“Master!” she wailed again and then went rigid in his arms as the pleasure coursed through her, arching her back and curling her toes, electrocuting her with undeniable desire.
At last she collapsed, panting in his arms.
“God…oh, God…” Her voice was hoarse in her own ears. She felt exhausted—completely spent and her body went as limp as a rag doll in his muscular arms.
“Elaina,” he murmured in her ear. “Are you all right?”
“Fine, I just…” She shook her head, too tired and emotionally stripped bare to lie. “I’ve just never come that hard before. It was amazing.”
“You’re amazing—so fucking gorgeous when you come,” he growled softly. “I’ve never seen a sight so beautiful. But was it enough? Are you satisfied?”
“I think so. For now. Uh…” She looked down between her legs where his long fingers were still buried in her pussy. “Terex…”
“Sorry.” He withdrew slowly and Elaina crawled off his lap. She wouldn’t have minded staying put but it seemed a little awkward now that the sharp edge had been taken off her desire.
“Um…” Elaina shifted uncomfortably. “You want me to, uh, get you a washcloth or…” She gestured at his right hand where his fingers were still shiny with her juices.
“No need.” Keeping his eyes locked with hers, Terex slipped his fingers into his mouth and sucked them clean, lapping away her honey with apparent relish, as though it was the best thing he’d tasted in ages.
“Oh…” The sight made Elaina’s pussy clench all over again for some reason. “You…you don’t have to do that,” she whispered.
“I know. I want to do it,” he murmured softly. “Gods, you taste as good as I thought you would.”
The bulge at his crotch looked painfully erect. He must be hurting, Elaina realized. Crawling forward on the bed, she reached for him but Terex drew away.
“What’s wrong?” She looked up at him, feeling hurt. “I just wanted to help you, Master.”
He sighed. “You can stop calling me that now. And we have to stop ‘helping’ each other or we’ll never get anything done.”
“All right.” Elaina shivered, already missing the warmth of his arms. “Then I need to find something to wear. I’m cold.”
“I’d like to dress for sleep as well. I think some clothing was left for us in the wardrobe—come on.”
Chapter Seventeen
The wardrobe was a big, free-standing piece of furniture lined with some fragrant wood that smelled like a cross between cedar and pine to Elaina. But though it smelled amazing, it didn’t contain any night clothes for her. There was a set of silky black pajamas for Terex that had magnetic closures instead of buttons, and plenty of clothing for both of them to wear during the day at court, but nothing for her to wear to bed.
“I guess I’m supposed to sleep naked?” Elaina frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. Though she was less self-conscious about the big Kindred seeing her without clothes now, it was still uncomfortable to walk around in the nude.
“Here.” Terex handed her the long sleeved, silky black sleep top which was part of his pajama set. “You wear the top, I’ll wear the bottoms.”
“Thank you.” Elaina pulled it on gratefully and yawned. “God, it’s been a long day.”
“Why don’t we go back to bed and plan what to do tomorrow before we fall asleep?” Terex asked, as he finished pulling on the sleep trousers.
“Good…” She yawned again. “Good idea.”
“Come on then.” Swinging her up into his arms unexpectedly, he carried her towards the bed.
“Hey—you don’t have to do that!” Elaina was taken off guard but she didn’t really mind. It was nice being held by him, feeling his big warm body against hers.
“Maybe I want to. Maybe I like taking care of you.” He gave her a small smile and kissed her forehead gently before laying her down on the bed.
“I kind of like it too,” she admitted, feeling her heart flutter. “And I want to thank you for, uh, helping me out just now,” she added as she crawled under the elaborate gold bedspread and between the silky sheets beneath.
“It was necessary,” Terex said seriously, dimming the lights and joining her between the sheets. “It’s difficult to concentrate on anything else when you’re being constantly tormented and distracted by desire.”
