Heartbreaker (Unbreakable #1)

by Kat Bastion

  “I’m here. Anything you want to talk about, I’ll listen. No judgment. Possibly advice: if I can and you want it. And all it will cost you is…”

  When I didn’t finish, she turned her head arching a brow.

  I rocked my beer back and forth in my hand with a grin.

  She cracked a weak smile. “Deal.”

  Silence continued for the rest of my full beer. The moment I put my empty down, she grabbed a refresher, popped the cap, then handed it to me.

  Not wanting to offend her, I took the cold bottle. “I have to drive, you know.”

  “So don’t slam it.”

  Riiight. Because I can down half a six pack and still blow under legal limit. Instead of drinking more, I propped the new bottle on my thigh, doing the responsible thing. She’d been nursing her same quarter-full beer since I’d sat down anyway.

  Then, as if she’d sensed my analysis of her alcohol consumption, she chugged the rest of hers down and popped open another.

  After she took a few gulps, she glanced at me. “It’s kids at school. They don’t…get me.”

  I remembered high school: the struggle of fitting in, pretending not to care what everyone thought of you, swallowing down the hurt when you were the butt of their joke.

  “No one got me either.” My voice quieted.

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. Think art student. Then stretch your mind to imagine a girl trying express her art through fashion.”

  She scrunched her face, as if trying to imagine it. Then her eyes slowly widened.

  “Yeah.” Novelty didn’t go over well in my private school.

  I didn’t want to talk about my teenaged nightmare, though. We were up on this roof for her. Staring at the faraway skyline of Downtown Philly, I watched the lights begin to glitter as night darkened.

  She exhaled heavily.

  I waited, taking the first sip of my second beer.

  “It was my mom’s suicide.” Her voice broke at the last word. After a long exhale, then a catch in her breath, she continued, “But I’m the one paying for it.”

  Darren…

  “That goddamn roof,” I growled. My phone-tracking app pegged Logan there. Again.

  I slammed the door and floored the truck, pissed the fuck off. At the world. No matter what I did, my family ended up on that goddamn roof. I’d lost one. I would not lose another.

  Seven-and-a-half long minutes. I’d clocked it. The time it took to get from our house to that roof took forever. Every single time.

  No rhythm chattered in my head. My thumbs didn’t drum the steering wheel. Only gut-wrenching terror filled my brain, pressed down on my chest, rushed hard past my eardrums.

  I skipped the building’s slow elevator and pounded up the steps. One flight. Two. Three. Four. Each passed faster and faster as adrenaline pumped, fueled by frustration and anger.

  At the fifth flight, I slowed, catching my breath as I approached the final climb to the rooftop landing. She didn’t need to see my rage. I took a couple of lung-clearing breaths and paused, waiting until my pulse slowed.

  There. Nice and calm. Like Logan needed me to be. Her rock. The one holding it together. As long as she believed that, everything would be okay.

  Unable to wait any longer, I put my hand on the door, leaned my head down, then paused. Mild relief coursed through me when I saw the same brick propped against the doorframe. It kept the entry point two-way. Meant she’d planned to come back through it. Finally, I pushed the door open.

  Then I blinked, confused at what I saw.

  Two dark figures sat on that ledge.

  Keeping to the shadows, I walked forward. Did this boy friend of hers—I struggled to remember his name—have long hair?

  Two voices carried my way. Two girl voices.

  I narrowed my eyes and came closer, moving behind the vent stacks. I didn’t feel one damn ounce of guilt for spying on Logan. She was my responsibility. And she’d promised not to come up here anymore alone. I’d meant not without me.

  A gust of wind caught the other girl’s hair. She turned. Smiled.

  Kiki.

  My whole body shuddered from the shock of seeing her. Then relaxed just as fast, my stomach dropping, as the realization hit me.

  Logan had called Kiki—not me.

  I moved in front of the vent stacks, shielding myself from the wind and searching for that acoustical sweet spot from the other night. They were partially turned toward each other, their faces in profile. If I squinted, I could barely make out their features.

