Quarantine and Chill (AMBW standalone Romance)

by Kenya Wright

  “The rent prices are crazy.”

  “No crazier than Los Angeles. And Zora is here—as well as me.”

  I rolled my eyes. “And you and I are so close.”

  “We will be after this week.”

  “Will we?”

  “I feel like we’re already closer than before.”

  I stirred. “True.”

  “We slept together.”

  I giggled.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “The way you said that. It sounded like you meant we had sex.”

  “Oh no.” He hit me with a wicked smile. “You would know if we had sex. There would be no insinuations about that.”

  “Of course not.”

  “I’m just saying. You would definitely know.”

  I blinked. “I’ve got it.”

  “You would never forget it.”

  “Kamal.”

  He laughed. “As long as we’re clear about that.”

  “I wasn’t even saying it that way.”

  “Still, I believe there should be a clear statement about my sexual skills. I’m a man. We’re weird like that. We like to growl and bang our chests when it comes to our talent between the sheets.”

  “And you believe that you should be growling and banging your chest when it comes to yours?”

  He stopped eating and stared at me. “Hmmm.”

  “Yes? Cat got your tongue?”

  He licked his lips. “You don’t want the answer for either one of those questions.”

  I shook my head, happy to get flirty Kamal back. He’d been hit hard these two days with his now ex-girlfriend cheating and his mother infected with this deadly new virus. Although I wasn’t used to him flirting with me, I enjoyed the back and forth banter and cheery mood.

  “Okay.” Kamal scooped some more food into his mouth, finished it, and then said, “How are our supplies?”

  I quirked my brows. “Supplies?”

  “Yes. Do we have enough food to be stuck together in this apartment?”

  “Probably not.”

  “Make a list of everything you want. With your cooking, I’m willing to get anything you need. How’s your skills with lobster?”

  I laughed. “Good.”

  “Then definitely put that on the list.”

  “Should I add caviar?”

  “Yes, if you love it.”

  “That was a joke.”

  “Not for me.” He gave me a sexy wink. “Whatever you want, princess.”

  “I like the term queen.”

  “How about Queenie?”

  “Hmmm. I don’t know.”

  “Back to princess.”

  “But I just said—”

  “If I can’t say queenie, then it’s princess.”

  “Whatever.” I forked some of my omelet. “I’ll make a list.”

  “And then we can head over to the supermarket in an hour.”

  I let out a long breath. “I hate going to the grocery store nowadays. It’s always packed. Everyone is anxiety-buying. It’s insane.”

  “We’ll get in and get out. Will you be wearing your superhero get-up today?”

  “What?”

  “The mask and leather jacket, you look like you’re going to kick somebody’s ass.”

  “You’re just jealous that you have a simple little hospital mask.”

  “I am. As your sidekick, I demand a better uniform.”

  “I’ll hook you up when I get back to Los Angeles.”

  He frowned.

  “You don’t like that idea?”

  “No. I’m fine with waiting on my mask. I just like you being in New York.”

  “You’ve only been hanging with me for less than twenty-four hours—”

  “Actually, we’re at twenty-four hours now.” He checked his watch. “Yep. I’ve been around you in a reasonable amount of time to suggest that you should move here.”

  “You’re crazy.” I finished my plate and rose.

  “Keep the plate there and get dressed. I’ll clean up.”

  “Cool. I like that.”

  “You cook. I clean. That’s the rules.”

  “I love those rules.” I left my plate and headed to the bedroom. “I’ll see you soon.”

  An hour later, I was dressed and ready to go. Thankfully, he’d put some clothes himself. Another minute with him only in a towel and I may have snatched it off.

  He grabbed the list from the table, and we both stepped out of the building.

  Spring was coming to New York, regardless of everyone forced to be inside. A warm breeze blew through the trees. The sun glowed bright in clear blue skies. A few birds chirped on a branch as we walked by. Yet, the sidewalk was damn near empty. Only a few cars drove on the street.

  We made it to his car and headed to the market. I had on my leather jacket, light shirt, and jeans, complete with my Shaolin Assassin mask. Kamal wore jeans that adorned his muscular thighs. A black shirt showed off his biceps and even hinted at those abs I’d spied earlier.

  Starting the car, Kamal switched the radio to the news.

  A male voice rose in the car. “Last night, a Florida man was arrested and charged with stealing 66 rolls of toilet paper from a Marriott in Orlando.”

  “Wow.” I gazed out of the car. “Is it really that serious?”

  “Apparently, it is.”

  “This last crime is one of many new ones dealing with toilet paper capers.”

  Kamal chuckled. “What is the world coming to?”

  “In California, police arrested three people in a string of hotel theft, discovering 31 rolls of toilet paper, 31 towels, four sets of bed sheets, and 27 boxes of tissue. Investigators say the items were taken from different maids’ carts at local hotels.”

  I held out my hands. “So. . .desperate times call for desperate measures?”

  “That’s their thinking.”

  “More nationwide report of various toilet paper thieves continue as anxiety reaches a new high with this global pandemic.”

  “This is 2020 now.” I shook my head. “News of virus deaths or toilet paper crimes.”

