Finding Home

by Carolyne Aarsen

  She reached up and took his hand, folding hers around it, reinforcing the connection. “I was afraid,” she said quietly. “When you said you couldn’t be a father, I got scared that you would reject me if I told you about the baby. I was scared and I was alone. I’d always been the good girl. The one who never did anything wrong and then this. Then Billy...he asked me to come back to him. I told him about the baby and he said he would take me back.”

  Jess let his fingers caress her cheek, feeling her pain and loneliness. “I’m sorry, too.”

  Then he bent over and brushed a kiss over her mouth. “But I’m not sorry I heard what I did a few minutes ago.”

  She held his gaze, her own earnest. “I meant every word. You’re a good man. I’ve always thought that and I’ve always loved you.” She held his gaze, a melancholy smile slipping over her features. “You were my everything. Even when I was with Billy.”

  She was quiet and Jess knew enough to allow her this moment.

  “Then I came back here and it was as if all those turbulent emotions and all our history threatened to take over. And it scared me. I needed to know who I was. I needed to find out who I am.” She looked over at him. “I feel like so much of my life has been spent living in the shadow of my sisters and then in the shadow of you. Even what I had with Billy was like the shadow of a relationship—an eternal engagement and no wedding in sight. Then he died. And I came back to Rockyview and there you were. Even more appealing and handsome than when I dated you. And I got scared again. I wanted to stay away from you. I wanted space from you and from the guilt I felt whenever I saw you. I was afraid that if I let myself, I would get pulled back into that swirl of emotions that was our relationship and I would lose myself in the shadows of the past again.”

  “Is that how you see it? Losing yourself?”

  “I feel as if most of my life I haven’t known who I am.”

  “I always knew who you were. I always knew about you.”

  “No, you didn’t!” She released a light laugh. “You were the most popular guy in school. The guy every girl wanted to date. I was just Naomi.”

  “You were never just Naomi to me.”

  “Really?” Her incredulity surprised him. He had always thought of her as more confident. “I was nobody. A girl people didn’t remember.”

  He moved closer, determined to make her realize just how much a part of his life she had been.

  “In grade eight you got a pair of red boots,” he said, holding her gaze, determined to let her know. “You wore them every day for a month. In grade nine, you got a black eye from running into the volleyball net during a practice I was watching. You used to come to the ski hill with Hailey and you always wore a purple coat and red ski pants I figured you had bought at the New to You store in town. You cut your hair short in grade ten and I hated it, and when you grew it out, I was glad. In grade eleven you used to sit in the cafeteria with a book and a set of headphones and I remember thinking that maybe you did that because you broke up with Billy and I had a moment of hope, but I found out he was doing track that year and was busy. I didn’t know what was going on in grade twelve because by that time I was supposed to be done. Then you broke up with Billy and you came and tutored me. And then my life took the best turn it ever did. And here I am, as crazy about you now as I was then. Probably more.”

  Naomi’s eyes widened as he listed his litany of how important she had been in his life. And right now he didn’t care. Because right now he needed her to know she had always been a part of his past and, Lord willing, would be a part of his future.

  She blinked, as if trying to understand. “I can’t... I don’t...”

  He resisted the urge to kiss her and instead said, “When you left, it was like there was a hole in my life that only you could fill. You never stood in the shadows with me. You were always a bright light in my life. Someone whose life I wanted to be a part of. Someone who I need in my life.”

  There it was. The declaration that he’d tried to hold back but finally couldn’t.

  “I love you, Naomi Deacon. I know we’ve had some missteps, but I also know that God’s love covers a lot. That He removes our sins from us.”

  “As far as the east is from the west,” Naomi said with a note of wonder in her voice.

  “And probably farther.” He eased out a sigh. “I know I have a lot of stuff going on in my life and I’m still struggling to forgive my father, but you were right about that. I have to if I’m going to be free from him. But I also know with you at my side, it will be a lot easier. You’re a bright light in my life and with you, I feel complete. Whole. I don’t want us to be apart anymore. I want us to be together. I want you to be my wife. To move into that house with me. To have children with me.” His voice broke a little on that last sentence, but he didn’t care.

  Naomi reached up and cradled his face, a glimmer of tears in her eyes. “I want that, too. More than anything.” Then she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. “I love you, Jess. I don’t think I ever stopped loving you.”

  He drew her close to him, kissed her again and again, then tucked her head in the hollow between his shoulder and his neck. “Don’t ever stop. I don’t want us ever to be apart again.”

  “Neither do I.”

  He kissed her again, then drew back. “I suppose we should go back.”

