Shadow Soul (Narun Book 1)
Page 19
Once I had received an apple cut into slices. What that was about, I didn’t know, but I’d savoured each bite.
I had briefly considered that they had changed their plans, moved on and left me to die. But that would be pointless. Truth was, I had heard of their tactics during my years as Guard.
First, they wore their hostages out physically and mentally by denying human contact, providing only enough food to survive and make your flesh crave for more, and by keeping you in darkness to emphasise loneliness and to cause you to lose track of time. And of course, give you too much time to think.
Yes, ultimately, boredom was the worst, even before fear or anxiety of what was to come. My mind had gone over the past, current, and future with a fine-toothed comb. I had cursed, cried and regretted my actions. Rethought what I could have done differently. Kicked myself for not seeing who Sebastian was, and then mourned for the loss of a friend. Planned an escape, and realised it was impossible with a broken leg. Planned another and arrived at the same conclusion. Worried about whether Jill and Tony were thinking I’d run away from them. Fumed over my current situation. Convinced myself Leo would come to my rescue, and then admitted he was long gone and out of my life.
Bottom line, my future looked bleak.
*
Day 11 in the Damp Dungeon Lock-up.
Or twelve. Maybe fifteen?
Why hadn’t anyone come in? Shouting through the door had only amounted to a sore throat. I had hoped to even hear a ‘Shut up’ to keep me sane and give some indication that someone was actually there. To just hear another voice…
Would somebody please come in already? Green Martian men could’ve taken over and I wouldn’t have known.
Who would have noticed I was missing? Tony and Jill would be looking for me. Or would they? How long until they’d give up?
If only I had a clock to count minutes to keep some track of life.
My stomach was eating itself. Where was my food tray for the day? I crawled to the door to peek under it but there was nothing but more shadows. When had I had it last?
My tongue slid in between my lips. The burn on it felt raw. Oh yes. I had had porridge today, and burned my tongue on it, shovelling it in before it had cooled down.
On my hands and one knee, I dragged myself to the rusted sink, splashed water on my face and took a few gulps. The metallic taste was still cringe-worthy, but at least the water was clean. I washed my hands, feeling futile of the action. Soon they’d be filthy again, like the rest of me.
I needed to get out of here.
I’m really not built for this perseverance thing, am I?
*
Day…?
It must’ve been at least a month.
Frail—that’s how I felt. Hope for escape diminished the weaker my body grew. Even with full strength, it would’ve been a challenge to get away.
I curled on the bed, constantly cold from the lack of nutrition, hugging my stomach. Was my destiny to die in a cell in the hands of my captors?
Just like Kailen.
He had died in a cell somewhere, protecting me, believing I would one day fulfil a higher purpose. And this was how I repaid him: a meaningless death, a wasted life. I had let him down in life and now also in death.
Could he ever forgive me?
Could I ever forgive myself?
Chapter 34
“Boo.”
A whisper next to my ear startled me to near heart failure as I lay on the bed. The gasp would’ve been a scream had I more energy. Sebastian’s face glowed with satisfaction as he assessed my physical state. How had I not heard the door open?
“Sebastian.” My voice sounded foreign and cracked. It would offer little cover.
“The one and only.” He placed an electric lamp on the floor. “Of course, it’s not my real name, but it’ll do.”
Shielding my eyes from the light, I manoeuvred up, to the furthest end of the bed. Sebastian looked down on me, his frame taunting as if he was a vulture, deciding if the carcass was worth it.
“I see you haven’t even tried to claw a tunnel yet. How disappointing.” He scanned the floor level. “I thought you had more fire in you.”
“What do you want?” I asked, not sounding menacing in the least. Part of me wanted to grab his arm and thank him for coming to see me.
I slapped that part of me right on the nose.
“Same as little over three weeks ago.” Three weeks? Was that all? “Have you considered my offer?”
“I won’t join you.” I never realised speaking took such effort. “Or help you. Or—”
“Yeah, yeah, blah, blah. You’re not the only captive to have said that.” His cruel eyes unsettled. “I think your partner spoke something similar once upon a time.”
I hugged myself tighter, doing nothing to stop the tremble. The last shred of bravado I was clasping onto was about to crumble.
“Kailen, I believe his name was,” Sebastian mused, hands behind his back.
Any other day, any other place, I would’ve jabbed his throat for defiling his name.
Sebastian swiped a finger along the wall, rubbed it against another, and placed his hands behind his back again.
“I saw him in prison, you know.” He was visibly intoxicated by the effect he had on me; I felt sick. “Not a nice way to die. Shame he—”
“Stop.” I covered my ears. “Please, stop.” The vulnerability I so openly portrayed took Sebastian by surprise. A wicked edge dominated his face.
“Not so confident now, huh? I didn’t even have to mention the limbs he was miss—”
“Stop, please.” I pressed against my ears harder, knowing full well I was giving him exactly what he wanted, but I couldn’t bear what I was hearing. It would set my thoughts in stone.
