by Wood, A. L.
I know that I should wait for her to realize what she just said, that she’s going to give us a chance.
But I can’t stop.
I won’t stop.
Because she’s going to live.
I rush to her, wrapping my arms around her pulling her body close, our lips only inches from each other’s. I pause and look into her eyes, “I would have waited forever. I would have held on.” I smash my lips into hers.
She opens her lips and I thrust my tongue inside of her mouth, tasting her sweetness. I bring my hands up to cradle her head, my hands running through her hair. She starts unbuttoning my shirt. When she hits the last button, I let go of her to pull my arms free my shirt.
I pull her shirt off her. I gasp. She’s gorgeous. She’s perfect.
I unhook her bra and let it fall to the floor, unveiling her perfect breasts. I take turns between them both, sucking and nibbling on each nipple, lavishing them both with my mouth.
I slowly drop down to my knees. I slide her shoes off and look up to her for approval, while my fingers go for the button on her jeans.
“Yes.” She gives her approval.
I unbutton and unzip her jeans carefully. I slide them down and off her legs slowly, skimming my fingers along her creamy skin. She inhales deeply. I bring my fingers down her legs again slowly and then back up again, before slipping one hand between her legs. I left her panties on. When they’re removed I want her to be the one removing them. I want her to want it as badly as I do.
I rub her through her panties, feeling the wetness seeping through. She moans. I lick her over her panties. She holds my head to her, pressing my face firmly into her. I continue licking her, sliding my tongue up and down, my fingers clutching her thighs tightly.
“I can’t take it anymore. We need to go to my room.” she says while letting go of my head, grabbing my hands, pulling me up, and leading me to her room.
When we enter her bedroom, she drops her panties. My cock wants to come instantly upon seeing her bare flesh. I can see her wetness, glossy on the lips of her sex.
I kick my shoes off, then she shoves me onto her bed. Taking the lead, she unbuttons my jeans. I slide them off, my briefs and all. My hard cock springs free, pre-cum beading at the tip. She licks it off.
She’s going to be the death of me.
Her tongue swirls around the head of my cock, teasing me just before she takes it all into her mouth. Again and again, I hit the back of her throat.
She gags, so I pull it back out. She sucks it back in, her salvia running out of her mouth and all over my cock and balls. She pulls my dick out of her mouth and rubs the wetness of her salvia on me, jerking my cock up and down, her fist squeezing me, producing more pre-um.
If she keeps it up, I am going to cum.
“Stop, I don’t want to come like this. I want to come while I’m inside of you.” I moan out harshly.
She jumps up and rounds her bed to a nightstand, opening a drawer and producing a condom. She tears the packet open with her teeth and slides it on over me.
She climbs over me in a sitting position, her breasts hanging in my face. I suck on them as she glides her moist pussy over my dick. I hold on to her hips as she sits back onto my cock and when I’m fully sheathed inside of her wetness, I realize, I’m living.
"If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward."
— Martin Luther King Jr.
Chapter Twelve
Recovery isn’t achieved in days.
Even while knowing that, I can’t deny that Jason didn’t fill that void I’ve felt if only temporarily. I want to see where we’ll go, together. Long distance isn’t going to be easy, but I have a job here that I enjoy and I couldn’t ask him to put his on hold for me. I wouldn’t ask that of him ever, so until I feel like we do have that something more that could be a permeant thing, I won’t consider leaving all that I have.
Sure, my apartment is run down, it’s not in the best neighborhood and lacks security. Still, it’s my home. Something I earned for myself, something that no one can take away from me, provided I pay the bills on time. These are the thoughts I find running through my mind as I watch Jason lying beside me, still asleep.
To say that sex with him was amazing wouldn’t be enough, it was more. Something I hadn’t felt with anyone before him, and he has me questioning if I would be able to find it with another after him. I can sense that he’s a life-changer. Someone that was brought to me at the right time, someone that was meant to be in my life. I hope it’s for the long haul, the love you forever, your my soul-mate kind of haul.
Changing has begun and will continue inside of me until I’m healed, and the insecurity of the entire situation has me questioning myself. But I realize that I can’t just run from this, from him over insecurities. I owe it to him to try, and to be honest.
To communicate.
I swipe my fingertips over his jaw, gently sliding one fingertip over his lip. His lips quiver, so I continue doing it.
I want to wake him up, just to kiss him.
Because when my lips touch his, I feel alive.
"Doubt thou the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt I love."
— William Shakespeare (Hamlet)
Chapter Thirteen
“Is that the only reason you woke me up for?” I ask Raven.
Her hair hangs messily in front of her face, knots throughout that I long to run my fingers through just to see her beautiful face completely unhidden.
“I’m not quitting my job, or giving up my apartment, I just cant.” She spits out in a rush leaving no room for a pause in between words.