  “I’m actually missing the days when it was just news of the president being a complete racist idiot.”

  “Ah, the good old, simple days of political corruption. How I miss them?”

  “Toilet paper thieves stealing rolls from public restrooms isn't necessarily a new phenomenon. But given the global shortage, businesses have seen an increase in the crime. Especially at local parks and libraries.”

  As we drove through Brooklyn, I spotted a woman and her little girl walking on the sidewalks with masks and sunglasses. No matter how many times I saw masked people, it still shocked me.

  Kamal switched to another radio channel. “Around the world, people are hoarding consumer goods. However, there are huge differences in each country.”

  I shrugged. “This might be interesting.”

  “How stupid humans are in different places?”

  “Yep.”

  “In China, customers have cleared all shelves of fruits and vegetables as well as face masks. The Dutch have cleaned out all marijuana stores, leaving a record-breaking cannabis shortage for the first time in years,” the female newsperson reported. “There has been news of ramen stockpiling in Korea. However, Americans have been reported as hoarding firearms and toilet paper.”

  “Whoa. Guns?” I looked at Kamal.

  “Maybe, they think a bullet will kill the virus.”

  “Oh my God.”

  Kamal shut the radio off. “No one’s going to play music today.”

  “Nope. They’re just going to report on coronajerks today.”

  “Coronajerks?”

  “There’s two definitions. First, it’s a shopper at a store who violates the six-foot social distance prescription.”

  “And the second?”

  “A person who buys up everything without any concern for other people.”

  “I love this world.”

&
nbsp; “Why?”

  “All these new terms in the pandemic. Humans make life interesting no matter what.” He turned the corner.

  The supermarket appeared in front of us. Cars packed the lot. A long ling of people stood outside the door.

  I sighed. “This is going to be fun.”

  “Why are people being so crazy? It should be the normal amount of shopping.”

  “Maybe, they think it will be a food shortage. Wait.” I turned to him. “Will there end up being a food shortage?”

  “This is America. One of the fattest countries in the world. We won’t go without food.”

  “Part of me wonders if I should panic buy with everyone else. Perhaps, I’m missing something.”

  “You’re not. Ignore the crazy. We get the stuff on our list and try not to get caught up in the panic with everyone else.”

  I muttered, “Shit.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “We actually need toilet paper.”

  He gripped the steering wheel. “Damn it.”

  I smiled. “This is going to be a serious mission.”

  He held up his fist. “Are you ready to embark, Shaolin Assassin #1?”

  “I am.”

  “Mask tight?”

  I checked. “Roger that.”

  “In and out. No chit chat. Keep your distance. We find the toilet paper first.”

  “Got you.”

  “Jade.” He hit me with an intense gaze. “We don’t leave without toilet paper.”

  “It’s on.”

  Determined, we left the car.

  Chapter 8

  Kamal

  Supermarket Serenade

  We stood in front of the empty shelves.

  Jade grimaced. “What the hell is wrong with everyone?”

  “They took it all. Every last package of toilet paper.”

  “How can it be possible that there isn’t a little bit here?”

  “It’s sensible to have a two-week supply of medication, house items, and food.”

  “In that regard, I can understand why people would stock up.”

  “But they’ve cleaned out the whole market.”

  I glanced down all the empty shelves filling out the aisle. “There’s not even baby wipes. We might have used those, unfortunately.”

  “I hate the idea of that. Because you can’t flush them.”

  “Yeah. . .”

  “What’s another alternative?”

  “I saw a meme about socks—”

  “Absolutely not.” Anger hit me. “I didn’t work my ass off for all these years to make this much money, and then wipe my ass with a sock.”

  She chuckled.

  I glared at her.

  “Sorry. You’re right.” She shrugged. “What are our options?”

  “We find the bastard who took all the toilet paper, and then we take it from them.”

  She dropped her mouth open. “Kamal.”

  “My ex sucked someone’s dick in my bedroom. My mother is sick in the hospital. I just slept on an uncomfortable couch for barely five hours.” I pointed at the floor. “I will not go without toilet paper.”

  She covered her mouth.

  “Don’t you dare laugh.”

  “I’m sorry. It’s a little funny.” She chuckled. “But you’re right.”

  “I’m taking somebody’s toilet paper.” I stormed off.

  She called back to me, “But we were just listening to news about people stealing—”

  “That’s different. They were crazy.”

  “And we won’t be?”

  “Not at all.” I left the aisle, went close to the cash registers, and paused in horror.

  Really?!

  There, tons of people stood in long lines. More than four packs of toilet paper lay in every cart. It was an oasis of toilet paper as far as the eye could see.

  Jade got to my side. “What a bunch of coronajerks!”

  “You see what I’m saying?”

  “I mean look at that lady over there.” Jade gestured to the cart several feet in front of us. “The whole fucking cart is full of meat and toilet paper.”

  “Exactly. We’re going to steal from her.”

  “Kamal. That’s wrong.”

  “Then why does it feel so right?”

  Jade laughed.

  “It’s not funny. She has enough toilet paper for three damn months. There’s no wedding ring. I bet it’s all for her—”

  “Maybe she has kids.”

  “Doubt it. She’s an evil woman.”

  “Oh my God.”

  Nodding, I glared at the woman. “I’ve got a plan.”

  “Oh, you have a plan?” Jade crossed her arms over her chest. “I must hear this.”

  “I’m going to distract her—”

  “How?”

  “Look at me. I’m a handsome guy.”

  She doubled over with laughter. “I can’t with you right now.”

  “Hey, I’m not a bad looking guy.”

  “This is too much.”

  Ignoring her cracking up, I continued, “I’m going to charm her. While I keep her busy, you slip by and snatch a toilet.”

  She stopped laughing but grinned. “So, you’re going to make me the thief?”

  “We’re in this together.”

  She pointed my way. “Hey, if I get caught, you have my bail?”

  “I have your bail and a top lawyer.”

  She shook her head. “I can’t believe you are peer pressuring me into stealing toilet paper. You’re better than this, Kamal.”

  “It’s either that or we buy a huge pack of socks.”

  “Good point.” She frowned. “Okay. You charm her. When do I know it’s a good time to take the toilet paper?”

  “I’ll. . .”

  “What?”

  I thought about it but couldn’t think of anything.

  “Oh, you know what?” She smirked. “You should sing.”

  I scrunched my face in horror. “Sing?”

  “It’ll distract everyone. That’s what we need. You go up and charm her, then you sing a song that’s loud enough for everyone to look. At that point, no one will catch me taking it.”

  “I’m not a fan of singing, but we need this.”

  “Hey, I’m the one committing the crime. You need to do something too.”

  I frowned. “There must be another alternative to singing.”

  “If you don’t sing, then I won’t steal.”

  “Fine. I sing. You steal.”

  “Deal.”

  “Okay.” I raised my hand in the air for a high-five.

  She hit it.

  “Let’s go.”

  She nodded.

  I walked off and headed to the woman. She was slim, probably in her mid-thirties. Super short. Her packs of toilet tissue towered over her. The sight disgusted me.

  There’s no way you need that much.

  I glanced around and didn’t see Jade.

  Wow. Jade really is an assassin. Let’s see if all that anime will pay off.

  I stopped near the woman and smiled.

  Damn. She can’t see my mouth under the mask.

  She looked up at me.

  “Excuse me. Will you need any help with your groceries today?”

  She raised her eyebrows. “You work here?”

  “No. I own a company.” I cringed and cleared my throat. “I meant. I’m a successful businessperson.”

  Okay. You need to exercise your charm more. You’re out of practice.

  I added, “I just happened to see you standing here. And I thought to myself, ‘She’s too beautiful to be shopping for herself. If she were with me, I would have my maid do it for her.’”

  Her face reddened. “Oh.”

  “I mean all I can see are your eyes, but—you’re captivating. Has anyone ever told you how gorgeous your eyes are?”

  “I’ve been told that once.”

  “But not every day?”

  “No.” She giggled.
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  “That’s outrageous.”

  She giggled again.

  “And how many times have you been serenaded?”

  She shook her head. “No one has ever—”

  “What?!”

  Other people in line turned and watched me.

  I spread my arms out. “No one has sung to you?”

  “No.” Her giggling shifted to laughter. A few behind her laughed too.

  “This is outrageous!” I spotted Jade coming behind her. She winked at me. I figured that might have been the signal to start the distraction. I lowered to one knee. “I’m going to fix this.”

  “Oh no, sir.” The woman shook her head and held out her hand to stop me. “That’s okay.”

  “You must be sung to.” I saw Jade right next to her cart. I began singing, “Love! Love! You look like love today! And all I can say! Is love!”

  Jade grabbed a toilet tissue roll and sneaked off.

  “Love! You are the beauty of love!”

  “Oh no.” The woman waved her hands. “Please. Stop. Thank you.”

  “Are you sure?” I rose and didn’t see Jade anymore.

  Good job, my beautiful assassin!

  “I hope you have a nice day.” I bowed.

  Someone clapped behind her. “Girl, you better give him your number.”

  The woman giggled.

  “Don’t worry.” I held my finger up. “If our love is meant to be, we will see each other again.”

  Her face reddened some more.

  Slowly, I backed up. “Love! Love!”

  She waved goodbye.

  I turned and rushed away.

  Okay. Toilet paper found. What’s next?

  I pulled out my shopping list, hoping I wouldn’t have to serenade anymore people. A minute later, I discovered Jade in the meat section with a cart. The prize pack of toilet tissue lay in there.

  I counted the rolls. “Eight. We’ve hit the motherload.”

  “That’s what I was thinking.” She winked.

  “You’re my special assassin.”

  “I’m just glad I got the job done.”

  I touched my chest. “Hey, I did my part.”

  “You sure did.” She chuckled and impersonated me. “Love. Love. You look like love today.”

  “My mother told me that I have a beautiful voice.”

  “That’s because she’s your mother.” She turned back to the empty shelves. “So. . .will we be stealing meat from people’s carts or are we going to be vegetarians this week?”

  “I think vegetarian is in order. We may have been lucky with that theft.”