Can't Help the Way That I Feel

by Lori Bryant-Woolridge

  Ohhh, I beg to differ, Mr. Doorman! “Uhm, I’m a li’l bit confused,” I admit, looking down at my underwear. “So what exactly is it you think I need now?”

  “Coffee…maybe a cup of herbal tea.”

  When did this turn into an episode of “Little Penthouse on the Prairie?” I mumble under my breath, “Um, tea isn’t exactly the direction I thought we were headed.” No, sirrr!

  “Excuse me for being so forward, Ms. Stone, but you don’t strike me as the kind of woman who invites a stranger up to her apartment for a fuck session.” He points at my polka dot panties. “Unless I’m reading this all wrong.”

  My eyes dart to the floor. Okay. On cue, I quickly pull my skirt back up and zip it.

  “I’m just being honest. I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret tomorrow and I just started here and wouldn’t want to…” Blah blah blah…

  Jaguar sashays into the kitchen, licking her lips and wagging her tail. I swear I hear her meow me a disapproving “loser.”

  “And you’re still not ready.”

  I tuck my blouse back into my skirt. “Okay, yes, I had a really bad day!” I look up at him and then quickly turn away. “Okay, so it was a really, uh, f’ed-up day. And because of it, I don’t know what’s gonna happen to me or where I’m gonna live or work or—” I fluster, before shaking myself out of the downward spiral, “but I’m a big girl, ya know and—”

  “No, Phoenix, you’re one-hundred-percent woman.”

  I smooth down the frizzy damp hair that’s come undone around my temple and hold my head high.

  “But you’re just not ready for what I have to offer.”

  Deciding to salvage what dignity I have left, I rethink raping him. “You’re right; I’m going to be just fine. I may not have any savings, or any investments, or any real assets,” I look down at my fifteen-hundred-dollar shoes, “but I’m a big girl, er, uh, woman,” I say, pushing my shoulders back, fighting off tears, “and I’m going to be just, just…well, as soon as I figure out how I’m going to pay this damn rent I’m going to be just fine!” I side-eye the shoes again. Absolutely not! I fasten the top button of my blouse and turn toward the door to escort Apollo out, swearing my inner crybaby off. “Yep, Penny and I are going to be just fi—”

  “So tell me the truth, Phoenix,” Apollo steps in front of me and squares my shoulders. He studies me while he runs his fingers over his goatee. Maybe it was the pathetic rant about me being broke, or maybe it was because my in-your-face, fuck-me-now approach had just been totally rejected, but I am suddenly feeling majorly exposed. “When was the last time you felt the touch of a man?”

  “I don’t really know how to answer that, I mean, well, I guess it’s been a while and—”

  He traces his fingers over my lips and I shut up.

  “…the last time you let someone see you?”

  “No one has ever really—”

  His finger is still pressed against my lips. “…shown you how it feels to be wanted—”

  “Uh, well—”

  “…and needed?” His hands grasp the back of my neck.

  “When was the last time a man made you cum so hard you thought you were going to explode?”

  I clutch my pearls and on autopilot, I reach for the top button of my blouse again, this time I unbutton it before he can change his mind. “And who would—”

  “Phoenix,” he whispers into my ear as he closes the distance between us. He takes my hand and slides it under his shirt and over his throbbing heart. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

  6

  Apollo reaches for my chin and tilts my head straight into his bold eyes. He watches me so long I start to feel naked. Is he going to kiss me? No one has really seen me in years. I think he’s going to kiss me. My thoughts jumble as he leans forward. I haven’t been kissed in nearly two years, three months, one week—but he passes my mouth only to brush the blade of my shoulder with his lips. I lace my fingers behind his head. He kisses my shoulder again. This time I tense.

  “Let go,” I hear him say into my skin. “You’re a big girl, remember? This is what you said you wanted.” I close my eyes, tingling at the touch of his mouth that stops only to bite into my hot skin and torch the rest of me. “Now, let me handle you the right way.” On impulse, my back curves into him. “And I want to see you take it like a woman!” OMG! I feel myself tense again until he grabs the back of my neck and pulls me into him. “I got this.”

