The Arabian Nights (New Deluxe Edition)
Page 29
It is related, O King, that Ja’far said to the caliph:
The eunuch sat down; though his belly was full with what he had already eaten and drunk. ’Ajib dipped a piece of bread in the pomegranate dish and took a bite but found the food insipid, for he too was full. He said, “Bah; what is this awful stuff?” His grandmother was astonished and said, “Son, do you find fault with my food? I cooked it myself, and no cook can compare with me, except my son Badr al-Din Hasan.” ’Ajib replied, “Grandmother, we have just now found in the city a cook who had prepared a pomegranate-seed dish whose aroma delights the heart and whose flavor stimulates the appetite. Your food is nothing by comparison.” When his grandmother heard his words, she was angry and, turning to the eunuch, said, “Damn you, you are corrupting my son by taking him into the city and letting him eat in cookshops.” When the eunuch heard her words, he was frightened and said, “No, by God, my lady, we did not eat anything; we only saw the cookshop in passing.” But ’Ajib said, “By God, grandmother, we did enter the shop, and both this time and the other time we ate a pomegranate-seed dish that was better than yours.” In her anger, she went and informed her brother-in-law, provoking him against the eunuch, at whom the grandfather yelled, saying, “Damn you, where did you take my grandson?” Afraid of being put to death, the eunuch denied everything, but ’Ajib told on him, saying, “Yes, by God, grandfather, we went into the cookshop and ate until the food came out of our nostrils, and the cook gave us an iced sweet drink.” The vizier became angrier and said, “You ill-fated slave, did you take my grandson into a cookshop?” The eunuch continued to deny it until the vizier said to him, “My grandson says that the two of you ate until you were full. If you are telling the truth, then eat this bowlful of pomegranate seeds, which is before you.” The eunuch said, “Very well,” and took a morsel from the bowl and ate it, but unable to swallow a second, he spat it out and threw it away and, drawing away from the food, said, “By God, my lord, I am full ever since yesterday.”
By this the vizier realized the truth and ordered his servants to throw the eunuch down and beat him. Smarting under the blows, the eunuch cried for mercy and said, “My lord, we did enter a cookshop and we did eat a pomegranate-seed dish that was indeed better than this one.” His words angered Badr al-Din’s mother, who said, “For God’s sake, son, and may God reunite me with my own son, you must go and bring me back a bowl of pomegranate dish from that cook, so that your master may judge which is the better and tastier of the two, his or mine.” The eunuch replied, “Indeed I will.” Then she gave him a bowl and half a dinar, and he went out running until he came to the cookshop and said to Badr al-Din, “Excellent cook, I have made a wager about your cooking in my master’s household. Give me half a dinar’s worth of your pomegranate dish and it better be good, for I have had a bellyful of beating for entering your shop. Don’t let me taste more beating with your food.” Badr al-Din laughed and said, “By God, noble lord, no one can cook this dish as well but myself and my mother, and she is far away.” Then he ladled out the food, choosing the best parts, covered the bowl, and gave it to the eunuch, who hastened back with it. Badr al-Din’s mother took it, and when she tasted the food and noticed its excellent flavor, she knew who had cooked it, shrieked, and fell down in a swoon. The vizier was astonished and sprinkled water on her, and when she carne to herself, she said, “If my son Badr al-Din is still in this world, none has cooked this dish but he.”
But morning overtook Shahrazad, and she lapsed into silence. Then Dinarzad said, “Sister, what a strange and entertaining story!” Shahrazad replied, “What is this compared with what I shall tell you tomorrow night if the king spares me and lets me live!”
THE NINETY-SEVENTH NIGHT
The following night Shahrazad said:
It is related, O King, that Ja’far said to the caliph:
Badr al-Din’s mother said, “None has cooked this dish but my son Badr al-Din, for none knows how to cook it as well as he.” When the vizier heard her words, he rejoiced and felt happy and said, “Alas for you, my nephew! I wonder whether God will ever reunite us with you!” Then he rose at once and called out to his followers, attendants, slaves, camel drivers, and porters, about fifty in all, saying, “Take sticks, clubs, and the like and go to the cook’s shop and demolish it by breaking everything inside, even the pots and dishes. Then tie him with his turban and, saying ‘Are you the one who has cooked this awful pomegranate-seed dish,’ bring him here. But let none of you beat him or do him any harm; just bind him and bring him here by force. In the meantime I will go to the vizier’s palace and come back.” They replied, “Very well.”
