Single In The Saddle

by Vicki Lewis Thompson

  But, as he’d learned so well, it would. He needed to prepare for that. But not now. Not just now.

  EVEN THOUGH STONY TOOK the lantern to go check on Jolly Boy, Daphne could see well enough to straighten the blanket. She couldn’t help smiling as she smoothed out the wrinkles and then lay back on the makeshift bed. Stony loved her. She’d felt it. If she hadn’t been so bullheaded about keeping her virgin status, she might have found out sooner.

  Then again, maybe he’d fallen in love with her over the days they’d spent together when they hadn’t been intimate. Maybe she had done the right thing in waiting until now. It didn’t matter, so long as she could look into his eyes and see the devotion shining there.

  He’d held her as if he cherished the chance to do so. No man had ever held her quite like that, as if he never wanted to let go. Before he’d left the stall, he’d kissed her and stroked her cheek with such tenderness that she had no doubt about his feelings for her. He was, after all, the man she’d dreamed of when she’d been writing those letters. It had just taken a little while for him to realize that they were perfect for each other, just as Jasper had predicted.

  The lantern light bobbed in the aisle of the barn as she heard Stony’s footsteps approach. He smiled at her as he slipped inside the stall and set the lantern on the floor. “I don’t care what you say.” He leaned against the side of the stall and pulled off one boot. “I’m taking my jeans and boots off this time.”

  Her pulse quickened. “You mean you’re not tired? You could sleep a little bit if you like. I’ll keep watch and wake you in a little while.”

  He chuckled as he took off the other boot. “Sleep? When I’m having the night of my dreams?”

  “So am I.”

  He peeled off his jeans and briefs, revealing that he was once more becoming aroused. “See what you do to me? I haven’t been this quick to recover since I was seventeen.”

  “I just don’t want to wear you out. You have obligations tomorrow, I’m sure.”

  “And I’m sure you do, too.” He lay down on the blanket and pulled her into his arms, combing her hair back from her face with his fingers. “Do you want to sleep? If you do, I’ll find the strength to leave you alone, somehow.”

  Her heart filled with joy as she twined her leg around his. “I can’t imagine sleeping when we could do this.”

  “Good. Just a second.” Releasing her, he rolled back toward the lantern, picked up the bandanna and tossed it over the light Then he turned back to her and gathered her close. “Party time.”

  15

  ABOUT AN HOUR before dawn, Daphne dressed and carried everything back to the house while Stony checked Jolly Boy one last time. They’d taken the gelding to the waterfall twice more during the night, and Stony had kept the horse’s leg iced the rest of the time. Jolly Boy was going to be fine.

  They were all going to be fine, Daphne thought as she deposited her bundle on the couch and went into the bathroom for a quick shower. Stony had asked her to wait for him in his bed. He’d promised to leave a note for Jasper that he and Daphne would be sleeping in.

  “And we’ll sleep?” Daphne had said, smiling.

  “Maybe.” He’d given her a wicked grin before going into Jolly Boy’s stall.

  The first glow of dawn lightened the sky outside Stony’s bedroom window as Daphne crawled between the cool sheets and glanced up at the canopy. It was only shadowy fabric now, but soon she’d be able to make out the patterns in the lace. Stony had said once that he’d let her lie on her back so that she could see those patterns when he was deep inside her. She had no business getting aroused again after all the wonderful lovemaking she’d shared with Stony the past few hours, but desire stirred in her, anyway, just lying in his bed gazing up at the canopy.

  The open window let in the cool breeze of early morning and the murmur of the water going over the falls. The sound relaxed Daphne, yet heightened her senses, as if she could feel the water slipping over her body in a liquid massage.

  “I ought to be all played out,” Stony said from the doorway as he leaned there and pulled off his boots. Then he sauntered over to the bed and braced a hand on each side of her head. “But damned if I don’t want you again, seeing you lying here under that lacy thing, just like I pictured you.”

  She reached up and drew his head down. “I want you, too.”

  He resisted her. “I should shave first. And shower.”

