Whatever the Price

by Jules Bennett

Anthony missed his sister with an ache he hadn’t thought possible. He hated that she wouldn’t see her baby grow up. He’d never understand why a life had to be cut short. He just couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that he was here and she wasn’t.

  He continued bouncing up and down until he caught sight of a flash of skin from the corner of his eye.

  “Can I join you guys?”

  Charlotte started into the pool wearing a string bikini. Anthony didn’t know whether to thank God or Satan.

  To his knowledge she didn’t own a one-piece, but he had a feeling if she’d known about this little trip, she would’ve bought one just to torture him.

  Or maybe she purposely put on the skimpiest one she owned to torture him. Either way, he was a sucker when it came to her body. All lush and curvy and so perfect when molded against his.

  “Come on in. Lily Bug and I were just having fun.” He splashed a little more water over Lily, making her laugh. “Did you have a good rest?”

  “I did, but then I felt guilty for lying down, so I got up. I actually made a phone call to the caterer and the director of the hospital. I’m trying not to work while we’re here, but there are a few details I left hanging for the dedication of the new wing.”

  He couldn’t think of a response, not when the water settled just under her breasts, causing her nipples to pucker. He knew what lay beneath that slim scrap of fabric. He’d touched her, tasted her. And he would again soon. There was only so long his Charlie could hold out.

  But he knew he had to take this slow. He wanted his wife back, and not just in his bed. He wanted to see her smile again and he wanted to be the one who put that smile on her face. He wanted that broken bond to be repaired and he wanted to move forward with their new family. He wanted it all, but before he could seduce her body, he had to seduce her heart. He wanted her to fall in love with him all over again.

  “Did I hear you calling her Lily Bug?” she asked, moving closer to them.

  He looked down at Lily who was patting the top of the water and blinking with each drop that threatened to get near her eyes. “Yes. It just came out at first, and now that’s what I call her.”

  “I like it.” Charlotte smiled and adjusted Lily’s hat over her eyes. “Did you put plenty of sunscreen on her?”

  “Of course.”

  “What about the swimming diapers?”

  Swimming diapers? There were special diapers for swimming?

  “She has on her regular diaper,” he answered, knowing he’d done something wrong. “What’s the difference?”

  Charlotte took Lily from him and held her up out of the water to show a very wet, very saggy diaper. “This. If she’d had on a swimming diaper, it wouldn’t absorb all the water and wouldn’t be sagging practically to her ankles.”

  “Really?” He was a little amazed that a diaper could hold so much moisture and still stay on.

  Oh, Lord. He knew he was already deep into fatherhood when a diaper impressed him.

  It used to be that new special effects and lighting techniques in films would impress him. Now it was the absorbency of a diaper.

  Yeah, that was quite a switch.

  “Where are these magical diapers?” he asked.

  Charlotte moved up the steps and out of the pool. Her response was totally lost on him because now those scraps of material she had on were wet and clinging to places his hands ached to touch. Water droplets slid down the back of her thighs over smooth, tanned skin.

  “I’ll be right back.”

  Charlotte took Lily inside where he assumed she’d packed these superabsorbent diapers. That should give him enough time to get in a couple laps, get his libido back under control and quit lusting after his own wife who was so close, yet still unapproachable when it came to intimacy.

  * * *

  Her hands shook as she pulled the swim diaper up over Lily’s pudgy legs. When she’d glanced out her window and seen Anthony’s bare, tanned, chiseled chest with Lily’s pale body lying against it, she nearly drooled right there in the privacy of her room.

  True, his sexy chest was nothing new. Impressive as it was, she never tired of looking at it. But it was the image of her big, strong husband with those powerful hands holding on to an innocent, sweet baby that had her heart clenching.

  So, yeah, a little groan of desire had escaped her when she’d seen them together. And she figured if she had to be tortured by looking at him, she could play that game, too.

