Rock Me (New Adult Romance)

by Olivia Marks

  He put his strong arms around me and brought me onto his lap while kissing my hair.

  “Thanks, I’m so stoked.” He pulled back for a moment. “You’ll come, right? You’ve never seen us play live before.” His green eyes searched mine.

  “Of course! I wouldn’t miss your first big solo gig.” He flashed me a gorgeous smile and pulled me close again for a kiss. I melted into him, enjoying his sexy smell and the feel of his supple lips.

  “Hey, you know what we should do to celebrate?” he asked, his voice muffled as he began to softly kiss my tender neck.

  “Shower?” I squeaked, my toes beginning to tingle.

  “Nah.” He moved up to kiss my earlobe. I shivered. “I don’t think we’ve really earned that shower yet.” He stood up, carrying me with him. I sat suspended in his arms, looking down into his playful eyes.

  “So what do I have to do to earn it?” I asked faintly.

  He headed towards the bed, still grinning. “You’re going to have to try remaining very, very still…”

  Chapter Six

  Aimee and I sat backstage at the Bowery Ballroom later that week gossiping and noshing on candy and chocolate. The band was in strategy mode on the other couch, discussing the set list. I snuck admiring looks at Liam who was dressed in a white wife beater and tight black jeans that showed off his tats and lean bod. He met every look, gifting me with that gorgeous smile.

  “Wow, you are so into him!” Aimee teased, poking me in the side. “And he you. You guys can’t keep your eyes off each other.”

  I ducked my head, trying to look modest. After a few days of non-stop togetherness, I finally felt like we’d reached a point where I’d stopped worrying so much about why he was with me and started focusing on just enjoying it.

  We’d been record shopping, gone for a walk on the High Line, and eaten way too many burgers at Shake Shack. Aimee and Felicia had joined us for ramen and I’d been sneaking out for coffee dates with Aimee.

  I was happy that I was finally getting some quality girl time with her. We’d gotten dressed up before the concert, me in a black belted dress with heels and her in cute sequined silvery top and jeans. We’d gone out for Chinese food before heading backstage to live the rock star life. Liam had made sure that we could watch the concert from there, an experience we were sure we’d never forget.

  The opening band, a group of cute indie guys from Brooklyn, soon took the stage. They were solid but I knew who I was there for. When they exited and the stage had been set up, the manager Dan, a solid guy who looked like a former wrestler, bellowed out

  “You’re on guys! Don’t mess it up, for Christ’s sake.”

  I ran up to Liam and flung my arms around his neck. “Have I told you lately that you look smoking?” he whispered.

  “Like five minutes ago,” I teased.

  He patted my bum affectionately. I couldn’t help noticing his band mates were sending disbelieving looks my way. But that day, nothing could have crushed my happiness. Almost nothing.

  “You’re going to be awesome,” I said, standing on my toes to receive a kiss.

  “I sure hope so. Man, I could hardly sleep last night.”

  “You got this,” I said, looking into those striking green eyes.

  He gave me his bravest smile, planted another kiss on my lips and then tore himself away, called off by his insistent band mates.

  Felicia, Aimee and I crowded in. As the guys took the stage, a huge roar came from the crowd. My heart pounded to see the crush of people in the audience, struggling towards the stage, waving and screaming. Aimee and I looked at each other with excitement.

  “Wow, people love them,” she whispered. “I had no idea they’d gotten so big already.”

  “I guess there’s been a lot of buzz online in the past couple months after they released their EP online. That show with Black Dawn must have really tipped them over.”

  “Yeah, I’ve been keeping tabs on the Hazard 41 thread on BD’s message boards.” Aimee was just as obsessed with the latest BD gossip as I was. “The love on there is unreal.” She grinned. “And now you’ve bagged their lead guitarist. Girl, you know how to do things!”

  I rolled my eyes at her but gave her an affectionate squeeze so as not to seem too harsh. Hazard 41 took up their instruments and without any warning launched into the title track off their EP, “Darkest Hour” (Liam’s tribute to Black Dawn). The soaring guitars caused the audience to scream even more. I hoped they were after the lead guitarist and not Liam, though I couldn’t tell.