Then the vizier mounted his horse, rode to the palace, and met with the viceroy of Damascus, showing him the king’s edicts. The viceroy kissed them and, after reading them, asked, “Who is your adversary?” The vizier replied, “He is a cook.” The viceroy ordered a chamberlain to go to the cookshop, and the chamberlain went with four captains, four palace guards, and six soldiers, leading the way. When they came to the cookshop, they found it in ruins and saw everything in it broken.
For while the vizier was at the palace, his servants rose and, taking sticks, tent poles, clubs, and swords, flew in a hurry until they reached the cookshop and, without speaking to Badr al-Din, fell with their weapons on his pots and utensils, broke his shelves, bowls, dishes, and trays, and destroyed his stoves. When Badr al-Din asked them, “O good people, what is the matter?” they replied by asking him, “Are you the one who cooked the pomegranate dish that the eunuch bought?” He replied, “Yes, I am the one who cooked it, and no one can cook anything like it.” They yelled at him, abused him, and continued to demolish the shop until a crowd of people assembled and, seeing about fifty or sixty men demolishing the shop, said, “There must be a grave cause behind this!” Badr al-Din cried out, saying, “O fellow Muslims, what is my crime in cooking this food that you should treat me like this, breaking my dishes and ruining my shop?” They said, “Aren’t you the one who cooked the pomegranate dish?” He replied, “Yes, indeed! What is wrong with it that you should do this to me?” But they kept yelling at him, scolding him, and cursing him. Then they surrounded him, took off his turban and, tying him with it, dragged him by force out of the shop, while he screamed, cried, and called for help.
But morning overtook Shahrazad, and she lapsed into silence. Then Dinarzad said, “Sister, what a strange and entertaining story!” Shahrazad replied, “What is this compared with what I shall tell you tomorrow night if the king spares me and lets me live!”
THE NINETY-EIGHTH NIGHT
The following night Shahrazad said:
It is related, O King, that Ja’far said to the caliph:
Badr al-Din kept crying, calling for help, and asking, “What fault did you find with the pomegranate dish?” and they kept asking, “Aren’t you the one who cooked the pomegranate dish?” while he kept answering, “Yes, indeed! But what is wrong with it that I should suffer like this?” As they drew close to the tents, the chamberlain, with his captains and other men, caught up with them. He pushed the vizier’s servants aside to look at Badr al-Din and, hitting him on the shoulders with his stick, asked him, “You, are you the one who cooked the pomegranate seeds?” Badr al-Din cried with pain from the blow and replied, “Yes, my lord, but I ask you, in the name of God, what is supposed to be wrong with it?” But the chamberlain scolded him and cursed him, saying to his men, “Drag away this dog who has cooked the pomegranate dish.” Badr al-Din felt miserable, wept, and said to himself, “What did they find wrong with the pomegranate dish that they should abuse me to this extent?” and he felt frustrated for not knowing what his fault was. The men kept dragging him until they reached the tents, where they waited until the vizier, having gotten the viceroy’s permission to depart and having bidden him good-bye, returned to the tents.
As soon as he dismounted, he asked, “Where is the cook?” and they brought Badr al-Din before him. When Badr al-Din saw his uncle the vizier Shams a
l-Din, he wept and said, “My lord, what is my offense against you?” Shams al-Din replied, “Damn you, aren’t you the one who cooked the pomegranate dish?” With a cry of exasperation, Badr al-Din replied, “Yes my lord, and what a misfortune! Does my crime warrant cutting off my head?” Shams al-Din replied, “That misfortune would be the least punishment.” Badr al-Din said, “My lord, will you not tell me my crime and what is wrong with the pomegranate dish?” Shams al-Din replied, “Yes, presently,” and he called out to his servants, shouting, “Pack up, and let us go.” The servants undid the tents at once and made the camels kneel for loading. Then they put Badr al-Din in a chest, which they locked and placed on a camel. Then they departed and journeyed until nightfall, when they stopped to eat. Then they took Badr al-Din out of the chest, fed him, and locked him up again.