  “No,” she whispered as the water lapped at the rocks outside the window.

  “Did you know your waterfall sounds like lovemaking?” he murmured.

  “Yes.”

  The stubble on his chin pricked as he took her mouth in a fully suggestive kiss. She liked him this way, unshaved, musky and thoroughly male. He grabbed a fistful of the sheet covering her and pulled it completely off the bed. Then he swept his hand over her, seeming to mimic the sound of the water as he stroked his palm over her skin and left fever in the wake of his touch.

  With no hesitation he slid his hand surely between her thighs. He slipped his fingers inside with the smooth certainty of what he would find, what he did find, that she was already drenched with arousal. She arched into his caress, moaning with the pleasure of it.

  With a sharp intake of breath he eased away from her and fumbled with the buttons of his jeans. She watched his impatient movements as he tugged the jeans off, and wondered if she and Stony would ever lose the urgency that seemed to drive them toward this glorious joining of two bodies...two souls.

  “The way I want you, you’d think I’d been away from you a week instead of thirty minutes.” He moved over her.

  Her body flushed with desire as she wrapped her legs around his, urging him closer. “I know what you mean.”

  “It’s as if...I want to drown in you....”

  She lifted her hips in invitation. “And I want you...to fill me. Please, Stony.”

  “Wait. We need—” He leaned toward the night table, opened the drawer and searched it. His breathing was ragged as he pulled the drawer out and it clattered to the floor. “Damn, where are they?”

  She panted with need as the melody of the waterfall promised exquisite pleasure. “I forgot to put them back. They’re in the living room. Oh, Stony...Stony, please!”

  He looked into her eyes and she pleaded silently for what only he could give her.

  He groaned. “The sound of the water is so...”

  “Fill me,” she whispered.

  Clenching his jaw, he pushed in deep.

  “Ohhh...” She’d had no idea lovemaking could feel like this, so liquid and supple. So absolutely, completely right. She opened to him in a way she never had to a man, arching upward with each thrust, her head thrashing from side to side as she cried out for more, more, more.

  And he gave her all she asked, creating the perfect rhythm that sent her soaring upward until her body grew taut and quivering. He paused, and with one powerful thrust sent them both over the edge.

  As her body erupted in a fiery, wondrous explosion, she could no longer hold back the words that had trembled on her lips all night. “I love you,” she cried softly. “I love you, Stony.”

  He closed his eyes and gulped in air.

  With growing dread she waited for him to speak. Finally she couldn’t stand it any longer. Her voice trembled. “Say something.”

  He opened his eyes and gazed down at her, his eyes reflecting his inner torture. He took a breath, and then another. Finally he eased away from her and rolled to his back.

  “Stony?”

  “No matter what I say, it won’t be what you want to hear.”

  She felt suddenly cold. “Why not? Stony, we’ve been as close as two people can be tonight, and I know you were feeling something pretty special.”

  He was silent for a long time, and when he spoke, the words came out like bullets. “I don’t love you.”

  The words went deep, wounding her in a way that might never heal. She tried to blunt the impact. “I don’t believ
e you.”

  “You think you know who I am, but you don’t. You know the guy Jasper made up in those letters, and that’s not me. I don’t have whatever’s inside people that makes them fall in love, get married, have a family. I know that’s the kind of guy you want, so you’d better stop wasting your time with me and go find him.”

  A robin chirped outside the window, and then another as the waterfall bubbled happily and the birds gathered there for a drink. The cheerful beginning of a new day mocked the desolation in Daphne’s heart. She thought about arguing with him. She could point to all the evidence that proved him wrong—his devotion to Jasper, his father, even his horse and his dog.

  But it didn’t matter if she could see the truth. If he refused to even look, then he might as well be just as coldhearted as he pretended to be. It amounted to the same thing in the end. Maybe eventually he would become the sort of unloving man he pictured himself, if he told himself those lies long enough.

  She slipped out of bed and left the room, her cheeks wet with silent tears. She wiped them away angrily. She didn’t have time to cry. She had a lot of packing to do.

