REED
Past – sixteen years old
“Dude, did you see that new girl in first period?” Andrew, my latest partner in crime asks.
“The redhead?” Jax responds, in between sets. Jay is torturing us today with his workout.
“Boys, boys, if all you pansies are going to do is chit chat about your schoolgirl crushes, why am I wasting my time?” He taunts us as usual. I want to tell him to go fuck himself, but since he’s taking his personal time to train us, and we all have doubled in size the last couple of years, I hold back.
He grabs some barbells and starts doing curls himself.
“No, Jay dog, this girl is beyond hot. Am I right, Reed? Come on. If the almighty Reed Saddington thinks she’s hot, you know she is.”
Jay stops lifting and looks at me. “Well?”
“She’s hot. I’d do her. Do you have her number? We should invite her to Blake’s tonight,” Jax answers for me as he wipes his face with a towel.
Jay looks at me in the mirror. “I’m still waiting for Reed’s thoughts.” He eyes me, challenging.
I shake my head. I have been into boxing lately. I had my dad take a portion of our gym and put in a small ring. I look him in the eyes. No way am I backing down.
“I don’t particularly find redheads hot, but you would, Jay.” Because it’s true. I have seen the women Jay likes. He definitely has a type. Unfortunately, it seems to be my type too. I was not about to admit that Gia, the new girl, was too sexy for her own good. That would give Jay an excuse to give me shit about my commitment to Tess.
Just the thought of her hurts me. I start shadowboxing again. I’m so sick of feeling like this. The pain that I have been through this year and a half has been the worst thing I have yet endured. I duck out of the ring and pound the punching bag. Jay walks over and holds it as I take out all my angst. Finally, when my arms feel like Jell-O and my lungs are on fire, I look up. Andrew, Jax, and Jay are all staring at me.
“What?” I growl.
Andrew holds up his hands. “Nothing man.” Then he looks at Jax. “I posted Blake’s address on Facebook, so I’m gonna roll.”
“Later, Drew.” Jax snickers.
I nod at him. He grabs his workout bag, stopping beside me. “You know, Reed, maybe you should think about showing some interest in something besides your body or drinking away your sorrows.” He slings the bag over his shoulder. “The rumor is she wants you, man.” He points at me as he pushes the button for our elevator to take him to the ground floor.
Jay is picking up his stuff. “So, you guys need a ride tonight or cabbing it?”
“You want the night off?” Jax asks.
“No, I’ll take the extra hours if you need me to drive.”
“Cool, then let’s leave around seven.”
He nods and steps into the elevator.
I’m still punching the bag—I want relief even if it’s short-lived. It’s been over a year since she left me. I know she didn’t have a choice, but that’s not exactly true. Claire, albeit not mother of the year, is still her mother. She has rights to Tess as much as Robert does. He hasn’t even allowed her to visit, let alone for me to visit her. I have been supportive, and I know she needs his approval, but I never dreamed she would pick him over me. Wiping the sweat off my forehead, I continue to pound the bag. My breathing is loud, and my arms and chest are burning. I take a breath. It’s almost over. She has promised she’ll be back as soon as school is out. Unfortunately, the longer she stays away, the more the poison inside me grows. I give the bag one last punch and fall to the ground. Jax walks over and slumps down next to me.
“How’s our girl doing?”
I snort a bitter laugh. “How the hell do I know?” I know I sound like an ass, but that’s pretty much how I feel since she’s been gone. Lonely, lost, joyless—the list of adjectives goes on.
“Well, you two talk all the time via text, Facebook, or Skype.” He gets in my face. “I get you miss her. I miss her too, but you have been a miserable shit for over a year now! If you can’t wait this out, then maybe you need to cut Tess loose. Because you can’t be making her happy, and you’re sure as shit miserable here.”
I want to punch him, but my arms are like rubber and I think he would punch me back and probably win. “Stay out of it, Jax. I will never get over it. She’s destroying me, don’t you get it? I only want her, but she’s in London. So, what do I do?” I yell.
