Avoiding Mr Right

by Anita Heiss

I turned around confused. 'What?'

  'Me!' Mike stood up. I didn't know if it was just another of his cheesy lines or if he was serious. I gave a crooked half-smile and kept walking.

  'Wait!' Mike called out but I didn't stop. By the time I got to the corner he'd texted me:

  If I followed you home, would you keep me?

  I didn't know what to say. I wanted him to follow me home. But then what? I texted him back:

  I'll call u from Syds when I've settled in. Take care always. Pxx

  forty-four

  Should old acquaintance . . .

  The day of my departure arrived and I was counting down the hours I had left till I returned to Sydney. My thirteen months were up and I was due to go back to my little flat in Coogee, to Sauce Bar and the beach and the Ladies Baths and my coastal walks with Alice – that is, if Liza and Gary hadn't now permanently filled my spot. And I was going home to James.

  I felt empty as I packed up my sunny room in my comfortable house in Eildon Road. I would miss Shelley and all her shoes and drinking Pimm's and the house and St Kilda. It had been an amazing year. Shelley's parents would be home in two weeks and she'd be moving out again too.

  'You must have these.' Shelley walked in holding a pair of red pumps and a matching bag, neither ever used.

  'I can't take them – you love them. I was with you when you bought them, remember?'

  'Yes, I do remember. I bought them because you raved about them so much. I don't use them. Red's not even my colour really. And I bet your friends would love to see your Melbourne style back in Sydney. Red's a very Melbourne colour, you know – and it goes so well with black!'

  'Oh, you're wicked,' I laughed. Shelley knew how the girls had given me a hard time about the Sydney vs. Melbourne thing. And yes, they would love my little red numbers. Alice would want to borrow them for sure.

  'Thanks, darl – I'll wear them the first night we go out.'

  Shelley and I crammed everything into her little black Alfa and she took me to say goodbye to Josie. We cruised along Jacka Boulevard until we saw Josie doing her beat.

  'Hey, hottie!' I sung out the car window.

  'I always knew you wanted me,' Josie called back as she made her way to the car. I got out and gave her a hug like sisters do.

  'I'll miss your crazy ways, sis,' I told her.

  'Yeah, I know, but don't miss me too much, okay?'

  'Okay.'

  'I'm coming to Sydney later in the year so we can catch up for sure, eh? Maybe you can take me to some bars in Newtown or Erskineville.'

  'Sure thing. Would love to. Gotta run now, no tears, okay?'

  'No tears, love. Now move along, Shelley—' Josie leaned in the car. 'Or I'll have to give you a ticket for stopping in a no-stopping zone.'

  'She would too!' I said as I climbed back in the car.

  'See ya . . .' I screamed out as Shelley took off at lightning speed.

  On the way to the airport we swung around to say goodbye to Aunty Nell, Joe, Annie and the kids. Aunt put the kettle on and Joe had made some lemon-butter muffins. They were to die for. I'd miss the cuppas with Aunt and the delicious creations that I'd come to expect from my cousin. I'd even miss suburban East Bentleigh, which served my family well.

  'Now, you write to me, Peta, and you know I love photos, so please send me some photos, okay? You will, won't you?'

  'I will, Aunt. I promise.'

  'Sorry, Peta, but we better run if you're going to make your flight.' Shelley was pointing to her watch.

  'Right, can't miss it. James will be waiting and if I didn't get off the plane, he'd freak out for sure.'

  They all walked me to the car and Will and Maya gave me huge hugs.

  'I'll write to you and send you photos,' Maya said.

  'I would love that.' I kissed her on the top of her head and got in the car, fighting back tears and a massive lump in my throat.

  'Bye . . .' I said, weeping as we drove off again, and we hardly spoke all the way to the airport.

  Shelley had always refused to use Skype or Facebook, but we'd become such good friends I knew we'd keep in touch. 'I'll call you,' she said as she helped me lift my coffinlike suitcase out of the car.

  'Well, that'll mean you'll have to turn your mobile phone on.' And we both laughed in a sad kind of way. We were girls who liked to talk, not text or email. We hugged goodbye.

  ♥

  As I walked up the gangway off the plane, I had no idea what would happen between James and I. It had been an intense year for both of us. James was a good man and deserved good things. And so did I. Whether or not those good things would happen with each other, I just didn't know. All I knew at that very moment was that I could rely on James: he loved me, he missed me when I was away, and he wanted to give me a great lifestyle. He would never leave me and he would never change. James was the ultimate safe bet.

  As I walked through the opened glass doors I saw him. A man with a smile that filled my heart.

  He strode towards me as I pulled my cabin trolley through the crowd and crushed me in his arms. 'Hello, babe,' he said.

  epilogue

  Six months later I ironed the blue shirt carefully. I'd never believed I would feel so comfortable in a domestic relationship. Aunty Nell knew what she was talking about when she said that when you met the right man it would all fall into place.