  The next thing I know I’m in his arms being carried to the living room. Wow! He sits me on the sofa and his tongue doesn’t miss a beat, licking around my earlobe forcing the thin hairs on my neck to pay attention. My breasts throb through my blouse. They are begging to be next in line. The air is thick. I moan into it, my legs dying to open for him. I wait impatiently as Apollo undresses me with his eyes, showing me every place he intends to spend time. He seems to be in no rush, breathing me in until his eyes finally stop at mine. He kisses me. I freeze.

  “Relax.”

  “But—”

  “I told you, baby, I got this!”

  “But—” Man up, Penny!

  He kisses me softly at first, then much harder. It’s game time! He pulls away slightly and licks my upper lip, tracing over it with his tongue. I’m wet where it matters. Score! He sucks on my bottom lip and I inhale his air before he kisses me again, parting my lips with his tongue, slow-dancing in my mouth to the beat of seduction. His eyes are closed, while mine roll back in my head as he makes love to me, has sex with me, and fucks me under the influence of this one brutal kiss. OMFG! I am beyond drunk from this man, willingly following his lead, farther away from my comfort zone. When we come up for air, his words cause panic in my ears, “We’re taking it all off tonight. I want to see you, every part of you. No mask in sight.”

  I lean back, unable to completely let go. Pull up your big girl panties, Penny! We’re going in!

  “Isn’t this what you said you wanted?”

  I nod my head up and down.

  “Then play by my rules tonight.”

  My head bobs up and down again.

  “Now, open your legs.” It was the last thing I heard him say before he slid his hand between my thighs and massaged his way into my swollen pussy. My insides bubble and an electric surge shoots through me. I gasp for air when he slides a third finger into me to join the other two. Apollo was bringing my sleeping pussy back to life.

  “You’re tight,” he exhales into my lips.

  “Uh-huh.”

  “When was the last time someone fucked you real good?”

  Besides Cash?

  “And made you cum so hard you squirted?”

  I’d heard stories about that but always thought it was an urban myth.

  Apollo kneels in front of me and slips his other arm behind me, pulling me onto the edge of the cushion. Rhythmically, he moves his fingers inside me like he’s been there before, like he knows his way around, finger-fucking me into delirium. I haven’t been finger-fucked since the tenth grade! And I don’t remember it feeling anything like this. He props my right leg over his shoulder and the other obediently follows. And with every finger-thrust, each one more powerful that the last, he rocks me deeper into oblivion. When I glance down I see his dick through his denim standing at attention. I lick my lips and feel a sudden urge to get to know him. But before I can make any power moves, he pushes me back onto the couch, shutting me down, putting me back in my place. “My rules,” he says, as his free hand travels around my belly and up my torso, stopping just short of my second blouse button. There is instruction in his eyes. I know exactly what he wants me to do. Apollo rubs my left breast over the silky top and I can’t unhook my bra fast enough. He takes turns caressing my breasts. We are both in a hot rhythm, moving in sync with each other’s beats. He squeezes my nipple between his fingers and I’m certain I’m going to…erupt. Right then. Explode. Right there.

  “Right there!” I swear, groaning into the air, now scented with sex
. Like a magician, he continues to fuck me with three fingers, my G-spot now under his spell, and erotically massages my breasts while exploring my mouth with his tongue.

  “Oh, god!” I hear myself testify. My legs are in the air, hovering over his head somewhere, my hands wrapped around the back of his neck. “Oh, god!”

  He orders, “Let go and cum for me!”

  “OH, GOD!” The orgasmic ride snakes down my spine and slithers straight through me. “OHHH, GODDD…”

  7

  Who is this masked man? My body spasms through the aftermath of small orgasms. Nerve endings are tingly and my eyes are still rolling around in my head. Apollo slides his soaked fingers from inside me and licks each of them. “You taste as good as I knew you would.” His penetrating voice makes me want to hop on all fours and bow down. I feel his other hand unbuttoning the last two buttons on my blouse and I wriggle free from it. The soft silk is like a razor against my skin as it slides down my arms. I purr as he leaves a trail of kisses past my neck straight into my breasts. I sit up to watch when he stops to give them his full attention. The sharp smell of cum has settled into the air. I breathe it in, flinching when he squeezes my breasts. That hurts so good. He bites down on his lips and within seconds, my nipples are between his teeth. I pull away from the painful pleasure.