“I guess, you either love her and wait, or you break up and get laid. Either way, commit. Living like this is not living, brother.” He gets up, leaving me in a pile of self-pity and sweat. I don’t know how long I sit in our gym alone. At last, it dawns on me: Jax is right. I have been partying way too much. I gave up on school. Thankfully it comes easy to me. Although I’m pretty sure if my dad wasn’t who he was, my teachers would not be giving me the grades I’m getting. I can’t remember the last time I laughed or had an actual good time. I keep making excuses for her, but the truth is that I’m fucking livid with Tess. I guess it’s time I tell her. Standing up, I go to my room and grab my laptop. I Skype her number. It rings and rings. I’m ready to hang up and try again when I hear that fucking raspy voice that haunts me, and I groan.
She must be asleep because it’s dark. “Turn on a light,” I snap. “I want to see you.”
“Reed? What time is it?” Suddenly I see her beautiful face. At first, it’s just her dark hair as she moves into the screen after turning on her light. Then her eyes blink a couple of times and she runs her tongue over her lips. I feel myself getting hard, fueling my anger.
“Take off your nightie,” I demand, needing to see all of her. I know this is not going to end well. I should tell her I’m struggling and frustrated. But my dick is not listening. She cocks her head at me, her eyes searching for something. Biting her lip, she pulls her black silk nightgown over her head. Christ, she’s beautiful!
“Sit back and spread your legs.” I’m growling like a caged beast.
“Reed? What’s going on?” Her hands are touching the screen as if that would let her touch me.
“I said spread your legs!” She hesitates and looks at what I assume is her bedroom door, then scoots back, props a couple pillows behind her, and puts the computer between her legs. She opens them slowly. I hiss out something as I see her perfect pink sex glistening at me.
“Happy?” She breathes out.
I look at her flat stomach, her unbelievable breasts, and I almost start crying.
“Jesus.” I shake my head. “You have ruined me, Kitten. I’m so sick of wanting you, needing you. Do you have any idea what you have done to us?” My voice doesn’t even sound like me, I’m so goddamn broken. She looks sad, and I almost take back what I said, but I’m hurting and want her to know it.
“I want you to touch yourself, Kitten.” Needing to control her, it’s like a sickness inside me.
“And, I want you to do exactly what I say. Don’t you dare come until I say so.” She looks at me, and I feel her blue eyes zeroing in on me, almost like she has lasers in them. Like they are slicing my heart in two.
“Take your middle finger and slowly shove it deep inside that warm hole of yours. I can see it glistening already.” I pull down my gym shorts.
She does what I tell her, and she arches her back, so her hand and pussy are all I see.
“That’s so hot, Tess. Now pump that finger deep inside. Find your G-spot and rub it.” I watch, mesmerized.
“Reed.” She’s all breathless. “You know I never can find it.”
I want so badly for my finger to be inside her, stroking her. “That’s okay, Kitten. When you’re home, I’ll find it.”
She moans. “Reed… this feels so, so good.”
I smile. I love when Tess lets go. She’s magnificent. “Let’s make it feel even better. Pull that wet finger out and rub that delicious clit.” She obeys me, her breath ragged. She’s starting to get a little loud with her moaning. I should quiet her, but I hate Robert
, so I let her be as enthusiastic as she wants.
The louder she moans, the harder I get. Reaching for my cock, I start to stroke myself. She instantly looks up at the screen.
“Take off your shirt, Reed. I need to see you.” Her voice sounds so excited, I moan. Teasing her with a hint of my dimples, I hear her curse about putting her tongue on them. Letting go of my dick, I pull my sweaty shirt off. She puffs out some air. Her fingers haven’t stopped rubbing her clit. I praise her, even when I’m upset with her. I can’t help but give her my approval. She loves it, needs it.
“That’s it, Tess. Does that feel good, Kitten? Do you wish those were my fingers?” I reach for my hard cock again.
“Reed,” she whimpers, “I do, I really do.” She’s getting close. I can see her clit starting to pulse and we’ve only started.