The way he said it made Elaina remember his words on the Kindred Mother Ship when he’d been protesting that she shouldn’t come with him. “Just having you near me is a distraction. The sight of you…the warmth radiating from your skin…” he’d growled. Was it possible this was what he’d meant—that he was so attracted to her sexually he could barely concentrate on his mission?
But I’m nobody, she protested to herself. Why would a big, muscular warrior find her so incredibly attractive he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to do his job right? Still, Kate had told her back on the Mother Ship that Terex was afraid he might not be able to control his sexual urges around her and he himself had spoken of being “attuned” to her. So maybe…
“Do I distract you…like that?” she heard herself saying. “I mean, uh, sexually? Is that the reason you didn’t want me coming with you in the first place?”
Terex took a deep breath.
“Yes,” he admitted, softly, turning toward her. He propped himself up on one arm and looked down at Elaina, who was lying on her side, her head on an elaborate gold pillow. “I’ve been dead—sexually dead for the past ten cycles ever since my mate, Solange, passed over to be with the Goddess. And then you came along and my body came alive again. I’m sorry.” He shook his head helplessly. “I can’t help it.”
“Any more than I could help being affected by that damn aphrodisiac,” Elaina murmured. “It’s all right, Terex. I find it kind of, uh, flattering, actually. I mean, you’re this big, strong, powerful warrior and I’m just a nobody from Earth.”
“Don’t speak so of yourself,” he said fiercely. “You’re beautiful, Elaina. And intelligent and wise and…Gods. I should stop.”
“Probably.” But she didn’t really want him to. She wanted to keep him talking. Now that they were in bed and comfortable together, she seemed to be waking up. “Tell me about the Master thing,” she said, looking up at him. “I mean, tell me why you didn’t want me calling you that in private?”
He frowned. “It is…a shameful part of my past. One I have not told to anyone.”
“I understand if you don’t want to talk about it,” Elaina said quietly. “But I wish you would. I want to get to know you better. And, well…” She shifted. “I was pretty open with you just now. I mean, I’ve never…never done anything like that with a guy before. I mean, I’ve never let one—had one—make me come.”
“No?” He looked surprised. “Then how did you…”
“I always just took care of myself.” Elaina shrugged. “It was easier that way. Partly because my ex wouldn’t have been remotely interested in even trying to make me come that way and partly because, well, it’s difficult to let yourself be so vulnerable.”
“I see.” Terex nodded. “And you wish me to repay the favor by telling you of my shameful past?”
“I want to get to know you,” Elaina repeated. “That’s all. I think we’re in a pretty precarious situation here. The better we know each other, the greater the chance we’ll get out of it alive.”
“True.” He sighed. “All right, I’ll tell you. But I hope…hope it won’t change the way you see me.”
“What I see is a big, strong, handsome guy who lost his wife and then had a lot of other bad things happen to him,” Elaina said honestly. “But despite all that, you’re still committed to doing the right thing. I think that’s admirable.”
“Thank you. That’s…a very generous assessment. All right…I’ll tell you as best I can.”
“Thank you.” Elaina readjusted her pillow and looked at him expectantly, ready to listen.
* * * * *
Terex sig
hed and looked away. Gods, he couldn’t believe he was going to do this—couldn’t believe he was actually going to tell her about his past. But there was something about the little Earth female that drew him, that made him want to trust her even with his darkest secrets.
“It all started with my mate…with Solange,” he said in a low voice. “She was a scholar who studied antiquities—specifically the sexual proclivities of past societies.”
“A sexual historian?” Elaina sounded delighted. “What an interesting job! Go on…”
“She…” Terex took a deep breath. “She became interested in the Nixians.”
“These people here?” Elaina made a motion, indicating the sleeping palace around them.
“Yes.” He nodded. “She wanted to know what was so bad about them that the ancient Kindred High Council tried to forbid a trade with them.”
“It didn’t work though, did it? The Lost Kindred traded with them anyway.”