  Liam looked totally in his element. I was so used to seeing him as a guy drinking coffee next to me in a café, or slurping up ramen, or smiling at me from a very rumpled bed. But there he was, tall and lean in those tight black jeans, with his muscular arms pumping away at his prized guitar. The notes that came out resonated through the hall, each chord soaring higher and higher. He leaned back, eyes closed, letting the music flow off him in ecstatic waves.

  Meanwhile, the lead singer belted out Liam’s powerful lyrics. The darkest hour / is before the dawn / I’ve always wanted something / That turned out to be wrong. / I’m fighting for a new vision / But there’s no light ahead / I reach into my past for inspiration / But my past is dead.

  I sang along; I’d memorized every word on his EP. Sometimes, OK well often, he confused me and when I listened to his music I felt closer to him.

  The band ripped through more of their EP as well as older songs from their catalogue and even a couple of Black Dawn covers. The crowd danced, sang along at the top of their lungs, and screamed. I could hardly believe that not long ago I was one of them, reaching for Black Dawn. Now I was backstage. I could feel a silly smile plastered on my face and I just didn’t care.

  As the set wrapped up, Hazard 41 launched into my favorite track, “Waiting For An Answer.” The song was about a guy who’s got this question in his head: does his dream girl actually exist? He knows what he’s looking for but he’s just as sure she doesn’t exist. If she does, he’s convinced he wouldn’t deserve her. It was so powerful and yet so vulnerable.

  As Hazard 41 was about halfway through the song, a fan leapt up on stage. Security was pretty lax at the show so nobody moved to stop him. The guy, clearly drunk, started to dance on stage while a woman in the audience below, probably his girlfriend, cheered him on. At first I thought it was funny: he was a big guy and his dancing was truly awful.

  I soon realized though that the guy was completely gone. He reeled around while getting tangled up in the cords, shouting incoherently, and almost crashing into the band members, who looked pissed. The lead singer gestured impatiently at one of the security guards who were lazily watching from the edge of the room.

  Just then, drunk guy started trying to gyrate with Liam who moved back, clearly annoyed. “Dude, chill out and get down,” I heard him say. But drunk guy was clearly far too gone. He started bumping into Liam in his excitement. Liam staggered back, trying to regain his balance. Not noticing he had him cornered right against the edge of the stage, he body checked him, sending Liam flying off.

  I gasped as he landed hard in the crowd and then slid down to the floor. The music stopped abruptly and the security guards finally rushed forward to pick up him out of the panicked crowd. I ran out onto the stage edge, crying “Liam!” Aimee ran after me but the band confronted us and held us back.

  “Get back!” Callum, the lead singer barked. “You can’t be out here.”

  Tears flooding down my face as Aimee dragged me backstage. Instantly we were in the middle of chaos. Dan was rushing out, his cell phone pressed to his stony face.

  “Dan, what’s happening?” I pleaded.

  “I gotta go,” he said sharply.

  “Please call me and let me know what’s happening,” I begged as he raced out. The rest of the band milled about distractedly, punching messages into their cell phones. Felicia appeared, looking stunned.

  “What’s going on?” I said, clinging to her.


  She shook her head. “I don’t know, Shay. The security guards got him out and I’m pretty sure an ambulance is on its way.”

  “Is he hurt? Can I see him?”

  Callum must have heard me, because he stepped in. “’Licia, can you get these girls out of here? The last thing we need right now is some hysterical chicks.”

  To her credit, Felicia threw him a disgusted look. But she gathered us up anyway and put us into a taxi.

  “I need to see him!” I protested.

  “Listen Shay,” she said from outside the window, her pretty face creased with concern. “Liam is going to get excellent medical care. I’m sure he’s OK. You girls go home and sit tight while I figure things out. I promise I’ll call as soon as I hear anything.”

