by Sadie Savage
“He’s around back with the guys,” Crusher answered.
“Let him stay there. You and the others can ride; that’s not for me today,” he said and tossed the rag onto the seat.
Crusher stood looking at him for a few seconds before walking off. The man had a distant look in his eyes, one he had never seen before, and he could tell company would not be the thing he needed. “Alright,” he said. When he turned the corner Calvin heard him whistle, then a few murmurs, and later, the sound of thunder as all the engines came to life at once. Calvin watched the cloud of dust that followed them out of the yard, and then took out his phone absently.
Trisha hadn’t spoken to him in days; ever since he had discovered her pregnancy. He slid his hand across the phone to unlock the screen, and dial her number-one he knew by heart. But as usual, it rang and went straight to voicemail. He was not content with waiting on her to show up, and with his heart in his hand, he got on his motorcycle and sped to her home.
The woman who answered the door looked him up and down before responding to him. He surmised she must be her mother, since he had not met her before. “May I help you?” she asked.
“I’m here to…” the words fell short when he saw her approaching.
“Mama, it’s okay,” she said as she hurried down the hallway. “What are you doing here?” she asked him. She stood uncomfortably with the grocery bag across her midsection.
“Do you mind?” he asked as he held his hand out so he could to assist her.
She shifted on her legs and then nodded. He took the bag and followed her inside. Her mother was still sneaking looks at him, but she never volunteered an introduction. It took him by surprise when she ambled over to him.
“Are you the man who got my Trisha pregnant?” she asked directly. She stood there looking at him as she waited for the answer.
“Ma!” Trisha replied as she tried to shut her up.
“I want to know, because you already have a child without a father, so I want to know if this one will do better,” she said, as she folded her arms across her chest.
Calvin stood there, looking from one to the other and not knowing exactly how to respond. “I..” was all that came from him, so stricken was he with embarrassment.
“Well?” the woman asked as she looked him over. “You seem like a capable man, despite those ugly marks on your skin. Do you have any more children?” She was referring to the one tattoo on his forearm that was visible now that he wasn’t wearing a jacket.
Calvin had never undergone an inquisition but he suspected now what one must feel like. “No, ma’am,” he replied, as if choosing his words. “I had one.”
Trisha’s eyes went to him then, as he spilled information she had no knowledge of before. “Ma, just leave him alone,” she defended again. The woman made one last sweep before walking off, just as Aiden came running in. Calvin watched her leave with the toddler, and then he returned his attention to Trisha.
“I didn’t know you had a child,” she told him, as she turned her back to unpack the small parcel of groceries.
“There are many things you don’t know about me,” he replied and made his way over to her. “And even more you didn’t even bother to ask,” he said as he insinuated their unborn child.
“There is nothing to talk about,” she said.
“I think there is,” he said and forced her to face him. “Do you think you have to do this alone?”
“I think I might,” she told him, her voice suddenly getting shaky. “Look at you, and the life you live. It was a mistake to get so caught up, and now we have involved a baby into things and I…” She sighed, as the words died in the air. “I just don’t want to do this.”
“Are you hinting at something?” he asked accusatorily. He could tell in her voice she had been contemplating an abor…he couldn’t even bring himself to think the ugly word.
“I just think it would be better if…”
“Don’t even think about it Trisha,” he almost shouted. “This is my child too! My child! You have no right to do anything without talking with me. You don’t have to want him, but I do.” He was getting more emotional than he had ever known himself to be, and he could feel the fire growing to enormous proportions within him.
“So, what do I do?” she asked, tears coming to her eyes.
“Nothing,” he replied. “Just let me handle this.” He walked off then and she followed him to the door.
“What does that mean? Handle what?” she asked.
He stopped when he was in the hallway. Then he turned and looked at her, and she could see the hurt in his eyes. “Just don’t do anything without me.” And then he turned and walked away.
She stood there watching him as he opened the door to the stairwell and disappeared inside. She felt her mother come up behind her, which meant she had been listening all along too.
“How old is he by the way?” she asked.
“Ma,” Trisha replied in an irritated voice. “Just leave it alone.”
She followed her daughter back inside, and closed the door behind them. “I hope he was wrong,” she said.
Trisha pretended not to hear her, but she was already feeling ashamed of even having thought about it.
CHAPTER 10
The following days she was plagued with a sense of guilt and increasing anxiety. Her nausea had abated, if even for the moment, and she appreciated it. She was half expecting Calvin to show up later that night. But he didn’t. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw Johnny enter, and then some of the other men. But no Calvin. Immediately she thought that he must be angrier with her than she had assumed. She held her head down and was overly attentive to the glass she was wiping.
“Hey!” she heard someone shout. “Refill?” The man was banging his glass on the counter and seemed to have been trying to get her attention for some time.
“Sorry Reg,” she said and moved to the man.
“What’s got you so out of it?” he asked when she got to him.
