War Torn Love

by Londo, Jay M.

  A couple of minutes afterward, Abram came over and joined us. I smiled as he drew near, letting him know just how proud I was of him.

  No sooner had he joined me - the boxcars unloaded now – we moved under the duress of machine guns. There were Jews picked out of the line, to climb back up into the cars. They were made to throw the dead left behind in the cars, those that did not make it on the journey. The poor lifeless bodies were flung out, after they were swung a couple of times before releasing. The bodies made a hollow sickening sound as they landed on the ground below. Then two others came along with a cart, and began loading the bodies up -piling them on top of one another. I tried shutting my eyes but it was too late the image was seared in my mind as a permanent memory.

  We both glanced around, looking for clues, then I spotted a sign that read, "Tuliszkov, Tuliszkow!!!. Isn’t that kind of strange Abram don’t you think, why in the world would they had brought us so far to the north in the country? At least were still in our beloved Poland! Wouldn’t you have thought they would have brought us maybe to Warsaw? What was their magnificent plan with us anyways? Why here of all places?”

  The ground beneath my feet was quite muddy a sticky, clay sort of mud, mixed in with all the melting snow left over from the harsh winter. It caked onto the bottom of my shoes. Sloshing our way over to a nearby wooden fence, we were once again being lined up, and then we began subsequently following the soldiers into city. It was apparent clear there was a whole lot of Jews here. As my family and I walked in through the heart of city, in one massive line, we could all smell the scent of freshly baked bread; my mouth watered just thinking about it. The smell lingered low thanks to the cold weather. I think this was by no accident. Yet, there was not a single person at the bread stand. We were ordered to walk no more than two feet from the bread - being caught stealing meant a death sentence. As we marched through town, transporting what little of our personal belonging we had left in this world, our heads held low, ashamed at what had happened to us.

  The Christian Poles that were lining the sidewalks just watched us. Acting as though they did not suddenly mind knowing we had previously lost everything we had, except family, my faith, and the affection of loved ones. Watching as we passed by, they said absolutely nothing too us, it puzzled me. There was a thick smattering of soldiers all you had to do is look around to spot them. The Poles were our fellow citizens, but they had abandoned us, out of fear of reprisal. I know how that they feared they could all be next. Up ahead there was labor going on. Wooden scaffolds weighed down with working men, set up next to a huge brick wall being built in the heart of this city, dividing the city it was abnormal. The brick wall from the look of it looked over 14 feet in height. Jews were constructing the walls. Several men were working hard on constructing some kind of barricade - it was soon clear that the Jewish residents of the Ghetto were constructing their own cage. German soldiers were guarding them.

  We were lead to the gap in the immense wall where we walked in - two wooden gates, and armed guards sat at the entrance, watching us pass. We headed on through the gates; I quickly looked back, fearing that I would no longer glimpse normal life.

  Once on the opposite side of the wall, things looked night and day different. We were ordered to halt once about a hundred yards in. The soldiers that had been escorting all of us from the train station where I guess left us, not caring what happened to us next.

  We noticed that all the Jews that had not just arrived were wearing a “star of David” armband -men, women, and children all wearing them.

  The soldiers halted, and turned, one that had spoke to us earlier. “You Jews will be assigned on where to go next by these Jews.” He had said this in a very derogatory manner, he then spit in dear Poppa’s face, who had done nothing to deserve such harsh treatment. Poppa just stood there, holding his ground. Abram - unable to contain himself - stepped forward. That same soldier came forward, then walking over to Abram; I grew extremely worried at this point, what Abram would do, if he would let his temper get the best of him or not.

  The soldier gave him the once over. “I knew one of you had some stones to you! Hey Jew you had a problem with me, or you some kind of a tough guy? Because I spit in that Jew over there face? Did you want to say something to me; do you had a problem with me? Do you perhaps want to strike me? I will tell you what, if you want, then please do.”

  “No Sir!” Abram responded.

  Then it looked like the soldier bought it. Then out of nowhere, I realized I was completely wrong he turned and then slapped Abram extremely hard across this face.

  Abram did not even flinch he was trained for such a thing. All those years of training had paid off. I prayed to God that he would hold his cool, and not attempt to hit the soldier. He did, he just stared forward at the German soldier that was barking him, trying not to stare into his face. I knew he was holding his temper in for me, I was grateful for that. I just hated seeing him going through all this was breaking my heart, being berated and not able to do anything about it. This only seemed to anger this young soldier more. The fact that he was not getting worked up seemed to fuel his rage more. He wanted satisfaction - he felt he was not going to get a filthy Jew get the best over him. He certainly did not desire want to look weak in front of his comrades. Doing the only thing that he could think of, the very first thing that crossed his mind, he swung the butte of his gun swiftly, burying it deep into my husband’s gut. Still Abram did not budge in the slightest. He stood rigid and stared forward. I think the soldier realized my dear sweet husband would not give him the satisfaction he sought, so he finally decided to move on, taking his attention off of Abram. “Thank God!”