  She’d pulled out his favorite bikini, the simple black one made up of only triangles and strings. Only after she’d gotten into the pool, she wasn’t so sure that had been a good idea. They were both nearly naked and desire shot straight from his eyes as he raked his gaze over her heated body…her heated, aching body. She wondered if he noticed her heavier, fuller breasts. She remembered from the last pregnancy that her bras and shirts were a tad snug from the get-go. That was one of the first signs, other than her missed period, of the pregnancy.

  But her bikini had never completely covered her top anyway, so maybe he hadn’t noticed. He was a man, and this was his favorite suit on her, so she had no doubt he was cooling off out there in the pool.

  The diaper was a good save, though if he’d had a swimmy diaper on Lily, Charlotte would’ve had to come up with another reason to beat a hasty retreat.

  What was she thinking, toying around with lust like that? Her emotions were all over the place and she wished she could just pick one and go with it.

  She pulled the bathing suit back over the baby and headed out to the pool.

  “Let’s just play on the steps, okay, little one?”

  No way could she be that close to Anthony again and not touch him. And she knew if he’d risen from the pool, not only would she have seen how low his trunks fit around his narrow waist, she’d have seen one impressive erection.

  She had to get these hormones under control. He was her husband, for pity’s sake. She’d touched, tasted and savored his body countless times. Unfortunately, she’d read online that many women are more into sex when pregnant than any other time.

  Perfect timing, Fate. Thanks a lot. Of all the times in her marriage to be extra horny…

  “She’s all ready,” Charlotte announced in a perky voice, hoping to make this a more family-friendly, G-rated swim session. “We’re going to splash around on the steps for a while.”

  Anthony smiled as he leaned an arm on the edging of the pool…thankfully at the other end. “She seems to like the water.”

  Charlotte sat on the second step and placed Lily on her lap. She squealed in delight and slapped her hands on top of the water, making Charlotte laugh.

  “We need to get her some toys for the pool or one of those little inflatable rafts she can just sit in.”

  “I’ll get it today,” he replied.

  Charlotte looked up at Anthony, who was moving through the water like a predator. So much for keeping their distance.

  “You always enjoyed the water, too.” He moved closer, standing at the base of the steps. Close enough that if she extended her legs just barely, her feet would brush his long legs. “If I recall, we enjoyed this pool together the last time we were in it. After that, we enjoyed the hot tub.”

  Charlotte turned her gaze from his. It would be so easy to keep looking in those eyes, to run back down that lane of memories, but she couldn’t. No matter how much her body craved to make new pool memories.

  “Don’t do this, Anthony.” She didn’t raise her voice, she didn’t beg. “We have to move slowly and you know it. We have more than just ourselves to think about.”

  He propped an arm on the concrete beside her and leaned closer to her face. “What I know is we are still married and we are sharing guardianship of Lily.” He leaned next to her ear and whispered, “And I’m also positive that r
ight now, you’re trying very hard not to give in to this sexual pull between us.”

  Why did he have to know her so well? Why did he have to say all the right, or, in her opinion, wrong, words to make her hormones jump up and start screaming? God, how would he react if he knew about the baby she carried?

  “It doesn’t matter what my body wants, Anthony.” She looked back up at him, keeping her eyes on his and not on that gorgeous chest inches away. “My heart is in control right now. It can’t afford another beating and I won’t let my emotions override what’s best for Lily—and hopefully us—in the long run.”

  He slid her hair from her shoulder to settle behind her back. The gentle touch sent shivers through her body.

  “I’m not putting my emotions above Lily’s needs, either,” he told her. “There’s no reason we can’t have it both ways.”

  She swallowed the lump of remorse. “There are about nine years of reasons we can’t get into this. Nine years of problems that led us here. We didn’t start having problems until we married, and then it was like you assumed I’d just be there no matter what. We need to learn from our mistakes in order to move forward.”