Sebastian’s laughter bounced off the walls, amplified by the echo. I tried to shut myself out and think of anything else than what he was suggesting.
“Suit yourself,” he finally said. “We’ll save that for later.” He swivelled around and marched to the door. An ear-piercing wolf-whistle made me jump. Two soldiers filed in on cue; one I recognised from before. “Take her to the house and start packing up.”
Instantly, the two guards grabbed me from either side and yanked me up, only to let go as Sebastian came to stand in front of me. He raised his arm, and I fell onto the bed from the force of the back-handed slap across my face.
“That” —he cracked his knuckles— “was for the time I had to take a hit from that stalker leech of yours, so I wouldn’t blow my cover.” Sebastian crouched by the bed, pinched my chin between his fingers and stared into my half-open eyes. “Prepare to see your new homeland.”
My head slumped as he let go. I didn’t get back up.
I squinted as soon as the blindfold was taken off. The light hurt from weeks of darkness. From what I could see of the room, it was definitely an upgrade.
“There’s a change of clothes on the bed and a bucket in the corner if you want to wash. I’ll bring you food later on,” the younger of the two guards stated as if I were a paying hotel guest. The other guard shut and locked the wooden doors on the windows, blocking the view from outside, and left.
I assessed the remaining guard curiously. Although laden with muscles on his tall body, he looked barely sixteen.
“You were born in Gorah?” I winced at the stinging on my face from Sebastian’s slap. The boy glanced at me, not sure whether to entertain the conversation.
“Yes,” he finally admitted and strode to the door.
“Wait!” I beckoned him to stay, not even sure why. Against the odds, he stopped, and I struggled to get my words out. “When do we leave?”
“The day after tomorrow.”
“You don’t have to do this,” I blurted. Granted, lame attempt.
“I know.” The boy winked which seemed out of place. “But I want to.” He then tilted his head towards the bucket. “Get cleaned up. It’s a long journey and you stink.” He left me to it.
The property had an old feel with its high ceilings and walls that had seen many a turn of a century and several coatings of paint. Maybe I was in an old farmhouse.
Using the wall for support, I staggered to the bucket. My shrinking muscles ached for protein and my body for nutrients. Feeling weak was exhausting.
I washed eagerly, minding the sore side of my face. It would blacken the skin around my eye. As quickly as possible, I changed into the clean clothes: ill-fitting trousers and a simple black, long-sleeved, buttoned shirt which I was sure was from the men’s section.
Drained of energy, I sat on the rug in the middle of the room, threading my fingers through the thick wool. Just over three weeks of capture. And what was to come? Three years? Thirteen years? Thirty years? Once in Gorah, there’d be no escaping. My options were to die in a cell or turn against my home.
No Guard feared death; it was capture we never spoke of. Some had been forced to turn to the other side. Nobody knew how much they could take until tested. We had rescued some over the years, but it was preferably done in transit. There were only a handful of times an elite group had gone beyond enemy lines to rescue captives.
They had often been too late or never returned.
Chills multiplied on my skin. I had never been to Gorah. Soon, I’d see it first hand, just like Kailen had.
Steps halted behind the door. The boy soldier entered with a tray.
“Settling in, are we?” He looked at me strangely, as if wondering why I had chosen the floor over the bed. He placed the tray in front of me, never taking his eyes off me.
“Do you really think I’m going to jump on you with a broken leg?”
“Lesson one: never turn your back on your enemies.”
“What have I ever done to you?” My tone was more rhetoric than questioning, as my eyes consumed a plate of boiled potatoes, carrots, two thin strips of chicken breast, a pear and a cardboard cup of milk. The plastic fork struggled to pierce a potato.
“You were born on the wrong side of the river,” he stated in reply. “Don’t worry, you’ll be one of us before you know it.”
Potatoes had never tasted so amazing. “What makes you so sure?”
“Let’s just say I’ve read your file.” Again, he winked and then left.
Peculiar young soldier.
I forced myself to eat slower, chewing several times before swallowing. I took three gulps of the milk and hugged the paper cup against my chest in thought.
The day after tomorrow. That wasn’t a lot of time. The door was the only feasible exit from the room and I had no idea what was on the outside. I remembered five different faces plus Sebastian, all trained soldiers with skills to match mine. Except that I had a broken leg and a feeble body. And even if I did manage to get out of the house, it had been a long car journey to get here. Here. Where was here?
I swallowed the well-chewed piece of chicken. There wasn’t much hope in getting out, was there? Which meant in a few days I would be in Gorah. And then… How long would it take until I’d give them what they wanted? No one based much on my conviction. What if Sebastian was right and my gift could be developed? Would I be the downfall of Narun?
Fear rolled in like a landslide. All this because I ran away. Because I was a selfish coward rather than a warrior. I struggled to swallow the lump forming in my throat. A slideshow of faces flashed in my mind. For their sake, I couldn’t afford to be weak anymore. For their sake, I couldn’t risk being taken to Gorah.
I knew what I had to do.
I snapped off a piece of wood from the splint on my leg. Biting my cheek, I cut my left wrist.
