The Chisholm Brothers:Friends, Lovers... Husbands?

by Janis Reams Hudson

  Not tonight. Tonight they were going to get to the bottom of the situation. If he was going to lose her, he would just as soon find out now.

  Tough talk, he thought, for a guy crazy in love with a reluctant woman.

  It was that reluctance he had to find a way to surmount. He didn’t know how he was going to do that, but he would think of something. He had to. He didn’t intend to spend the rest of his life without her.

  * * *

  Melanie gave herself a final once-over in the mirror above her dresser. She had looked better in her day, but an hour ago she had looked decidedly worse. Caleb knew her in all her looks, so she doubted her appearance would make much difference, but, as her mother had drilled into her head her entire life, it never hurts to look your best.

  “Listen to me,” she muttered to her reflection. “Taking grooming advice from someone with fake boobs.” She shook her head. She would not fault her mother for getting breast implants. If implants made her mother happy, then power to her. To Melanie such things were nonsense. But then, she was pushing twenty-nine and had never been married, so that showed what she knew about getting what she wanted from a man.

  Go figure.

  What she wanted from Caleb, he couldn’t give her, but she owed it to him to be honest.

  She was thinking about him so much, so hard, that when she stepped out the back door with her keys in hand, on her way to drive to the Rose to see him, and there he stood, on her sidewalk in the waning evening light, she thought she had conjured him up out of thin air.

  “Hi,” he said. “Going somewhere?”

  Honesty. Wasn’t that her goal? “I was on my way to see you.”

  “You were?” He cocked his head to one side. “What for?”

  “Can’t a girl come visit her guy without having to give a reason?”

  He took her hand and brought it to his lips. “This girl can come see this guy whenever she wants.” He kissed the back of her hand. “For any reason on earth, or no reason at all.”

  Melanie batted her lashes. “Why, Caleb Chisholm, I had no idea you were such a sweet-talking devil.”

  He pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. “I’ve missed you.”

  She started to laugh and remind him that it had only been two days since they’d seen each other. Instead, she laid her head on his shoulder and sighed. “I’ve missed you, too.”

  With a finger beneath her chin, he tilted her face up toward him. “Have you?”

  A lump rose in Melanie’s throat. If he had to ask, then she’d been right earlier—she had hurt him. “Oh, Caleb, I’m so sorry you feel the need to ask that.”

  “Shh,” he whispered. “It’s all right.”

  “No, it’s not.”

  He smiled slightly. “Wanna fight about it?”

  She tucked her head beneath his chin again. “No.”

  “Come for a ride with me.”

  “Okay.”

  “If you’re hungry we can go to town and I’ll buy you a burger.”

  “Okay.”

  “I’ll bring you home whenever you say.”

  She pulled back and looked at him. “I said okay.”

  “Oh. Okay. Let’s go, then.”

  “Let me tell Mama and Daddy so they won’t wonder what happened to me.” She ran back and stuck her head in the door, telling her parents she was leaving with Caleb and not to wait up. As if they would, she thought with a silent laugh.

  “You two have a good time,” her father called.

  “And set a wedding date,” came her mother’s demand.

  Melanie cringed, hoping Caleb hadn’t heard the latter. She wasn’t ready for that conversation yet. Maybe that hamburger he promised would give her courage.

  On the ride into town Melanie scooted over and sat pressed against Caleb’s side. She had a need to touch him, to feel him next to her as much as possible.

  Caleb welcomed the warmth, both physical and emotional, of her nearness. Until she told him differently, they were still engaged to be married. That implied a certain level of intimacy, such as a man being able to rest his arm along his woman’s thigh, his hand just above her knee.

  It felt good to touch her. Felt even better when she placed her hand on top of his and threaded her fingers with his.

  This was something new for Melanie. She didn’t usually touch him in such a casual yet intimate way as holding hands. If he took her hand in his, that was one thing. But for her to make the move… it made his heart pound.

  By the time they made the city limits of Rose Rock the sky was dark, the stars starting to pop out.

  “What’ll it be?” Caleb asked. “Hamburger, chili dog or pizza? Or we could hit the café for a steak or something.”

  “I’ll go with your original offer of a burger.”

  “A burger it is.” He drove down Main to the hamburger stand and pulled in and parked. They got out together and placed their order at the walk-up window, then sat at one of the nearby picnic tables. The temperature was holding in the midsixties, so it was comfortable where they sat beneath the awning. They watched the cars drive by and waited for their order to be called. They didn’t talk much.

  Caleb had plenty he wanted to say to her, but he got the impression Melanie had things to tell him, too, but that she wasn’t ready. It was hard for him not to push her. Still, he managed to bide his time. Whatever they ended up saying to each other tonight would be better said when they were alone. Here there were too many people coming and going, walking over to say hello, yelling out from their cars as they drove by.

  He could wait a little longer. They would eat first, then find someplace private. Then, they would talk.

  The problem was, even then they didn’t talk. After they finished their burgers they drove to the river a few miles outside of town. Caleb found a private place to park beneath the blackjacks and cottonwoods along the bank. He killed the lights, the engine, the radio, and they sat quietly, Melanie snug against his side with her head on his shoulder, their joined hands on her leg, and listened to the frogs and the rustling leaves and the river.