“Don’t you dare come, Tess,” I scold her harshly. “Stop touching yourself.” She groans in frustration, giving me the kill stare.
“Tess,” I say harshly.
She stops, although she does one last rub over her pink, swollen clit.
I smile, because, she’s so goddamn sexy and naughty. She keeps her legs open, so my eyes can feast on that swollen nub.
“Now, I want you to take one hand and spread those lips, No touching yourself, Kitten! Go on…” She opens her slick lips at my command and smiles mischievously.
Now I do give her my dimples. “Since you can’t control yourself from coming, you have to wait and watch me stroke my cock.”
Her eyes are half-mast, making her look like a goddess. I stroke myself slowly. Her breasts are flushed and her nipples are tight and hard.
“Take your other hand and squeeze those hard nipples. Yeah… Kitten, look at my cock—it’s leaking for you.” I take my precum and spread it all over the tip. I lean back and spread my legs, giving her a better view.
“God, Reed, I want to touch myself again.” She’s whimpering.
“Tell me what I want to hear, Tess.”
“I love you, I’m yours,” she pants.
“Fuck, that’s it, Tess. I’m close, baby. You keep those lips open and take those fingers and work them all over that pretty wet cunt.” She gasps at my crudeness, but I don’t care because I’m close to coming. And for the first time in a while, I feel good and connected to her.
She does what I say. Her two fingers go to town on herself. She puts them inside and pumps herself only to bring them out and rub herself frantically and hard, so hard. I’m jerking myself off rough and fast as our eyes lock.
“Rub that clit hard. I want you coming. Rub, baby.” Her eyes darken; her body starts to jerk. “Yeah… Just. Like. That. Kitten.”
Her fingers stop as her clit clenches and pulses. That’s all I need as I jet off all over my stomach and vaguely feel some land on my neck. We’re both breathing harshly. There’s a small smile on her flushed face. I sit up, pulling my shorts up. Grabbing a bunch of Kleenex, I do a quick wipe off. Now that we both have calmed down, I look at her. She sighs and makes me feel like I’m all she needs. But that’s a lie and just like that, the incredible feeling fades. And the truth that we still have to get through four more months makes me frown.
“What’s wrong, Reed?” Her voice makes my dick twitch again.
“I’m sick of this. I hate this fucking screen.” I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”
She sits up and grabs for her black slip nightie. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m saying it’s time you come back to me. It’s been a year and a half. You’re miserable, and I can barely function.” My eyes sting. I clear my voice. “This isn’t working for me, Tess. I’m either the most important thing to you, like you are for me, or we need to rethink what we mean to each other.”
“What do you want me to do?” Her voice cracks and she looks toward her door again. “He won’t let me come back.”
“Just leave, Tess. Claire’s not perfect, but she’s still your mother. How long are you going to let him control you?” She’s silent.
“Tess? Is there something you’re not telling me?” I’m starting to sweat. After all, the plan was for her to finish the school year, then come back.
I sigh, rubbing my hands up and down my face. “Look, Tess, I’m sorry. I’m impatient. We’ve made it this long—what’s a couple more months.”
Tears form in her sapphire eyes. Dread slithers up my spine and into my head. And I know, without a doubt, this is it. Our moment of truth.
“What?” I snap.
Her eyes are huge, and her breathing is elevated. “Reed.” It comes out as a whisper.
“I… I don’t think I will be coming back until I graduate.” Her voice is strangely flat. I stare at her, stunned and confused.
“What are you talking about? I thought you were coming back at the end of this year. You promised me.”
A sob escapes her. “I tried, Reed, but he threatened to disinherit me. And my mom is not fighting for my return at all! I’m all alone, Reed. You have no idea what I’m living through!” Her voice is on edge, almost accusing.
“Like hell I don’t!” I yell. “Who the fuck do you think has been doing this with you? Who has had to deal with your panic attacks through a goddamn screen? Who? If I don’t know what you have been going through, then you need some serious help, Tess.”
“Stop it, Reed.” She pulls her nightie back on. “I can’t handle this right now!” She sniffs. “You know, Reed, I see everybody’s Facebook posts. You know what I see?”
“No, Tess, what? What do you see?”
“I see my boyfriend drinking, laughing, one party after another! How about what all the girls post on you? You know like my friend Lexi! She loves posting all kinds of interesting stuff. So, excuse me if I don’t weep for you. You have everyone, Reed. You know who I have? My fucking dad’s twenty-seven-year-old Russian girlfriend! That’s my only friend, Reed!”
“That’s bullshit, Tess. You have me, Jax, and Brance. Christ, Brance comes to visit all the time. You want more friends? Get your skinny ass up and make some. But you won’t because you know I’m all you need!” She’s flushed, and we’re both breathing heavily.
“Now, are you going to come home like you promised?” I grit my teeth.
“Reed, you are being so—”
“It is a yes or no question, Tess. Are. You. Coming. Home?”
She’s silent; then she looks down and my heart breaks. I sit back and rub my chest.
“When were you going to tell me? Or were you going to do what you’ve been doing since the day you left and lie?”
That snaps her head up. “I never lied,” she whispers.
“Really? First it was ‘I will be home before school starts.’ Then, ‘I will be home in the summer.’ Then it was Christmas. And now we are into March and you are not coming back for another year and a half?” I run my hands through my hair.
“Do you even care that we haven’t touched each other forever? Does that even bother you?”
“Yes, of course it does, but what do you expect me to do? I’m not an adult.”
“I expect you to come back. I need you!” I throw my hands at her almost pleading.
“Reed, he threatened to disinherit me!”
“So what? I have more money than anyone should. You will never want for anything.”
She snorts. “Perfect. What happens if you leave me?”
I nearly see red. “You are kidding me, right?” I’m barely able to catch my breath. “You did not just ask me if I would leave you, did you? Since I’ve known from the moment I saw you that you were mine.” I’m so angry I can barely talk.
“It’s not something I can chance.” She swallows. “If I allowed you to support me, and you left me, I would have nothing.” Her hands are flying around in her agitation.
She has literally knocked the wind out of me. I look at her exquisite face and for the first time, I don’t want to talk to her. For the first time, I
hate her! And I want to hurt her. I want her pain! I don’t want to hear any more of her lies. I’m done!
“Reed?” Her voice is pleading. “I didn’t mean that. I’m confused. I—”
“Tess, I have given you my whole heart. And you have pretty much destroyed it. So before you take my entire soul, I’m going to stop. You do what you need to do, but I’m done.” I don’t listen to her hysterical pleading. I end the call, turn off my computer, and get into the shower.
Jax is lying on my bed as I come out of the bathroom. Wrapping a towel around my waist, I notice he is dressed for the party but on his phone, clearly trying to calm Tess down. I’m so fucking demolished, I grab his cell from him.
“Tess!”
“Reed? Thank God. Don’t do this to us. I’m sorry. I’ll do anything.” She’s crying so hard I can barely understand her.
My first instinct is to calm her, but I don’t. “You coming home?” I demand.
She is literally hysterical, but I hear her words loud and clear. “I can’t! Reed, you have to understand. Please, this isn’t you. We love each other!”
“Tess, this is me, I don’t want to hear from you. I don’t want my brother hearing from you.”
“No.” She wails. “You don’t mean that.”
“You’re not listening, Tess! I’m done! Leave my family and me alone. You’re not mine. And, I don’t want to be yours anymore.” I can barely choke out the words, but I know these words will hurt her more than anything. And right now, I want her to burn.
I hang up and toss my twin his phone. I don’t look at him because I can feel him, so what’s the point of seeing his pain.
“Reed, you have to calm down. You can’t be serious—”
I hold up my hand. “She had her chance to come back. She is choosing to stay with her father.” I jerk on a pair of jeans, not bothering with underwear. “She’s not our Tess anymore. That girl”—I nod to his phone—“I don’t even know her. She’s not mine. And I would appreciate it if you would back me up. As my twin, and my other half, please!” My heart pounds in my temple. Jax is pale, but he nods.
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