  Aimee and I found ourselves imprisoned in the house that night, glued to the phone. I sat by the window where Liam had appeared not long before, singing and playing just for me. I even trolled the Internet looking for updates but reports were vague. There were cell phone photos of the incident plus truly hysterical accounts of Liam’s condition from fans.

  I snapped closed my laptop in disgust. The last thing I needed was to worry more. I waited for Felicia to call or even better, a text from Liam, but nothing came. Aimee hovered around me nervously, making me tea and trying to get me to watch old episodes of Toddlers & Tiaras, with no success. I eventually fell asleep in the chair by the window, my cell phone clutched in my hand, Liam’s words in my ear buds chasing me into an uneasy sleep.

  * * *

  I was on the phone with Felicia, impatiently pacing by the window in her apartment.

  “What do you mean he doesn’t want to see anyone!” I protested. It had been a week since his accident and every attempt I’d made to see him had been stonewalled. I was totally and completely fed up.

  There was an awkward pause at the end of the line. “That’s the gist of it,” she stammered. “He’s asked that no one be let into his hotel room except his band mates and Dan. He won’t even see me.”

  “But, but…” I tried to wrap my head around the situation. “You told me he’s fine physically, right?”

  “Just a few cuts and bruises. Nothing broken, thank God.”

  “OK, so he’s not sick. But, he’s been cooped up in there for a week. He won’t respond to my calls or texts, he doesn’t want to see me, I just don’t get it!” I froze suddenly. “Wait, when you say he doesn’t want to see anyone, does he just not want to see me?”

  “No, no,” Felicia said quickly. “I really mean nobody. Listen Shay, you and Liam had a good thing going but I need to level with you, you might not know him as well as you think you do. From what I’ve heard, the man has demons and right now I think he’s busy dealing with them. That’s all I’ll say—I’ve already said too much.”

  My mind whirled with possibilities. What would cause Liam to act this way? Was it really not because of me? I didn’t deal well with uncertainty and in that moment I decided I’d have to take action. Liam meant too much to me to just stand on the sidelines and pray things would get better.

  “Alright, just keep me posted, OK?” I said casually before hanging up.

  I headed straight for the shower. Aimee watched me with eyebrow lifted. “What’s up?”

  “I think I’m gonna take a little walk to clear my head.”

  Aimee looked skeptical. “You want me to come with?”

  I shook my head. “Thanks, but this is something I have to do by myself.”

  Twenty minutes later I was showered and dressed in jeans, T-shirt, and shorts, my hair thrown up in a quick ponytail. I grabbed my bag and jetted out to the subway before Aimee could think twice about my sudden enthusiasm for walking.

  The subway was confusing, dark, and crowded, as usual. I pushed my way into the train, only to be confronted by a crazy guy in boxers, a full mariachi band, and a couple of punks with spiked hair. I took a deep breath and turned up the volume on my iPod.

  It took about 45 minutes to get to Liam’s hotel in midtown. I bustled up to the front desk, trying to look important. “I’m here to see Liam Carter,” I said confidently.

  The pretty blonde behind the desk gave me a sympathetic look. “Uh who?” she asked. I realized that Liam must be staying under a fake name. From the tone of the message boards, I was sure other girls had tried to scope him out.

  “Please, I know you’ve seen me come in with him.”

  The blonde’s look changed from sympathy to mild irritation.

  “I’m sorry miss, there’s nobody here named Liam.” She then leaned in slightly and said in a whisper, “And if there was, I’m pretty sure no one would be allowed to see him. OK?”

  I tried staring her down but I was never good at that. I retreated to one of the shiny black leather couches, muttering, “Just let me call him first.”

  The blonde shrugged her shoulders and went back to her computer. I sat down and pretended to play with my phone. What are you going to do next, crazy woman? I thought wildly.

  Someone must have been looking out for me because the blonde soon received a call that sent her scampering off. Seizing my chance, I got up and slid over toward the elevators, quickly punching in the right floor and then gliding into the first available elevator. A minute later I was outside Liam’s door, knocking gently.

  “Liam?” I called. ‘It’s me. Please open up.”

  The only thing that came back was total silence. But I’d already made a total idiot of myself; I might as well go the whole way.

