by Sadie Savage
“Kids just know,” Kayla said. They sat in silence and Joy sighed, reflecting on this and wondering if it was true.
Chapter 2
Staying with her sister brought back all kinds of old memories, and Joy found herself feeling more like herself than she had in the past ten years. They would stay up late gossiping and watching movies, taking turns playing with Penny and taking care of her. It was nice for Kayla to have a hand with baby responsibilities, and it was refreshing for Joy to be around people who didn't expect anything from her. She had been feeling depleted around others, but with these two, she could feel herself slowly starting to heal.
Penny adored her, which was strange. She had always assumed kids wouldn't like her, but maybe that was because she had never been around many of them. She found herself warming up to the idea of motherhood the more she stayed with Kayla and Penny. They would always have each other, a friend who loved them through thick and thin. There was nothing more beautiful than that, she decided, and then laughed off the thought. It's not like she would have a chance to be a parent any time soon. She was going to take a long break from men, because with the way things were going lately, they would be nothing but bad news.
“Joy, Penny and I are having dinner with Daniel tonight,” Kayla said, walking into the room as she put in an earring. “We do that sometimes. It's better to keep things civil, kind of stay in each other's lives. It helps Penny to see us getting along, and we can talk about how to take care of her the best, you know.”
“Oh wow, that's pretty mature of you,” Joy said with a laugh. “Will Rebecca be there?”
Kayla made a face and Joy laughed. Rebecca was Daniel's new girlfriend.
“No, we decided it would be best if Penny didn't meet her unless they got serious. It would just confuse her.”
“Smart move,” Joy said with a nod, and Kayla smiled at her.
“Anyway, as always feel free to help yourself to whatever's in the fridge. Or you could go out, the old diner is still open. We'll be back kind of late so don't worry about that. We're going to the movies afterward.”
“Okay, no problem,” Joy said.
When Kayla and Penny were gone, the house seemed too quiet. Ever since she had arrived, she had been constantly surrounded by them. If Kayla was at work, she was home with Penny. If there were errands to run, they went together. It was like old times, fun and exciting. It was nice to have a sister again.
But without Penny or Kayla, the house was too quiet and Joy began to feel like an outsider. She worried about how long she would be able to stay there without becoming a burden. She didn't have an income yet, though Kayla had gotten her a bunch of applications from shops around town. Joy had dutifully filled them out, and was waiting for Kayla's next day off, when they would go out on the town, return the applications, and treat Penny to ice cream.
The more she thought about the old diner, the more curious she got. Once her stomach began to grumble and she felt hungry she picked up her brown leather jacket and tossed it on, hopping into her old car and heading toward the diner. She knew the way by heart, even though she had never been to Kayla's house before. The small town was surrounded by countryside, and only a couple of streets boasted shops. There was the main street, where most things were, and the diner was a bit further off, near the turnpike so that it could attract out of towners on the road and looking for some lunch.
Chapter 3
Joy hummed as she drove, her mind turning back to how strange it was that she was in her hometown again. Everything had seemed frozen in time in her mind, and when she noticed that something had changed, anything, she felt a protective surge. How dare they change her town? Although she had been desperate to disown it and get as far away as possible, it was still where her roots were, and she wanted it to stay the same way that it had been imprinted into her mind.
Her favorite song on the radio began to play and she turned up the volume, singing along, feeling great as she soared down the country roads. She loved doing this as a teenager, there seemed to be no laws out on the open road, and she enjoyed feeling like she was completely alone, free to do as she pleased. The cops were rarely patrolling the country roads on the town’s outer limits, so she felt a rebellious old urge, familiar from her past, to speed her car up. She put pressure on the gas pedal and allowed herself to zoom down the road, singing her song loudly. She paused at a stop sign and glanced both ways before accelerating again.
Unfortunately, her car stalled. She cursed and tried to turn the engine over, but it didn't work. She was stranded.
“At least it's not too cold,” she told herself with a sigh, unbuckling her seatbelt to climb out of the car and lift up the hood of her car so she could take a look at her engine. Unfortunately she didn't have a clue what she was looking for, or even what she was looking at. She didn't have a cell phone, Gordon had stolen that from her too, and so she couldn't call out for help. All she could do was sit there, hoping somebody might notice her there. Or she could walk, but it would be a long walk, and if anybody stole her car, the last of her worldly possessions, she was sure to have a breakdown.
She decided to stick with her clunky old car, and climbed back into the driver's seat. She put the four way lights on dutifully, hoping that somebody would pass soon to help her. The idea seemed impossible though – especially after living in the city for so long where nobody trusted anybody else, and for good reason. She decided to give it an hour of waiting before heading out to get some help.
She tried to keep her mood light, knowing it wouldn't help anything if she got upset. Unfortunately as the hour ticked by, she ran out of ways to amuse herself and sighed. She locked her car doors and began walking. It seemed a little dangerous, but she had a can of pepper spray tucked into her coat pocket and had taken self-defense classes after one of her terrible boyfriends had decided to sucker punch her one day for not doing what he said. After years of dating good for nothing men, she felt like she could take care of herself.