Chapter 35
“Well done. You’ve earned yourself twenty-four-hour supervision.”
I came to, slowly, staring up at Sebastian’s eyes so black it was hard to separate his pupils. He stopped his slow-clap as I turned my head. The room was the same, except for an uneven, red patch adding pattern to the rug.
I lay on the bed with a sensation of heaviness on both wrists: restraints, skin-digging restraints. My left wrist was wrapped in a cloth. Underneath, the cuts ached, and I suspected amateur stitches.
I see my idiotic escape plan flopped like a fish gone belly up.
“That really was a stupid thing to do, Kalika, even for you.” Sebastian shook his head. “Good thing our young soldier never lets his guard down. Even when you’re faking an attempt on your life.” He tutted. “Do I need to take your fingers out of the game too?”
“My head hurts. Could you talk a little quieter?” I mumbled, feeling the effects of blood loss.
Sebastian laughed and stood up from my bedside. “It’s a shame. We could’ve got along well under different circumstances.” He squatted, dabbed the blood on the rug, and rubbed his clean fingers.
I must have been out of it for a while.
“We did,” I noted. “Before you went arch-enemy on me.”
“We’re not so different, you know. We too fight for what we believe in and want to protect our land. We love and lose just as you do.” The floorboards creaked under Sebastian’s combat boots.
Drowsy, I stared at the yellowing ceiling.
“You think we’re all evil and you’re some superior race.” Sebastian stopped by my feet, brushing a finger along my bad leg. “I bet you don’t even know how many families your Guard has broken over the years. How many children left fatherless and homes you destroyed? There you live in a land abundant in produce when across the river, we toil for our food until our fingers bleed.”
“You started the war.” I struggled to keep my eyes open.
“We were banished from our homes!” I jolted as Sebastian bellowed. “But we’ll have our revenge, and you’re going to be in the front of our ranks claiming back what is rightfully ours. I promise you that.” His nostrils flared, mouth distorted into an ugly knot.
My faith was in the hands of a man who despised me for my birthplace.
Sebastian stormed out and another soldier stepped inside to stand guard. I struggled against the restraints, rubbing and twisting my wrists. The top layers of my skin rubbed off, but I didn’t stop. Somehow the pain was comforting; I was in control of it.
What felt like several hours later, the door opened, and I was collected. Hooded and hands bound, they carried me out of the house and into the crisp air. Outside, orders were shouted, footsteps went back and forth. In the middle of it all, a bird chirped.
I focused on the bird.
I was shoved into what I assumed to be the back of a truck. I winced as they thrust me onto the unforgiving floor. Heavy boots retreated, the doors slammed shut and soon the truck roared into life.
I was alone, in all senses of the word. I took the hood off with my tied hands, and there I sat, deserted in pitch black once again, heading to the last place I wanted to go.
Dead in a coffin, on my way to the crematorium.
I didn’t even try to keep track of how long we’d been travelling. Physically and emotionally drained, I dozed off and woke up to my head banging against the side of the truck. We hadn’t stopped since setting off, but we’d have to eventually; it’d take at least a couple of days, depending on where we were to begin with, to travel to Gorah.
I quivered, feeling uncomfortable and thirsty. The skin on my wrists burned from trying to loosen the ropes. Are they afraid I’ll punch a hole through the truck?
I nearly fell on my side as the tires screeched and we came to a halt. The engine shut down seconds later. The driver’s door opened and closed, and I tried to make out the conversation outside.
Petrol. We’d stopped for petrol. I stretched my spine and rested my head back. The
driver soon returned, and the engine kicked to life, shaking the vehicle.
Instinctively, my head whipped to my right as the back door opened and closed. It was dark outside, but a street light illuminated the container enough to take in the surroundings—aluminium boxes stacked and secured with ropes—but that was not what made my heart skip. I could’ve sworn someone had slipped inside the truck.
I held still, listening, peering into the blackness. Why would anyone sneak inside?
Eyes darting frantically, I searched where the shape had vanished, but it was too dark and the motor too loud to distinguish any additional noise. The truck accelerated but I was on pause, waiting for someone to grab me or stab me. I didn’t have a preference.
Nothing. Not even a peep. The tension released in my neck. I was imagining things.
I eased—and jumped within my skin as a hand covered my mouth.
“Shhhh, it’s me, it’s me,” a voice whispered.
The scream got trapped in my throat. My good leg kicked out, thrusting my back against the wall. Eyes hurting from bulging, I ordered myself to calm down.
Just another one of their tactics to scare me.
The person lit up something that gave enough glow to turn the darkness to dusk. I evened my breath and as I relaxed, the hand eased, and let go, still holding up an index finger.
“Easy, it’s okay. It’s just me.”
My head tilted as I stared into the eyes eating up mine.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, my teeth chattering ever so slightly.
“I’m here to save you, you muppet.”
I heard the words, but it wasn’t until Leo positioned his hands on either side of my face that they registered.
I burst into tears and buried my face into his shoulder.
Chapter 36