  Caleb decided she was never going to speak. He would have to dive in and brave the waters. Then she surprised him by speaking first.

  “I’m afraid, Caleb.”

  He pulled her into his arms, turning her to face him, putting her back to the steering wheel. “I know you are. What are you afraid of?”

  She lowered her gaze and centered it somewhere in the vicinity of his chin. “Of messing everything up. I’m so afraid of messing things up that I mess up trying not to mess up.”

  “You know, I hate to admit it, but I actually understood that. I think.”

  Melanie pinched his arm.

  “Ouch!” He rubbed the sore spot. “What was that for?”

  “I’m being serious and you’re making fun of me.”

  “I’m being serious. But you’re wrong, you know. As far as I can tell, you haven’t messed up anything at all.”

  “I’ve messed up something pretty good if you have to ask whether or not I’ve missed you.”

  Caleb shook his head. “That’s just your self-defense mechanism working overtime. You think I don’t know that?”

  “I wish you’d have told me. I’m just barely figuring it out for myself. I’ve hurt your feelings by not settling on a date.”

  What could he say to that? She had him there. “Have you figured out why you’re not ready to set a date?”

  “I don’t know.” She shrugged and lowered her gaze. “I guess I’m afraid we’ll get married and then you’ll figure out I’m a fake and it’ll be too late and we’ll have to turn around and get a divorce.”

  “There you go again, building up another disaster in your head.” He managed a small laugh.

  “Yeah, I know. Dumb, isn’t it?”

  “It’s not dumb if it’s something that scares you. But if you’re going in the door thinking divorce is just ahead, then it’ll never work. Why bother making the commitment if y
ou’ve already got your escape route planned? There’s no need to even try to make things work if you’ve got one foot out the door before we start. If I could give you a guarantee that everything would be easy, Melanie, I would. I’d write it in my own blood if it would reassure you.”

  “No,” she whispered, pressing her fingers over his lips. “No. This problem is in me, not you. I know there are no guarantees. I know that. I just need to stop being afraid, and I don’t know how to do that.”

  “You need to believe in yourself, and I don’t know how to help you do that. In every other part of your life you don’t have a doubt in the world about who you are and what you want or where your place is in everything. I don’t understand why this, us, you and me, is any different, but I know for you it is. All I ask is that you be honest with me, tell me what’s going on. If you’re unsure or afraid or angry or anything, tell me. I might not be able to help, but I want to know. Need to know.”

  Melanie trembled at his words and the depth of meaning behind then. He wasn’t asking for mere words. He was asking her to make herself vulnerable to him.

  Let me in. That’s what he’d said the day they’d made love. That’s what he was asking now. That she let him in. Inside her heart, her head.

  Did she have the courage to open herself to him that way, make herself completely vulnerable to him? Give him that kind of power over her again, only more so this time?

  “Why does the thought of being honest with me scare you so much?”

  “Who says I’m scared?”

  “Hell, you should see your face. You can’t hide it from me. I don’t understand why you think you need to try. You’re an honest person. It’s not like you make a career out of lying. Talk to me, dammit.”

  “What do you want me to say?” She threw herself across the cab to the passenger’s side. “That you’re the one person in the world who can hurt me? Is that what you want to hear? That if I don’t protect myself from you you’ll be able to tear me apart?”

  He turned sideways and leaned toward her. “My God, Melanie, what is it you think I’m going to do to you?”

  “See?” she cried, panic seizing her throat. “You tell me to talk to you, to be honest about what scares me, and when I am, you don’t want to hear it.”

  Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew she was being irrational, she simply couldn’t stop herself. All her thoughts and fears and outrageous hopes swirled inside her in ever-tightening circles until she feared she might implode.

  “I notice,” Caleb said after a long moment, “that you didn’t answer my question.”

  Her breath came in fast little pants. “Take me home.”

  More than stunned, Caleb leaned back against the driver’s door and stared at her. He’d never seen her like this. She was like a wolf caught in a trap, trying to gnaw off its own foot to get free. And he couldn’t bear to see her suffer this way.

  “All right,” he said, his dreams turning bitter on his tongue. “All right, Melanie, you win. I’ll take you home.”

  Chapter Eleven

  “Holy smokes!” Ralph gaped at his daughter the next morning across the breakfast table. “What the devil happened to you? You look like you’ve been rode hard and put up wet.”

  “Ralph!” Fayrene scolded. “What a thing to say to your own daughter. Comparing her to a horse. Although,” she added, giving Melanie a closer look, “you do look a little rough around the edges this morning, baby. What’s wrong?”

  Rough around the edges, Melanie thought, was putting it mildly. She’d seen herself in the mirror. Her face was blotchy, her eyes swollen, her lips puffy. She looked as if she’d been crying all night. Probably because she had been.

  “I didn’t sleep much,” she said to her mother. “I might be coming down with a cold.”

  Fayrene pursed her lips a moment, then said, “If you say so. If you ask me, you’re complicating this whole marriage thing way too much.”

