War Torn Love

by Londo, Jay M.

  Once the cantor was completed, the final ceremony before we were finally to be man and wife. Abram broke the glass wrapped in a towel. The old joke to this is, “This is the last time the husband will be able to put his foot down.”

  Then the Rabbi smiled and then spoke, “Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce Mr. and Mrs. Balsam!”

  It was weird and so wondrous to hear my name was now Mrs. Hana Balsam - just like that, forever more, my last name was now Balsam. I was so happy - I was positively grinning, from ear to ear. My stomach unwound some. I shall never stop thinking about this moment. It is the diamond of my memory – set in the center of that necklace of time.

  Then we turned to face one another. Abram came in close towards me - I zoned everyone else out for that special moment, as if it was just him and I. Our lips finally met together in complete harmony, so perfect was our kiss it seemed like a fairytale, but I could have never dreamed up something this wonderful. As we began to kiss, I knew God now blessed our happy union together. It is hard to explain the wonderful feeling I experienced in that one blissful kiss it was like fireworks going off inside of me, hard to put to words, something that was so unbelievably good. It was like a whole course of electricity flowed through my body, but in a good way. A rainbow of all colors and each color represented a happy feeling from the moment. Then my husband hugged me, I felt so completely good in his powerful, yet gentle arms. We held onto one another -I know I did not want to let go of him, not now, now that he was officially mine.

  Whispering in each other’s ears, “I love you.” “I love you back.” To each other for the very first time as man and wife - it had a familiar, yet different ring to it. We then both formally turned to face everyone, of course, now we had to remember we were not alone. The crowd of people began to cheer for us. I smiled and waved to them all, as did Abram.

  As tradition would so luckily have it, we were whisked off to a temporary room set up for just the two of us. To allow us to spend some time alone and unaccompanied, before we began greeting all our guests. We both could not believe that we had finally gone through with it. We smiled at one another. We sat down on some pillows laid out on the ground. Though to lay down in this particular dress was difficult - it was for looks, it was not meant for such movements. But we carefully arranged ourselves – him lying me down tenderly before joining me. We laid side-by-side. Not able to control ourselves. We began kissing - soon his kissing was moving down my neck, down to my shoulder, it was driving me positively wild. He had never kissed me as passionately as he was then. For some unexpected reason, he abruptly stopped this bombardment of wild-passion. It was a good thing too, another thirty seconds longer of this, and I would not be so confident I would have been able to stop myself. He certainly gave me something to think about. A new exciting feeling was coming over me.

  “Mrs. Balsam, what do you say we go out and celebrate with all our guests?”

  “Well then Mr. Balsam, I’ll go along with that, on just one condition if you were to kiss me just once more, and you tell me how much you love me! And more importantly how beautiful I look.”

  “Ok I can do that! Well then, Mrs. Balsam - I love you enough, to want to spend the rest of my life with you. And I have never imagined that you could be so beautiful!”

  I smiled back at him, feeling a bit naughty after that. I put my right hand on his cheek, “That was very sweet of you to say - that will work; I’ll tell you what, I love you enough to onset to give you my body – my virginity to you tonight, after everyone is gone – as we begin our honeymoon. Something for you to think about as you go out there.” I then kissed him on his hot-moist lips, nibbled on his ear a smidge - that really got his attention, he suddenly cleared his throat, he smiled with a look of shock, he looked like a duck out of water. All women know the look men get, they all do, when they know, or think there about to get sex. And I was just getting an introduction to what Momma had been teaching me about men.

  Trying to gather his strength, he smiled and grabbed onto my hand, and then he happily led us back out to the others. Then we began greeting everyone of our guest, as man and wife. Then as is tradition, we finished drinking the other six cups of wine to complete the ceremony.

  Then thanks to the help of so many of our good friends. Everyone had brought all the food for our potluck meal. We were all poor folks - so we helped one another, when in need.

  We served up roasted chicken, several potato dishes, and many wonderful fresh vegetables, loaves of fresh baked bread, and wine to drink.

  Before everyone began to eat, a religious ritual blessing over the “Challah bread,” seven blessing were recited, which were made in honor of our young blossoming marriage. Given as an honor to seven guests, as their way of having some participation in the ceremony.

  Then as we, all ate our meals, and drank our wine. I looked around everyone looked so happy, and full of joy, it warmed me to see that. I think that is one of the greatest gifts of that day. The best man, bridesmaid, which was my sister gave speeches. In the middle of her speech - hearing her say all those sweet things, about me, and my husband I just had to go hug her. Then we both told each other we loved each other. And not to be left out of the mix, both sets of the parents got up and spoke, as well as a few other people before they concluded.

  After dinner had concluded, the drinking continued, and we all danced to traditional Jewish music, played by people attending the wedding. My Uncle got up and sang he had a beautiful voice. Abram and I had the first of the dances, for the evening. Everyone of our guest got up out of their chairs, and then gathered around the dance floor, and watched on as the two of us formally danced. I was on cloud nine as we danced, I could even almost ignore his two left feet. My poor toes took a terrible beating. I’ll was lucky my toes were never black and blue.

