana Bond.”

  “It looks like gold.”

  “It’s one of five gold nuggets that have been passed down through the family. Once this one was part of a bracelet my nana used to wear.” Naomi tucked her chin as she lifted the gold nugget to look at it even though she knew its contours by heart. As a young girl she would sit on her grandmother’s lap and toy with her bracelet.

  “There’s a story attached to those nuggets, isn’t there?” Jess said.

  He remembered? Naomi was fairly sure she had told him only once when he had seen Nana’s bracelet and was curious about it.

  “Tell me the story,” Brittany demanded.

  “Please,” Jess added, giving Brittany a gentle tap on her shoulder. He added a smile to show he was teasing. Brittany pulled a comical face, then turned back to Naomi.

  “My brother is trying to teach me manners. So please, tell me the story.”

  Naomi chuckled at her tone and playful grin. “Sure. The story starts with my many times great-grandfather, August Bond, who came to this region in the late 1800s looking for gold. He had big plans and was going to get rich. Then he ended up meeting a lovely young native Sarcee maiden, Nukinu, who stole his heart. He fell in love and changed his plans. That was until she showed him the five gold nuggets her father had given her. He had warned her not to show any white person the gold or tell them where it came from because it would make them crazy. Make him leave to find the source. She didn’t believe her father and trusted August. So she showed him the nuggets.” Naomi paused, looking down at the necklace again.

  “And what happened?”

  “Well, August did go a bit crazy. Crazy with gold fever. But Nukinu wouldn’t tell him where the gold came from. So he left to go find out for himself.”

  “Did he find gold? Did he get rich?”

  Brittany’s eager questions made Naomi laugh. “No, he didn’t. Though not for lack of trying, apparently. He crossed the mountains, all the way digging and panning and trekking up rivers and streams. Then, according to the story, he was panning for gold, and he was cold and lonely and miserable and he thought of Nukinu.”

  “He missed her, didn’t he?” Brittany interjected.

  “Let Naomi finish the story,” Jess said.

  “Actually, yes, he did miss her. A lot. So he left his gold pans behind and went back to Nukinu and begged her to take him back. Thankfully, she did.”

  “I would have made him wait. Sweat it out,” Brittany said, a curious edge to her voice. Naomi wondered if she was talking about the father of her baby.

  “Well, luckily for me and my family, Nukinu was a forgiving sort of person and she took him back,” Naomi continued. “August settled in the valley and started ranching.”

  “So the nuggets got passed down through the family?”

  “They did. They were made into a bracelet that my nana Bond ended up wearing. Then, when my nana had a heart attack, she wanted all the kids to come home. She got the bracelet made into five necklaces. One for each of my sisters and for my cousins, Tanner and Garret. She gave them to us when we came back to Rockyview. She gave us a Bible, as well.”

  “Why a Bible?” Brittany asked.

  Naomi fingered the necklace again, thinking of that moment she had with her grandmother when she gave Naomi the gifts. “She gave us the necklace to remind us of where we came from and gave us the Bible so we know where we’re supposed to go.”

  “Are they all back now? Your cousins and sisters?”

  “Shannon never left and, for the rest, yes, we’re all back. I was the last one.” Naomi thought back to that lonely time when she heard everyone was coming home but she didn’t dare leave Billy, thinking he was dying soon. He’d hung on for another ten months.

  “That’s a cool story. And it’s cool that you got a Bible, too. You have a Bible, too, don’t you, Jess?”

  Naomi couldn’t help sending Jess a surprised look. He just shrugged but didn’t answer the question.

  Brittany giggled, then leaned closer to Naomi. “And he has a picture of a girl inside of it. I saw it. She has hair the same color as yours—a kind of reddish-blond.”

  “I don’t think Naomi needs to hear—”

  “I only saw it the one time. The girl is really pretty.” Brittany reached over and punched Jess on the shoulder. “He won’t tell me who it is, but he did tell me the girl was special.”