  He eased up, but when his wet palm covered her bare stomach, then slid up to cup her breast, Charlotte flinched and held her breath.

  “Your reaction proves that no matter what stands between us, we love each other, Charlie.”

  Lily let out another squeal and flapped her hands on top of the water, pulling Charlotte from the realization that her husband’s touch sent tingles up and down every nerve ending in her entire overheated body.

  Charlotte adjusted Lily on her lap, knocking Anthony’s hand off her breast. “Don’t do this to me. Don’t make me want things I can’t have right now. I have so many feelings…I just can’t.”

  He came to his full height, his eyes narrowing on hers. “Don’t do this to you? Don’t make you feel? I’m finding it damn hard to stay in this house with you, knowing, in your eyes, I don’t have the right to touch you. So don’t tell me not to do this to you, Charlie. I love you and I’m damn well going to fight for you.”

  He stepped out of the pool, sending water sloshing over her and Lily. Charlotte hugged Lily and rocked on the step. Between the sexual tension sizzling between her and Anthony and the stress of adjusting to a new baby, she wasn’t sure what emotion would envelop her next.

  “Are you ready for your nap, honey?”

  Charlotte scooped up Lily, kissed her on the nose and tried to stay positive. Arguing in front of the baby was not a good idea and certainly not a habit she intended to start.

  “Maybe after your nap we can see about going for a walk,” she told Lily, wrapping her in a hooded towel with a cat face.

  Perhaps they could escape without Anthony seeing them. Because the last thing she needed was another confrontation like the one they’d just had. Charlotte feared the next time he touched her, bare skin to bare skin, she’d ignore every warning flare her heart shot out and take what she desperately wanted and he was so anxious to give.

  * * *

  Anthony cursed himself for losing it in front of Lily. Getting angry and frustrated certainly wasn’t good for her, and it especially wasn’t good for the marriage he so desperately wanted to save.

  But dammit, he had feelings and he wasn’t going to keep them to himself any longer. She’d always wanted him to be more open and he knew if there was any chance of their making this work, he had to be honest about everything.

  He clenched his fist as he looked out the patio doors from his bedroom. When he’d slid a hand up her abdomen and over her breast, she’d sucked in her breath and asked him to stop.

  Stop what? Stop loving her? Stop fighting for her? Not likely, but he realized he had to go about getting his wife back in a different manner.

  But first he needed to apologize. As much as he hated admitting that he was wrong, he knew he needed to show her he was man enough to own up to his mistakes.

  Once Lily was in bed for the night, he’d show Charlotte how sorry he was. He knew exactly how to start making up for his recent actions.

  Seven

  “You ready for bed, sweetheart?”

  Charlotte tugged the zipper up on the footed pajamas as Lily let out a tiny yawn. She had no clue where Anthony was, but he’d missed bath time. She wasn’t going to beg him to help. He either wanted to or he didn’t, and if he was so determined to show her how “dedicated” he was to their family, this was a poor way of going about it.

  Charlotte turned on the gentle lullaby music that Lily had been falling asleep to. She picked up the sweet-smelling infant and held her to her chest. Before she knew it, she was swaying back and forth with Lily, humming to the tune, counting the steps in her head as she spun in wide, slow circles. A waltz with a baby, how precious.

  “You always did like to dance.”

  Stunned, Charlotte turned at the sound of Anthony’s voice. Oh, my. The sight of her husband in only his black boxer briefs never failed to render her speechless. After nearly a decade of marriage and knowing every inch of his body, Charlotte still found her husband to be irresistibly sexy and desirable.

  And she knew if she had to walk away at the end of this, she’d never find anyone who made her heart beat wildly at just the sight of him or made her want him with just one look.

  “We were getting ready for bed,” she told him, somewhat embarrassed. For years she’d asked Anthony to take dance lessons with her, but that was just another thing that didn’t fit into his schedule.

