by August Red
She rolls her eyes, smiling. "Yes, I am. Though, it's probably a mistake to over-inflate that huge ego of yours any further. Your head might explode."
He laughs freely and the sound is rich and genuine. When he catches his breath, they’ve reached her door. He stops and holds her hand as he faces her. "I enjoyed tonight as well. Thank you for not being difficult." Is she really hearing this? Is he really thanking her? The few bottles of beer he finished tonight must have gone to his head.
Judas needs to leave. Now. Before his good-looks and charm make her do something rash, like grabbing him by his shirt and shoving him into her bedroom. She smiles in spite of herself, as the idea sends a firework of shivers up her spine. Noticing that he has yet to let go of her hand, she rests her back against her door. "No problem... Um... Goodnight."
Judas releases her hand, enjoying one last appreciative glance before he abruptly steps forward and drops a quick kiss, not quite centered, on her mouth. He pulls away, and before she can say something, he flashes her a teasing, disarming grin. "Sweet dreams, Belle." With that, he backs away, disappearing into the recesses of his bedroom. Belle dashes into her own room, falling back against her door as fast as she closes it.
His tender goodnight has literally left her undone.
She is so dead.
Belle slumps with her back pressed against the wood of her door as she tries to quiet her shallow hitching breaths. She’s shaken, but exhilarated at the same time.
After finally catching her breath, she pushes off the door, and falls backwards onto her bed. She does nothing but stare at the high rafters of the ceiling as her mind continues to race.
Judas. Beautiful, stunning, heartless and dark Judas.
In an attempt to get her mind off him, she gets up and undresses into her chemise. After freshening up, she tries to sleep. But, as she lies in the darkness, her mind buzzes with a frenzy of thoughts. She’s assaulted by the memory of his hands on her body, his smooth alluring voice, and his heart-stopping kisses. Faster and faster, the barrage of thoughts circulate, and her entire being thrums with the need to know.
How does he really feel about her?
Peace will never come until she knows the answer.
Whether she keeps her feelings buried deep inside, or comes clean, it no longer matters. The damage is already done. Either Judas will break her heart or he won’t. And what does it matter anyway, if she gives into her feelings? She’s already suffering. She may as well confront him and get it over with. At the very least she’ll know the truth of his intentions, and if they weren't so honorable, she will face the pain, deal with her grief, and get on with her life.
She wrings her hands; all this uncertainty is killing her. She tosses and turns, nearly going out of her mind with longing for him, her body now ruthlessly awakened.
She can just ask him, point blank, what he feels for her. He opened up to her a little tonight. There’s a fair chance of learning the truth. But then a sinking dread fills her. His role in her life is not permanent. When the deal ends, she will leave. A new anguish touches her heart as she realizes that once this is all over, she’ll never see Judas again. Reason tells her that she should be relieved to rid herself of her captor, but that’s not at all how she feels. Instead, she only feels one emotion.
Misery.
She flings her covers aside, and pads bare-foot across the marble flooring, only stopping when she stands face to face with the door that leads to his bedroom. Biting her lower lip, she brings her fist up to knock, but the door opens slightly on its own accord. Having already made up her mind, she steps inside of Judas’ bedroom.
Belle doesn’t want to leave and always wonder.
And for the first time in her life, it’s time to stop.
Stop hiding.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
"JUDAS, CAN WE TALK. I—”
A soft gasp escapes from between her lips and her words die in her throat.
The glass doors are wide open, and Judas is leaning back against the edge of his bath. His arms rest along the edge, and in one hand, he’s holding a glass of amber liquor. Her traitorous eyes appraise his glistening chest and his well-defined arms.
A work of art.
Steam is rising from the surface of the water, and a smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth. She stops breathing as she takes him in. He exudes a sort of lazy, confident power, coolly regal even in his state of undress.
His eyes drink in the startled look on her face. Belle can do nothing but gawk at him as her mind completely shuts down, his intense heated gaze causing a sort of sensory overload.
Judas.
Naked.
And very, very wet.
His gaze is smoldering. "Join me." His voice is thick and seductive, and his words shock her body back into action. Red-faced, she averts her eyes.
"Oh... sorry… I... uh... It can wait... I... I'll just go..."
She turns to leave, but she can’t find the door handle. "Must be important to barge in on me when I’m naked."
Realizing she isn’t getting out the way she came in, she turns, slowly. "No really, I... It can wait... I shouldn't have disturbed you."
She’s losing her nerve.
He swirls the contents of his glass, takes a sip, and his eyes rake over her form as if savoring her appearance along with the taste of his drink. "You haven’t. Join me in a drink."
She makes the mistake of looking at him as she breathlessly repeats, "A drink?" Meeting his smoldering gaze, she can’t tear her eyes away. He is so good at making her feel unsure of herself.
Judas’ eyes hold hers, his expression sinister as he taunts, "Yeah. Have a drink... and join me." He rests his arms on the edge of the tub.
Her eyes betray her command to not move, and they drop to peruse his wet torso. Oh God, he’s the very personification of temptation, and she swears she sees flames dancing in his eyes.
He has to be the Devil.
Trying to fight the temptation, she feels the pull of desire to give in. "I... I... don't think that's such a good idea..."
His gaze settles on hers as he swirls his drink. "Belle... what’d you want? Obviously something made you come into my room just now." His tone is playful, almost recklessly casual.
Her eyes dart to the nearly empty glass in his hand. "You... You're drunk... I mean, you've been drinking."
He arches an eyebrow. "I’m not drunk. It takes a lot for me to lose control." His eyes watch her as though she is his next meal.
Crossing her arms over her chest, she chokes out, "That's good... But really, it's late. I, uh... guess I'll just be going..."
Belle hurries to the other side of the room, heading toward the other door. "Wait. You didn’t answer my question."
She tries to open the main door, but it’s locked. Whirling to face him, she snaps, "I said it can wait. Can you just let me out, please."
She watches him cross his arms on the edge of the tub and rest his chin on top, smiling flirtatiously as he continues to stare at her with his penetrating gaze. "Tell you what, I'll let you out on one condition."
"Wh-What condition?"
"That you tell me what you really came in here for."
Realizing that there’s no sense in arguing, she sighs, "All right. Fine."
"Good. Now get in the bath."
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me. If you want to leave, you answer my question." Silkily, he finishes, "In my bath."
"You want me to get in the bath with you?"
His eyes never leaves hers. "Yeah."
His eyes continue to stalk her, and her insides lurch at the idea that he’s waiting for her to undress. He may be comfortable with his nudity, but she’s always been self-conscious of her body. There is no way she is going strip down in front of him. She has to draw the line somewhere.
"I'm not taking off my clothes, if that's what you're thinking."
A slight smile graces his face as he backs away, reaching the far end of the bath to give h
er some space. "Suit yourself."
What choice does she have?
I’ll get my answers one way or another, and if that means bathing with you, then so be it.
She immediately makes her way through the glass doors, not allowing enough time for her nerves to kick-in, and climbs onto the first stone step beneath the surface of the hot water.
Her eyes flicker up to regard Judas as she descends down into the bath, the steaming water enveloping her calves, easing her tense muscles. Higher and higher it climbs, sending a shiver of pleasure through her as it creeps like liquid fire between her legs. The warmth of it engulfs her as she sinks down to her chest, leaning against the edge of the bath opposite Judas. The wet fabric of her white chemise clings to her moist skin. She sinks lower in the water as she’s pretty sure that her breasts are visible through the wet material.
What was she thinking wading into his bath with nothing on but a white chemise? What was she thinking coming here in the first place? He’s in complete control of the situation, and the realization makes her very, very nervous.
Judas’ eyes drop to skim over her wet chest before they dart back to her face. He drains his glass, then sets it aside. "So, Belle. What do you want from me?"
Belle swallows, hoping that her voice doesn’t sound as frightened as she feels. "I-I can’t do this anymore, Judas. We both know there’s an attraction between us and it’s..." She finds his penetrating stare unnerving, so she looks away as she continues, "I need to know...” She risks a glance at him as the words die in her throat before she finally finishes, “...how you really feel about me." She can practically feel the weight of his gaze.
Judas seems to consider the question carefully. Finally he purses his lips before asking, "How do you feel about me?"
"I asked you first."
There’s a hint of amusement in his voice as he replies, "I'll answer. But you go next."
Her eyes boldly meet his as she nods. "Fair enough."
He pushes off from the side, slowly coming toward her. "You certain you really wanna know?" His tone is dark but seductive, and his intensity holds her still as he approaches, a slight nod being all she can manage. He stalks closer, his mouth twisting into a devastatingly seductive smirk. “When we met—thought you a spoiled brat… But...” His eyes stray to her lips as he adds, "...something about you. You stood up to me, Belle. No-one ever does. But you did." He leans in as he goes on, "Thought I was gonna die at one point that night... And then I saw you... You looked like an angel." His eyes peruse the surface of the water, just over her breasts, and then she sees something click in his eyes. Something deadly. "It’s beyond me why you helped me without knowing who I am, what I have, what I can give you.” The ferocity in his eyes is startling. “You’ve made me do things I shouldn’t have, Belle.”
Belle chokes back the fear that starts to well up within her. She has no idea where this is going, and she is more than a little scared. Judas is so unpredictable.
Is he angry, or is he just toying with her? Her mind suddenly feels fuzzy, and her face feels as though it’s on fire. More than a little rattled, she fights the dizziness as she tries to escape his advance.
To no avail.
He advances closer, trapping her between himself and the edge of the bath. She flattens her back against the tub as he stalks closer, desperately trying to escape him.
"I lied to Vladimir for you." His tone is chastising, yet unspeakably enticing. Harshly, he finishes, "Your father was my job but you got in the way of everything. You’ve taken over my life." Suddenly his voice takes on a dangerous tone, and she shudders. He leans forward, closing the distance between them, and breathes near to her skin, "I’ve always been in control. I’ve always known what I am—a killer. But you..." She savors the heady scent of scotch as his warm breath drifts over her cheek. He leans a little closer and whispers in a voice laced with regret and anger, "…somehow… somehow you seeped into my soul and all I wanna do is protect you. No matter the goddamn cost.”
Her heart begins to pound in her chest, and sweat begins to prick her brow as the truth suffocates her.
Is this what you’ve been hiding from me? Your real feelings for me?
It is. And it’s torturing him. She can see it clear-as-day. And it all clicks in place then.
So this is what you meant when you said to me in the basement, ‘What you’ve done to me…’
I’ve caused you pain too...
Is this why Judas has been trying to get her to surrender to him? A way of gaining back the control he lost when he met her? Was he scared of rejection? Of getting hurt? It does explain his cold façade. His way to hide the man she had fallen for. Judas once said he didn’t deserve much, that he’s a monster, that his world is evil... Maybe he thinks he doesn’t deserve her for the things he’s done, and being cruel is his way of keeping his heart away from her. To protect her from him, maybe…
He buries his face into the crook of her neck, and it feels like a thousand butterflies explode inside her tummy. “I know you’ll destroy me but I can’t stop,” he growls throatily. “You’re just an eighteen-year-old girl and yet you still fuck me up inside.” Suddenly he draws back, his darkened eyes meeting hers. They seem bitter, wounded somehow, and the sight makes her heart ache, just as it makes her body tremble. “The one thing I want, I can’t have,” he bites out, his voice afflicted with bitter anguish. He leans in, the tip of his nose brushes teasingly against her cheek as he gruffly whispers, “That doesn’t sit well with me.” He moves to just barely brush his lips over hers in the most provoking manner.
Belle's body goes rigid at his intrusion and the implications of his words. She feels as though it’s been an eternity since she had last drawn breath. It seems her heart has stopped, and it takes a great deal of effort for her to hear what he whispers into her hair next. His voice is thick with emotion as he says, "But I always get what I want, Belle." Her eyes close in slow agony as his lips find her ear and he breathes raggedly, "You’ve turned my whole world upside down." A torrent of emotion rises within her as his mouth moves over her cheek. His lips drop to graze her jaw as he finishes, tortured beyond breaking point, "There’s nothing I've wanted more and I'll be damned before I let you go."
His hands are suddenly cradling her face and Belle is unable to hold back any longer. She turns, parting her lips as she collides her mouth under his. There is nothing gentle or innocent about the way she kisses him. It’s a kiss of utter desperation; long, fervent, and achingly deep. Her palms slide up, slowly over his wet chest. He groans fervently against her mouth. She rests her arms on his shoulders, and nothing in the world can feel more right.
Judas deepens the kiss, stirring his need further, his tongue stroking provocatively against hers. The kiss reaches a frightening intensity, as his fingers bury themselves in her hair. The power of the kiss is undeniable, and it shakes her. Judas’ need for her is insatiable, the ache so acute, that it startles and disorients her.
He pulls back suddenly, as though her touch is toxic to his flesh. "This isn’t the time to tease, Belle," he warns, breathlessly. The urgency in his voice and the torment in his eyes, make it clear.
He is deadly serious.
"I can’t control myself around you so you should leave. Now," he rumbles.
She stares at him as she witnesses his struggle to maintain his restraint. The revelation that he’s in such turmoil over his desire for her, moves her like nothing ever has.
To turn away… is impossible.
Suddenly, he no longer seems the callous, hard-hearted man she’s come to hate. In this moment, she sees something new in Judas Bane; an intense sort of desperation. In this moment, she sees a glimpse of what’s lurking behind his mocking, self-assured exterior, and it jolts her. She sees a man who’s been tormented, someone who is suffering. Someone who is also standing on the edge of the cliff with her.
He looks exhausted as he stares back at her, a tortured look in his eyes, like a man who is starving, or dying
of thirst. It becomes perfectly clear then. This is no villain she’s dealing with; for how can someone who looks at her with such intense longing ever be her enemy?
His desire over her, moves her. And she is so tired of fighting her feelings. Looking into his eyes, seeing his soul—even for a second—gives her the answer she has been looking for tonight.
It’s time to put an end to all this misery.
Belle leans in and brushes her lips over the corner of his mouth as she murmurs, "I'm not leaving." Glancing up at him, she savors the look of astonishment on his beautiful face. “You’re not the monster you think you are. There is good in you.” His eyes stray a little away from her, torn. “Judas. No, Judas. Look at me. I get it now. You just need someone to have a little faith in you.”
If this is her only chance to be with him, then she’s willing to risk losing herself in Judas.
“You are worth so much more,” she murmurs hotly. It suddenly seems as if everything is moving in slow motion. “I need you,” she says on a whispery gasp. Belle lightly kisses his mouth and breathes, "And I'm not going anywhere tonight." Her lips gently brush against his a second time, as she adds in a low, enticing whisper, "Except your bed." Her darkened eyes rise to meet his. "I am so tired of being afraid. Of hiding. Pretending you aren't everything I've ever dreamed of—"
She’s unable to finish as Judas pulls her roughly, almost violently to him. His mouth comes crashing down upon hers, her words smothered by his fiercely possessive kiss. The excitement that tears through every fiber of her body is so overwhelming, that it is beyond frightening.
It’s crippling.
His kiss is deep, turning hungry as he devours her mouth. His arms tighten around her, locking her in place against his body. Her chemise is the only barrier between them, and in its saturated state, it’s flimsy at best. The feel of his hard hot naked body against her, causes a delicious shockwave that shakes her to her core.
His tongue invades her mouth, stroking provocatively against hers, causing a thrilling flutter within her stomach. Her mind is no longer capable of forming rational thoughts. She returns the kiss with a growing passion and her arms wrap around his neck. As her hot mouth melds with his, his touch becomes greedy. His hands roam impatiently over her back, his fingers kneading the soft flesh of her hips in encouragement. She deepens the kiss, sliding her tongue against his. Judas groans as his arms tighten, and he lifts her, crushing her against him.