  Each word Brittany spoke created questions that amplified the emotions of the moment. Then Jess looked up and their gazes meshed. Held. She couldn’t look away as a swarm of questions buzzed around her head.

  “Can I see the picture again?” Brittany asked in a coy voice. “Maybe Naomi knows who it is.”

  “Did you have enough to eat?” Jess asked, giving Brittany a pointed look. “’Cause I’m thinking I should get back to work.”

  “Don’t go,” Brittany pleaded, clutching his arm as he moved to stand up. “I won’t tease you anymore.” She glanced at Naomi, her expression apologetic. “I’m sorry. I know the girl in the picture is you.”

  Naomi felt her heart grow still. He still had her picture. In his Bible.

  The two thoughts braided together creating an unexpected glow deep in her soul.

  “I’m sorry,” Brittany said, turning back to Jess. “Don’t get mad at me. I still want to see the inside of the house.”

  “I’m sure Naomi has things she needs to do,” Jess said, giving her an out.

  But Naomi was curious herself to see what Jess had been so busy with the past few days.

  “I wouldn’t mind seeing the inside,” Naomi said. “We have time.”

  “Okay, I can give you a mini-tour.”

  Naomi held his gaze and then Jess gave her the sudden gift of a smile, which slid past the defenses she’d spent the past few days building up against him.

  “So I should carry her inside, then?” Jess asked, tipping a questioning eyebrow toward Brittany, seeking verification.

  “Unfortunately, yes,” Naomi said in return. “She shouldn’t walk at all.”

  “We have to get you a wheelchair,” Jess grunted, bending over to pick up Brittany.

  “I ordered one through the hospital,” Naomi said. “They said it wouldn’t come for a couple of weeks yet.”

  “She might have her baby by then,” Jess said, as he shouldered the door open and stepped inside. Naomi followed, dragging one of the chairs along for Brittany to sit on. The first thing Naomi noticed was the pervasive scent of paint. The second, how the butter-yellow walls captured the sun and seemed to amplify it.

  “I sure hope it comes by then,” Brittany grumbled. “I’m getting tired of all this. Blood tests and eating on time and needles and all that stuff.”

  “It’s for a good cause,” Jess said, setting her in the chair. He straightened, then brushed a strand of hair away from her face and touched the tip of her nose with his forefinger. The motion created a curl of wistfulness deep in Naomi. He used to do that to her all the time, as well.

  “You want a healthy baby, don’t you?” Jess was asking Brittany.

  “A baby.” A glimmer of sorrow flitted over Brittany’s face, as if the reality of the result of her pregnancy was only now making itself known. “Can’t believe I’m having a baby. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with a baby.” She pressed her lips together and Jess caught her by the shoulder and squeezed.

  “You’ll be fine,” Jess said. “Just take it one step at a time.”

  “I wish Sheila was here,” Brittany sighed.

  A shadow of anger flitted over Jess’s features but was replaced by a forced smile. “She said she might come next week. Closer to when the baby will be coming. You’re in good hands now, so it’ll be okay.”

 
He sounded so calming, so soothing, his voice holding a note of authority that made even Naomi feel assured.

  “So what do you think?” Jess asked, looking at Naomi.

  Connor had glanced up when they came into the house, but was now crouched down beside what Naomi suspected was the island. The wood he had used was a deep, rich brown that contrasted with a lighter shade for the cabinet doors, giving it a unique, yet warm, effect.

  But what drew her eye was at the end of the kitchen where, she suspected, the stove would be.

  “It’s beautiful,” Brittany exclaimed as she looked around. “Love the kitchen cabinets. Love the color. And I like what you did with the stair railing.”

  Naomi turned her attention to where Brittany was pointing, taking in the unique uprights on the stairs. They looked as if he had cut them from individual trees, then smoothed and varnished them.

  “I did that myself,” Jess said. “Took me longer than I thought it would, but I think it’s worth it.”