“I didn’t ask you to, nor am I going to ask you to give anything up. Where in the hell did that come from? What’s wrong Raven? I ask her while swiping her hair out of her face.
She casts her eyes away from mine.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say it like that. I’m just having questions, insecurities, as to how we’ll move forward.”
“Baby, we’ll move forward at a slow pace. I know you’re not able to do it fast, even though I would like you too. I’m not about to rush you into anything you’re uncomfortable with. We will get to the future when we’re there. Like I said last night, its one day at a time. I know that if I rush this I risk losing you, and you’re not something I’m willing to part with. All you have to do is tell me, talk to me, and if you promise to that I can promise you that I’ll be here waiting for you to say when you’re ready to take each step. I’ll hold your hand and let you guide me, I’m not saying that sometimes I won’t want to reach out and tug on the reins to run in full force in another direction, taking shortcuts to our future, that’s when you’ll have to tell me.” I pull her close so I can kiss her tender lips, needing to feel her, needing to take her essence.
She allows me my fill of her then pulls away.
“What about the band? Tour? How can we work when you’ll be gone most of the time? That’s your life, and I don’t want you to stop living it for me. Will you be faithful, can I trust you? Why me? These are all the things running through my head right now, doubt that we can make it anywhere after we leave this bed.”
“I’m not like that, I don’t believe in being unfaithful, so yes you can trust me. Steele’s Army is my family, and music is what I breathe every single day, it’s the way I live. I didn’t think you’d ask me to give it up, and I wouldn’t, I couldn’t it’s a part of who I am, but we don’t tour year round. Fuck, normally we don’t tour half as long as we are now. We’re only doing this one so long because we had to make up for took off. If you wanted you could join me on tour, whenever you had free time, I could even fly here to you when I had days off. It’s something we can figure out along the way, and when we can’t see each other there’s always Skype or FaceTime, we could call each other. We have
many ways to make this work. You need to replace that doubt with hope baby when you can, in the meantime I have enough for both of us.”
The End.
Acknowledgements’
Many thanks to the amazing people listed below. You all have supported me throughout this journey, and I couldn’t have done it without you’re never-ending encouragement. So, thank you from the depths of my soul. I love you.
Chad
Payton
Tina
Amber
Carl
Janice
Chris
Kirsty
Amy
Renee
Toni
Andrew
Diane
Hayden
Steele’s Groupies (My Rock Stars!)
First Chance: Rock Romance #1
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An Excerpt from First Chance: Rock Romance #1
Chapter 1
Natalie
“I think I just fell head over heels in love.”
That's what my best friend Layla just squealed aloud to me.
She’s staring at an album cover, drooling over the lead singer of a rock band I have never heard of. Don’t get me wrong I love music, I breathe music. It’s a part of my soul. I just have no interest in a mainstream rock band- sell outs really. Layla tells me the band’s name is Steele's Army; their lead singer Steele is her dream man. The man she would give everything up for. A man she would follow anywhere.
She mentions that they are coming to our college in Boston. Our college, the Berklee School of Music, entered some radio contest, and we won. I do not want to go but am preparing myself to. I know Layla is going to use the friend card to get me to agree to attend this sorry excuse of a concert. What’s one night of putting up with shitty soulless music for my best friend?
I've known Layla my entire life. Our parents were best friends, until tragedy struck.
I hate remembering those days. It always hurts. We celebrated every birthday and holiday together as a family. Living across the street from each other our entire lives, our parents being so close to one another, we would have dinner together every night. As a family. Rotating who would host.
Until five years ago, Layla and I were staying at my house having a movie night while our parents went to a sit down fundraiser dinner raising money for abused children. Our parents were always supporting charities. They were fortunate to have money beyond their wildest dreams. I also donate quarterly, mainly to charities for children or music programs, in memoriam of them.
I still don’t know all the details, nor do I want to. I think it would fuck me up even more if I did.
Recalling that night. It was late, way past our supposed bedtime, when we heard a knock at the door. I paused the movie we were watching and answered the door. It was a police officer. He introduced himself as Officer Petty's. He asked if I was Natalie Wright. That being me of course, I said yes. He then asked if Layla was there and if we would come with him.
I should have known something was wrong when he wouldn’t tell us why we were on our way to the hospital. In fact, he wouldn’t tell us anything at all. When you tell someone that their parents are deceased and that her best friend’s parents are in surgery, you don’t want them to be alone.
When we entered the ER, he asked me if I wanted to see my parents’ bodies that's how we broke the crushing news. There was no way that I could handle something like that, and I really didn't wish to remember my parents that way, so I hastily declined.
Firstly, I was angered at the officer then at the doctors for not being able to save them. Then anger toward the cruelty of it all. What kind of person informs a fifteen year old that she is now alone in the world like that?