As she walked, the temperature grew cooler and she shivered even though it was summer. She tried to distract herself by staring up at the moon. She hadn't seen the sky so clearly in years and years, and the bright glistening stars above her were enchanting. She paused, stopping suddenly to watch a shooting star fall through the sky. It was mesmerizing, and she found herself wishing subconsciously for somebody to help her.
A rumble of an engine met her ears and she turned around, squinting into the headlights of a motorcycle. It slowed to a stop, pulling over to the side of the road. The dark silhouette of a mammoth man stepped off the bike and walked toward her, his bootfalls heavy and clinking. He must have been wearing chains.
“That your car back there?” he called out, squinting at her. When he was close enough to make her out he stopped moving, his breath caught in his throat.
“Joy?” he asked incredulously.
She would have known that voice anywhere.
“Zak...”
The two of them stood staring at each other in the motorcycle's headlights. Finally, he shook his head with a laugh.
“When did you get here?” he asked, his voice rolling with pleasure and suppressed laughter. It was a sound she knew well – he was sincerely pleased to see her.
“About a week ago,” she said, walking forward. “I heard you're an outlaw now.”
Now he let his laughter escape from his lips, strong and rumbling, piercing her. She was finally close enough to see him and eyed him up and down. Kayla hadn't exaggerated – Zak had definitely put on some muscle. His arms were hard and his face had grown chiseled and lean. Whatever baby fat he'd had the last time she'd seen him had melted into a firm, handsome face and grown and expanded into rippling muscle. She couldn't take her eyes off of him. He'd grown a short beard, groomed tightly to his face, his dark hair grazing his shoulders.
She noticed a tattoo of a snake around his huge bicep and she looked into his brown eyes, still gentle but with a hint of steeliness that hadn't been the
re before. It gave her the same feeling as seeing the old park being renovated had given her – a tightening of the chest, but this time, there was more. She was intrigued, wildly attracted to him. She suddenly found herself wanting to know everything – how he had become the way he was. What had happened to him while she was gone?
“Yeah, in a manner of speaking. I prefer to see it as I don't take shit anymore.”
His deep voice found her in the dark, and she moved a bit closer to him. His eyes were dancing in the moonlight.
“So is that your car or what?”
“Yeah,” Joy said. “That's my piece of junk.”
Zak hopped on his motorcycle and she felt a pang of panic. Was he going to abandon her here, the same way she had abandoned him so long ago for a life in the city? But he just grinned at her.
“Hop on. Let me give you a lift.”
Would it be safe for her to get on the bike with him now that he was an outlaw? An outlaw who might feel like she had double crossed him? He had seemed to understand when she broke up with him, and gave her that same adventurous smile he had on now.
“Conquer the world, babe,” he'd said to her then. And she felt that he'd meant it. If he knew what she had really done – been used and abused by every man she'd been with since him – he would be sorely disappointed in her.
“Thanks,” she said, getting reluctantly on the bike. This was going to be interesting.
Chapter 4
“You ever been on one of these before?” he asked her.
“No,” she said, sitting close against him. Gordon had a motorcycle but he had never let her near it. She shook the memory of him away, suddenly very aware of the raw masculine power exuding from Zak. His spicy scent surrounded her, and she found herself fighting the urge to kiss him behind the ear like she would have done ten years ago.
“Right. Well just hold on tight, I won't let you go flying off anywhere. If you get scared just say so. You might have to shout. Keep your feet up.”
He reached behind himself and gripped her hands in his, pulling them around his thick, muscled torso and not releasing them until she was gripping him tightly. The nearness of his body was surprisingly intimate, and she was glad that it was dark and she was behind him, or he would have seen the deep blush crossing her cheeks. That was something private, something that she was not ready to share with this man, who she thought she had known so well. Now it turns out they were perfect strangers.
The whirring of the motorcycle engine filled the air, they attempted to have a conversation as they drove. She would yell close to his ear, and his deep voice would be carried by the wind to her.
“So where were you heading tonight?" he shouted.
“I want to go to the old diner for dinner, I hadn't been there in so long and Joey's fries sounded perfect. That's out of the question now, they're probably closed or something. Everything around here seems to have changed.”
“Not necessarily," he said.
To her surprise, he speed up the motorcycle and before she knew they were parking in the parking lot of the old diner. She didn't know how she felt about having dinner with outlaw, but there was so much that she wanted to ask him about his new life, and it had been so surprisingly intimate to be with him on the motorcycle. She was reluctant to part his company, and found herself grateful for the excuse to spend more time with him and have a conversation where she wouldn't have to shout for him to hear her.
“Joy!” Joey exclaimed. “I haven't seen you in years. Come now, order anything you'd like on the house.”
Joey simply nodded at Zak, and returned to waiting on a couple who were at the counter.
Zak and Joy sat down comfortably at a booth, the same one they used to use in high school.
“This brings back memories," Joy said with a smile.
“Yeah,” Zak said. “Hey, isn't this where you dumped me?"
She looked up at him, her face falling in surprise and shame, but he was grinning and his tone was playful.
“Anyway, that was a long time ago. That doesn't matter. I'm really proud that you were able to go out and live your life. It's not something that most people from this stupid town are able to do.”