  STONY LAY THERE a long time, listening to the sounds from Daphne’s room. From all the banging around in there, he figured she was probably packing. By tonight she’d be gone. And that was a good thing. He needed her to leave now, before things got any messier. And she needed to go, for her own good.

  He wondered where she’d end up. San Antonio, maybe. That way she could keep up with the clients she’d picked up while she was here. He thought of her looking for a place to live in San Antonio. She didn’t know anybody there. Some parts of town weren’t as safe as he’d like them to be. Damn, but he wished the tight feeling in his chest would go away.

  Finally he faced the part he didn’t want to think about. They’d just had sex without protection. What if he’d just made her pregnant? His gut twisted. She’d never tell him, not after that speech he’d delivered a few minutes ago. He couldn’t figure out why he’d let himself get carried away like that. He could have left the bed and located the box of condoms. Instead he’d allowed himself to sink right into her softness.

  The effect had been incredible, but he couldn’t think about that now. He’d never had sex without protection before, and he never would again. Why he’d acted so irresponsibly with this woman remained a mystery. But he had to deal with it.

  Sighing, he climbed out of bed and pulled on his briefs and jeans. The walk down the hall toward her bedroom felt like a condemned man’s last journey. He’d rather ride the meanest bull on the circuit than talk to Daphne now about this subject.

  He stood in the doorway of her little room. She’d put on a white bathrobe and she had her back to him as she grabbed things and threw them into the suitcase lying open on her bed. When he spoke her name, she whirled around. She’d been crying.

  He should have expected it, but the sight of her tear-streaked face sliced him to ribbons. But what was worse was the glimmer of hope in her dark eyes, hope he was about to dash.

  He cleared his throat. “What if you’re pregnant?”

  The hope died and she turned back to the suitcase. “I was the one who pushed you to make love without protection. I don’t hold you responsible, just myself.”

  “I could have refused.”

  Her laughter held no joy in it. “I had you bewitched with the feng shui waterfall. Nope, it’s my problem to deal with. If it turns out that I’m pregnant, which I’m probably not, I’ll handle it.”

  “How?” He couldn’t believe she’d get rid of the baby. That wasn’t like her.

  “None of your business.”

  “It is my business.”

  She spun around, and fury had replaced the hopeless look on her face. “You just told me you don’t have what it takes to be a family man. So you’ve given up your rights, in my opinion.”

  “I’m not talking about rights. I’m talking about financial obligation. I would...pay support, for you and the...baby.” He had a hard time getting the last word out. It seemed to lodge in his throat, and his heart was hammering like a son of a gun.

  Her chin lifted. “All right, if it would bother your conscience, I’ll take money. It’s pitiful that’s the best you have to offer in such a situation, but I suppose it wouldn’t be fair to the baby if I didn’t take at least that.”

  “So you’ll let me know?”

  “I’ll let you know.” Her expression grew bleak.

  He fought the urge to take her into his arms. But unless he planned to lie and tell her how much he loved her, unless he decided to marry her, he shouldn’t touch her ever again. “That’s settled, then. Guess I’ll go on down to the barn.”

  “I need a way to get to San Antonio today.”

  “I’ll ask Jasper to drive you.”

  “Thank you.”

  He stood looking at her and thought this might be the last time they’d ever see each other. A great black void seemed to open inside him at the thought. He experi- . enced a moment of panic that scared him so bad he knew he had to either leave the room or beg her to stay, as if he stood on the edge of a soft shale ledge, not sure if it would give way at any minute under his feet.

  Her expressive eyes lost their hard glitter and grew soft. She opened her mouth, as if to say something.

  He struggled for breath. “I gotta go,” he said, and bolted.

  “You DAMNED COWARD!” Jasper’s mustache twitched furiously as he paced back and forth in front of the bunkhouse. Periodically he glanced at the bright red door with its decorative wreath, as if to remind Stony of Daphne’s many talents.