“Just family issues,” she replied. She poured the drink without another word and he didn’t ask. She kept watching the door, but her hopes were constantly dashed when each time the door opened it admitted another person she was paid to serve.
What she couldn’t ignore was the weird looks she kept getting from his men. They didn’t say much, but they were less rowdy than usual. And that didn’t change for the following three days. On the third night since he had visited her home, she had all but given up hope of seeing him. It didn’t make any sense to her why he would have gotten so passionate before, only to disappear after. She didn’t need another day to make up her mind about what she needed to do, and come the following day she had a necessary trip to make.
Her feet dragged behind her as she crossed the busy intersection. Her mind was swirling when she got to the door to the doctor’s office. She stood there, rooted to the spot as her heart thumped in her chest.
“Are you coming in?” the security guard asked as he held the door back.
She looked at him blankly, almost as if she was looking right through him. Then she stepped back, and started sobbing as she hurried back to the corner. Her eyes were so wet with tears, and the sound growing louder in her head the longer she stood there, that she was blinded to everything else around her. She wheeled madly around when she felt someone touch her, and she blinked rapidly to clear the mist.
“Trisha,” he whispered when he saw her.
“Just go Calvin,” she told him. “As if I wasn’t confused enough, you have made things even worse for me.”
“Oh, but you have been mistaken,” he told her as he gripped her by the shoulders and turned her around to face him.
“You said you wanted this child, and then you don’t turn up. Is that what I’m to expect? Your mind swaying back and forth indefinitely?”
“Trisha, it wasn’t deliberate,” he defended. He let go of her and wiped his hand down his face. “I…this wasn’t an easy decision for me.”
He grabbed her by the arm and stopped her. “I gave it up,” he said.
She froze after he spoke, and then turned around. “Excuse me?” Her eyes were hopeful, but still reluctant to believe what she thought he was saying.
“That’s what I was doing these last few days,” he replied. “After I found out, I knew I couldn’t risk losing another child, and I knew you wouldn’t want me if I was still riding with the gang. So, I gave it up.”
Fresh tears stared springing into her eyes, and she quickly brushed them away. “Are you saying what I think you are saying?”
He smiled and took her face in his hand. “I want this,” he told her. “You, our baby, and everything in between.” She felt paralyzed, and then her knees started to buckle. He caught her when he saw her swoon, and pulled her to him. “I got you,” he told her.
They stood there on the pavement, at the corner of the street, and as the world went about its business, and the people passed them by, they remained fixed in the universe they had created. Calvin looked into her eyes, smoothed her check with the back of his index finger, and then his lips found hers. Trisha was never one to display emotions outwardly, or encourage public shows of affection. At the moment, she didn’t seem to mind doing either. She held onto Calvin, and received his kiss gladly. He crushed her to him, and transformed her earlier pain and anxiety to euphoric bliss.
When he let go the tears were still coming. He chuckled and wiped them away with his thumb. “You have a lot of those,” he joked.
She sniffled and leaned back. “I guess so,” she said.
He put his arms around her shoulder and led her away. “Come on, let’s get you home.”
The two walked off home, an unlikely duo, attracting the attention of a few passersby. But they were incognizant of it as they basked in their newfound happiness.
************
“What are the odds?” she asked Calvin as the two sat together on the park bench. Aiden was busy chasing the neighbor’s dog and rolling around as he lost the battle continuously.
“What?” he asked, a contented sound pervading his mood.
“That you and I would be sitting here, doing this,” she said and leaned so she could rest her head on his shoulder.
He lowered his head and kissed her forehead, and his hand moved over her stomach that was now six months old. She no longer held the job at the bar, for obvious reasons. Calvin had sold his apartment for a bigger one, and the two were to move in together the following week.
“Neither did I,” he replied eventually. “I mean, I knew I didn’t want to be the head of the Devils for too long, but I didn’t see this coming.”
Trisha sighed contentedly, and smiled as she watched her older child. Life would not be perfect, and she didn’t wish for it. But they had each other, and at the moment, she needed nothing else.
THE END
Outlaw’s Baby
Changing lanes turned out to be harder than she thought as Joy signaled to the sleepy, oblivious drivers surrounding her that her exit was coming up. She found herself suppressing a short burst of anger toward them, until finally someone waved her in front of them. She smiled appreciatively, startled to discover that it was a friend of hers from high school, Mary Anne Jenkins. They didn't have time to acknowledge their bond as Joy pulled in front of her, onto the exit that would lead her to her rural hometown.
She hadn't been back home in over ten years. She'd been desperate to get out of the small town where it seemed like nobody could possibly understand her. They were all so close minded and simple, and there was a whole world out there that they couldn't possibly imagine. She felt an ache in her chest as she drove, passing by familiar landmarks as if they were images from an ancient dream. She hadn't known how much she would miss it, spending all her time in the city, meeting one wrong man after another. It had been exciting in its way, the adventure and danger of being with somebody so unpredictable and passionate, but all of them turned out to be far too self-absorbed, and wound up hurting her.