Later, I had found out that the officer did try to find out if I had any next of kin, preferring that they broke the news. I remember him asking if we would like to wait in the waiting room while Layla’s parents were in surgery.
Where else would we have gone?
While we sat in that waiting room nervously awaiting news from the doctors on Layla’s’ parents condition, what was happening slowly sunk in. I became numb just feeling a wave of emptiness wash over me, my heart detaching itself from my emotions, no longer there. I was alone. They were my only blood family. My parents were both products of a one child family and my grandparents on both sides had passed way before I had made my way into this world.
Apparently our parents had a few drinks and thinking Layla's father was the least drunk, he drove them home. Speeding down the road, he lost control of the car causing the vehicle to crash into a guard rail, and my parents were then thrown from the car. EMTs found my parents bodies about fifty feet away from the car. They were pronounced dead on the scene. Layla's father, Brian, was going at least seventy miles an hour and not one of them were wearing seatbelts.
Layla's father and mother recovered. They had scars from the injuries, easily hidden underneath clothing, but there was more scarring. Less visible to people that I could see in their eyes every time they looked at me for the past five years.
I think that's why they took over guardianship of me, out of obligation to my parents. I could have gone to a foster home. The money would have been put away in a trust, and when I turned eighteen, I would have been discharged from the state and handed a loaded bank account.
I know they love me in their own way, but I also think the guilt ate at them so much that they did things out of both guilt and love. My parents were rich. Layla's were as well, and because of that my life was set. I never had to worry about anything. I could do whatever I wanted with my life. I chose to go to college many miles away from home. Away from the pity stares of everyone in my home town. With Layla.
We rented an apartment instead of residing in a dorm on campus. You never knew who you'd be rooming with, and we would rather be with each other. She’s the only person who never treated me differently after my parents died. People think I should hate her. Hate her parents. How could I? They were all drinking, I'm sure it wasn't the first time they risked their lives seeing who could drive instead of calling a taxi or another friend. It could have been my parents driving.
Brian didn't mean for it to happen. It was an accident, a freak-forever life-changing accident.
“Nat, NATALIE!” Layla's snapping fingers in front of my eyes and yelling at me.
She’s telling me we have to go shopping for new outfits for this concert. I tell her she’s buying since I don’t even want to go in the first place. I must have spaced off thinking of the past. It doesn't often happen because I don’t let it. I try to package it in a neat little box and shove it in the back of my mind.
I can afford it, but attending wasn’t my idea, and I don’t go around broadcasting the total in my bank account by spending it on frivolous materialistic items. I only spend money on necessities. Things I need to get by such as; college tuition, books, materials for class, shampoo, body wash, and food. I don’t believe in luxuries because there are so many people in the Godforsaken world that aren't as well off as I am.
Last Chance: Rock Romance #2
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An excerpt from Last Chance: Rock Romance #2
Prologue
Layla
Just getting off from my eight-hour shift at the hippest local bar in Boston, I am exhausted and ready to hit my bed full force. Luckily I had a day shift, so it wasn’t nearly as busy as it is when working the night shift. I can’t get Nat out of my mind. In the past week, I have only heard from her once.
When I dropped her off, she promised me, she would st
ay in contact. This is the longest we will be away from each other since we’ve been alive. I also know this is a way out of her comfort zone. The members of “Steele’s Army” are daunting, and I know she puts on that tough exterior act, but she can only hold that facade up for so long.
I couldn’t help but push her into this. After five years of seeing her live her life hidden beneath this shell, as her best friend, I refused to stop being her enabler. She ought to have so much more than what life has thrown at her, forced upon her. I know my parents; my father more so, feels extreme guilt.
I also know that since the tragedy Nat has never blamed my dad. I have never needed her confirmation; we have always been a family. The accident ruined my dad. He killed his best friend, his brother and his wife.
After that day, he could never keep eye contact with me; a big part of the reason I agreed and supported Nat’s decision to leave New York. I was tired of my family not being able to linger around me for more than ten minutes. They thought that money could somehow substitute their absence.
Do I enjoy the money? Is it cold in Antarctica?
I enjoy not having to rely on student grants or loans to pay for college. I also enjoy not having to wonder where my next paycheck is going to come from, and worry over how each bill will get paid. I like being able to help people, others that are not as fortunate as I.
I enter the apartment throwing my car keys down on the kitchen counter, too lazy to attempt at cooking something to eat, I throw ramen in the microwave. While my food is cooking, I decide to go into Natalie’s room. This week has been agony for me. Being without her here in this apartment isn’t the same. It’s lonely without her music jamming loudly at all hours of the day, hell it’s just lonely without her.
I have probably slept in her room four nights this week. Finding comfort by enfolding myself in her blankets. Our lives were planned to be intertwined long before we were born. Natalie will always be my other half. A part of my being. She has always felt that I was her sanity, her reason to keep moving every day. She’s always voiced her opinion on that.