  Stony had decided he might as well notify Jasper now that Daphne would need a ride to San Antonio, before Jasper settled into his work for the day. Stony had figured on Jasper being unhappy that Daphne was leaving, but he hadn’t judged correctly on how upset his foreman would be, or how many details of the breakup he’d pull out of Stony. The other wranglers were still inside and would probably stay there until Jasper’s fit blew over.

  “She has the guts to say she loves you, and you turn tail and run!”

  “I can’t give her what she wants,” Stony said, his jaw tight.

  “The hell you can’t!” Jasper jammed his Stetson down hard over his ears. “You’re plumb crazy about that woman, and you know it!”

  “I got used to her, is all. Once she’s been gone awhile, I’ll forget all about her.”

  Jasper glared at him. “The sickening thing is, that’s what I’m most afraid of. That woman woke you up, son, and if you let her go, there’s little hope for you. Oh, you’ll walk around and eat and sleep and play cards, but you won’t be a whole man, not by a long shot.”

  The black void that had opened up inside Stony as he stood looking at Daphne for the last time seemed to grow larger. He crossed his arms over his chest, as if he could squeeze the void back down to size. “You’re talking pure nonsense, Jasper.” He hoped Jasper couldn’t hear the slight tremble in his voice. “Some men are cut out for a wife and some aren’t. I’m not, and you just won’t accept that. And you’re ticked off because your little plan didn’t work.”

  Jasper’s eyes narrowed. “Oh, it worked. It worked too good. You’re in love for the first time in your life, and you’re just too scared to admit it.”

  “I don’t love her!” His sense of panic grew.

  Jasper got very quiet. “Just because your mama died don’t mean Daphne’s gonna die and leave you, too, Stevie.”

  He stared at Jasper as the blackness inside threatened to swallow him. His protest came out in a hoarse croak from his suddenly dry mouth. “That’s not my name.”

  “Used to be, back when you still had a heart.”

  He had to get out of there, and fast. “Have somebody check on Jolly Boy, and make sure Daphne gets to San Antonio before the day’s over.”

  “Is that an order...boss?”

  From the time they’d started working the ranch together, Stony had never given Jasper a direc
t order. He’d asked him to do a few things, and on the big jobs they’d discussed options, argued a few times and compromised on the final decision.

  “Yes,” Stony said. “That’s an order.” Then he headed for the barn to saddle Sunshine, the half-broken horse he’d been training. The challenge was just what he needed right now.

  JASPER STOOD IN THE living room waiting as Daphne fed Chi doggy treats in the kitchen and struggled to tell the dog goodbye. Stony had left the house while Daphne was still in shock, and adrenaline had carried her through the packing, but somehow saying goodbye to the retriever seemed like an impossible task.

  Finally she got to her knees and put her arms around the dog. “I wish I could take you with me,” she said, her voice choked with tears. “But I’ll be living in an apartment in the city and you’d hate that”

  Chi whined and licked Daphne’s face.

  “And besides, I guess...Stony needs you more than I do.” She buried her face in the dog’s fur and cried softly. “Take care of him, Chi. He won’t let me do it.”

  The dog’s sigh sounded almost human as she rested her muzzle on Daphne’s quivering shoulder.

  Finally Daphne released the dog and got shakily to her feet. “Goodbye, Chi.” She reached down to stroke the silky head once more before starting out of the kitchen.

  Chi followed her.

  “No, sweetheart.” Daphne motioned her back. “You have to stay here.”

  The dog flopped down and put her head on her paws as she gazed soulfully up at Daphne.

  Daphne’s heart broke as she turned away from the dog and marched into the living room. “Let’s go, Jasper.”

  He nodded and picked up her suitcase. Then he glanced at her. “This ain’t as heavy as when you first came.”

  “I threw away my book and materials on feng shui.”

  “Now, why’d you go and do a thing like that?”

  “Because it doesn’t work!” As if to emphasize the point, she reached down and yanked the plug on the extension cord powering the waterfall. Ignoring Jasper’s frown, she walked through the front doorway as he held the screen open for her.