“To their detriment,” Terex said softly. “I can see a few traces of some Kindred blood in them—the size of the males, for instance. But other than that…” He shook his head. “I have never seen a trade go so abysmally wrong—and never heard of a trade partner who worked so hard to completely eradicate any trace of the Kindred people from their own bloodlines.”
“That was because of Krumf, though—right? Krumf the First, I mean.” She shivered. “What a horrible man!”
“He is, and his descendant is not much better,” Terex said grimly. “But as I was saying, my mate—my wife—grew interested in the sexual practices of the Nix.”
“So…were they always this bad?” Elaina asked him. “I mean, treating their women like slaves, not letting them speak in public, keeping them in bondage…”
“No.” Terex shook his head. “No, they were never as bad as this—at least, not from the documents and records Solange was studying. They mostly…” He cleared his throat. “Mostly limited their sexual practices to the bedroom.”
“So everything they’re doing now is new? Or at least, new to them?”
“I think it must have started when they settled on this planet,” Terex said. “According to the articles I read—which I believe were somewhat censored—they had a fairly normal society with equality between males and females until the Need began to sweep through their female population.”
“Yeah, it’s pretty hard to respect someone who’s begging to be sexually ‘serviced’ all the time,” Elaina said dryly and he wondered if she was remembering the way she’d begged him to make her come.
“I hope you don’t feel that I respect you less after…” Terex cleared his throat. “After helping you.”
“No…” Elaina sounded thoughtful. “No, I don’t believe you do. But it takes a certain kind of guy to respect a woman even after…doing what we did. Let alone some of the more, uh, extreme things they have going on around here.”
“It was the extreme things, as you put it, that my Solange was interested in,” Terex admitted in a low voice. “She wanted to try bondage…and punishment.”
“So she was interested in BDSM?” To his relief, Elaina didn’t sound shocked or appalled.
“Yes.” Terex nodded. “But she didn’t just want to study it—she wanted to practice it. And…she wanted me to practice it with her.”
“So what’s so terrible about that?” In the dim room, Elaina looked mystified. “What did you do—tie her up? Make her call you Master? Is that why you didn’t like it when I called you that?”
“That was all part of it,” Terex admitted in a low voice. “But she also wanted me to…to strike her.”
“Strike her where? You mean spank her?” Elaina quirked an eyebrow at him but she still didn’t sound upset.
“Yes.” Terex looked down. “Not just with my hand, though. She had me use other implements—riding crops…a cane. She…grew to crave the pain and the domination. And I…” He took a deep breath. “Goddess help me, I grew to crave it too.”
“Terex…” Elaina’s soft little hand was on his face, urging him to look up at her. Finally he did. To his relief, he still didn’t see any condemnation in her eyes.
“Do you begin to see?” he asked in a low, hoarse voice.
“So you were in a kinky relationship,” she said, shrugging. “So what? Lots of people are.”
“Maybe Earth people—not Kindred.” Terex shook his head. “We do play at dominance sometimes—we have something called The Law of Conduct which permits a Kindred Warrior to keep his bride in line and call her into account if she does something dangerous that might harm herself or others. But to be honest, that’s hardly ever used and if it is, it’s mostly a game.”
“A sex game,” Elaina guessed and he nodded.
“Yes. Solange always liked to play that way—to tease me into ‘taking her in hand.’ But after she became interested in the Nix and Nixian sexual practices, she wanted much more from me. She wanted me to tie her down…to beat her with a cane or crop if she ‘misbehaved’…to choke her as we made love.”
“Erotic asphyxiation,” Elaina murmured. “I mean, I think that’s what it’s called—the, uh, choking thing.”
“She wanted me to assert my dominance over her in every way,” Terex said in a low voice. “And Goddess help me, I did it.”
“And…you felt bad about that?” Elaina asked.