When she phoned her sister and told her about where she was at—broke and stranded after a man had taken her for all she had and moved on to somebody else, her sister had been concerned.
“You've been away from home for far too long,” Kayla said. “You forget what you deserve if you're not around the people who treat you right. Why don't you come and stay with me for a while?”
The offer had made Joy cry, and the next day Kayla had wired her some money so that she could afford the trip back home. The asshole had robbed her blind. She'd thought he was different from the others, but he had been the worst one yet. His name was Gordon, and although he'd been sweet to her at first —they all were—it wasn't long before the viper in him came out. He was awful to her and had scarred her in more ways than one, especially the night he decided to take off with all of her things. She'd tried to defend herself but it hadn't gone well, and his looks had clearly told her that if she called the cops on him, they would find her and she wouldn't get away with it.
She shuddered as she pulled into Kayla's driveway, his face in her thoughts until the screen door opened, and a tiny child hurtled toward her car. This must be her niece, Penny, a three year old bundle of energy. Kayla was bounding out shortly after, swiping the toddler up swiftly and carrying her over her shoulder as she approached Joy's beat up old car. Joy couldn't believe the old sucker had managed to make it through the long journey.
“Joy!” Kayla exclaimed, pulling her sister into a bear hug. Penny squirmed and twisted so that she could hold tightly onto Joy's head. Joy normally didn't like children much, but the chubby little arms around her head melted her heart.
“Hi sweetheart,” she said to Penny, planting a small kiss on top of her head.
The little girl smiled shyly and buried her head into her mother's shoulder.
“How was your trip?” Kayla asked as they carried Joy's few belongings into the house.
“It was long. I didn't expect what they did to that park. It's kind of sad,” Joy said.
“Yeah, they did that a while ago. I felt sad when I saw it the first time too. But you know, times change. They needed to do some maintenance and make sure none of the kids got hurt.”
“We never got hurt!” Joy exclaimed.
“Well, you know hover moms,” Kayla said with a wink, setting Penny down. Penny, a bundle of pure energy, was moving immediately, running into her little bedroom.
“Thank God you're not like that,” Joy said, sighing.
“She deserves to learn as much about the world as she can,” Kayla said with a shrug. “If you don't let them explore, it hurts them. Simple as that.”
“Yeah...”
Their conversation lulled as Joy looked around the living room. There was a picture of Kayla with her ex-husband Daniel holding a baby Penny between them. Kayla saw her looking and smiled sadly.
“It's not fair for Penny if I don't keep that up. She still loves us both.”
Kayla nodded as if she understood, but she couldn't imagine how hard that must have been for Kayla.
“I would never be able to keep a picture of an ex up on my wall,” Joy said, shaking her head.
“It's for the baby,” Kayla said with a shrug. “Besides, I like remembering that she came from a time of love, not the part that came afterwards. Anyway speaking of exes, did you hear about Zak?”
Zak. Joy pulled to mind the image of scrawny Zak from high school, the only boy who had ever understood her rebellious spirit. He wasn't the most popular, being the class clown and always jumping in the middle of fights caused by bigger and stronger boys. He was always sporting a black eye from this or that, hoping to protect the kids who didn't deserve to be bullied. Unfortunately that got him bullied too. He had been cute, though. And clever. He was her first crush.
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“No, what about him?” she asked, worried that something bad may have happened to him. She could tell by the glimmer in her sister's eye that it was probably unlikely, but she couldn't help but worry.
“Well, he's changed,” Kayla said mysteriously.
“How has he changed?” Joy asked.
“He's an outlaw,” Kayla said.
“An outlaw?! How did that happen?”
“You'd probably never recognize him on the streets if you passed him. He's bulked up a lot, put some meat on those bones. If you hadn't left right after high school, you would have been shocked. Anyway, I guess he fell into the wrong crowd, and now they kind of hole up at the edge of town, acting like they own the place. I don't know what kinds of things he does, but the cops pretend he's not there. Probably paid them off or something.”
“Wow, I never would have guessed that. He had such a gentle way about him,” Joy said, her curiosity burning. She would have to avoid him, though. If the past ten years in the city had taught her anything, it was that bad boys were not for her.
“I know, it surprised us all. But you can see him riding around here on his motorcycle, scaring people into doing what he wants. I don't know how that happened, he used to be so reasonable.”
“Things definitely do change,” Joy said thoughtfully, gazing into the distance.
“Here!” Penny shouted. She had suddenly appeared from her bedroom, carrying an armful of her favorite toys. She dumped them into Joy's lap, her blue eyes shining.
“Thank you,” Joy said with a laugh. That had been unexpected
“She likes to share with people,” Kayla said apologetically, after Penny had disappeared again to rummage through her closet in case she forgot anything. “Especially people with good hearts.”
“How would she know that?” Joy asked.