“Honestly sometimes I wish I would have just stayed put. You know they say curiosity killed the cat?”
He nodded.
“You've had a rough go at it, huh?” he asked her, his eyes suddenly gentle and serious.
“That's one way to put it,” she said.
“Well for now try to forget about that stuff. I want to hear about the good stuff. There must have been something you loved about your freedom right? Otherwise you wouldn't have stayed out there so long.”
Zak was right about that. She looked at him, searching her mind for the things she thought he might want to hear about.
“I loved that nobody knew who I was, or had any expectations of how I should act because of it. I was never confined by anybody else's rules. Except maybe the cops," she said with a laugh. His voice rumbled with deep laughter, and she realized how much she had missed him. “Tell me about you. Rumor has it you’re a no good outlaw. But what does that mean exactly? Am I going to get in trouble just for sitting here talking to you? Is a cop going to show up and arrest you?”
His eyes sparkled and his lips pursed into a small mischievous smile. She recognized the look from when he was about to beat her at a hand of cards, and he was happy but felt guilty about it because he wanted her to win too.
“I'm not sure you could handle all that over one little dinner," he said with a wink. “Besides, it's bad dining etiquette to talk about your felonies over the table.”
“I see. The strong silent type. How mysterious," she said wryly.
“Well, you don't really have to worry about me getting arrested. Me and the cops have kind of an understanding. I can help them do their job a little bit better than they can, and nobody around here causes trouble because we take care of things. We want to keep this town clean, so that's what we do, no questions asked. I do have a warrant out in a few other counties though, so I've got to keep my head down. Otherwise, I'm free as a bird."
“That sounds interesting. Thank you,” she said as Joey brought her huge plate of fries. Her stomach rumbled loudly and the three of them laughed as she dug into it immediately. It seemed that he remembered her favorite order and swiftly followed by bringing out her favorite cheeseburger and beer for Zak.
They quietly studied each other as she ate. He was thicker, but not fat. He had developed some strong, lean muscles and a chiseled face. His blonde hair looked really good grown out to his shoulders like that, and she found herself fighting the urge to touch it and tuck it behind his ears. He was wearing a cut off leather vest and a tight white V-neck T-shirt that showed off his strong pecks. His green eyes followed her wherever she went, the same way he would study her while they were dating in high school.
“So what is it like being back?” He finally asked her once she had cleared most of her plate.
“I've been staying with my sister and my niece,” she replied.
“Oh, I see them around sometimes. Your sister has a really cute baby.”
“Thank you, I think so too.”
Joy remembered fondly that Zak had a very soft spot for children. It seemed so strange that he would be a criminal now. She wondered what kinds of crimes he was involved in, but she was glad to know that he was keeping the town clean. His brother had overdosed and died when they were kids, so she could understand why he would take it upon himself to keep drugs out of their town. She just couldn’t fathom how he might do something like that, not the sweet kid that she had known so long ago.
She couldn't tell what he was thinking, but she had his full attention. The way he looked at her made her feel exposed, naked and vulnerable. It was nothing like the way they had looked at each other as kids. Both of them were more experienced now, with everything, and had become the people they always dreamed of being. She had taken a lot of effort to chan
ge as much about herself as she could, and she could tell that he had done exactly the same thing. He had seen himself as vulnerable and weak, and he had done whatever he could to change that.
Now he was feared and respected all over town, when most people had not even known his name. It was quite a difference, and for some reason, she had never been more attracted to anybody in her life. She wondered if it was just because of their history together, but she couldn't get enough of him. The way he looked at her and laughed. His strong, capable hands taking hers and squeezing them as if he could read her thoughts. His deep, soothing voice and the gentleness of his green eyes, the ferocity of his body and the way those eyes could harden in a heartbeat. She never wanted her meal to end.
He seemed to feel the same way. After they left the diner, they lingered under the moonlit sky in front of his motorcycle, quietly contemplating the strangeness of being so near to each other once again.
“Where should I drop you off?” Zak asked finally, after riding around in silence for a couple of blocks. They were both enjoying the peaceful night air and he hadn't wanted to ruin that. “I don't really know where your sister lives these days. I don't make it my business to stalk people the way some small towners seem to do.”
“Well, you could take me to the mechanic's, I can pay for them to tow the car and then call my sister to pick me up.”
“All right,” he said with a smile. They lingered for another couple of seconds, neither of them wanting to ruin the still perfection of the space between them.
Finally, he mounted the bike, waiting patiently for her to sit behind him. She did, wrapping her arms intimately around his waist. She felt him tense up at her touch and then relax into it, sighing softly before he started his bike and took off down the road.
As he drove, the air felt cool and soothing on her hot skin. She laid her head heavily on his back, imagining how different her life might have been if she had just stayed put in her rural hometown and allowed him to marry her and make her the happiest housewife on the block. It just wasn't a fate she could envision for herself. Although it seemed to work well for her sister, she just didn't think that it was what she wanted. It seemed that she was missing something; the urge to settle down with a man and live a normal life that the other girls seemed to share was something that she never had.