  Melanie blinked her swollen, gritty eyes. “What?”

  Fayrene stood next to Melanie’s chair and smoothed a hand down her daughter’s hair. “I know you, baby. You’re worrying too much. It’s only prewedding jitters, that’s all.”

  Melanie sniffed. “It’s just a cold.”

  “You’re just a little nervous at the thought of suddenly sharing your life with another person. But this other person, baby, is Caleb, and he adores you. All you have to remember is that when you love somebody, you want that person to be happy. You,” she said, pointing a long, manicured nail at Melanie, “love Caleb. You want him to be happy. You are the only person he’ll ever be happy with. It’s simple, see? Marrying him will make both of you happy.”

  “As happy as a couple of clams,” Ralph chimed in.

  Melanie sneered. “Clams don’t get happy, they get steamed. Then they get eaten and disappear. They no longer exist.”

  “Oh, baby.” Fayrene smoothed Melanie’s hair back again. “Is that what you think is going to happen to you? No wonder you won’t settle on a wedding date.”

  “No, Mama, I was just running off at the mouth. I don’t think I’ll disappear if I marry Caleb.”

  “Whew. That’s good. For a minute there…” Then Fayrene laughed. “But how silly of me. Of course you’re not calling off the wedding.”

  Melanie swallowed. Technically, her mother was absolutely correct. Melanie was not calling off the wedding. Caleb had pretty much taken care of that last night. At least, it seemed that way to her.

  Of course, last night had been a complete disaster all the way around. She had ruined everything. She had tried to do what she thought was right, what he had asked of her. She’d tried to be honest and explain her emotions, her fear. But in doing so she had hurt him deeply. Maybe even angered him. Surely insulted him.

  After all of that, there had been no need for her to call off the wedding. She had asked him to take her home, but his answer, when he’d said that she had won, had been about much more than her request to go home. He had given up. On her, on them.

  “No, Mama,” she said. “I’m not calling off the wedding, but I’m afraid Caleb might.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” her mother cried. “That boy is crazy in love with you.”

  “I know he is.”

  “And you’re crazy in love with him. Any fool can see that.”

  Melanie nodded without speaking. “But I hurt his feelings last night.”

  “So?” her father said. “Apologize. Kiss and make up. Hell, making up is some of the most fun there is in life.”

  Apologize. Could it possibly be that simple? Melanie didn’t see how. An apology wouldn’t keep her irrational fear from turning her into a raving lunatic again.

  “I don’t mean to sound harsh, baby,” her mother said. “But it seems to me you need to make up your mind once and for all. That’s a fine man you’ve hooked up with. You need to either marry him or cut him loose.”

  Cut him loose? The words jarred Melanie. She felt as if someone had just jerked her chair from beneath her and left her hanging in midair. Like the coyote racing off the edge of a cliff into midair. Then he looks down, realizes the ground is gone, and plunges.

  Of course, after he crashed to earth he picked himself up and carried on. You could do that in cartoons. In real life, things were different. The ground was much less forgiving.

  “A man like Caleb,” her mother went on, “needs a wife and family of his own. And he’s not getting any younger. If you’re not going to marry him, let him go so he can find somebody else to marry and spend the rest of his life with.”

  Somebody else? Caleb, married to someone else? Melanie couldn’t conceive of it. But what else could she expect? He had proven to her last night that he wasn’t going to put up with being hurt and insulted and neglected for long.

  Dear God, what had she done with all her waffling, her whining, her stupid fears?

  “I’ve got to go.” She jumped from her chair, grabbed her keys from their peg by the back door and
dashed out.

  In the quiet wake of her leaving, Ralph chuckled. “Cut him loose? So he can find somebody else? Oh, Mama, you’re a mean one.”

  “Well, it’s past time somebody gave her a shove. She’s dillydallying too much for my taste. I want a wedding. Grandbabies. We leave it up to her, it’ll be years before we get either.”

  The sun was barely up when Melanie tore up the gravel driveway at the Cherokee Rose and skidded to a stop in front of the barn. Rose and her grandsons should be pouring out of the house any minute and heading out to work for the day.

  Sure enough, just as she climbed out of her rig and started across toward the side door of the house, that door opened. But it wasn’t Caleb who came out, it was Sloan.

  He was on the third step down from the porch to the sidewalk before he spotted her. He drew up short.

  “Mel. What are you doing here this early?”

  “I need to talk with Caleb. Thought I’d better catch him before he headed out for the day.”

  “Good idea. And yes,” Sloan said darkly, “I think you do need to talk to him. He thinks the two of you are doomed, that you don’t love him enough to marry him.”

  A huge, painful lump rose in Melanie’s throat. “He said that?”

  “He didn’t have to. It was written all over his face when he came home last night. Came home much too damn early for having spent the evening with the woman he’s getting ready to marry.”

  “Look, Sloan, this is between Caleb and me. I appreciate your concern, but—”

  “Oh no you don’t. Don’t you dare tell me to butt out. Not after the way you stuck your nose in last summer with Emily and me.”

  “You needed it.”

  “I did. Yes.”

  “You were being pigheaded.”

  “You’re right, I was.”