War Torn Love

by Londo, Jay M.

  “Well Hana, it sounds great, it gives me something to look forward to, doesn’t it?”

  We tried spending the last of our time together as a couple, because this would be the longest we had ever gone without being near one another, since the very first day we had met. I felt very sad to even think of it. We had not spent a night apart since we married. The time was passing by swiftly.

  On the morning of his departure I said, “Honey I suppose you had to get going or you’re going to miss your train- now get with you, and we will be fine!” Abram gave me an amazing kiss with his soft lips – I remember his stubble rather tickled my nose. Oh his hug, he held me so tightly - I melted into his body, but he held me in a loving sort of way. Truthfully, it felt so good; I did not want him to let me go. My emotions were suddenly coming to the surface. In the end he did let me go, then he held his daughter, he said, “Bye, bye my precious little girl, Daddy will miss you so very much. I will be back in a couple of days my dear, and when I return, I will blow on your tummy just the way you like it. And Hana I will truly miss you - I will call you when I arrive at the hotel.” Then not to linger, he handed over our daughter to me back to me. Picked up the bag I had packed for him. And turned and began walking down the sidewalk towards his dad’s car - his dad was waiting for him, already in the car.

  Then my dear sweet father-in law yelled, “Good bye! Tell everyone bye for us.”

  “I will!” Then just before, my husband was going to get in the car, I yelled to get his attention!

  “Hey Abram, good luck! Hey, knock his socks off! I believe in you, we all will be listening to the fight on the radio.”

  He smiled, “I love you Mrs. Balsam - don’t worry about me I will win this fight! Don’t forget about what we are planning when I get back, because I will hold you to that!”

  “You better!”

  He then got in the car, and waved as they pulled away, it was not long and they rounded the corner, and I lost sight of them altogether.

  I knew it would be at least after eight o’clock before I received his phone call. I made myself some warm milk, listened to the radio while I waited it out. Poppa attempted to keep me company, but by eleven, I had somehow managed to fall asleep on the sofa. Poppa with a heart of gold, turned the radio off, covered me with a blanket, and took his granddaughter upstairs with him, so I would not be disturbed. Just like when I was a little girl. He never liked waking me - putting me to bed, he would always make sure I was comfortable, and let me sleep were I was. I woke to the sound of the phone ringing I looked around. The house was quite - all but one light was off. I rubbed my eyes, and then quickly answered the phone, not wanting to miss his call,

  I answered, “Hello is that you sweetie?”

  “Yes my love, it’s me! We made it. We just made it to the room about twenty minutes ago. I am so sorry to be calling you so late. I did not think it was going to take so long to get here! But I had promised I would call you. I hope I didn’t wake you!”

  “Well…”

  “You fell asleep on the sofa while you waited for me, didn’t you?”

  “Ya!”

  “I don’t blame you -it’s awfully late to be calling!”

  “What time is?”

  “About 12:30 am.”

  “I don’t care, hearing your voice was all worth it! I can go back to sleep afterwards.”

  “Truthfully, Hana I would not been able to get to sleep if I had not talked to you.”

  “That’s sweet, hey you’re tired-go get some sleep, and we can talk tomorrow.”

  “I will try to call you earlier tomorrow, around dinner time, goodnight!”

  While he was gone. I wanted to try to keep myself busy, since I could not seem to sleep while he was away. I tried using a pillow, as a substitute for his bare flesh up next to mine. I tossed and turned, worried, and cried - it did not help I started going around the Jewish community spreading my idea, gathering any used clothing, food, or even money that could be spared. I also searched for any family that would be able, or willing to take in another family. At the tie, we weren’t sure who would need to, but if it came to that, at least we had the room available.

  My little plan of trying to help morphed the Jewish community into coming together as if we were one family. I was so surprised. Several families were taken in - others were provided clothing, food and money, as they planned to migrate elsewhere! Turned out in at least my community, nearly every Jewish family contributed to my cause.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Everything began to unravel”

  My prayers were heard, when my husband returned home victoriously from his fight. Though he looked world weary and a bit banged up. His left eye and the eye socket was all swollen up - nearly swollen shut, and now turning a silhouette of yellows and purples his right side from his chest, down to just above his hip region was now bruised up, very tender to the touch. I could tell this fight physically took out more of him than I think he even had expected it would admire to himself, let alone me. Even though he won he was given quite a beating, but I had been listening to the fight on the radio, so I knew, his opponent took a much more of a thrashing. A broken nose in the third round, they had to cut his right eye to keep fighting. He sustained broken ribs, and was knocked out cold. Nevertheless, I could not believe it; Abram won the fight in the sixth round, in a knockout. He is now number one in all of Europe! His next stop could be America - to take on their best. I know if he does, he could win there as well! As for this fight won a thousand dollars, which was an awful lot of money. We could do a lot of good with it!