  “Totally worth it,” Brittany exclaimed, craning her neck to get a better look. Then a flash of light caught her attention. “Where did you get that bird thingy?” she asked, pointing to the sun catcher hanging in the living-room window.

  “Found it in Jess’s room,” Connor put in, now leaning on the island he had just installed.

  A flush warmed Naomi’s cheeks as she glanced toward Connor. His deep brown eyes held hers a moment, a glint of humor in their depths, then he lifted his eyebrows. He knew she was the one who made it.

  “Don’t you have cabinets to shim or doors to adjust?” Jess asked, glowering at him.

  “Taking a break.” Connor seemed unfazed by Jess’s exasperation. “Seeking inspiration from the presence of two beautiful ladies.”

  Jess simply rolled his eyes.

  Brittany was still looking at the sun catcher, then she caught Jess’s hand. “Hey, that sun catcher reminds me. Remember how you said you wanted to get stained-glass windows made for your office? You should totally do that with those four rectangle windows above these big ones.”

  Brittany pointed to a row of windows spanning the width of the large windows at the end of the living room. “Think how cool that would be.”

  “It would, but it’s hard to find people to do that work,” Jess said quietly. “It takes a special skill and you need to work with someone who would be willing to do the kind of picture or work you’d like.”

  Naomi felt her heart quicken as she looked at the windows, wondering what a person would do with them. The four seasons, she thought. Water running past rocks and trees, using the striations of color in the glass to create the effect of flowing water. Various browns with just the right patterns for the rocks. A verdigris stain on the lead to give the idea of moss. A scene that would tie in with the rugged surroundings of this amazing house.

  “Hey, Naomi, why are you smiling?” Brittany asked.

  Naomi jerked her attention back, again feeling self-conscious as she met Jess’s eyes. His expression was serious, as if he knew exactly what she was thinking.

  “No reason,” she said with a light laugh to cover her confusion. She made a show of looking at her watch. “We should probably let Jess get back to his work,” she said to Brittany. “And we need to do another blood test and get you your insulin.”

  Brittany heaved out a sigh. “Okay, but can we come here again tomorrow?”

  “Only if Jess—”

  “As long as it’s okay—”

  Once again, Jess and Naomi spoke at the same time. A slow smile crawled across Jess’s lips as he held up his fist and mouthed, one, two, three.

  Naomi wanted to ignore him, but when he hit three, she mimed scissors just as he kept his hand in a fist.

  “Guess I win,” Jess murmured, tapping his fist against her hand.

  “What’s that about?” Brittany asked. “Why do you win?”

  “I’ll explain it another time,” Jess said. “But Naomi’s right. I better get back to work if I want to get this house done before winter.”

  He bent over, fitted his hands under Brittany’s legs and lifted her up, then easily walked out the door, Naomi behind him.

  Before she left the house, though, she glanced up at the bank of windows in the living room, trying to imagine how the light would look, diffused by the colored glass. Then, as she turned to leave, she caught Connor’s knowing gaze.

  “Would look really good,” he said, as if he knew exactly what she was thinking. “I know Jess would love it.”

  She wanted to ignore his suggestion. What did it matter to her what Jess liked or didn’t?

  I want a place of light and peace.

  Jess’s words rang through her mind and for some reason she hadn’t been able to forget the pain she saw in his eyes when he said it.

  “I’m sure it would,” was all Naomi said.

  Then, with one last look around the house that was full of the light Jess wanted, she turned and left.

  “You bringing your sister here again?” Connor asked as he screwed another hinge on the door.

  Jess put down his carpenter’s pouch and nodded. “Naomi said Brittany was in a much better mood after yesterday afternoon. So, yeah, I think so.”

  “I’m glad Naomi’s back,” Connor said. “She’s good people.”

  Jess wasn’t fooled by the pseudo-casual tone in Connor’s voice. While he and Connor had always known each other, it wasn’t until the past few years that they’d gotten close. But Rockyview wasn’t big. Connor also knew Naomi and Jess had dated.

  “That she is,” Jess said. And too good for him.