  The combatant walked away, I reached over for Abram and seized his glorious hand - I wanted him to know I do not know exactly what, perhaps that I appreciated him, loved him, of course, and mostly thanks for holding in his anger. He gave my hand a quick little love squeeze. One we always do to one another playfully, I understood. The both of us had a way of communicating without having to say a words. We understood one another quite well.

  Left to ourselves in the Ghetto, completely abandoned, they were laughing as they left. We noticed as we walked in through the gates. That there was a sign above the gates that read bold lettering, no mistaking where we were. The sign had summed it all up, "Welcome to Tuliszkow Ghetto - home to the Jewish community"

  Just seeing that, sign felt as if I was now heading into some kind of penitentiary. The fact was quite clear - I knew exactly what that sign signaled - I had been facing this all my life. This wall was meant to keep the Jews within a small, confined and easily managed area - away, alienated from the non-Jewish population. Much easier for them to have us in places like this, rather than in the countryside, were they then just may not be able to contain us. What were they expecting - us to live out the rest of our natural lives out in the Ghetto, giving up everything we had all worked so hard for?

  As t he soldiers lefts, so much was going through my mind. I held firmly onto my husband’s hand. I knew as long as I had my loving husband at my side - I could get through it, and I knew that I was not alone.

  A small group of people mainly consisting of women - walked over to us. Turns out they were I guess you would say our welcoming committees, they joined up with us, greeted us. It was nice to finally see a welcoming face, hear a welcoming voice. The first we had had in days. They were Jews that were living here in this Ghetto as well - this as it turns out is their assigned job. It would seem that even here the adult females were expected to work at an assigned job.

  “Please everyone I know you our all wondering what is going on, but first this is quite important, first for all your safety we had to have you to put on these arm-bands, as they’re handed to you. Please remember to wear them at all times when out in public – they are a condition of living here. - Caught without it, the Germans will likely severally punish you. “The woman paused, adjusting hers. There was a sorrowful look on her face, though
her voice was full of brightness. But it was brittle – you could tell just by watching, that they were saying this to make it easier on us, and protect us.

  “The next thing we need to get you to your assigned living quarters. Therefore, to achieve this if you would please all precede separate up, into families units. Then follow your greeter. Your greeter will be able to answer at least some of your questions.”

  Looking around, there were more than a few families, beside my own. Once my family had a greeter, we then followed the young woman as we were going to shown were we were going to be now staying. I knew it could not have been nearly as good as the farm we once had, all now nothing more than a pipe dream. I did not like this – not because I’d never lived in a city, but because though it looked organized and reasonable, I got the feeling that it was just a façade. A sham. I couldn’t shake the feeling that the veneer wasn’t very thick either, and that if I scratched, or fought, it would all come down, revealing something unthinkable.

  We walked about a quarter mile through narrow, winding city streets. That had been turned into a makeshift prison. The many streets completely devoid of cars, there was no need, as I could see it there was nowhere we could possibly drive. Walking to the apartment building, I could not help becoming conscious of all the people that were out about. They walked like they did in the big city, but there was not exactly putting on the same kind of air I felt when I was in Warsaw. People scarcely looked up from whatever it was they were doing as we walked by. Oh my gosh! There were what I believed to be a dead man just laying in the gutter, and no one was doing anything about it. This sent chills down my spine, as the realization was setting in. Maybe this was going to be worse than a prison, I felt like we were all in a pit of despair. All the sadness of everyone's eyes. They all look like they had lost such a great deal, maybe the people around me could see nothing to look forward to, and now had simply given up, like a beaten dog, that had been trampled much too much, or they could not see a possibility of how things could get any better from here. They just went about their days, and do what was told of them.

  Then wondered did I give the impression of looking like they did. Had the Germans successfully broke my will as well? Had I let them get to me that much? I didn’t know, but I could see the utter transformation that had occurred in my own family dynamics.

  Now it was just our family. The others families had broken off from us. For the first time in all these many months. We were being led to a six-story building directly up ahead.

  An older woman all dressed in her finest clothes, which had started tattering, looked towards me. She had a look of being lost, or perhaps confused, she had just come up to me, put her hand gently on my shoulder, she said, “Excuse me miss have you seen my husband? If you see him, you be sure to let me know, won’t you?”

  I looked at her, showing compassion - even though I figured her husband had passed on.

  “I will Ma’ am, I promise!”

  Then she began walking on - I turned and watched as she asked another person the exact same thing. I felt bad for her. But, there was nothing I could do for her. Once we had gone through the front lobby of the building we would be staying, it was not much to look at, a rundown looking building, un-kept, unclean. We than had to walk up four flight of stairs, before we finally arrived, and stopped on the fourth floor, thankfully for us we were not heading to the six floor. We were all frail at this point had not eaten in at least three days, or had even a drop of water. Poppa being the worst. He was breathing hard, but he did not complain.

  The young woman, in a soft timid sort of voice, spoke up, "Folks, it just this way! Just down the hall."

  We walked down a long poorly lit, narrow hallway - the tile flooring was dirty, most of the grout was missing and as cracked tiles. We were not alone as we walked down the hall; there were a couple of younger children playing in the hall at the time, two little boys and an even younger little girl. I glanced down at them as there were sitting down playing a game, I introduced myself, “Hello My name is Hana, and this is my family, do you live on this floor?”

  One of the two boys, the youngest, was missing three of his front teeth. He pointed down the hall.

  “Hello there!” The little girl responded, smiling, glade to see us, it seemed they were alone as both their parents were off working.

  We walked right on by them until we finally came to a dark colored door, apartment number #443, three doors down to the right from the stairs.

  The young woman then began driving through her pile of keys, attempting to find the right key for the door. Taking at least two minutes, and a hundred keys to locate the correct on fitting the lock.

  “Now listen up folks, always lock the door when leaving, people are hungry here, and they would not think twice at coming in and stealing your food!”

  Able to finally hit upon the right key for the door lock. She unlocked the door, and opened it up. The rusty hinges creaked as the door opened. She walked in first, making sure it was clear, making sure she had gotten the right apartment. Then she began a faux - ostentatious tour of our new apartment, or what I would say what little apartment there was of it. The first thing about the place that caught my attention was the stale, musty air. Not much to look at it was a rundown, and needed a proper cleaning to be fit for humans. As we walked in, there was a rat that ran across the floor.

  My family and I were shown the two-bedroom house; each bedroom had a queen size bed, and a chair, and a small dresser, but not room for much more. Out in the main room, that included a small kitchen, dining room, and a living room. There was a well-used dining room table, a vase with dried up flowers. The table had with four chairs placed around it. One of the chairs had a broken leg. In the living room, there were two no so comfortable sitting chairs a coffee table - and a fireplace with a mantle. In the small kitchen, there was a small wood stove, a sink with what looked like hot water! I did not think I would miss it so much, actual hot water! As well as a small icebox, of course no ice. A few-cupboard situated, above the counter. Then there was also a cast iron bathtub, and a clothesline. It was clear whoever’s apartment this was must have left in a hurry, seeing most of their personal possessions seemed to be left behind, complete dish sets, probably quite old, and blankets, furniture, and some pictures, and other assorted knick-knacks. The question I had was why had they left in such a hurry? Was it when the Germans had invaded? Spotting all the belongings, I thought about all that we had sacrificed ourselves, to get to this point, what we had to leave behind, things that had been handed down several generations, to end up here. I had a pretty-good idea how excruciating that must had been on this family, wondering where they ever ended up.

  Marym asked the young woman, “Excuse me miss, where exactly is the bathroom situated?”

  “Well the bathroom not located in the apartment, but rather it was situated down at the end of the hall we came in on, communal shared with five other apartments, all the apartment on this floor.”

  Marym and I both looked at one another, not so sure about this place! Then she commented, “With the exemption of a bathtub, which was in the kitchen. Ok this was something I was not use too. The bathroom not located in the apartment.”

  This young woman was very withdrawn - she did not bother commenting on such manners. She also never voluntarily divulged her own name to us. She was quite pretty in fact, very kind eyes, she handed over Poppa the key to the front door. At the same time the woman handed Poppa a map with directions were things were situated throughout the Ghetto, and on the other side of the paper, exactly what was expected of every – single resident.

  She looked much like us, in that her clothing was a bit tattered, her hair was on the neglected side, and she was a slight bit on the light side, it was clear she had barely been eating. Quite pale, appeared to be unhappy - this was clear, just by observing her facial expressions, and body mannerisms. I could see it in her face. Her lonely eyes were dark and puffy, from I am sure lack of sleep, and
I think she did a good deal of crying!

  She half fact smiled, as she was preparing to head off, "Well I'm sorry it's not more. This is the best we could do for you folks. We had many more families showing up all the time, they just keep coming, and coming. Before long I am afraid, we will not had any more housing available to go around. Then I do not know what we shall do. It was lovely meeting you folks! I am sure you had not eaten in a spell. When we are done here, you probably should head to the commissary to hopefully have a chance to take delivery of your family’s food rations - that is if they had arrived, and are available! It a bit hit and miss. Go as soon as you can, - you do not dare wait…there will be a huge line. Check all so the community boards for the availability of jobs, those that work get better rations and they will be permit you to maintain your housing. If you do not work, there will be no food rations given to the family. There are very strict rules here. With no exceptions, strictly enforced"