Chasing Dreams

by Susan Lewis

  It was incredible how well things were going, for not much more than three months had passed since that dreadful day in Michael’s office when he had fired her so callously and she had behaved in a manner she couldn’t even bring herself to think about now. Actually, were it not for Nesta, she doubted she’d have come as far as she had, for it was Nesta who had picked her up and put the fight back in her, when all she’d really wanted was to crawl away somewhere and die.

  ‘You can’t let him get the better of you like this,’ Nesta had shouted after finding her once again glued to a video of him at the première of United We Fall. ‘He’s just one man, for God’s sake. There are thousands more out there worth a thousand times more than he is, so for God’s sake pull yourself together and start showing him what you’re made of.’

  And the amazing thing was how easy that was proving, for, initially at least, all she’d needed was her contacts book, a computer, a telephone and an early-morning vigil on the mail at Chelsea Harbour. The vigil was no longer necessary, as by now she and Nesta had contacted most of the McCann Walsh clients Sandy had dealt with on a regular basis to tell them she was working at home for a while. She’d fully expected them to know she’d been fired, but by some astonishing good luck they either hadn’t been informed, or simply didn’t care. Either way, they seemed more than happy to continue with Sandy at her new address and number, probably because they’d had a great deal more attention paid to them since Sandy had become involved in their careers. She had also been in touch with the producers and casting directors she’d done regular business with while at McCann’s to tell them the same story – that she was now working from home. It was quite staggering how smoothly she was cutting a slice out of McCann’s without anyone noticing, for she’d not only started receiving contracts now and changing the agent’s name from McCann Walsh to Sandy Paull, she’d actually banked several thousand pounds’ worth of commissions. Of course it was generally only bureaucrats or accountants who saw the contracts after they were drawn up, so there wasn’t really anyone to be curious about why the agent’s name had changed; to them the name was irrelevant, all that counted were the terms and the figures. And when the clients asked, which very few did, she simply told them that it was a new system McCann’s had introduced lately that was going through a trial period.

  Of course, she knew what she was doing was illegal, but she had several good insurance policies that would ward off any threat of prosecution. In the first place, she could claim Michael had set her up to sleep with potential clients in order to entice them away from their current agents. Of course, he’d never done any such thing, but the fact that Slim Sutton thought he had was probably enough to make at least some of the mud stick. Secondly, there was the affair Craig was having with a member of Her Majesty’s Government, which she could always threaten to reveal should Michael ever decide to bring charges against her. Craig’s affair probably wouldn’t do much harm to the agency, but Sandy was trusting to how loyal a friend Michael was to Craig and therefore how far he would go to protect him. And should all else fail she would either file a sexual harassment charge against Michael, or plant a considerable quantity of cocaine in his office and tip off the police. The last was a means of making sure that if she went down then he went down with her. So one way or another, she was pretty confident of making him pay for the way he had used her, then so cruelly discarded her when she became an embarrassment.

  ‘So how did it go with Maurice today?’ Nesta asked, coming into the kitchen. ‘Did he show you anything you liked?’

  Sandy laughed. ‘You’re going to love this,’ she answered. ‘He almost took me to Chelsea Harbour.’

  ‘No!’ Nesta gasped. ‘Oh, what a hoot that would be, setting up office right next door to Michael McCann.’

  ‘It was underneath, actually,’ Sandy corrected. ‘And believe you me, I’d give anything to see his face if we did set up shop there, but we can’t run the risk.’

  ‘You’ll have to make yourself official pretty soon, though,’ Nesta pointed out.

  ‘I know, but there are still a few things we need to get in place before we do. I’m seeing Jodi later, so we’ll probably have a clearer picture after that. Maurice showed me some great premises just along the road from here, by the way. I’ve got to tell you I could quite fancy myself in the executive suite. Just wait ’til you see it.’

  Nesta looked surprised. ‘Have you taken it, then?’ she asked.

  ‘I’m considering it,’ Sandy answered, passing her a cup of tea. ‘Do you want a biscuit?’

  ‘There’s not a lot I wouldn’t do for a biscuit,’ Nesta groaned, ‘but some of us have to watch our weight.’