  It would seem my dance card was full up - proceeding after I had my initial dance with my handsome husband. I danced with my Poppa, for a father-daughter dance. Abram danced with my Momma, I should have probably warned her to watch her toes. Then Abram danced with Sissy.

  Finally, it was just him and I took the liberty of whispered in his ear, and “Poppa I can’t believe I am now a married woman, it feels so strange. Poppa oddly, I am extremely scared, and excited at the same time. To think that I am starting a whole new life together with my husband, do you think that I am going to be a good wife?”

  I guess honestly, I was searching to hear Poppa’s words of wisdom, on the matter - I just needed him to reassure me that it was all going to be ok.

  “Oh my daughter, it’s ok to be nervous, everyone usually is when they get married. I know I certainly was. You are now entering a completely new phase in your life. With your union, you have started your own family. You’re now part of your husband’s house, no longer of mine. Of course, it is going to be scary, but can I let you in on a little secret, it’s quite exciting all the same, besides I have complete confidences in you, your mother and I have prepared you quite well, my daughter trust in me you’re as ready as you could be. Remember you are not alone in this, you now have a husband, and you still have your family, we are not going anywhere.” He paused, and looked into my eyes.

  “I will tell you something else- when your sister got married, she was just as nervous as you are right now, maybe even more so. She was so nervous she had thrown up right before the ceremony. Nevertheless, look how she has come into her own, she is quite happy now, the two of them are so much in love, and now they have their own family, with their second child on the way. So was your mother, she cried.” Again, he paused, looking around the room, as if searching for my mother.

  “I am proud of both my daughters. If you ever find yourself so overwhelmed with life, don’t worry I’ll still be here if you need me, just remember it’s just going to be a little different now, but I would like to think in a good way, this is just the next step in your life. Besides, you have yourself quite a husband. You have been chasing after him all these years. I thi
nk you have known that he was always the one. Am I right?”

  “Yes, thank you Poppa, I really needed to hear that. I guess I already knew that, but I just am nervous, and scared of my life changing, from what I know, and comfortable with. I needed to hear from you that it is going to all be all right, Poppa you always have known what to say to me, to make me feel better, thank you, I love you so much Poppa! And yes I always knew he was going to be the one.”

  “I love you too my little Bear; You know you cheered me up as well, I guess I was a little blue too!”

  “You Poppa?”

  “Yes, today I witnessed my baby girl turn into a woman! He gave me a big smiled; I smiled back, and gave him a big hug. Hey, what do you say you go dance with your new father-in-law? You’re not just mine any longer.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  “THE HONEYMOON!”

  The last of the wedding guest - together with our families - at last left, around ten pm. Not that I did not enjoy the whole wedding, but I was ready to start my honeymoon. Before Momma and sister had left, I went once again, to make sure that I knew what I needed to. I must admit I was intrigued by what was going to come to pass, also extremely nervous. Abram kept smiling at me all night. I was not sure if it was that he was excited that we had just married, or we were finally going to consummate our relationship, or perhaps both.

  Before the wedding, my honey had set up us a romantic love nest in the barn, with help from his mother. Set up in the loft, from this vantage point, we were be able to see the sunrise from where the two of us slept. He had told me of his plans.

  As we slowly strolled over to the barn, we held onto each other’s hands. We smiled back at each other, though I remember both of our hands felt slick with sweat. I think we were both quite nervous. I was staring up at all the stars, when he said,” Hana I’ve been waiting for this moment, this day, for so long, I can’t even begin to express to you just how much I want this. I mean us, well you know what couples do on their honeymoons, ever since I saw you at the dance, well you know, it’s been driving me completely crazy. I want you to know how happy you have made me by choosing to become my wife!”

  “Abram honey, it’s ok, I know exactly what you’re trying to say, I feel much the same way.”

  Though in the pit of my stomach I suddenly got very anxious and uneasy knowing what we were now preparing to do next, this too was part of the wedding.

  “Wait Hana, I wouldn’t want you to think that I may have forgotten that it was your 18th birthday, just because we have both been so busy getting married, you were kind enough to have shared this special day with me. I really wanted to give you a birthday present! I just wanted to wait until we were all alone.”

  “Oh you didn’t have to do that, you have done so much for me already - you’re so sweet!”

  He handed me a birthday present, producing it from his inside blazer pocket. I of course excitedly opened it up. It was a brand new journal with my new married named emblazoned on the cover in gold lettering. He was so sweet to have done this.

  “I know how much you like keeping a journal, and I knew that you wouldn’t want to forget a moment of the start to new chapter of our lives together!”

  Our little honeymoon room was all set up in the loft of our barn. The difficult part for me, in a wedding dress, I had to climb a wooden ladder to get up to it - not so easy to achieve in my tight dress, I decided to take off my heels first, since they weren’t meant for climbing. I scooted my dress up past my butt, freeing my legs up to climb. I began climbing up the ladder first. He excitedly was following right behind me. You might say he assisted me up supporting me by caressing the tops of my legs and ensuring that I didn’t slip.