  Naomi nodded. “Though I suspect Hailey, Brittany, and your mother have a good idea what’s going on.”

  “So we may as well let them know.” He got up, caught her by the hand and drew her to her feet. He felt a curious reluctance, but at the same time a desire to shout out to anyone who wanted to know.

  Naomi and him.

  Together again. Just the way it should be.

  If you want to spend even more time in Rockyview, I’ve got another series coming up - Family Promises.

  The first book in that series is Ever Caring.

  Here’s a sample to whet your appetite:

  EVER CARING

  Just go in. It’s just an office. A building.

  Renee stood just outside the door of Arlan Truscott, Barrister and Solicitor, surprised that the pounding of her heart wasn’t echoing in the entrance.

  The last time she’d been here, she’d sat in Arlan’s office and signed papers that haunted her still.

  That was ten long years ago.

  With a decisive nod and a quick sucking in of her breath, she pushed the door open and entered the office.

  The woman sitting behind the wooden desk dominating the reception area looked up, a headset nested in her teased blond hair, and smiled. “Hey, Renee, you’re early.”

  “I hope that’s okay?” Renee asked, her eyes flicking over the interior of the office, noting the changes.

  Now the walls were painted a soft, colonial blue instead of the puce-green imprinted on her memory. A colour that could still make her nauseous. She clutched the handle of her shoulder bag and suppressed the dark thoughts, turning back to Debbie. “Is Mr. Truscott ready to see me?”

  “There’s been a change in plans. Mr. Truscott was called away, but his son, Zach, will take over your file.”

  That was puzzling, but she was secretly relieved. Though Rockyview wasn’t large, she still ran into Mr. Truscott from time to time. Though it got easier, once in awhile the memories would assault her but over time she had learned to smooth off the rough edges. However, sheer necessity had forced her to set up an appointment with him today.

  “Have you met Zach?” Debbie asked.

  “No. Not yet,” Renee said. “Though I have heard about him.”

  Then the door of the other office opened, and Renee got to her feet to meet Zach Truscott herself.

  He looked to be in his mid-thirties, tall, slender, thick blond hair waving away from a strong-featured face. His blue eyes flicked from the file he held to her, and when he smiled, she couldn’t stop an answering lift of her heart.

  Classically handsome, she thought, yet with eyes that seemed t
o hold a shadow of sadness. Through her friend Evangeline, Renee had heard that Zach Truscott was a widower, that he had a young daughter and that he’d moved to Rockyview from Toronto two weeks ago to help his father with his growing legal business. Evangeline knew all this because Zach boarded his horses at her father’s ranch.

  “Good morning, Ms. Albertson,” Zach said, holding his hand out to take hers. “I’m Zach Truscott. I’m sorry my father couldn’t see you this morning. He had some unexpected business to take care of.”

  Renee took his hand, his firm grip creating the faintest tingle in her palm.

  She shook her feelings aside, attributing them as a normal reaction to an attractive male. She was still single, after all, as her mother frequently pointed out to her.

  As if she had any time for men. She had a disabled mother to take care of and a business to sell. And it was the latter that brought her here today.

  “My father gave me your file this morning,” Zach said, standing aside to let her precede him into his office. He walked around the desk and dropped into the chair across from her. “He said you’re in the process of selling your business?”

  Renee nodded, settling into the straight-backed wooden chair across from him. As she did, she darted a quick glance around the room, stifling the chills that chased each other down her spine as memories intruded. This was a different time. Different lawyer. Different office.

  The walls in here were painted a cheerful yellow. A large bookcase covered one wall with the usual assortment of legal books. To one side, however, she saw a small red table and chair covered with papers and crayons and paints. A pink electronic device sat on one corner of the table emitting glowing green light. On the wall above that table was an assortment of framed pictures. One of them was of a stunningly beautiful woman. She held the hand of a little girl with tousled blond hair and a gap-toothed smile. They were backlit by a large window that overlooked the city of Toronto.

  Taken from the CN Tower, Renee assumed, her heart turning over at the sight of the little girl.

  “That’s my daughter,” Zach said, catching the direction of Renee’s curious gaze. “Addison. She’s eight.”

  “She’s adorable,” Renee said past the sudden thickness in her throat. Why did this happen to her every time she saw a girl of that age?

  Please, Lord, help me concentrate. Help me let go. That was in the past. I’ve moved on.

  Her prayer eased her heartbeat back to normal, then she looked back at Zach. “How does she like living in Rockyview?” she asked, determined to have an ordinary conversation. “I imagine it’s quite a change from Toronto.”

  “She loves it. Especially because we have a place to keep our horses that’s closer than where we boarded them in Ontario.”