  “…don’t know what to do.” Logan paused. “I like him. I mean really like him. But I’m not ready for that. Not yet. It doesn’t feel right.”

  The hair on the back of my neck raised. No him better be pressuring you to do anything, Lo.

  “Trevor isn’t just a guy.” Kiki tilted her head. “He’s a senior? So he’s what, seventeen?”

  Trevor. That’s the punk’s name. The one Logan had sworn needed no condoms—no sex.

  “Eighteen.” Logan leaned to the side, then dropped an empty bottle into its carton with a clink.

  Kiki gave a hard nod. “Not just a guy. A hormonal guy. Guys in high school think with their dicks. It’s impossible for him to understand.” She tapped Logan’s temple twice with her finger. “He has no blood up here to think with.”

  Listen to Kiki, Logan. Guys are dicks.

  Logan adjusted, facing Kiki more fully. “I just wish I didn’t like him so much. Sometimes I think the heavier depression was better. I was lost in a huge haze that I couldn’t see out of. But at least I wasn’t up and down like this, worrying if he’ll like me if I push for us to wait.” She let out a heavy sigh. “I think about him all the time.”

  “Wait.” Kiki’s voice had a stern edge.

  Yeah. Wait.

  “Then what? How will I know?”

  Kiki’s gaze dropped and she stared at some point on the roof. “Hell if I know. I made the mistake of not waiting. I liked a guy so much in high school. I thought when he started paying attention to me that he liked me. Instead, I think it was more I wanted him to like me, accept me. With everyone in school snickering behind my back, and then him suddenly listening to me, paying attention to me, I thought someone finally got me. And it wasn’t just any someone. It was Kyle, the one guy I’d been crushing hard on.”

  Kiki shook her head. “Idiot me didn’t suspect that maybe he noticed me because I stared at him every chance I got. I was the girl blushing and turning away when he’d look up and catch me staring.”

  Logan leaned forward, edging more into Kiki’s space. “What happened?”

  Yeah. What happened? Was Kyle the guy who spooked you?

  “He said he liked me. A lot. And he made it a point to tell me it was because I was different.” Kiki turned now, crossing her legs underneath her.

  I blew out a tense breath, worried as fuck that the two most important women in my life were both sitting too far out on the edge of a five-story building. My heart jammed into my throat as I began to obsess about the fall. A deadly fall.

  This building takes things.

  With a hard swallow, I forced the lump back down. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, then opened them. Kiki and Logan were fine. They didn’t seem bothered by the height.

  If they aren’t worried, I shouldn’t be.

  “He met me every day at lunch for weeks,” Kiki continued. “We went out to a couple of movies. Bowling once, just him and me. Then he asked me to prom. And I lied to my parents, saying I was going by myself. I didn’t want them to meet him. Which was weird, because I shared everything with them. Cade and my sisters didn’t even know about him.”

  Logan nodded her head. “I get that.”

  That bothered me. Knowing Logan would want to keep anything from me. But that she shared her issues with Kiki helped. Maybe Logan needed a girl to talk with. I let out a relieved breath, grateful that Logan had felt close enough—safe enough—with Kiki to open up to her.


  “Anyway, I told my parents I was staying at a friend’s house. We really went to a hotel room. We didn’t even stay at prom an hour. What I didn’t know until that point was that I was the main event for him.”

  “Were you a virgin too?”

  Kiki nodded. “He told me he loved me. I believed it, because I loved him. I had no idea at the time that I wasn’t in love; I was infatuated.”

  “You had sex?”

  Kiki paused, taking a deep breath. “Eventually. That night I had my first kiss. My first attempt at a blow job. My first sex. Second sex. And before we left in the morning, another blow job under his direction, then my third sex. He dropped me off at the curb in front of my house.” She paused, then took another breath. “Didn’t call me after that.”

  “Motherfucker,” I bit out under my breath, scowling.

  “Oh, wow. That’s horrible.” Logan crossed her arms over her middle, hugging herself. After a long silence, she sighed. “Trevor told me he loves me.” Her voice hushed.