  “Liam, I’m not leaving until you open up,” I said in a louder voice. “I know you think

  I’m just some nice girl from Minnesota but you have no idea how cold the winters are there. I’m made of some seriously hardy stock. If I need to stay here all night and day I’ll do that, you got me?”

  There was a moment of hesitation before I heard faint scuffling. The door slowly cracked open and Liam peered out at me. His chestnut hair was wild and his scruff was more homeless than dashing. He was dressed only in a pair of black boxers. I felt a million things at once—relief that he was in one piece, concern that he might be going nutty, adoration (I guess my heart was a tough one to break), and anger, definitely anger.

  “Where the heck have you been?” I started off.

  He scratched his head. “Look Shay, I’ve been on this writing kick lately. I’ve been meaning to reply to you but once I get into these creative bents it just sort of takes over my life.”

  I pushed past him. I didn’t come all the way there for him to feed me some mumbo jumbo.

  The room was littered with crumpled pieces of paper that were covered in maniacal scribbles. Pencils, pads, and take out wrappers were strewn everywhere. Liam stood in the middle of this chaos scratching his head confusedly.

  I wanted to berate him for his stupid excuse. After all, how flipping long does it take to send a three-word text message such as I am OK? Or better yet, I am OK, please come over, I miss you, love you forever, Liam.

  But the last thing I wanted to do was come off as fresh out of high school. I had to try a more mature approach. “Liam, I’ve been very worried about you. I wish you would have called me.” I said through gritted teeth.

  He looked genuinely embarrassed. “Yeah Shay, I really can’t apologize enough. The guys brought me back here after my hospital check-up and all of a sudden I had this crazy urge to start writing. I haven’t left since.”

  I gaped at him. “You haven’t left this room in a week?”

  He shook his head sheepishly. I frowned and picked up one of the crumpled pieces of paper next to me on the bed. It said: So far away / But always back where I began / You beat me right into the ground / Was the reason that I ran.

  I picked up other pieces of paper; the lyrics were just as raw and hurting. I looked up at him. He seemed drained. ‘What’s eating you, Liam?” I asked softly. “Why did you have to run?”

  He shrugged his shoulders and began gathering up the papers. “It’s nothing. I’ve just be
en inside too long, that’s all.”

  I slid up to him and put my hand on his strong forearm. He was so tall and brawny but the look in his eyes was little-boy-lost.

  “Liam,” I begged.

  “Listen Shay,” he said finally, his deep voice cracking slightly. “There are some things about me that I don’t talk about with anyone. Not my band mates, not my best buds, no one. I do that not because I want to shut people out but because I want to work towards a future, not give fuel to my past, you know? Some things are just so painful they don’t lend to discussing, they lend to forgetting.”

  “So if you’ve forgotten these things, then why are you shut up in this room?” I said softly. I stared up into his face; his eyes were red from lack of sleep. “What was it that triggered this, Liam? I respect you’re hurting and believe me, I don’t want you to hurt more. But I also want to understand you because I hope if I do, even a little, I can help you.”

  Liam took a deep breath and pushed back his scraggly hair. “I don’t much like being pushed around,” he said finally, so low that I had to lean in to hear him. “I’m a tough guy. Damn, I pump iron every day when I got the time. But I have a sort of reaction to guys getting physical with me. Don’t happen that much anymore but when it does…” He exhaled. “Used to be I’d drink. Now I got my stuff straight, I write through it. Takes a while, but it works.”

  We stood there together a moment, my hand still on his arm, both of us digesting what he’d just said. Questions swirled in my head: why did being pushed force him into hiding? How much did he used to drink? But Liam’s face stopped me from asking. He looked spent.

  “Why don’t we sit a moment?” I said gently. We went to the chaise lounge. I went to sit next to him but he pulled me onto his lap. He snuck his arm around me, I rested my head on his shoulders and we breathed together for some minutes, enjoying just being close.

  When I felt more settled I lifted my head. “I know this is hard, but I still wish you’d have told me sooner. I really just want to help, Liam.”