  Sandy shrugged and turned to the cupboard, while Nesta eyed her almost perfect figure with full-blooded envy. It was amazing how shapely such a small and slender body could be, Nesta was thinking, as munching on a digestive Sandy said, ‘Are you going out tonight?’

  ‘If you mean am I working tonight the answer’s no,’ Nesta answered, turning back into the sitting-room. ‘But don’t start thinking you’re persuading me to give it up, because you’re not. I just feel like a night in, that’s all. Being your assistant takes it out of me, you know.’

  Sandy laughed. ‘I’ll believe that when you really do give up the night job,’ she said. ‘What are you doing there?’

  ‘Typing this contract into the computer and changing the agent’s name to yours,’ Nesta answered.

  Sandy stopped chewing, then, sitting down on the sofa she stared into her half-empty cup.

  ‘You’ve gone quiet,’ Nesta accused a few minutes later.

  Sandy’s lips were pursed as she thought. ‘I was just thinking about something Jodi said on the phone earlier,’ she responded. ‘Michael’s gone to New York again. That’s the third time in eight weeks.’

  ‘So?’ Nesta responded.

  Sandy’s looked at her and Nesta rolled her eyes.

  ‘Sandy, for God’s sake, you’ve got to get a grip,’ she scolded gently. ‘The man screwed you over in a pretty bad way, remember? You can’t let him get away …’

  ‘I know, I know,’ Sandy interrupted, sighing. ‘And I’m not letting him get away with it, am I? But that doesn’t stop me feeling the way I do. I mean, you can’t just turn those feelings off when they don’t suit you any more.’

  ‘OK, that’s true, but you’re going to have to accept the fact that one of these days he will get involved with someone else.’

  ‘He hasn’t since he fired me,’ Sandy pointed out.

  ‘And you’re thinking it’s because it’s still you he really wants?’ Nesta responded.

  Sandy shrugged.

  ‘Oh, come on, get real, will you? Try making yourself accept that he probably is going to New York to see a woman, and deal with it. It’s the only way you’re going to get over him. And think what satisfaction you’re going to get the day you’re in a position to take over his agency, then decide whether or not you want to give him a job.’

  Sandy laughed and felt a sudden thrill kick-start her spirits the way it always did when she envisaged herself having more power than Michael. It was true, she still wanted him desperately and nothing, just nothing, was ever going to persuade her they weren’t right for each other, but she could see now that it was never going to happen unless she made it happen. And she would, for she had too much ammunition on her side to fail.

  ‘Actually, what I was really thinking,’ she said, ‘was that all these trips to New York are probably to do with the Australian tie-up thing I told you about. Michael told me himself he wanted to get Chris Ruskin, his associate in New York, involved in the deal. I’m just trying to work out a way of getting the low-down on what’s going on there and somehow getting in on it too.’ She looked at Nesta. ‘Does that suit?’

  Nesta was looking impressed. ‘As long it’s got nothing to do with you eating your heart out over him and another woman it suits,’ she confirmed, and picking up the phone as it rang she said, ‘H
ello, Sandy Paull’s office. Oh hi, Maurice. Yes, she’s right here. I’ll put you on.’

  As Sandy spoke to her personal business guru, who was also the chief investor in her soon-to-be-official new agency, Nesta carried on doctoring the contract in front of her while listening to the conversation. She didn’t know Maurice well herself, as he was a very private man, but there wasn’t much question about his devotion to Sandy, without which they wouldn’t be nearly as far down the road as they were. In fact, he and Sandy had spent the past couple of weeks going about London looking at possible venues for an office, and with the kind of contacts and indeed, ownership, Maurice could boast Nesta was pretty certain Sandy was going to end up in some penthouse suite in Belgravia or Mayfair. Or, if the current conversation was anything to go by, right here in Chelsea.

  ‘Do I take it from all that,’ Nesta said as Sandy hung up, ‘that you’ve put in an offer?’

  ‘He has,’ Sandy confirmed, with a very satisfied wiggle of her eyebrows. ‘We should know by the middle of next week whether or not it’s ours. And if it is, are you going to come work with us?’

  ‘Us?’ Nesta echoed.

  ‘Me and the other agents I’ll be recruiting,’ Sandy explained.