  “Look, I’ve never met Trevor. Maybe he’s one of the rare ones. How long have you two been seeing each other?”

  “Define seeing.”

  Yeah. I leaned closer, glad Kiki asked every question I would have.

  “Just hanging out in my room. Or at school, in the music room.”

  “How long have you been ‘hanging out’?”

  “’Bout a month.”

  “Wait, Logan.” Kiki dropped her head down, then glanced back up. “If he really cares about you, he will wait. If he won’t, then he doesn’t. Real love doesn’t need sex.”

  “How do you know?”

  Kiki’s expression changed, her face relaxing. The corners of her mouth lifted into a smile. “Because I’ve had sex. Not a ton of it, but enough to know all I’ve ever had is ‘sex’ with guys.” She took a healthy pull from her beer.

  “Have you ever been in love?”

  Kiki pulled the bottle away and licked her lips. She stared hard at Logan. “Yeah. With the one guy who wouldn’t have sex with me.”

  I wondered who that guy was for five idiotic seconds. Then it hit me.

  Me. I’m the one guy.

  Air sucked in and out in short bursts as I struggled to breathe.

  Then I silently backed up and escaped through the rooftop door.

  Kiki…

  My head spun a little after the talk with Logan and not all of it from the slight beer buzz. As I drove through the gate of my property, still processing everything she’d shared—what I’d shared—Darren’s truck came into view.

  He leaned against the back fender, knee bent with a foot propped on the tire, arms crossed over his chest. He stared at me with a dead-serious expression.

  Busted. Somehow he knew. Everything about him seemed coiled, pissed. Had Logan called him after I left…or before?

  I parked in my space and got out. “Hey.”

  “Hey.”

  Nothing more. Only the intensity of his stare.

  “I just came from—”

  “I know.”

  “You do?” I frowned, hoping he’d elaborate.

  “I was there.”

  Okaaay…not at all what I expected. I hadn’t seen or heard him. Had Logan known? My mind raced over what I’d revealed. Too many private things. “How much did you—”

  “Enough.”

  He knew.

  My face flamed with heat. Great. Yet another guy who knew how deeply I felt about him. That knowledge changed the game for guys. Shredded hopes for girls.

  “He’s a motherfucking asshole.”

  I blinked. Clearly we weren’t talking about the same thing. “Who, Trevor?”

  “Maybe Trevor, too.”

  Confused, my brow wrinkled.

  “Kyle.” He bit out the name.

  It stung my ears. Like it always had. Then I winced, realizing he’d heard plenty.

  Before I processed the movement, Darren collided into me, arms wrapping behind my hips in a gentle hold. “Not all guys are like that.”

  “No?” My cheek pressed against his solid chest as I breathed out the question.

  “No.” His tone held finality as his arms tightened.

  Several heartbeats later, when he eased his grip, I slipped my hands between us, pressing on his chest.

  He only let go enough to allow me to look up into his eyes, but not to break away.

  His gaze intensified. “I’m not.”

  I opened my mouth to argue. That it didn’t matter. That I couldn’t take the chance. That I liked him too much…but then, if he’d heard about Kyle, he might know that my feelings ran much stronger for him than “like.”

  No words came out, humiliation sucking the air from my lungs. I frowned, head tilting down until my forehead pressed to his sternum.

  A gentle finger touched my chin, tilting my face upward until our gazes clashed.

  He stared down at me with renewed intensity. “You will give me a chance. Us a chance.”

  “I will?”

  “Yes. So you’re scared. Suck it up, Flash. When you run, if you stare at the rock, you will hit the rock. Keep your eyes on the trail. What we could be is just around the bend.”

  It sounded amazing—the tiny bit of unknown hope that we could be something.

  Worry sank in an instant later. My brows furrowed and I opened my mouth to ask about every little thing that jammed into my brain.

  His expression darkened. “No. You don’t get to shoot this down before it happens.”

  I took a deep breath, exhaled slowly. Then began chewing on my lip.

  His tight embrace—his entire essence—was unwavering. And I liked being in his arms. It felt warm there, strong, safe.

  I wanted to believe. The little girl somewhere deep inside me—the one who hadn’t become jaded—wanted to believe there was a good guy for her.

  “Say it. Say you’ll give us a chance.”

  I tried to visualize what that might be like, but failed. “I don’t know what that means.”

  “You don’t have to.”

  “That makes no sense.”

  “Not everything does, Kiki.”

  And still, my brain shut down at the idea.

  “Remember the first trail run I took you on?”

  A smile tugged at my lips. “Yes.” That, I could visualize.

  “Do you also remember hanging by a branch, almost falling into a ravine?”

  My stomach clenched as I remembered that harrowing moment. I gave him a short nod.

  “Then what happened?”

  “You said I was almost there. To trust you.”

  “I’m telling you to trust me again.” His eyes narrowed. “You’re hanging by the branch again, afraid to let go. I’m asking you to let go. I won’t let you get hurt.”

  “You can’t promise that.” Love and hurt went hand in hand.

  For the first time since I’d returned home tonight, amusement lit his eyes. His lips twisted into a smirk. “I can promise whatever happens will be worth the pain.”

  I slapped his chest. “Confident much?”

  He didn’t relinquish his iron hold. “I’m serious. Say it.”

  On a hard swallow, I considered what he offered. More than a one-night stand. More than friends. I’d be risking it all on what I’d been afraid of for years. But then, my friend wasn’t promising me a guaranteed happy ending, just that it would be different—better.

  Could I take that chance?

  My heart raced. My whole body began to shake. I tried to push out of his hold, scared to death that I wouldn’t be able to handle it. What if my own fears screwed it up?

  What if I…lost…him?

  “That bad, huh?” His voice quieted as he tightened his arms around me.

  I nodded, tears springing to my eyes.

  “He really did a number on you.”

  “Yeah.” My breath stuttered as I tried to pull air into my lungs. “I was crushed. It wasn’t just him. All the kids who’d ostracized me knew. Like
I’d become some puzzling endangered species they stared at and whispered about until he flushed me out of the jungle one day and conquered me.”

  “He was an asshole. They all were.”

  “Yeah.” I sniffed.

  “I’m not.”

  “I know.” And yet fear still gripped me.

  When my lips parted, all the reasons why I thought it was a bad idea ready to tumble off my tongue, he pressed a gentle finger to them.

  Fierce determination glittered in his gaze.

  “Don’t. Don’t say no. Don’t answer now. Don’t even think about it—about us.”

  He huffed out a frustrated breath, brows furrowing. “All I’m saying is, don’t fight it. Don’t be afraid of us. If we are meant to happen…just let it.”

  Then his eyes softened.

  And my resolve crumbled on a whisper. “Okay.”

  Darren…

  Okay. Twenty-four hours later, Kiki’s soft-spoken word still echoed in my head.

  So did the memory of her shoving gently against me, trying to break free of my hold—trying to deny…us. Which had only made me tighten my arms and my resolve.

  No way was I letting her fears make her run.

  I’d loved her pressed against me, all soft curves and hard determination. Black hair wild. Cheeks pinked. Fiery spirit masking a tender heart.

  Before I’d had a chance to call her, she’d texted at 11:08 a.m. Saturday morning.

  Okay if I run on my own today?

  The gentleness of her request had floored me. She needed space. Time.

  Of course. See you at the party tonight?

  Her reply had pinged right back.

  Definitely. I’m looking forward to it.

  No afternoon had ever dragged slower.

  Saturday night finally came. Set-up happened as usual. Cade played point man, like he typically did.

  But the party started without his sisters showing up.

  Minutes ticked by. Twenty…thirty…forty-five…an hour.

  Nervous excitement buzzed through me.

  Just to see Kiki.

  I busied myself manning the sound booth. Colored lights pulsed onto a boogying dance floor. A rotating disco ball glittered over their heads. The low hum of conversations filled the space between notes of loud music.