  “Take it,” he orders.

  I gasp into submission and watch him caress my breasts, then lick them, suck them and devour them all over again. Without instruction this time, my fingers find my swelling clit.

  I am totally spellbound. Watching his head buried between my breasts I hear, “Now, I want your pussy. Put it in my mouth.” Oh, Penny! Apollo is on his knees, pressing my thighs farther apart. He smoothes his hand across my bare pussy and in one beat, two of his fingers slither inside me while his tongue bathes my clit. The room turns every shade of purple and I swear a white glow encircles him. “Oh, god!” I am moaning so loud. The neighbors! He stops to glide his tongue over my liquid lips, coveting each of them. When I feel like I’m going to crawl straight out of my skin, I grab the back of his head. My back bends into a perfect arch as he starts to tongue-fuck me. My French tips dig deeper into him. My wet thighs throttle him. My legs are wrapped around his head and I am somewhere deep in his mouth. I feel my body rising from the couch and realize Apollo has picked me up and is headed toward the bedroom—with me in midair and my pussy mid tongue-fuck. He doesn’t miss a beat or a thrust, or a lick or a suck as he carries me down the foyer, around the corner, into the kitchen, past the dressing room…straight through the pearly gates.

  8

  Apollo unzips my skirt and tosses it to the floor in my bedroom. He moves like a master and I watch every move he makes. I can’t pull my eyes away from him. Epic. He stands over me, running his hands over my thighs and down my legs. This must be what the champagne room in heaven feels like.

  “I want to know what you feel like.” My stomach knots. “But I need to see what you look like first.” See?

  Before he can reach for the light switch, I grab his arm. “Wait, I don’t think—”

  “Wait?” he chuckles, grabbing the back of my hair. “This is my game, darlin’; do as you’re told.”

  Okay. My fingers go limp and I release his arm and surrender.

  He flips the light switch. It flickers before spotlighting me.

  “Now, stand up.” As I lower my body to the floor, he says, “Not on the floor…the bed.”

  I balance myself on the plush duvet.

  He moves toward me. “Turn around.” He licks his lips, tilting his head to the side. “Slowly.”

  I obey.

  He runs his hand over his smooth head and across the back of his neck before unbuckling his leather belt. A part of me wants to know what comes next. The other part wants him to bend me over and spank me. Our eyes lock as his denim rattles against the hardwood. His boxer-briefs fit snugly around his bulging dick and I am dying to feel it between my jaws, shoved down my throat. He unbuttons his shirt, never taking his eyes from my thighs.

  “I can see you.”

  I fidget with my hands behind my back. “And?”

  “I like it.”

  My face burns red as I blush.

  “Come take these off,” he nods down at his briefs. “Get on your knees,” he commands, eyeing the floor. Without blinking, I drop to all fours and slink toward him. My index fingers grip the elastic waistband, and as I pull them down, his hard ribbed dick rises to greet my mouth. Well, hello! He wraps my hair around his hand and yanks my head back, my mouth now wide open, and thrusts his dick between my cheeks. I suck my new BFF slowly at first, then faster and harder, stopping only when he grabs the back of my neck and pulls me in. My pussy sizzles when I feel the tip of his dick slide deeper down my throat. I massage his balls, tickling around them until he finally frees me from his grip. I wrap my mouth around each of them, devouring them to the sound of improvised hums and impromptu moans. What would Jenna do? I line my grip with spit and with his dick between both hands, I rotate my stroke in opposing motion. I give him head until my mouth is numb. The throbbing pulse in his dick tells me he wants to cum, but before he does he yanks my head back by my hair and yells into the air, “FUCKKK!”

  9

  “It’s time for me to fuck you.”

  I hesitate. Everything around me is moving in slow motion.

  “Now!”