  “Why don’t you ask her to make some windows for you?” Connor held up the door and fitted it to the frame. “Would make that living room look awesome. Wouldn’t be surprised if she already has an idea of what to do.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Because I saw her looking at the windows with a funny smile, like she was imagining what they would look like all done up.”

  Jess waved off his comment and stifled the faint lift of hope Connor’s words gave him. “Catch the rest of your act later,” was all he said as he left the house.

  He didn’t need Connor giving him ideas he couldn’t afford to indulge in. Naomi was only here to take care of Brittany. Once that job was done, she would be out of their lives.

  Naomi stood by the counter putting sandwiches in a container when he came into the house. She wore her hair loose today, which was a pleasant surprise.

  “Where’s Brittany?” he asked.

  “She’s talking on the phone,” Naomi said, biting her lip.

  “You don’t seem happy about that.”

  Naomi looked over her shoulder, as if making sure Brittany couldn’t hear. “She’s talking to Scott.”

  Jess frowned, not comprehending what Naomi was saying.

  “The father of the baby,” she added.

  Jess felt ice slip through his veins and he clenched his hands at his side. “Really? Now he calls?”

  “At least he called,” Naomi said.

  “I think I’d like to talk to that punk.” Jess made a move toward the bedroom, but Naomi put her hand on his arm to stop him.

  “Don’t do that, please?” Naomi pleaded, her hazel eyes holding his.

  Jess felt the anger slip away both at the sound of her voice and at her touch. He looked down at her slender fingers resting on his skin, warm and delicate, and he felt a quieting in his chest.

  At the same time he had to fight the urge to cover her hand with his own.

  She withdrew her hand slowly. Reluctantly?

  Stop dreaming, Schroder. You’re not the man for her.

  So why is she looking at me like that?

  He felt as if he was trying to keep a kite aloft in an ever-decreasing wind. It was becoming harder and harder to remind himself that she didn’t belong with him. Every moment he spent with her made his heart believe that maybe it could happen, even when his mind told him otherwise.

 
“So...did he call her or did she call him?”

  “He called her. I left the room when I knew.”

  Jess tore his attention away from Naomi and back to Brittany. “Has my mom called at all?”

  Naomi shook her head. “No, she hasn’t.”

  Jess blew out a ragged sigh, then turned back to Naomi. “I shouldn’t be surprised. Mom never seemed to get the idea of how motherhood worked.”

  Naomi tilted her head to one side, a tiny dent of uncertainty marring her face. “Was it that bad?”

  “Define bad.”

  “My own mother wasn’t the best mother,” Naomi said quietly, leaning back against the counter. “She still isn’t. I got a card from her when Billy died, but she hasn’t called me since. But I recognize she’s had a hard life and I’m willing to forgive her for that. My father left her with three children to take care of. She did the best she could with what she was given. I wouldn’t say she was a great mother. I hope to make better choices than she did when the time comes, but at the same time, I hope I don’t have to deal with what she did.”

  Jess looked at her, surprised at her capacity to forgive. So why couldn’t she seem to forgive him?

  Did it matter? They were both in different places in their lives. Her forgiveness, or lack thereof, had no bearing on where he or she was right now.

  “My mother has made her own choices, as well. Most of them pretty lousy.” He caught himself. He was starting to sound like he felt sorry for himself. “How long has she been talking to that Scott kid?” he asked, changing the subject.

  “About half an hour now.”

  “She’ll probably be done soon. I can wait,” Jess said, hiding behind his stepsister’s wishes as an excuse to stay.

  “Okay.”

  It was thickly quiet for a moment in that awkward way that made him want to blurt out something, anything to fill the silence.

  “So how hard is it to make a stained-glass window?” he asked, shooting out the first thing that came to his mind. “I mean, if I wanted someone to do some like Brittany was talking about.”

  “It would depend on how complicated you wanted it to be.”

  Jess nodded, shifting his weight. “So what would you do? If you had to make those windows?”