  ‘My, we are thinking big already,’ Nesta remarked. ‘Is this more of Maurice’s money that’s going to pay for these agents?’

  ‘In the very short term,’ Sandy replied. ‘But considering those I have in mind it shouldn’t be long before they’re paying handsome dividends on Maurice’s very handsome investment.’

  Nesta’s eyes were alive with curiosity. ‘Don’t tell me you’re going to start poaching already,’ she said. Then, instinctively realizing she was heading down the wrong track she said, ‘No, you’re not going to other agencies, are you?’

  Sandy was shaking her head. ‘There’s no need to,’ she smiled. ‘Not at this stage, anyway.’

  Nesta’s pleasure was widening her grin to a point that made Sandy laugh out loud. ‘You know, sometimes I wonder if I don’t underestimate you,’ Nesta declared.

  ‘I wonder if you do too,’ Sandy responded.

  Nesta gazed at her in amused admiration. ‘I never thought you’d have the guts for it,’ she said bluntly.

  ‘To be honest, I wasn’t sure myself until today,’ Sandy confessed. ‘Now, I can hardly wait to get started.’

  Nesta gave a whoop of pure triumph. ‘Yeehah!’ she cried. ‘I don’t know what happened today, but whatever it was, hang on to your balls, Michael McCann, ’cos Sandy Paull’s a-ridin’ into town.’

  The bar at the Collection, London’s latest place to be seen at, was crowded with media types as Sandy pushed her way through to join Jodi.

  ‘Hi, Sandy,’ Jodi said, as Sandy struggled on to the bar stool next to her.

  ‘How are you?’ Sandy asked, trying to catch the barman’s attention. ‘Thanks for coming.’

  ‘That’s OK,’ Jodi replied chirpily, watching Sandy as she quickly looked around to see who else was there. ‘I wanted to see for myself how you’re getting along. I can’t believe how much time has gone by since you left. I wish I could have seen you before this, but we’ve been so busy … Well, you know how it is. It’s good that you keep in touch, though.’

  Sandy lowered her eyes from the gallery restaurant above and smiled. She was still the same old Jodi, dishevelled black hair, frank, pretty face and garish spandex clothes. For a moment Sandy felt as though she were the older of the two, when she was at least three years Jodi’s junior.

  ‘Are you OK?’ Jodi asked, peering into Sandy’s eyes as though to encourage a positive reply. ‘You look good.’

  Sandy laughed and held out her wrists. ‘No scars,’ she declared. ‘Hope that doesn’t disappoint you.’

  Jodi flushed. ‘Look, I know how it must have seemed,’ she said, ‘that I was taking sides with Bertie and everyone, but I swear I wasn’t. And for what it’s worth I think Michael treated you pretty shabbily when he fired you.’

  Sandy’s eyebrows went up. ‘A gin and tonic please,’ she said to the barman. ‘Did you tell him that?’ she asked Jodi.

  ‘Are you kidding?’ Jodi spluttered. ‘No one’s allowed to mention your name.’

  Sandy’s heart tightened. Was that because he was still angry with her, or because it hurt him to hear it? ‘That must be a tough one on Bertie,’ she commented, managing a smile.

  Jodi looked miserable, for she never had found it easy to gossip behind other people’s backs.

  Sandy eyed her for a moment, then, digging into her bag for her purse she said, ‘So Michael’s been seeing Ellen Shelby in New York.’ She had no idea how she managed to keep her voice so steady, when inside she was sick with rage. Indeed, it had taken very little to convince herself that Ellen Shelby was at the root of all the injustice she had suffered, for had she not come into their lives when she had, Sandy just knew that she would be the one Michael was seeing now.

  ‘I shouldn’t have told you that,’ Jodi replied.

  ‘You didn’t, I guessed,’ Sandy reminded her.

  ‘All the same, I’d prefer it if you never mentioned I told you,’ Jodi said.

  Sandy laughed. ‘Who would I mention it to?’ she said. ‘I don’t work there any more, remember? And I certainly don’t know anyone else who’d be interested.’

  Jodi was saved from responding as Sandy paid for her gin and tonic, then touched her glass to Jodi’s. ‘Cheers,’ she said. ‘It’s good to see you.’

  ‘And to see you,’ Jodi replied, brightening. ‘So what have you been doing? Have you found another job yet?’

  Sandy nodded. ‘As a matter of fact that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.’

  ‘Oh? Well, Michael said he’d give you good references and if you don’t want to speak to him yourself …’

  ‘I don’t need any references,’ Sandy interrupted.

  Jodi looked startled. ‘Oh, then what?’ she said.

  Sandy smiled. ‘Promise not to laugh?’

  ‘Promise.’

  ‘I want you to work for me.’

  Jodi choked on her drink. ‘What?’ she gasped, wiping her mouth.

  ‘I’m setting up my own agency and I want you to work for me,’ Sandy repeated.

  Jodi’s eyes were steeped in amazement. ‘How?’ she finally managed. ‘I mean, your own agency …’

  Sandy was waving a dismissive hand. ‘Oh, you don’t want to hear all the boring details of how,’ she replied. ‘Just suffice it to say that we’re quite a long way down the road now and should be moving into our new premises some time next month.’

  ‘We?’ Jodi echoed.

  ‘Me and my partners.’

  Jodi took more time to assimilate the news before saying, ‘Does Michael know anything about this?’

  Sandy shrugged. ‘I shouldn’t think so,’ she answered. ‘How could he, when no one’s allowed to mention my name?’

  ‘But how have you managed it?’

  ‘I promise you, it wasn’t hard. So, are you interested in joining our team?’

  ‘To be honest,’ Jodi answered after a moment, ‘I’m amazed you’re asking when you of all people know how fond I am of Michael. I mean, I might not agree with what he did to you, but I’m definitely not thinking of leaving him …’

  Sandy was shaking her head. ‘I’m not asking you to leave him,’ she smiled. ‘In fact, that’s the last thing I’d ask you to do. No, what I want is for you to pass me information on what’s going on in the office, you know like this Australian tie-up, or in Michael’s personal life, or even in someone else’s, if you think it might be of use.’

  Jodi’s mouth dropped open in shock.

  Sandy smiled.

  ‘Do you …? Are you asking me, will I spy for you? Is that what you’re saying?’ Jodi said breathlessly.

  Sandy nodded. ‘Crude, but accurate,’ she said.

  ‘Then you’ve got to be out of your mind!’ Jodi cried angrily. ‘For God’s sake, what’s got into you even to ask me some
thing like that. You know how much my job means to me, so does Michael …’ She broke off, too stunned to go on.

  ‘You told me today that Michael was seeing Ellen Shelby in New York,’ Sandy reminded her. ‘It’s as easy as that.’

  ‘As a matter of fact that wasn’t easy at all,’ Jodi shot back. ‘I’ve regretted it ever since.’

  Sandy merely looked at her.

  ‘Jesus Christ, Sandy!’ Jodi cried. ‘What’s happening to you? Are you having some kind of breakdown or something?’

  Sandy laughed. ‘Believe it or not, this kind of thing goes on all the time in business,’ she informed her. ‘I’m just getting the hang of it. It’s called utilizing your assets – and you, Jodi, are one of my assets.’

  Jodi was shaking her head. ‘No, sorry,’ she said, ‘count me out. I couldn’t play that kind of game even if I wanted to, and I definitely don’t want to. In any case, how do you know I’m not going to tell Michael about this conversation?’

  ‘You probably think you are,’ Sandy answered.

  An instant wariness came into Jodi’s eyes. ‘What do you mean?’ she said.

  ‘Well, you would tell him, wouldn’t you, you’re so loyal to him,’ Sandy pointed out. ‘Except you won’t, because I’m asking you not to. And because if you do then I’ll just have to let Harry’s wife know about the affair you were having with her husband the whole time she was pregnant.’ She smiled and took a sip of her drink.

  Jodi stared at her in horrified silence.

  Sandy waited it out.

  ‘Just like that,’ Jodi said in the end. ‘You’re telling me just like that, that you’re prepared to screw up I don’t know how many people’s lives in order to get me to tell you when Michael’s seeing Ellen Shelby. You’re sick, Sandy. You need help.’

  ‘I’m not just talking about when he’s seeing Ellen Shelby,’ Sandy corrected. ‘I’m talking about everything else as well. Most specifically, right now, anything you can find out about the Australia deal.’