  The house was now complete, and we were now preparing to move into our new home. I wanted to remember the date we moved in, I had a feeling I would never forget it. On September 1 1939 – a couple of weeks before our big harvest. This date would become quite memorable to not just me but the entire world. On September 1st 1939 World War Two broke out.

  I was in high spirits that morning though - it was finally happening, but I was also very, very sad -I was moving out of the only house I had ever known. I had lived in the very same room my entire life = so many wonderful memories were here for me. I was especially going to miss out not having my parents around all the time, I loved them both so. I knew I was not moving very far away from home, but still it was a monumental transformation - that was going to take a while for me to get used to. It was not just about me I worried about my parents.

  We recruited some help for the big move – dear sweet Hersz – Marym’s husband and Abram’s cousin – to help with unloading the wagon.

  His parents and my parents donated a few pieces of furniture to us. Meanwhile while our two burly men were unloading the wagon, Marym, the kids, and I were inside unpacking in the kitchen - my own kitchen in a completely unexpected gesture, my husband bought me a brand-new electric stove.

  The joyous outcome of the move, the lack of the city noises were now obvious - the utter silences that comes from being on the farm washed over us. It would not last long - at the time, I would not know. Our peace was forever broken when we all heard it that ungodly honking coming from a car horn - the deliverer of darkness.

  A huge plume of dry dust now billowing up behind the rapidly speeding car, driving much too fast for our road. I thought what this could mean, I am sure it is not good.

  Why was this person driving so fast? The car drew close, and pulled up in front of our house. Curiosity got the best of all of us. We all ran outside to see what was taking place - what all the commotion was all about, and who it was that surely came here to deliver-news!

  It was my father-in-law and considering it was him, it worried me. I glanced over at Abram - he suddenly looks white as a ghost - I had never seen him looking so apprehensive, like perhaps something may have happened to his dear mother. A fear gripped my stomach, as. He ran over to his father, “Dad what is it? What is wrong? Did something happen to Momma?”

  “No, son your mother is fine! No, we had the radio playing at work
when it just came over the radio, it’s awful everyone please listen! Germany had just invaded our beloved Poland! We are now at war with Germany!”

  The storm clouds that the Nazis were casting on Europe had surely arrived at our own doorsteps bring with them the fears and the atrocities I had been hearing about. I knew what was happening to the Jews of other lands invaded by Germany, as well as their own Jews had now arriving at our own counties borders. Even then, I knew we’d receive the same treatment if they were not stopped. I dropped to my knees in complete shock. I ended up throwing up. I just could not believe it - it seemed like it was all a nightmare. One I hoped someone would wake me up from. What was supposed to be one of the best days of my life was now turning out to be the most horrible and I was powerless to stop it. Our homeland was being overrun by what proved to be the scourge of humanity. I began to weep in loud, wrenching sobs and it was becoming difficult to breathe. The feeling I had started experiencing before I was pregnant washed all over me again – the premonition gripping me as it arrived. I felt like a ragdoll, shook in the jaws of a massive mastiff. And even looking back now, I knew things were going too far worse. How could I know how right I would be?

  I was feeling even worse knowing I was right all along. I was trembling by this news. Nevertheless, in this time it was reality, not just a feeling. I knew at that moment we were all in peril I dreamed of even worse things to come, though I would not repeat what I had seen in my dreams, not even to my husband, now that I know some of what I had already seen had materialized before my eyes. I somehow knew if the Polish Army was not able to bring to a halt to their advance, then surely all of Poland’s could be in real trouble I suddenly felt so helpless -I ran to my husband’s powerful arms, hoping he could somehow make me feel better. I needed him to hold onto me tightly. I wanted his comfort most at that moment, searching for what exactly I was not sure - I had never been so scared, or lived through anything this awful like this before. I grew up about stories of war and revolution from my parents. Stories they firsthand had to experience. I did not want us to had to live through that, this maybe prove to be even much worst.

  We all had to have the most up-to-date of information on the attack. The boys quickly unloaded the radio and hooked it up in the living room. We all sat down on the bare floor, having yet to receive delivery on our couch or other items – it was coming in the next few days. And I knew, I’d never see it. We held onto one another trying to find comfort - I think we all needed each other’s love. We also turned to our God, and prayed, as we listened to the latest reports. We listened well into the night. Long past all the children going to bed. People started joining us in ones and twos, including Abram’s mother and my parents.

  Suddenly, moving into this house had absolutely no meaning whatsoever - I feared more for the safety of my family, and my people, and my country. I knew that I probably was never going to live here.

  Hersz was such a kind soul - he tried his best to calm his wife and I, “You ladies have to understand how grand the Polish army is. Remember I had once served in the army! Our boys will surely defeat them.”