  “So you and your daughter ride?”

  “Not as often as we’d like, but I’m hoping that will change once we’re settled in. Addison and I are still trying to find a rhythm here, and I’m trying not to worry about her all the time. Hard to break old habits,” he said.

  She caught an edge of tension in his voice and wondered once again about his situation. Rumor had it that his wife had died almost a year ago. That was why he’d moved back to Rockyview.

  “But enough about that.” Zach flipped open the manila folder and pulled out a piece of paper, obviously getting back to business.

  She couldn’t help a niggling regret. Zach seemed easy to talk to, and she had enjoyed the ordinary conversation they had shared, even for a moment. It had been a while since she’d had a normal interaction with a man. Any guy she had dated since her mother’s accident had had to deal with the reality that Renee’s mother and her disabilities was a priority for her. None of them could.

  “So you want to sell your business?” Zach was saying, his voice anchoring her back to the present.

  Renee nodded. “Yes, the buyer, Cathy, is eager to get the final paperwork done and so am I. I’m assuming that’s why your father called me here?”

  Zach sat back in his chair. He wore a white button-down shirt with a tie, but the tie was loosened, and the cuffs of the sleeves were rolled up. He looked casually disheveled yet had an air of command, which felt oddly reassuring.

  “Unfortunately, we can’t sign off on the sale just yet.”

  Renee felt cold bloom in her chest. “Why not?” Things had to get moving. Her mother’s appointments to see the therapist were scheduled. They needed the money from this sale before the treatment began, and she didn’t want Ned and Cathy, the buyers, to change their minds. Her kind of business was niche and required someone with a measure of expertise.

  “There’s been a builder’s lien filed against the property about three days ago.”

  “What? By whom? The renovations on the store were finished two months ago.” Fixing up the back rooms of the store had cost her more than she had budgeted for, but it had been a condition of the sale, which had been delayed a couple of times already. “I paid Benny Alpern in full for his work.”

  “Benny was the general contractor?” Zach asked, glancing down at the file again.

  “That’s correct,” Renee said, trying not to let panic overwhelm her as she leaned forward. She’d had a hard enough time just coming to this office—now things wouldn’t be finalized today? And, worse, the sale would be put off? What would happen to her mother? The clock was ticking, and she was running out of time.

  Want to read more?

  Order Ever Caring by clicking on the book cover below:

  As well, if you enjoyed reading Finding Home, it would be awesome, amazing, tremendous, stupendous and heart-warming if you could leave a review. Reviews help other readers discover my books and help other readers share in the adventures awaiting them in Rockyview. And it’s a place worth visiting!

  LEAVE A REVIEW HERE

  Thanks bunches and take care.

  Carolyne

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  Other Series

  FAMILY BONDS

  #1 SEEKING HOME

  A rancher who suffered a tragic loss. A single mother on the edge. Can these two find the courage to face a romantic new beginning?

  #2 CHOOSING HOME

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  #3 COMING HOME

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  A COWBOY’S REUNION

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  She's desperate. He's loyal. Will a dark lie hold them back from finding love on the ranch? If you like determined heroines, charming cowboys, and family dramas, then you’ll love this heartfelt novel.

  “What a wonderful series! The first book is Cowboy's Reunion. Tricia's story begins in that book. Emotional stories with wonderful characters. Looking forward to the rest of the books in this series.” Jutzie - Amazon reviewer

  TAMING THE COWBOY

  A saddle bronc trying to
prove himself worthy to a father who never loved him. A wedding planner whose ex-fiancee was too busy chasing his own dreams to think of hers. Two people, completely wrong for each other who yet need each other in ways they never realized. Can they let go of their own plans to find a way to heal together?

  “This is the third book in the series and I have loved them all. . . . can't wait to see what happens with the last sibling.” - Amazon reviewer

  THE COWBOY’S RETURN

  The final book in the Family Ties Series:

  He enlisted in the military, leaving his one true love behind.

  She gave herself to a lesser man and paid a terrible price.

  In their hometown of Rockyview, they can choose to come together or say a final goodbye...

  'This author did an amazing job of turning heartache into happiness with realism and inspirational feeling.” Marlene - Amazon Reviewer

  SWEETHEARTS OF SWEET CREEK

  Come back to faith and love

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  #2 - HER HEARTS PROMISE

  When the man she once loved reveals a hidden truth about the past, Nadine has to choose between justice and love.

  #3 - CLOSE TO HIS HEART

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  #4 - DIVIDED HEARTS

  To embrace a second chance at love, they'll need to discover the truths of the past and the possibilities of the future…