  Oh, I was quite taken aback once I was topside. He had come up earlier and lit the candles. He had obviously had put a lot of thought as well as time in preparing this for me. There were vases of fresh cut roses, placed on each side of the bed, and on a table next to the wall. Candles to light the loft, and the dear sweet man had brought his record player and with a flick of the switch, Friedrich Kaasikik/ Mulgimaa was playing. He had also brought Tino Rossi latest Album. With some of my much loved records. He had used the mattress from his home. Then overlaid sheets, and plenty of blankets making us a very soft bed. Chocolates placed at the side of the bed. A bottle of Champagne, and two wine glasses. And rose pedestals, strewn on the bed.

  As soon as we were both were up in the loft, he whispered, “Hana could I have this dance?”

  He held his hand out - how could I resist?

  “I would love too!”

  We danced in the candle and starlight - visible through the upper open doors. Surprisingly, not once did he step on my toes - I guess he was finally relaxed, and was not so worried his dancing. I realized then as I danced with my husband, I had been holding back this burning passion all night - no really my whole life - I was not able to control myself any longer. Bar one slip, I had been such a good girl up until then. I know I was ready to celebrate my womanhood here and now, to the man I am in love with; I had waited a more than adequate amount of time in our relationship. I could not stop thinking about our kisses earlier. I was extremely horny - a burning feeling inside me, between my legs, in a good way. I desired him to touch me in places he has never before and I wasn’t going to wait any longer – I knew that this was the night.

  Our bodies coupled once more, neither of us holding back our desires for the other. I peered deep into his gorgeous blue eyes, as the candlelight danced across the surface of them. Without saying, another word to one another - like two animals getting ready to mate - we began moving in - him the lion, and I the lioness seeking to mate, drawn together as if a powerfully strong magnets were pulling us. Our lips locked in an electrifying kiss. It was not long after the kissing had started; he brushed my long hair up in his hand. Then, once again begin kissing my neck, and he began tenderly blowing. His other hand reached inside my dress, I stroking the curve of my left breast. I had never been kissed, or touched in the manner before – before - Abram had never actually touched my bare breasts before now. His hand was so warm. All I knew it was driving me absolutely-wild. As I felt his hot breath making contact with my naked skin, on the back of my neck. He squeezed my breast firmly; he squeezed my nipples with his fingers. That really started getting me turned on, as they grew hard.

  I pulled away - I reached over and began removing his blazer, then undid his tie, and then slowly unbuttoned his shirt. I looked up at him smiling playfully. No sooner had the shirt come off, I ran my hands across his firm naked chest - he had amazing chest, abs of steel. He smelled so good - he was wearing the cologne I had bought for him on his birthday. You have to remember how foreign this was for the both of us, since I had never touched his or any other man’s bare chest until now - when we were little kids that did not count. I had lived a fairly- sheltered Jewish old-world, proper life. Therefore, to now be acting on my fantasies seemed sort of weird, but wondrous, and instinctive in a way. It felt as though like a dam of pinned up sexual frustration all busting loose all at once. I began kissing his chest. He just stood there I knew he liked it. He ran his hands through my hair.

  Still, neither of us having said a word what would we possibly say, we rather were communicating though the use of touch. Every touch, every action was understood by the other. Abram stopped me - once again, taking control. I rather liked it, since to be honest, generally, I was the one in control, and I desired to show my softer side. He turned me around, and he began undoing the buttons on the back of my wedding dress. Soon with nothing holding on, it was falling off my shoulders, and to the floor. I thought I should hang the dress up first, but that thought soon fled again. I was not embarrassed about him being able to see much more of me. His hands eased me out of my slip, and then my bra. He then proceeded to get down on his knees and then magically slip off my panties, slowly. If I did not know better, I think he was taking his time, to get a good close-up look down there. He undid my garter belt. With
a very curious look on his face had arrive, the sort of look when a kid is debating on whether or not on to throw that rock at the window. I know he wondered if he should. When I saw that look, I knew what he was contemplating, I smiled, he smiled knowing I was showing him to go ahead and go for it. He obligingly, slowly began running his hands up and down the inside of my thighs, then he touched me like no other.

  I said, rather surprised, “Oh my!”

  I spread my legs a bit, to make it easier on him - maybe I was purposely inspiring him. I was doing my part to encourage him - I just did not want it to end. He latched on, and squeezed my butt checks. I was feeling so beautiful, and sexy, by this sudden chain of events. He abruptly stopped. He stood back up, not able to resist himself any longer. He then began squeezing my breasts, sad to say just like his dancing abilities. I could not blame him, but he had no idea what he was doing. He squeezed them much too hard, so not wanting him to withdraw his hands; I wrapped my hands around his stroked, and whispered ‘gently my love’. I then began demonstrating to him what exactly he should be doing. As nervous as he was, I think deep down he was happy I was - because boy did he smile, not taking his eyes off my breasts the entire time, once I felt comfortable with what he was now doing. I moved away my hands away, and he did it just as I had showed him. His attention to detail worked at getting me aroused, and then some. I could tell he wanted to pleasure me I also knew for years he had dreamed of touching them. I just watched on in excitement, - wondering where this was all going to end up leading, I had a very strong idea. He had a look of intensity as he suddenly could see all my nude body.