  A short-time later I overheard Hersz talking with Abram and his uncle – Abram’s dad - about signing up and taking arms to fight the Germans and then I glimpsed that look in my husband’s eyes - the gears working in his head, turning around, like an idea was coming to him. I probably knew him better than I probably knew anyone else. That being said, I also knew that if he did decide to take up arms, then there would be nothing I could do or say that would possibly convince him to do otherwise - he was quite stubborn, plus he really loved his country, loyal to the last.

  Over shots of vodka the men were drinking, Hersz shouted out, “Our boys will fight them Nazis all the way back to Berlin!” I would have had a drink or two to calm my nerves if I were not still breastfeeding.

  I guess having what Hersz said was to some extent reassuring to all of us - I believe we were all trying to get our heads around this war – one that we’d never expected, but had come as quite the shock at the same time. Deep down I knew we were all in danger, our army would prove to be not enough. The German army was superior to all the armies of Europe and at that point in time, they were bigger force, and better trained, better-equipped, superior weapons, and a mad man was ruling them. How could our army possibly match up against that? It seemed as if he would take over the world.

  We quickly decided for now it would be safest staying put right at the farm - away from the cities and towns. The cities were more likely to receive the attention and presence of soldiers from either side, maybe even fighting. We were-situated off the beaten path, about three miles out of town. We feared for the safety of all our families, and extended families. Hersz needing to stay busy, he took it upon himself, and began tracking down and calling our missing family members. Over the rest of the evening, everyone began slowly showing up with as much of their belongings as they were able to carry with them and bringing as much food as feasible. The women of the family gathered; prepared places for everyone to sleep, organized the food, and cooking as we could. Meanwhile, the men went off away from the women and children to the barn to discuss what we were going to do - I am sure they started drinking and smoking their cigars. I knew they were as worried as much as the women were where, but they tried being strong around us - they needed to blow off a little steam first, I could understand that.

  When Abram had gone away with the other men, I realized just how much I need him and I also realized I would not be able to get through all this without him. He had always been there for, me; I drew from him his strength. I just hoped he thought the same of me.

  Upon the conclusion of their meeting, they came and informed us that they wanted to see if the Polish military could stop the Germans, before we all overreacted, since all our lives were so rooted here in this community, none of us wanted to leave our homes and businesses behind. After all, we hoped this could be over in next to no time at all. Therefore, we were going to give it two days. Then if things were - God forbid - going badly on the behalf of our military, the elders agreed we would all leave Poland. We were to travel together and had to leave almost everything behind, but we would still have each other. There was safety in numbers.

  While they were out in the barn, they studied the map, and realized there were only two potential safe routes out of Poland. One route travel was to go east to Russia, which really was not a viable option, since the state of affairs with Stalin, and the communist was not much better than the Nazis. So that left only one option, it was agreed that we would head south through Slovakia, and continue heading south. We would give ourselves a safe buffer zone between the Germans and our travel path.

  I do not think that any of us could sleep that night, under the circumstances. We all gathered on the front porch it was a warm evening. We looked up at the star filled sky; I had to calm my nerves - Looking up at the stars somehow calmed me, seeing God’s work painted across the night sky. I always felt so small. I reluctantly ended up sipping a few drinks as I needed to relax - I was a complete wreck. We spent the next day in a state of anxious, jangled fear. We were glued to the radio, listening for the latest news. We tried to keep the children calm through all of it we did our best not to worry them more than we had too – my daughter and my nieces were definitely too young to understand the gravity of the situation. The men all kept their guns close by their side - just in case we needed to defend ourselves. We also took watch for any out of the ordinary behavior in the land surrounding the farmhouse.

  By September 2nd, it was already becoming clear it was not going so well for our army – it was slowly starting to withdraw and retrench, gradually heading east, but all was not lost. It was announced that Britain and France had worded a probable war declaration against Germany for their unwarranted attack on Poland! We were jubilant upon hearing this wonderful news - we thought finally Germany’s attack would be stopped from gobbling up even more of Europe. It was decided that because of
this, we would be staying put here for now. At least we all had one another to console each other.

  The waiting for me and I am sure the others - was torturous. With nothing to really do, mixed in with the atrocious thoughts of what could happen on the horizon if they were not halted was making it much worst, we were all unsettled and scared.

  By September 4th, we could slightly hear the rumbling of fighting, far off in the distance. The war had already had traveled along ways, for us to hear its rumble. At first, we thought it sounded like a good lightning storm. And yet, still the French or English had yet to declare war on the Germans, what they were possibly waiting for I could not guess. Did not they realize there were people that were suffering? According to the radio, there should have been a declaration of war coming any day. I knew though, as I’d overheard some of the men, that the prevailing feel was that the longer they waited, the less chance we all had. I kept my pessimistic, depressing thoughts to myself I focused on my chores. I had not managed more than a couple of hours of sleep in three nights, ever since the war had broken out. The men in our family decided with the rapidly developing conflict approaching where we were, it was no longer safe to continue waiting it out.