“No. I felt bad about liking it.” He scrubbed a hand over his face roughly. “On the outside, we appeared normal. But once we crossed the threshold into our suite, we had our own private fantasy world.” The words were coming faster now—he couldn’t seem to stop them. “Solange wanted me to treat her like a slave—like a sexual toy. So I did. I did what no other Kindred male would even consider doing—I subjugated and dominated and hurt her for my own pleasure. And I enjoyed it.”
“Oh, honey…” Elaina sounded distressed.
“I knew when she got sick,” Terex went on, his voice cold and flat now. “I knew it was my fault. That I was losing her because of the way I’d treated her.”
“But…you said she wanted to be treated that way. And it’s just kinky sex—not a murder or anything,” Elaina exclaimed.
“We don’t see it like that,” Terex said. “The Kindred believe in reverencing and protecting females at all costs. Some of the things I did to Solange…the pain I inflicted on her…” He shook his head. “Any priestess in the Sacred Grove would have condemned me—as I condemned myself. And when Solange died, I knew the truth—that it was my fault. That it was a punishment on me for the way that I treated her.”
“Oh, Terex, no! I don’t believe that! And I can’t believe you think it’s true.” She put her small hands on his shoulders and brought him to her.
Before he knew it, Terex had his face pressed to the soft, warm mounds of her breasts. He drew her to him, wrapping his arms around her waist and bringing her close. Though he knew well he deserved no such comfort, it was such a relief that she didn’t hate him after what he’d told her. Didn’t hate him the way he hated himself for all the things he’d done.
“It’s all right.” Elaina’s small, cool fingers carded through his hair. “You have to stop blaming yourself for the past. The things you did might be kinky but they weren’t wrong—not if Solange wanted them too.”
“I’ve tried to tell myself that.” His voice sounded bleak in his own ears. “But I can’t help the guilt I feel. And when we came here and I saw the way the females are being treated…saw the way I am supposed to treat you…”
He couldn’t go on. There was a hard knot of ice in his chest that refused to dissolve. He felt the guilt all over again—the knowledge that he was doing wrong and the inability to stop himself from committing the exact same sins tomorrow that he had committed today.
“The perversion—the old perversion!” Elaina exclaimed suddenly, startling him.
“What?” He pulled away from her comforting touch, frowning.
“The old perversion the priestess talked about before w
e left. Remember?” Elaina sounded excited. “She said you would encounter an old perversion and that you must embrace it. This…this weird S&M lifestyle must be what she was talking about.”
“I don’t know…” Terex shook his head doubtfully. “Even back when Solange and I were…were “playing” on a regular basis, we never took it outside our personal life—never took it out into public where others could see.”
“Because you knew other people wouldn’t understand,” Elaina said reasonably. “Other Kindred wouldn’t anyway, because of your reverence for females. But Terex, just because your wife wanted a little rough sex and you gave it to her doesn’t mean you’re a horrible person. You were still pleasing her—still honoring her wishes. Maybe not in the Kindred way but in the way she wanted to be pleased and honored.”
“I wish I could believe that.” Terex sighed deeply. “I wish I could be free of this guilt that gnaws at my soul. But the best I have been able to do is swear to myself I would never treat a female so again. And now look…” He spread his hands. “Look at the way I’ve been treating you—handling your body intimately without asking first, making you suck my shaft and swallow my seed…”
“I didn’t mind any of that,” Elaina told him softly. “I don’t know…” She sighed. “Maybe I should have. I see the way they treat women here and it makes me so mad I just want to burn the whole damn palace down. But when you, uh, take me in hand and I call you Master…” She bit her lip. “I don’t…don’t know how to explain it but it makes me so hot. And I…I just can’t seem to help myself.”
“Don’t you see?” Terex said harshly. “That was how it started with Solange and me as well. With her calling me ‘Master’, then asking me to dominate her…then spank her…then beat her with the crop, then tie her down and choke her while I thrust myself into her harder and harder…” He shook his head, feeling the old shame come back stronger than ever. “I swore to myself I would never do this again. And now here we are, stuck.”
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