  What I felt with Mike now I never felt with James. I'd never felt that sense of ease, the sense that things were 'right'. With Mike it was different – I wanted to be around him. I didn't want to send him off with his mates on Sunday, although it wasn't a drama if either of us wanted space.

  I'd moved back to Melbourne and was in a full-time position at DOMSARIA, doing what I was best at. And Mike was still reading books I brought home and reports related to anything on Indigenous issues and policing. He attended Klub Kooris with me, and art openings and book launches, and he loved it, but he didn't do it just to support me. He said he did it for himself, 'to be a better man'. That was the difference. Everything James did, he did for me, not with me. James did things to make me happy, but I didn't know if he was ever happy doing them.

  I realised also what Dannie had been trying to tell me about marriage and sex. The one thing that was never a problem for James and I was physical intimacy, and it had been the only thing that kept us close when we were separated. Mike and I had great sex, too, but we shared intimacy in so many other ways: laughing over his stupid lines, which didn't end when we got together; going to rallies together and feeling the power of protest; and talking about how we both wanted the same thing out of life – to make the world a better place. In Mike, I'd found my soul mate. He had been my Mr Right all along.

  I didn't have the fancy lifestyle that James would've given me, but I had the kind of mutually supportive relationship I'd always thought was beyond me. In return for helping Mike become 'a better man', he taught me unconditional love. And he never, ever, ever called me 'babe'.

  Acknowledgements

  For inspiration with characters, scenes, key phrases and funny lines, my thanks go to: Josef Heiss, Michelle Wong, Ali Smith, Rachel Berger, the boys at Sauce Bar and Grill, Prue McCahon, Paul Galea, Michael McDaniel, Paula Maling, Bernardine Knorr, Julie Reilly, Ray Kelly, Richard Frankland, Angela Gardner, Kerry Kilner, Phillipa McDermott, Scott Weber, a certain muso friend and the entire Sydney Swans footy team.

  For a research base in Melbourne, thanks to: Mark Olive, Greg and Lola the cat.

  For ideas on the Melbourne vs. Sydney debates, thanks to: Prue Adams, Michelle Crawford, Jeff Hore, Nicholas Birns, Josh and Danielle Goodswin and Kevin Klehr.

  For the essentials on how to research 'properly' in Melbourne, thanks to: Marianne, Pete, Maya and Will, Doug and Steve, Wesley, Rayce, Dianna, Stella, and everyone else who sat in bars, cafes and restaurants with me.

  For inspiring Peta's astral travelling, thanks to: the Greek waiter, the Italian security guard, the American tour guide, the Spanish customs officer, th
e Japanese limo-driver, Buddy Holly, Robert Redford and Barry Manilow.

  To the Random House Dream Team, Larissa Edwards, Elizabeth Cowell and Claire Rose – Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! – for making the dreams of a girl from the burbs come true.

  A massive serve of appreciation to Tara Wynne from Curtis Brown for being so wonderful.

  To the lovely ladies at Matraville Newsagency – for making a Matto girl feel like a local celebrity, and for keeping newspapers and magazines for me – I pay my respects and gratitude.

  To my friend and confidante, Robynne Quiggin, for making me laugh on the bad days, and keeping everything in the cone of silence. To Terri Janke for making me want to be a better human being. And Geraldine Star for teaching me how to be. Thank you all!

  As always, a heartfelt thanks to my mum and all the family, who tolerate me like no-one should ever have to. They constantly demonstrate unconditional love, the kind that Peta Tully feels she will never know or be able to give.

  www.anitaheiss.com

  Dr Anita Heiss has published poetry, non-fiction, historical fiction and social commentary. Her first chick lit novel, Not Meeting Mr Right, won the 2007 Deadly Award for Outstanding Achievement in Literature. In 2004 she was listed on the Bulletin/Microsoft 'Smart 100'. Anita is a member of the Wiradjuri nation of central New South Wales, lives in Sydney and enjoys her research trips to Melbourne.

  Not Meeting Mr Right

  Anita Heiss

  Alice Aigner is successful, independent and a confirmed serial dater – but at her ten-year school reunion she has a sudden change of heart. Bored rigid by her 'married, mortgaged and motherly' former classmates, Alice decides to prove that a woman can have it all: a man, marriage, career, kids and a mind of her own.

  She sets herself a goal: meet the perfect man and marry him before her thirtieth birthday, just under two years away. Together with her best friends Dannie, Liza and Peta, Alice draws up a ten-point plan. Then, with a little help from her mum, her dad, her brothers, her colleagues and her neighbour across the hall, she sets out to find Mr Right. Unfortunately for Alice, it's not quite as easy as she imagines . . .

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