  His words sting down my spine as he throws me onto the bed and straddles me. Apollo dips his fingers into my pussy to test the temperature, puts them in his mouth. “You taste so good.” He rubs my liquid lips with the tip of his dick. I grip the satin sheet beneath me and remind myself to breathe. “Let go. I got you, baby.”

  “Yes,” I hear myself murmur. Inch by unbelievable inch my pussy stretches out to take him.

  “I want to hear you!”

  He is over me, his chest shiny with sweat, glazing his superhuman body. “Yes!”

  “Louder!” He orders into my ear.

  “OH, MY GOD!”

  He kisses me; his tongue is slick, his thrusts harder. The ride speeds toward wild. His motion is ripped with power. The electric black air is pulsing around me. I let go and wrap my legs around his waist. He throws them over his shoulders instead, and fucks me with savage intensity. My back bends when he slips his arm behind it and flips me over to straddle him. I carve my nails into his abs, my pussy now swallowing him.

  “That’s right; take all of it!” he commands, and palms my cheeks, digging deeper into me. I throw my head back and gasp. He slaps my ass, branding a welt into my skin. I can feel him everywhere. My pussy tightens around him, stroking him up and down, sucking him in as the ride rocks from side to side. He slaps me again, my skin stinging. “Very good,” he says, tasting my breasts. As I master the rhythm and soul of his flow, my toes curl.

  “Come up here and sit on my face,” he orders. I slip in and out of ecstasy as I climb him. He tastes me first, then begins to own me, forcing my face into the headboard. My pelvis snakes around his mouth as his tongue teases my clit. His fingers trail the dripping sweat down the curve of my back, straight into my asscrack. I shriek into the damp air as he slips in a second finger to fuck me dirty. His tongue is wrapped around my clit as I grind my hips between his lips. My head spins as the ride picks up speed.

  I can’t breathe. I gasp for air. As I’m exhaling, he swings my thigh over his head and tosses me roughly around the wet bed. My screams, now muffled in the duvet, hit a feverish pitch as he fucks me from behind. His breathing is heavy, his moans now louder each time he rams his dick deeper into me. He wraps his fingers around my throat causing my clit to almost explode. Cream covers my fingers as I tour my pussy toward climax. He chokes me, fucking me wildly, until I feel a hot stream of cum shoot from inside of me—“OH, GOD!”—squirting all over me.

  I look down in raw confusion and he orders me to “Let it flow!”

  I cry out in unimaginable ecstasy, “Oh, GAWD!”

  Barely abl
e, I roll over and palm his rock-hard dick, deepthroating it until it’s beating stronger than my heart. He grabs my head and pulls me into him until his body shocks.

  “Open your mouth!”

  I obey and his milky cum explodes all over my face.

  10

  Sooo totally better than Turks & Caicos! I replay the highlights of our fuck session in my mind as I finish washing Apollo off me. Jaguar prances into the bathroom and licks her lips. I know, right! Smothered in afterglow, I tie the silk robe around my waist and spy Apollo-the-Fucking-God leaning against the front door. Amen.

  “I can see you now,” he repeats.

  I clear my throat. “Yes. And…”

  “I like what I see.”

  I glance at the floor.

  “Look at me.”

  My eyes travel up his body, straight into his eyes. “Did you like being fucked like that?”

  I feel a chill and nod.

  He smiles that familiar killer smile.

  “Is there more?” I ask, in a hushed voice.

  “Maybe you are a big girl. You think you can handle more?”

  I nod again, anxious to get on the waiting list.

  “There may be something we can do about that.” He unloosens my robe in a swift move and studies the curves of my body. “And both get what we want.”

  He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a thick wad of money. As he counts off several big bills, he orders me to take a shower and rest up. “But first, this is for you.”

  “What?” I shake my head in confusion. “What’s this?”

  “Take it.”

  “But…but…I can’t take—”

  “Yeah, you can.” He wraps my fingers around the cash. “You earned it.”

  I step back. “You’re paying me! For, for, SEX!”

  “You were worth it.”

  OM-fucking-G!

  “But, I’m not…I’m not…” I whisper, “a hooker!”