  “Sorry I wasn’t here for the bath. I was…busy,” he told her, moving into the nursery. “I’ll get her to sleep. Why don’t you go down to the patio and wait for me. We need to talk.”

  Talk? Yes, they did. And this little reprieve would give her the time she needed to gather her courage and tamp her hormones down a notch…or five. She needed to tell him about the miscarriage last year and get some of this guilt off her chest.

  If she truly wanted to see if this marriage would work, she had to be honest. But first she wanted to revel in the fact Anthony was helping so much and the fact that he seemed eager to do so. This was the father, husband she’d always wanted. This was the man who could make their marriage work.

  “Her bottle is ready.” Charlotte pointed to the small table beside the rocker.

  Anthony came within inches and ran his fingertips up her bare forearms. Charlotte froze, her hands on the warm baby. But he did nothing more than get her nerves standing on end before he scooped up Lily, lifted her in the air and twirled her around.

  “Come on, Lily Bug. What do you say to Uncle Anthony feeding you tonight? We seem to get along when I’m feeding you. Can I rock my girl?”

  My girl.

  Charlotte turned from the room, grabbing the extra monitor on her way, since she and Anthony would be outside. She couldn’t stand in there, not with the image they were making. Happy father playing with their baby. The intimacy of him wearing only his underwear and Charlotte in her cotton halter-style nightgown. They weren’t that happy family who shared bedtimes and loving moments when the day was done. They weren’t a laughing family, sharing a bond and depending on each other for everything.

  Right now they were the epitome of broken, and Charlotte had to keep that in mind if Anthony decided he was done playing house and his work took top priority again. But she still held out hope that he would see that family could and always should come before a job.

  So he was putting Lily to bed and was doing so without her asking. She had no doubt that he was trying to make up for this afternoon. She knew him and she knew he didn’t like raising his voice or getting angry. No, Anthony had always been the fun-loving, good-time guy. To bare his emotions like that was new, and Charlotte figured he’d shocked himself and now wasn’t sure how to deal with it.

  She gla
nced back into the room one more time and her heart clenched at the sight of Anthony’s strong arm cradling Lily, the way his broad shoulders hid the majority of the rocking chair. The soft words he murmured to her as he fed her a bottle.

  How would he take the news of the miscarriage? Would he be angry at her for keeping the secret? Would he be sad at the loss?

  Needing another barrier in this battle she waged with herself, Charlotte went to her room to grab her matching silk robe. Too bad she didn’t own one of those big, thick, down-to-the-ankle terry-cloth numbers. That would be a much better coat of armor.

  She headed down the stairs toward the living room. But her breath caught when she looked out through the French doors and onto the patio, which basked in the glow of the moonlight. The gentle light slanted through the tall evergreens. But it wasn’t Mother Nature’s beauty that had her stopping in her tracks. It was the bundle of blue hydrangeas in a short, etched glass vase and the beautifully wrapped present sitting beside the bouquet.

  Quickly she crossed the room and went out into the warm night air, anxious to see what he’d done. Charlotte eased over to the table and fingered the pink silk ribbon that covered the thick, white, embossed paper.

  Anthony was a master at charm and seduction. How else did she explain why she’d stayed married to the man this long? Yes, she loved him, but it was that always-present appeal and temptation that kept her sticking through tough times. Pretty words and affection tended to cloud her judgment.

  Easing down onto the chaise beside the table, she stretched out and stared at the night sky. She would not be bought. Material things meant nothing to her if the gift didn’t come from the heart and if the gift was just a ploy.

  So here she sat, staring at the twinkling stars and the full moon just beyond the tall evergreen trees rising from the mountains surrounding Lake Tahoe. For the past few minutes she’d listened to the subtle tone of Anthony’s voice as he talked to his niece.

  “You have a very special lady in your life, Lily Bug.”

  Staring at the monitor, Charlotte shifted in her seat, uncomfortable that she was intruding on what he assumed was a private moment.