They kept traveling in this way until they reached Cairo and dismounted outside the city. Then the vizier ordered the servants to take Badr al-Din out of the chest, and they did so and brought him before the vizier, who sent for wood and a carpenter and said to him, “Make a wooden, crosslike figure.” Badr al-Din asked, “What will you do with it?” The vizier replied, “I will crucify you by nailing you on it, and then I will parade you throughout the city, because the pomegranate dish you cooked lacked pepper and tasted awful.” Badr al-Din said, “Haven’t you done enough, and all because the pomegranate dish lacked pepper?”
But morning overtook Shahrazad, and she lapsed into silence. Then Dinarzad said to her sister, “What a strange and entertaining story!” Shahrazad replied, “What is this compared with what I shall tell you tomorrow night if the king spares me and lets me live!”
THE NINETY-NINTH NIGHT
The following night Shahrazad said:
It is related, O King, that Ja’far said to the caliph:
Badr al-Din said, “Because the pomegranate dish lacked pepper, you have beaten me, smashed my dishes, and ruined my shop, all because the pomegranate dish lacked pepper! Isn’t it enough, O Muslims, that you have tied me and locked me up in this chest, day and night, fed me only one meal a day, and inflicted on me all kinds of torture, because the pomegranate dish lacked pepper? Isn’t it enough, O Muslims, to have shackled my feet that you should now make a crosslike figure to nail me on, because I have cooked a pomegranate dish that lacked pepper?” Then Badr al-Din pondered in bewilderment and asked, “All right, suppose I did cook the dish without pepper, what should my punishment be?” The vizier replied, “To be crucified.” Badr al-Din said, “Alas, are you going to crucify me because the pomegranate dish lacked pepper?” and he appealed for help, wept, and said, “None has been crushed as I have been, and none has suffered what I have suffered. I have been beaten and tortured, my shop has been ruined and plundered, and I am going to be crucified, all because I cooked a pomegranate dish that lacked pepper! May God curse the pomegranate dish and its very existence!” and as his tears flowed, he concluded, “I wish that I had died before this calamity.”
When they brought the nails, he cried, lamented, and mourned over his crucifixion. But as night was falling and it was getting dark, the vizier took Badr al-Din, pushed him into the chest, and locked it, saying, “Wait till tomorrow morning, for tonight we have no time left to nail you.” Badr al-Din sat inside the chest, crying and saying to himself, “There is no power and no strength, save in God, the Almighty, the Magnificent. Why do I have to be crucified and die? I have not killed anyone or committed any crime; nor have I cursed or blasphemed. My only offense is that I am supposed to have cooked a pomegranate dish that lacked pepper; that is all.”
In the meantime the vizier placed the chest on a camel and followed it into the city, after the markets closed, until he came to his house. Later at night the servants arrived with the loaded camels and, making them kneel, carried the equipment and baggage inside. The first thing the vizier did was to say to his daughter Sit al-Husn, “Daughter, praised be God who has reunited you with your cousin and husband. Rise this instant and let the servants prepare the house and arrange the furniture as it was on your wedding night, twelve years ago.” The servants replied, “Very well.” Then the vizier called for candles, and when they lighted the candles and lanterns and brought him the sheet of paper on which he had written the exact description of the room on the wedding night, he began to read it out to them until everything was arranged as it had been on that night. They put everything in its place, lighting the candles as they had been lighted, and placing the turban on the chair and the trousers and the purse with the thousand dinars under the mattress, as Badr al-Din had placed them on that night. Then the vizier came to the hallway and said to his daughter, “Undress and go to bed, as you did the night he came in to you, and when he comes in, this time, say to him, ‘My lord, you have stayed too long in the privy.’ Then let him lie beside you and engage him in conversation till the morning, when we will tell him the whole extraordinary story.”
But morning overtook Shahrazad, and she lapsed into silence. Then Dinarzad said, “Sister, what a strange and entertaining story!” Shahrazad replied, “What is this compared with what I shall tell you tomorrow night if the king spares me and lets me live!”
THE ONE HUNDREDTH NIGHT
The following night Shahrazad said:
It is related, O King, that Ja’far said to the caliph:
I heard, O Commander of the Faithful, that the vizier went to Badr al-Din, untied him, and, taking off all his clothes, save for a shirt, led him slowly until he came to the door of the room from which the bride had come out to be unveiled before him and in which he had slept with her and taken her virginity. When he looked at the room, he recognized it, and when he saw the bed, the net, and the chair, he was amazed and bewildered. Advancing one foot and drawing the other back, he rubbed his eyes and said to himself in his confusion, “Glory be to the Almighty God! Am I awake or asleep?” Sit al-Husn lifted the net and said to him “Ah, my lord, will you not come in? You have stayed too long in the privy; come back to bed!” When Badr al-Din heard her words and saw her face, he smiled in amazement and said, “By God, you are right; I did stay too long in the privy!” But as he entered the room, he recalled the events of the last ten years, and as he kept looking at the room and recalling those events, he was confounded and felt lost, not knowing what to make of this. He looked at the turban, the robe, and the dagger on the chair, went to the bed and felt the trousers and the purse under the mattress, and finally burst out laughing, and said, “By God, this is a good one; by God, this is a good one!” Sit al-Husn asked, “My lord, why do you stare at the room and laugh for no reason?” When he heard her words, he laughed again and asked, “How long have I been absent from you?” She replied, “Ah, may the Compassionate and Merciful God preserve you! Ah, haven’t you gone out but a while ago to relieve yourself and come back? Have you lost your wits?”
Badr al-Din laughed and said, “By God, lady, you are right. I left you and, forgetting myself, fell asleep in the privy. I recall as if I dreamt that I lived in Damascus for ten years, working as a cook, and that one day a young boy and his servant visited my shop.” Then, touching his forehead and feeling the scar from the blow, he cried out, “No, by God, it must have been true, for the boy hit me with a stone and cut my forehead open. By God, my friend, it would seem that it really happened.” Then he reflected for a while and said, “By God, my lady, it seems to me that when I embraced you and we fell asleep, a little while ago, I dreamt that I went to Damascus without turban or trousers and worked there as a cook.” Then he reflected again and said, “Yes, by God, my lady, it seems as if I dreamt that I cooked a pomegranate dish that lacked pepper. Yes, by God, my lady, I must have slept in the privy and seen all this in a dream, except that, by God, my lady, it was a long dream.” Sit al-Husn said, “For God’s sake, my lord, tell me what else you dreamed?” Badr al-Din replied, “My lady, had I not awakened, they would have crucified me.” She asked, “For what reason?” He replied, “Because I cooked a pomegranate dish that lacked
pepper. It seemed as if they smashed my dishes, ruined my shop, tied me and shackled me, and put me in a chest. Then they brought a carpenter to make a wooden crosslike figure to nail me on. It all happened because the pomegranate dish lacked pepper. Thank God that all of this happened to me in a dream and not in reality.” Sit al-Husn laughed and pressed him to her bosom, and he returned her embrace. But he reflected again and said, “My lady, what happened to me must indeed have been real, but there is no power and no strength, save in God, the Almighty, the Magnificent. By God, what a strange story!”
But morning overtook Shahrazad, and she lapsed into silence. Then Dinarzad said, “Sister, what a strange and entertaining story!” Shahrazad replied, “What is this compared with what I shall tell you tomorrow night if the king spares me and lets me live!”
THE ONE HUNDRED AND FIRST NIGHT
The following night Shahrazad said:
It is related, O King, that Ja’far said to the caliph:
That night Badr al-Din lay down in a state of confusion, now saying, “I was dreaming,” now, “I was awake.” He kept looking in astonishment at the room, the objects, and the bride, saying to himself, “By God, till now I have not even completed one night with her.” Then he would reflect again and say, “It must have been real,” until it was morning and his uncle came in, bidding him good morning. When Badr al-Din saw him, he recognized him and was utterly confused. He said, “In fact, aren’t you the one who gave the orders to beat, tie, shackle, and crucify me because of the pomegranate dish?” The vizier replied, “Son, the truth is out, for what was hidden has been revealed. You are my true nephew, and I did all this only to be sure that you were indeed the one who had consummated the marriage with my daughter that night. You recognized your turban, your clothes, and your gold purse, as well as the scroll written by my brother and hidden in the lining of your turban. Had the man we brought here been other than you, he would not have recognized these objects.” Then he recited the following verses: